“God never made a promise that was too good to be true.”
― D.L. Moody
Prophecy is seldom ended with the word "now". I know people who waited decades for prophecy to become reality. Revelations is a book of prophecy that has not been completed and look how long ago it was written.
One of the saddest situations I see in the army God is building for this time is those who have been called to powerful positions in His military, but have no concept of His timing. I would guess if a soldier at boot camp was told within his first few weeks that he will be a great general one day, he wouldn't expect it to happen before the year was through. He would understand that boot camp and climbing the ranks would be a requirement to reach that goal.
In God's army I see prophecy given all the time about powerful people and where God wants to take them. When this happens, a person should first look for confirmation and then ask God the same question he would ask if he hadn't heard the prophetic word. "Where do you want me now?" The Lord will provide that training and I for one can say boot camp is not swimming, fishing and boating on the lake. it feels more like drowning, starving, and storms. Too many people want to lead before they have been trained to follow, eat from the tree before they plant the seed, and minister to others before they are willing to be ministered to. They set there sights on where God wants to take them not realizing that there is a rough road of training that leads there.
Some people will need to realize that their journey is like Josephs and they will spend years as a slave, years in prison, be lied about and deceived before they even take the first steps into the position God promised. Some people will have a journey like Jonah and head the wrong way. How many years did David spend shepherding sheep before becoming a soldier and eventually shepherding people.
I know a woman, whom I highly respect, who is a general in the army of God. I am not the only one who received this word about her from the Lord. She is a quiet woman. She doesn't need attention, praise or glory. She loves God, she loves her neighbor. She is also transparent about her battles and the years of training she has endured. She is highly respected by many people because they see her loyalty to her King. She is not afraid to call you out if the Lord instructs and she is just as quick to hug you if those are the orders she receives. This woman is over 60. It did not come easy, but with the will of a true general she always kept her eye on the goal and kept moving forward. God trusts her.
Before the Lord can even begin the training with you, you have to know who He is. It's only when you enter a true relationship with Him that He can trust you to go through the training and recognize it is a must. Prophecy is usually a word given so you are aware that the intense training in that area is about to begin. It is not a notice to go wait in the car.
“...It is a proud privilege to be a soldier – a good soldier … [with] discipline, self-respect, pride in his unit and his country, a high sense of duty and obligation to comrades and to his superiors, and a self confidence born of demonstrated ability.”
― George S. Patton Jr.
Saturday, August 9, 2014
Friday, August 8, 2014
Shame off you!!
“My case is urgent, and I do not see how I am to be delivered; but this is no business of mine. He who makes the promise will find ways and means of keeping it. It is mine to obey His commands; it is not mine to direct His counsels.”
― C.H. Spurgeon
It is so important that people know there is no shame in being oppressed by a spirit. A true believer in Christ cannot be possessed but anyone of us can be oppressed. Many people fight a battle and lose repeatedly. For example addiction. You try and try to put it down, but you relapse over and over. Many churches preach forgiveness and grace and accountability, but they don't want to talk about demonic spirits. But many times if you have tried repeatedly and given in, there is a spirit influencing you that needs to go, before you can be released. I thank God the pastor I went to did not put shame on me. In fact he stressed that this happens to many people and immediately pulled a team together to come to my house and help me. Of course the shame was huge and I fought having them to my house for months, but what relief I found when they finally came and walked me through it. They cleaned my house of tormenting spirits and prayed a few off me too.
Once I understood how they got into my life it freed me from the shame. It is as simple as an unwanted pregnancy. Maybe it's for financial reasons or being unmarried, but the moment a pregnant woman says anything about not wanting to be pregnant a door is opened to the demonic spirit of rejection. We are living in the world and the enemy is the ruler of this world. There are doors all around us that can be opened to many demonic strongholds. But there is a huge door above us we can open to the heavens, so Jesus may enter into our lives.
For example if a child is molested many doors are opened to the enemy. This is why it is such a powerful tool for him to use. Once it has happened many doors to many spirits are open. The spirit of manipulation, trauma, deception, perversion, possibly even rape and many more spirits are granted access through the authority they have been given on earth. How can we make a person feel ashamed of a spirit influencing them when they may have still been in the womb when the door was opened.
I used to drive down the road and have thoughts I believed were mine, and it took months before I realized the voice I heard did not belong to me. A demonic spirit was constantly trying to convince me that driving into a tree or off a cliff would solve all my problems and the war I felt I had been fighting every day of my life would be won. What I didn't realize was the war was real, but it was spiritual and it was the enemy who would have won, not me.
I had the authority as a child of God to tell that spirit to go in the name of Jesus. It took three friends and my willingness to finally make it go. It was one of the more difficult to be rid of, but it is gone.
Not all churches deal with this, but there are people out there who do. Many cities have healing rooms filled with people who pray for the sick, the tormented and anyone else who needs emotional, spiritual, or physical healing. To walk in there and say, "I think I am being tormented by spirits" could change your life. The enemy will whisper in your ear that it is not him, it's you, but that should be your first clue. Truth sets us free and this is part of finding that truth.
“Go out and heal the sick, raise the dead, cast out demons and preach the kingdom. But do it for only one reason. Your motive should be an overwhelming love and compassion for those in need. There is no other legitimate motive for healing.”
― Praying Medic, Divine Healing Made Simple
― C.H. Spurgeon
It is so important that people know there is no shame in being oppressed by a spirit. A true believer in Christ cannot be possessed but anyone of us can be oppressed. Many people fight a battle and lose repeatedly. For example addiction. You try and try to put it down, but you relapse over and over. Many churches preach forgiveness and grace and accountability, but they don't want to talk about demonic spirits. But many times if you have tried repeatedly and given in, there is a spirit influencing you that needs to go, before you can be released. I thank God the pastor I went to did not put shame on me. In fact he stressed that this happens to many people and immediately pulled a team together to come to my house and help me. Of course the shame was huge and I fought having them to my house for months, but what relief I found when they finally came and walked me through it. They cleaned my house of tormenting spirits and prayed a few off me too.
Once I understood how they got into my life it freed me from the shame. It is as simple as an unwanted pregnancy. Maybe it's for financial reasons or being unmarried, but the moment a pregnant woman says anything about not wanting to be pregnant a door is opened to the demonic spirit of rejection. We are living in the world and the enemy is the ruler of this world. There are doors all around us that can be opened to many demonic strongholds. But there is a huge door above us we can open to the heavens, so Jesus may enter into our lives.
For example if a child is molested many doors are opened to the enemy. This is why it is such a powerful tool for him to use. Once it has happened many doors to many spirits are open. The spirit of manipulation, trauma, deception, perversion, possibly even rape and many more spirits are granted access through the authority they have been given on earth. How can we make a person feel ashamed of a spirit influencing them when they may have still been in the womb when the door was opened.
I used to drive down the road and have thoughts I believed were mine, and it took months before I realized the voice I heard did not belong to me. A demonic spirit was constantly trying to convince me that driving into a tree or off a cliff would solve all my problems and the war I felt I had been fighting every day of my life would be won. What I didn't realize was the war was real, but it was spiritual and it was the enemy who would have won, not me.
I had the authority as a child of God to tell that spirit to go in the name of Jesus. It took three friends and my willingness to finally make it go. It was one of the more difficult to be rid of, but it is gone.
Not all churches deal with this, but there are people out there who do. Many cities have healing rooms filled with people who pray for the sick, the tormented and anyone else who needs emotional, spiritual, or physical healing. To walk in there and say, "I think I am being tormented by spirits" could change your life. The enemy will whisper in your ear that it is not him, it's you, but that should be your first clue. Truth sets us free and this is part of finding that truth.
“Go out and heal the sick, raise the dead, cast out demons and preach the kingdom. But do it for only one reason. Your motive should be an overwhelming love and compassion for those in need. There is no other legitimate motive for healing.”
― Praying Medic, Divine Healing Made Simple
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Do you love me?
Confrontation is an examination. It is a procedure that trusts another to look at some part of your life that you may not know about or understand. Healthy confrontation is necessary if we expect to build healthy lives and live in peace. - Danny Silk - Culture of Honor
The Lord has been talking to me on many subjects and as I wait for the pieces to come together He said to start with this from His child.
Do you love me enough to speak up? You see my behavior changing. You see me acting out. You suspect that I am being abused, but will you ask if I am okay? You see something in my eyes, is it fear, is it pain, will you help me? But what if you do? What if you address what you see? Will I shrink away in shame, believing that somehow it is my fault they are hurting me? Will you be the safe person who I feel comfortable to share that something is wrong? If the abuse goes unchecked it will only get worse. Not only will the wounds dig deeper into my soul, but others around me will begin to feel the effects of those wounds.
We automatically think this is coming from a child being mistreated by an adult, but what if this was written by a child of God being abused by a demonic spirit? Read it again. We see it happening as they become filled with pride and arrogance or maybe they are shrinking away because of a spirit of fear. We know they have so much to give and the enemy is keeping them from giving it.
There is the other side of this. What if you are the one being tormented and you don't see it and a friend approaches you? We can't take offense. The most important commandment is to love each other. To see a child being abused by an adult or a child of God being tormented by a demon and do nothing is allowing it to go on. True love speaks up.
I have been that abused child. I was abused for several years by several people and nobody ever asked. I have been that child of God tormented by the enemy and I thank God He gave me friends to speak up. If you love me you will confront. After all, it is not the one being abused who is actually being confronted it is the abuser, the accuser, the liar, the tormentor who we war against.
Being tormented by a demonic presence most often turns to sin. A spirit of perversion can lead to an affair or pornography addiction. A spirit of fear can lead to disobedience to God. A spirit of control can turn into abusing and/or manipulating others.
God allowed you to see something that spoke to your heart and said "Something is wrong here." He showed you for a reason. Always ask if you are the one to confront or maybe you are called to pray. Pray that the one called to confront hears His voice and steps out with courage. Pray for His will to be done. Pray for the abuser to be exposed. Today people are so afraid to confront or get in other people's business, but we are called to love and no where in the bible does it say that love is easy. But one thing love is... is action.
“Nothing can be more cruel than the leniency which abandons others to their sin. Nothing can be more compassionate than the severe reprimand which calls another Christian in one’s community back from the path of sin.”
― Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together: The Classic Exploration of Faith in Community
Friday, August 1, 2014
Screwtape mentoring
“Surely you know that if a man can't be cured of churchgoing, the next best thing is to send him all over the neighbourhood looking for the church that "suits" him until he becomes a taster or connoisseur of churches.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters
I haven't written anything since the last time I wrote on this blog. Why? Because I don't want to. My desire to write, my passion for putting my thoughts into words has all but disappeared. It's very strange as big as the feeling was it is gone now. But, this causes a problem. One of the ways the Lord communicates with me is by giving me pieces to a puzzle and then I spread them out on a table, get the edge pieces separated from the rest and then color code, etc. etc. Well, words from Him are the pieces. The page is my table. I don't know another way to do this when He is giving me so many pieces to what is sure to be a very large puzzle.
This morning I said to Him, "Where did the passion go? I thought this was a gift?" His answer? "I don't take gifts back." Hmm. Maybe that was why He had me listening to the Screwtape Letters? If you are unfamiliar with them, it is a series of letters written by Uncle Screwtape (demon) to his nephew Wormwood (a demon also) mentoring him in the fine art of manipulating the life of the person he is assigned to. It's almost comical how puppet like people are.
So I give God this picture of all these multi dimensional words He has been giving me as puzzle pieces stirring around in my brain and how impossible it looks to funnel them down through a pen. It's just too hard. Then He gives me His own picture of the top of my head coming off to expose all those puzzle pieces and a demon stirring it all up like a brew in a big black pot. The author of confusion.
"Okay Lord, what do I do?" He said, "Write. Write something, anything, just write." As I try to write the computer crashed, I hit my head and I knocked over a pile of books. But I keep moving forward knowing who is fighting me, who has convinced me I am too tired, it is too hot, and it's really not important what I have to say. And I succeed. I have written. Now we will see what can of worm(wood) it opens. Ha.
“Prosperity knits a man to the World. He feels that he is ‘finding his place in it’, while really it is finding its place in him.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters
― C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters
I haven't written anything since the last time I wrote on this blog. Why? Because I don't want to. My desire to write, my passion for putting my thoughts into words has all but disappeared. It's very strange as big as the feeling was it is gone now. But, this causes a problem. One of the ways the Lord communicates with me is by giving me pieces to a puzzle and then I spread them out on a table, get the edge pieces separated from the rest and then color code, etc. etc. Well, words from Him are the pieces. The page is my table. I don't know another way to do this when He is giving me so many pieces to what is sure to be a very large puzzle.
This morning I said to Him, "Where did the passion go? I thought this was a gift?" His answer? "I don't take gifts back." Hmm. Maybe that was why He had me listening to the Screwtape Letters? If you are unfamiliar with them, it is a series of letters written by Uncle Screwtape (demon) to his nephew Wormwood (a demon also) mentoring him in the fine art of manipulating the life of the person he is assigned to. It's almost comical how puppet like people are.
So I give God this picture of all these multi dimensional words He has been giving me as puzzle pieces stirring around in my brain and how impossible it looks to funnel them down through a pen. It's just too hard. Then He gives me His own picture of the top of my head coming off to expose all those puzzle pieces and a demon stirring it all up like a brew in a big black pot. The author of confusion.
"Okay Lord, what do I do?" He said, "Write. Write something, anything, just write." As I try to write the computer crashed, I hit my head and I knocked over a pile of books. But I keep moving forward knowing who is fighting me, who has convinced me I am too tired, it is too hot, and it's really not important what I have to say. And I succeed. I have written. Now we will see what can of worm(wood) it opens. Ha.
“Prosperity knits a man to the World. He feels that he is ‘finding his place in it’, while really it is finding its place in him.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Follow Me
“I have faith that God will show you the answer. But you have to understand that sometimes it takes a while to be able to recognize what God wants you to do. That's how it often is. God's voice is usually nothing more than a whisper, and you have to listen very carefully to hear it. But other times, in those rarest of moments, the answer is obvious and rings as loud as a church bell.”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Last Song
I think I have lost my ability to put my thoughts. feelings, experiences and conversations with God into any kind of order using the English language. Sucks because it is the only language I know. I'm trying to sum up the last weeks, months and all I get are tears. I remember taking rides in the mountains and snapping pictures, even panoramic to get the beauty of what I saw, but the picture would come back without most of the beauty. It's like trying to get the Grand Canyon on paper, it's not going to happen.
So we go back to a day when I decided to sell everything and go. Go where? Where ever God told me, even though it was my plan and not His. Then one day I realized, He was planning with me. Whose plan was this anyway? As I looked around the house, adding up in my head how much money I could make, He said, "Give it away." Excuse me?
We jump ahead about a month and here we are. It's all gone. I'm down to a few boxes and He says, "Give more." My flesh says, "You should be working two jobs and feeding the poor." Who does this? Those hyper spiritual Jesus freaks, that's who. I guess that's me. I've said this before and I will say it again, The Lord often opens my eyes when He repeats my questions and statements back to me. I said, I want all you have to give me and He said to me, I want all you have to give me. I seemed to have let God out of the box, but not his answers. I was thinking I might be blessed with a great job. Well, I got one. I work for Him. He has promised to pay, to provide. All I have to do is whatever He asks. Sounds easy? It's not. It is, but it's not. He told me, if He had given me a job, I never would have considered leaving. I would have stayed there in that house where I was comfortable. Following Christ is anything but comfortable most of the time.
I come from a family of workers, many work-a-holic's. I have created 3 children who are all hard workers. It is what we do. It is the right thing. In conversation with the Lord, He wants everything I own except my car to fit in my file cabinet. I am almost there.
He has given me several projects and several people to pray for. I am busier than ever and totally blown away at the favor and blessings. People are showing up and offering to pay for things. I trust Him. I have to. I am staying with a wonderful couple who I can talk to about anything and they understand these supernatural Jesus freak things that God does. I haven't been open with everyone about what He is doing, because not everyone would understand, but it's time to put what man thinks aside. I only care what Jesus wants.
In a couple months, I know He will some how (good testimony material) pull together the money for Africa. That is where He is sending me. At least for awhile. He has not been very specific, but that's okay, details don't matter at this point. How do I pay for a plane ticket? What if I don't have to? What if I pass through a door and I am there? It is biblical. So, is...
― Nicholas Sparks, The Last Song
I think I have lost my ability to put my thoughts. feelings, experiences and conversations with God into any kind of order using the English language. Sucks because it is the only language I know. I'm trying to sum up the last weeks, months and all I get are tears. I remember taking rides in the mountains and snapping pictures, even panoramic to get the beauty of what I saw, but the picture would come back without most of the beauty. It's like trying to get the Grand Canyon on paper, it's not going to happen.
So we go back to a day when I decided to sell everything and go. Go where? Where ever God told me, even though it was my plan and not His. Then one day I realized, He was planning with me. Whose plan was this anyway? As I looked around the house, adding up in my head how much money I could make, He said, "Give it away." Excuse me?
We jump ahead about a month and here we are. It's all gone. I'm down to a few boxes and He says, "Give more." My flesh says, "You should be working two jobs and feeding the poor." Who does this? Those hyper spiritual Jesus freaks, that's who. I guess that's me. I've said this before and I will say it again, The Lord often opens my eyes when He repeats my questions and statements back to me. I said, I want all you have to give me and He said to me, I want all you have to give me. I seemed to have let God out of the box, but not his answers. I was thinking I might be blessed with a great job. Well, I got one. I work for Him. He has promised to pay, to provide. All I have to do is whatever He asks. Sounds easy? It's not. It is, but it's not. He told me, if He had given me a job, I never would have considered leaving. I would have stayed there in that house where I was comfortable. Following Christ is anything but comfortable most of the time.
I come from a family of workers, many work-a-holic's. I have created 3 children who are all hard workers. It is what we do. It is the right thing. In conversation with the Lord, He wants everything I own except my car to fit in my file cabinet. I am almost there.
He has given me several projects and several people to pray for. I am busier than ever and totally blown away at the favor and blessings. People are showing up and offering to pay for things. I trust Him. I have to. I am staying with a wonderful couple who I can talk to about anything and they understand these supernatural Jesus freak things that God does. I haven't been open with everyone about what He is doing, because not everyone would understand, but it's time to put what man thinks aside. I only care what Jesus wants.
In a couple months, I know He will some how (good testimony material) pull together the money for Africa. That is where He is sending me. At least for awhile. He has not been very specific, but that's okay, details don't matter at this point. How do I pay for a plane ticket? What if I don't have to? What if I pass through a door and I am there? It is biblical. So, is...
Matthew 19:21 (NIV)
21 Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Learning to Fly!
“If Christians around the world were to suddenly renounce their personal agendas, their life goals and their aspirations, and begin responding in radical obedience to everything God showed them. the world would be turned upside down. How do we know? Because that's what first century Christians did, and the world is still talking about it.”
― Henry T. Blackaby, Spiritual Leadership: Moving People on to God's Agenda
He sent a comforter and He would not have to do that if His plan was for us to be comfortable in our lives. I have all but begged God for a job in the last months and months and months. My resume is pretty good, but nothing, not one interview, absolutely nothing. Then one day as I walked around the house I rent, with a handy man sent by the landlord, I heard the Lord whisper, "It's time to go." Later He would tell me if He had given me a job, I would never leave this place where I feel safe. I would never even ask Him if this is where He wants me, because this is where I want to be - safe. Then He tells me to let everything go. I have given everything away. Basically all I have is my clothes and my car.
If you think you trust God, wait until He has you give everything away. He has plans for me this summer and I am excited about those plans and at the same time, I am scared. The world says I should have a job. My flesh says I should probably have two jobs. God already has 4 major events planned for ministry this summer and He is providing for me. Every time I get nervous He shows up in a big way. Step out in faith and I will take care of you.
Leaving this house where I found Jesus is very difficult. I have memories here of demonic attack that were terrifying, but I have more memories of God showing up. There has been so much healing here. It's easier to give my things away than it is to walk out the door of this house.
I sound like one of those Jesus freaks we have all been warned about. I think I am one. If the definition of a Jesus freak is someone who totally believes and trusts in Him and is willing to obey and follow, well... then I guess I am a Jesus freak. In the last few years God has shown me where He was each year of my life. He has shown me how He protected me before I even really knew Him. He has shown me the value in the lessons, the reasons for the pain and glimpses of the plan He has for me. There is a freedom and a peace that comes with knowing I am walking in His will. There is no safer place to be. There will be people who think I have lost it. But I have a cross to carry and if I pick it up and walk the path He has chosen, He helps me carry it. I am excited to share what he does in my life as I let go of the control I pretended to have and allow Him to take it all.
"Nowhere near the driver's seat, and I love this journey God's got me on!”
― Dolls Bowman
― Henry T. Blackaby, Spiritual Leadership: Moving People on to God's Agenda
He sent a comforter and He would not have to do that if His plan was for us to be comfortable in our lives. I have all but begged God for a job in the last months and months and months. My resume is pretty good, but nothing, not one interview, absolutely nothing. Then one day as I walked around the house I rent, with a handy man sent by the landlord, I heard the Lord whisper, "It's time to go." Later He would tell me if He had given me a job, I would never leave this place where I feel safe. I would never even ask Him if this is where He wants me, because this is where I want to be - safe. Then He tells me to let everything go. I have given everything away. Basically all I have is my clothes and my car.
If you think you trust God, wait until He has you give everything away. He has plans for me this summer and I am excited about those plans and at the same time, I am scared. The world says I should have a job. My flesh says I should probably have two jobs. God already has 4 major events planned for ministry this summer and He is providing for me. Every time I get nervous He shows up in a big way. Step out in faith and I will take care of you.
Leaving this house where I found Jesus is very difficult. I have memories here of demonic attack that were terrifying, but I have more memories of God showing up. There has been so much healing here. It's easier to give my things away than it is to walk out the door of this house.
I sound like one of those Jesus freaks we have all been warned about. I think I am one. If the definition of a Jesus freak is someone who totally believes and trusts in Him and is willing to obey and follow, well... then I guess I am a Jesus freak. In the last few years God has shown me where He was each year of my life. He has shown me how He protected me before I even really knew Him. He has shown me the value in the lessons, the reasons for the pain and glimpses of the plan He has for me. There is a freedom and a peace that comes with knowing I am walking in His will. There is no safer place to be. There will be people who think I have lost it. But I have a cross to carry and if I pick it up and walk the path He has chosen, He helps me carry it. I am excited to share what he does in my life as I let go of the control I pretended to have and allow Him to take it all.
"Nowhere near the driver's seat, and I love this journey God's got me on!”
― Dolls Bowman
Friday, February 28, 2014
Dinner in the Foyer?
“As you soak in His Presence, and soak up His love for you, you will begin to know that you are truly and totally loved, maybe for the first time in your life. This will change your life in so many ways. You will feel and experience His love and His rest and His peace daily and this cannot help but affect your life.”
― Linda Boone, Intimate Life Lessons; developing the intimacy with God you already have.
In the book I am reading the author talks of a friend who was thankful to be single. He expressed it often, but one day he began praying in tongues and the interpretation of what he was saying was a deep longing for a wife and family. Once he acknowledged this, he was soon married and blessed with children. My first thought was that he must have had some idea he wanted marriage. But the Lord pointed out to me there have been times in my life when I thought, truly believed I had forgiven and then realized I had buried deep in my heart a debilitating bitterness. Many times I have thought the actions of another did not affect me at all, only to read something or hear something later and realize I was really hurt.
I think all people, especially abused or deeply hurt people keep the inner most rooms of their heart locked up tight so even they forget those chambers exist. When we step into an intimate friendship with another person, we slowly reveal who we really are to each other, but there is a place we decide to stop revealing, often times depending on their reaction or behavior. When we step into an intimate relationship with Christ He loves to reveal to us who He is, but this relationship is different than a human friendship, because He also reveals to us who we really are.
If Jesus were standing before me right now, the one thing between Him and my heart is flesh. That's why we have to invite Him into our hearts. Truly give it to Him. Allow him to roam around in those dark and locked up places. It is so much easier to hear our flesh than it is to hear that still small voice. We have to rip back that flesh over our hearts and give Him complete access. If we keep Him on the outside His words have to travel through our flesh, which is a me, me, me filter. Allowing Him to roam freely in the deepest darkest chambers of our heart can be painful, but it is so worth it.
I constantly ask God to reveal hidden sin. Lord if I am prideful show me. If I am holding on to bitterness reveal it to me. I want to see it and I want to repent and truly change. I expect there to be bad behaviors, feelings and habits in me, but to my surprise instead of hidden sin, He is working on revealing hidden desires. Yes, He cares about our desires. During our conversation about how I could possibly not know what's in my heart He suddenly gave me a picture of Him on the cross. I was overwhelmed with how alone He felt. He even cried out, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?" Then He whispered to me, "I get it."
"WHAT? Get what? I have friends. I am not alone."
The truth. I always feel alone. The only one who has even touched on removing that deep heart felt loneliness is Jesus. I do not feel alone when I am alone with Him. "What are you talking about, Jesus?" He had to walk me through the feeling of loneliness to reveal a deep desire I would have denied up until that moment. I want somebody, I want Him to take care of me. I have always prided myself on taking care of myself. It's easy to submit when God asks me to do something, like bless someone, pray for something, love another. No problem. Now, He is taking me through a test of receiving. This is more difficult for me than giving by far. He has taken away everything I put my security into and said, "Let me take care of you." I don't know how.
I want to kick open doors that are not mine to open. He wants to gently push other doors open and invite me to step through into an unknown place. My flesh wants to provide for myself and others and He is saying, "Let me." He is telling me that I want Him to and He wants to provide for me, but I don't totally trust Him to do that. This is an area I keep Him on the outside. My flesh is between His presence and my heart. My flesh says, "I will provide for myself what I need." He says my heart is expressing a desire opposite of my flesh.
My flesh and my spirit go to war. My head backs up my flesh, while my heart is in support of my spirit. And the war goes on as I try desperately to crucify my flesh and allow my heart to beat in time with His.
I heard a woman speak recently on how our Father, the King opens the door and invites us to live in His castle, but so many of us stand in the foyer. Whole churches are gathered there in the foyer, peeking in to watch Jesus move about the place. She used the example of how we would feel if our kids felt they only deserved the foyer. What if they never sat at our table, slept in a nice comfortable bed, enjoyed the presence of our company? How ridiculous that sounds. I see my friends in the castle moving about with Jesus, I hear them laugh. I'm stepping in. I'm checking out every corner of this castle He wants to share with me. But, I think I will do that after I spend some time just sitting with Him on the couch. It's more satisfying to wait for Him to open the door and invite me in to where He wants me to be, than to kick the door down and find out I'm at the wrong castle.
His plan is not locked into time, it is locked into obedience of faith. When we step out into what He says, His will is done. - Don Nori Sr.
― Linda Boone, Intimate Life Lessons; developing the intimacy with God you already have.
In the book I am reading the author talks of a friend who was thankful to be single. He expressed it often, but one day he began praying in tongues and the interpretation of what he was saying was a deep longing for a wife and family. Once he acknowledged this, he was soon married and blessed with children. My first thought was that he must have had some idea he wanted marriage. But the Lord pointed out to me there have been times in my life when I thought, truly believed I had forgiven and then realized I had buried deep in my heart a debilitating bitterness. Many times I have thought the actions of another did not affect me at all, only to read something or hear something later and realize I was really hurt.
I think all people, especially abused or deeply hurt people keep the inner most rooms of their heart locked up tight so even they forget those chambers exist. When we step into an intimate friendship with another person, we slowly reveal who we really are to each other, but there is a place we decide to stop revealing, often times depending on their reaction or behavior. When we step into an intimate relationship with Christ He loves to reveal to us who He is, but this relationship is different than a human friendship, because He also reveals to us who we really are.
If Jesus were standing before me right now, the one thing between Him and my heart is flesh. That's why we have to invite Him into our hearts. Truly give it to Him. Allow him to roam around in those dark and locked up places. It is so much easier to hear our flesh than it is to hear that still small voice. We have to rip back that flesh over our hearts and give Him complete access. If we keep Him on the outside His words have to travel through our flesh, which is a me, me, me filter. Allowing Him to roam freely in the deepest darkest chambers of our heart can be painful, but it is so worth it.
I constantly ask God to reveal hidden sin. Lord if I am prideful show me. If I am holding on to bitterness reveal it to me. I want to see it and I want to repent and truly change. I expect there to be bad behaviors, feelings and habits in me, but to my surprise instead of hidden sin, He is working on revealing hidden desires. Yes, He cares about our desires. During our conversation about how I could possibly not know what's in my heart He suddenly gave me a picture of Him on the cross. I was overwhelmed with how alone He felt. He even cried out, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?" Then He whispered to me, "I get it."
"WHAT? Get what? I have friends. I am not alone."
The truth. I always feel alone. The only one who has even touched on removing that deep heart felt loneliness is Jesus. I do not feel alone when I am alone with Him. "What are you talking about, Jesus?" He had to walk me through the feeling of loneliness to reveal a deep desire I would have denied up until that moment. I want somebody, I want Him to take care of me. I have always prided myself on taking care of myself. It's easy to submit when God asks me to do something, like bless someone, pray for something, love another. No problem. Now, He is taking me through a test of receiving. This is more difficult for me than giving by far. He has taken away everything I put my security into and said, "Let me take care of you." I don't know how.
I want to kick open doors that are not mine to open. He wants to gently push other doors open and invite me to step through into an unknown place. My flesh wants to provide for myself and others and He is saying, "Let me." He is telling me that I want Him to and He wants to provide for me, but I don't totally trust Him to do that. This is an area I keep Him on the outside. My flesh is between His presence and my heart. My flesh says, "I will provide for myself what I need." He says my heart is expressing a desire opposite of my flesh.
My flesh and my spirit go to war. My head backs up my flesh, while my heart is in support of my spirit. And the war goes on as I try desperately to crucify my flesh and allow my heart to beat in time with His.
I heard a woman speak recently on how our Father, the King opens the door and invites us to live in His castle, but so many of us stand in the foyer. Whole churches are gathered there in the foyer, peeking in to watch Jesus move about the place. She used the example of how we would feel if our kids felt they only deserved the foyer. What if they never sat at our table, slept in a nice comfortable bed, enjoyed the presence of our company? How ridiculous that sounds. I see my friends in the castle moving about with Jesus, I hear them laugh. I'm stepping in. I'm checking out every corner of this castle He wants to share with me. But, I think I will do that after I spend some time just sitting with Him on the couch. It's more satisfying to wait for Him to open the door and invite me in to where He wants me to be, than to kick the door down and find out I'm at the wrong castle.
His plan is not locked into time, it is locked into obedience of faith. When we step out into what He says, His will is done. - Don Nori Sr.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Without free will - love does not exist.
“Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God's love encompasses us completely. ... He loves every one of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken.”
― Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Where are you God? How many times have we all screamed that? I love the questions we scream at Him and all He does is repeat them back to us. Where are you? Uh... right here where you left me? He sits right in front of us, then circumstances blind us and we can't see Him, but He hasn't moved.
The conversation starts out all business like. I do not have rent money, You have to do something. After a 48 hour freak out, I'm done with You God, I thought You said You love me blah blah blah, I break. I am broken. Whatever You want Lord, just tell me what to do. I want you to stop wandering off. The advice of a friend was to go back to the last thing he told me to do and that was editing. I have to finish editing my story. He has a plan.
I went back to the story with only 20 pages left to go through, but the last three blew me away. In my story I was telling about how I took Jesus on a tour. I drove Him around showing Him where several traumatic things happened to me. I talked to Him as though He was totally unaware these things even happened. Then we came to the field where the rape occurred. I told Him. He gave me a picture of Him there speaking loudly into the ear of the man, begging Him to stop. I couldn't handle anymore so I drove home.
I emailed a friend, hoping to find relief in the torment I was going through because of the picture. His response? "Imagine how Jesus felt." I don't remember exactly how I responded to that statement back then when it happened, but when I read it while editing I decided it was time to ask. I set the laptop down, got on my knees in my favorite prayer spot and with an obvious angry tone I asked Him. "How did that make you feel, Jesus?" He immediately responded with a picture. The rape was occurring in an interrogation room. That alone says something. There was a huge mirror on the wall where all I could see was what was happening to me. Me. It was about me. But it was a two way mirror and on the back side of the mirror where the investigators stand watching from another room was Jesus. He was slamming His fists on the window and He was yelling, "Stop! Don't hurt her. I love you." Yes, I knew He loved the rapist. At the same time, He was screaming to me, "I'm sorry. I never wanted this. I love you." But neither of us could see Him or hear Him. Then in that still small voice I heard, "The glass is made of free will." Of course our side was a mirror, because it was all about us. He was all about himself that night no matter the cost. I was all about what was happening to me.
This made sense to me and brought a few tears, but I still had to ask, "But how did you really feel?" Then He gave me a memory. My grandson wasn't old enough to talk yet and was having a procedure done at the hospital. My daughter could not handle it and walked out. I had to hold him down. He was crying and angry and fighting. I was crying and hurting and kissing his face, trying to comfort him. Then he looked at me with eyes I will never forget and still bring tears to mine. I could see the question, "Grandma, why are you letting them do this to me?" It ripped my heart completely out of my chest. The Lord said, "You could have forced them to stop. You could have picked him up and took him out of there. But?? You knew what needed to be. You knew what was best in the long run. I could have broken through that glass and picked you up and took you out of that car, but without free will love does not exist." I saw Jesus, I saw His heart. My grandson did not want comfort from me, he wanted his mother. I did not want comfort from Jesus, but instead ran to alcohol and many other things through the years, still angry at Him for allowing it to happen.
Like many people I have forgiven those who hurt me, but coming to a place where I understand Jesus' position is healing beyond anything I have ever known. At this time we have a 14 month old baby girl living with us. After this revelation I cannot look at her without understanding God even more. At first it was when she was being naughty and knew it. She reached for something she should not have while looking right at me. She knew. I thought of all the times I have done that. I give it to Him and then take it back, knowing it is wrong.
Then I watch her sleep and all I can think about is how God watches His children, us as we sleep and how that feels to Him. When she figures out that the triangle shape fits through the triangle hole and looks over at me to share in the excitement. I wonder how many times God is clapping for us and we don't even look His way. He has taken me to a place where I see it everywhere. I can't look at people and not see what He is seeing. How many times our parents told us not to and we didn't listen. He knows that one. Today I heard of a friend who reached out and hugged a stranger in tears and introduced her to Jesus. How did God feel about his daughter in that moment? I know how I feel when my kids reach out to show a stranger kindness. What was the right thing to do in her eyes, I believe caused a loud thunderous celebration in heaven, not only because the kingdom grew by one, but because Daddy was proud of His little girl for stepping out and trusting Him. She stepped out of the comfort zone and into the unknown, found His lost child and brought her straight to her Daddy's arms. I love that picture.
We tend to want the dealers arrested and punished who are selling those drugs to our kids, but He wants the dealer in His kingdom as much as He wants our child, because they both belong to Him. At any given time looking at our kids we can see mistakes they make that break our heart and sometimes we see courage or kindness that melts it. He sees every struggle, every tear, every fear of everyone of us even if we think He is not watching. How can we ignore that? We see Him as we see our earthly father and that is not how He is. No matter how good our dad was, He is better. He is perfect. He smiles at our messy faces, He can't help but stroke our hair while we sleep, He sees the danger as we learn to walk and has to let us fall. He laughs the first time we see snow and bends the branches down a little lower so we can reach the fruit we want to pick. He stands behind the glass of free will and He allows us to suffer, but He kisses our faces, offers comfort and weeps with us. This life is about becoming more like Jesus and He tells us to grieve with those who grieve and weep with those who weep, because that is what Jesus would do and does.
“What makes a man's 80 year-old Irish uncle skip like a little boy? "Me Father is very fond of me!”
― John Ortberg Jr., Everybody's Normal Till You Get to Know Them
― Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Where are you God? How many times have we all screamed that? I love the questions we scream at Him and all He does is repeat them back to us. Where are you? Uh... right here where you left me? He sits right in front of us, then circumstances blind us and we can't see Him, but He hasn't moved.
The conversation starts out all business like. I do not have rent money, You have to do something. After a 48 hour freak out, I'm done with You God, I thought You said You love me blah blah blah, I break. I am broken. Whatever You want Lord, just tell me what to do. I want you to stop wandering off. The advice of a friend was to go back to the last thing he told me to do and that was editing. I have to finish editing my story. He has a plan.
I went back to the story with only 20 pages left to go through, but the last three blew me away. In my story I was telling about how I took Jesus on a tour. I drove Him around showing Him where several traumatic things happened to me. I talked to Him as though He was totally unaware these things even happened. Then we came to the field where the rape occurred. I told Him. He gave me a picture of Him there speaking loudly into the ear of the man, begging Him to stop. I couldn't handle anymore so I drove home.
I emailed a friend, hoping to find relief in the torment I was going through because of the picture. His response? "Imagine how Jesus felt." I don't remember exactly how I responded to that statement back then when it happened, but when I read it while editing I decided it was time to ask. I set the laptop down, got on my knees in my favorite prayer spot and with an obvious angry tone I asked Him. "How did that make you feel, Jesus?" He immediately responded with a picture. The rape was occurring in an interrogation room. That alone says something. There was a huge mirror on the wall where all I could see was what was happening to me. Me. It was about me. But it was a two way mirror and on the back side of the mirror where the investigators stand watching from another room was Jesus. He was slamming His fists on the window and He was yelling, "Stop! Don't hurt her. I love you." Yes, I knew He loved the rapist. At the same time, He was screaming to me, "I'm sorry. I never wanted this. I love you." But neither of us could see Him or hear Him. Then in that still small voice I heard, "The glass is made of free will." Of course our side was a mirror, because it was all about us. He was all about himself that night no matter the cost. I was all about what was happening to me.
This made sense to me and brought a few tears, but I still had to ask, "But how did you really feel?" Then He gave me a memory. My grandson wasn't old enough to talk yet and was having a procedure done at the hospital. My daughter could not handle it and walked out. I had to hold him down. He was crying and angry and fighting. I was crying and hurting and kissing his face, trying to comfort him. Then he looked at me with eyes I will never forget and still bring tears to mine. I could see the question, "Grandma, why are you letting them do this to me?" It ripped my heart completely out of my chest. The Lord said, "You could have forced them to stop. You could have picked him up and took him out of there. But?? You knew what needed to be. You knew what was best in the long run. I could have broken through that glass and picked you up and took you out of that car, but without free will love does not exist." I saw Jesus, I saw His heart. My grandson did not want comfort from me, he wanted his mother. I did not want comfort from Jesus, but instead ran to alcohol and many other things through the years, still angry at Him for allowing it to happen.
Like many people I have forgiven those who hurt me, but coming to a place where I understand Jesus' position is healing beyond anything I have ever known. At this time we have a 14 month old baby girl living with us. After this revelation I cannot look at her without understanding God even more. At first it was when she was being naughty and knew it. She reached for something she should not have while looking right at me. She knew. I thought of all the times I have done that. I give it to Him and then take it back, knowing it is wrong.
Then I watch her sleep and all I can think about is how God watches His children, us as we sleep and how that feels to Him. When she figures out that the triangle shape fits through the triangle hole and looks over at me to share in the excitement. I wonder how many times God is clapping for us and we don't even look His way. He has taken me to a place where I see it everywhere. I can't look at people and not see what He is seeing. How many times our parents told us not to and we didn't listen. He knows that one. Today I heard of a friend who reached out and hugged a stranger in tears and introduced her to Jesus. How did God feel about his daughter in that moment? I know how I feel when my kids reach out to show a stranger kindness. What was the right thing to do in her eyes, I believe caused a loud thunderous celebration in heaven, not only because the kingdom grew by one, but because Daddy was proud of His little girl for stepping out and trusting Him. She stepped out of the comfort zone and into the unknown, found His lost child and brought her straight to her Daddy's arms. I love that picture.
We tend to want the dealers arrested and punished who are selling those drugs to our kids, but He wants the dealer in His kingdom as much as He wants our child, because they both belong to Him. At any given time looking at our kids we can see mistakes they make that break our heart and sometimes we see courage or kindness that melts it. He sees every struggle, every tear, every fear of everyone of us even if we think He is not watching. How can we ignore that? We see Him as we see our earthly father and that is not how He is. No matter how good our dad was, He is better. He is perfect. He smiles at our messy faces, He can't help but stroke our hair while we sleep, He sees the danger as we learn to walk and has to let us fall. He laughs the first time we see snow and bends the branches down a little lower so we can reach the fruit we want to pick. He stands behind the glass of free will and He allows us to suffer, but He kisses our faces, offers comfort and weeps with us. This life is about becoming more like Jesus and He tells us to grieve with those who grieve and weep with those who weep, because that is what Jesus would do and does.
“What makes a man's 80 year-old Irish uncle skip like a little boy? "Me Father is very fond of me!”
― John Ortberg Jr., Everybody's Normal Till You Get to Know Them
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Truth?
“We must cease striving and trust God to provide what He thinks is best and in whatever time He chooses to make it available. But this kind of trusting doesn't come naturally. It's a spiritual crisis of the will in which we must choose to exercise faith.”
― Charles R. Swindoll
For weeks, okay for months, I have been overwhelmed by the deception of others. Why do people lie? You are probably tired of hearing about it. I understand that people sin and have their own personal battles. I sin and have my own personal battles. But lying knocks me over. Why? I have been asking God over and over why He is showing me this. Why is He allowing me to see the deception by people who claim to love and follow Christ?
This morning, I finally got what He is showing me. It is a huge lack of trust in Him. It is a lack of knowing our true identity in Him. We have to step out in faith, but people who lie on a regular basis have no faith. They depend on their own manipulation to get the job done and often times they believe the job is for Him. But they don't trust Him to come through. They don't dare step out in faith. Why is this lesson coming at this time? Because I am editing my story, my book about my life. Transparency, and trusting the Lord with that transparency is crucial for touching the lives of the unbeliever. When I look at people who have been following Christ for over 30 years and who still operate daily on deception, my first thought is "God, what did you do?" Why hasn't He won them over after all this time?
I understand we all deal with doubt and unbelief at times. It is hard to trust, especially if trust has always been an issue in your life. But when a new believer walks through the door and sees a person who is supposedly following Christ but they are lying to get approval or whatever they want, it can turn a newby right around and send them back out the door. Over the last few days, the Lord has been showing me just how damaging lying is to His Kingdom and how angry He is about it. It's not the lack of trust that He despises so much as the lie spawned from that lack of trust.
Transparency in the believer is what draws the unbeliever. Our testimony is so important and if that testimony does not include trust in God, what good is it? I can show you who I really am and trust God to protect me. How many times have we heard another's story and identified with part of it and found freedom in that? If what we are projecting is false belief, how are we to win hearts?
So in editing my story, I have been tempted to delete parts that could set a captive free. Those parts that only another abused person would understand. Why? Not that I want to lie about it, but that I don't want to be embarrassed or judged because this is personal. I don't want to embarrass my kids and I do have to take that in to consideration. But as long as it is truth and it is God's will, I have to believe I am under His protection.
The enemy has tried desperately to keep me from being open. Fear of what man thinks. But it is that fear of what man thinks that has kept too many abused people, abusers, sinners, etc. etc. from speaking truth and from getting help. There is a difference between outright lying and deciding not to expose a part of your life, but if God says to expose it and you don't, isn't that disobedience? Isn't that a sin? We are as sick as our secrets.
The enemy is the father of lies. If we can't trust the Father of Truth, we are on the wrong side of this war. Every time we tell a lie, the enemy places another chain around us, around our heart. We stand before Jesus wrapped in our own deception and expect He does not see it? He knows what Truth is because He is Truth and He has the key to unlock those chains and set us free. All we have to do is muster up one seed of faith and trust Him. Set an example. As many as we can help, we can hurt. But if we turn it around, then as many as we can hurt, we can help.
“Faith don't come in a bushel basket, Missy. It come one step at a time. Decide to trust Him for one little thing today, and before you know it, you find out He's so trustworthy you be putting your whole life in His hands.”
― Lynn Austin, Candle in the Darkness
― Charles R. Swindoll
For weeks, okay for months, I have been overwhelmed by the deception of others. Why do people lie? You are probably tired of hearing about it. I understand that people sin and have their own personal battles. I sin and have my own personal battles. But lying knocks me over. Why? I have been asking God over and over why He is showing me this. Why is He allowing me to see the deception by people who claim to love and follow Christ?
This morning, I finally got what He is showing me. It is a huge lack of trust in Him. It is a lack of knowing our true identity in Him. We have to step out in faith, but people who lie on a regular basis have no faith. They depend on their own manipulation to get the job done and often times they believe the job is for Him. But they don't trust Him to come through. They don't dare step out in faith. Why is this lesson coming at this time? Because I am editing my story, my book about my life. Transparency, and trusting the Lord with that transparency is crucial for touching the lives of the unbeliever. When I look at people who have been following Christ for over 30 years and who still operate daily on deception, my first thought is "God, what did you do?" Why hasn't He won them over after all this time?
I understand we all deal with doubt and unbelief at times. It is hard to trust, especially if trust has always been an issue in your life. But when a new believer walks through the door and sees a person who is supposedly following Christ but they are lying to get approval or whatever they want, it can turn a newby right around and send them back out the door. Over the last few days, the Lord has been showing me just how damaging lying is to His Kingdom and how angry He is about it. It's not the lack of trust that He despises so much as the lie spawned from that lack of trust.
Transparency in the believer is what draws the unbeliever. Our testimony is so important and if that testimony does not include trust in God, what good is it? I can show you who I really am and trust God to protect me. How many times have we heard another's story and identified with part of it and found freedom in that? If what we are projecting is false belief, how are we to win hearts?
So in editing my story, I have been tempted to delete parts that could set a captive free. Those parts that only another abused person would understand. Why? Not that I want to lie about it, but that I don't want to be embarrassed or judged because this is personal. I don't want to embarrass my kids and I do have to take that in to consideration. But as long as it is truth and it is God's will, I have to believe I am under His protection.
The enemy has tried desperately to keep me from being open. Fear of what man thinks. But it is that fear of what man thinks that has kept too many abused people, abusers, sinners, etc. etc. from speaking truth and from getting help. There is a difference between outright lying and deciding not to expose a part of your life, but if God says to expose it and you don't, isn't that disobedience? Isn't that a sin? We are as sick as our secrets.
The enemy is the father of lies. If we can't trust the Father of Truth, we are on the wrong side of this war. Every time we tell a lie, the enemy places another chain around us, around our heart. We stand before Jesus wrapped in our own deception and expect He does not see it? He knows what Truth is because He is Truth and He has the key to unlock those chains and set us free. All we have to do is muster up one seed of faith and trust Him. Set an example. As many as we can help, we can hurt. But if we turn it around, then as many as we can hurt, we can help.
“Faith don't come in a bushel basket, Missy. It come one step at a time. Decide to trust Him for one little thing today, and before you know it, you find out He's so trustworthy you be putting your whole life in His hands.”
― Lynn Austin, Candle in the Darkness
Friday, January 17, 2014
Love
“We’d avoid a lot of insecurity, if we fully, wholly believed in God’s wild affection for us.”
― Mary E. DeMuth, The Wall Around Your Heart: How Jesus Heals You When Others Hurt You
Truth should not scare us, because it sets us free. It's the lies we have been told all our lives by the enemy that kill, steal and destroy. I have talked to several friends in the last few days who say there are certain people who intimidate them. Some of these people are so secure in who they are to Jesus and in the Kingdom until a certain person or type of person, walks in the room.
As I have been going back and editing my story, getting it ready for publishing, I keep seeing patterns in my history. I tend to choose to get my security from narcissists. People who want to control and who have no interest in my needs, but want to feel good about themselves. They want to control me and my life with no regard for my needs. So, as the Lord is showing me where my insecurity is causing this, every time I choose this type of person, my insecurity grows. The devil has had a plan from day one. I have to break this cycle.
In the last days the Lord has been showing me how important it is to get our identity from Him and Him alone and how that identity needs to be with us at all times, no matter who is in the room and what lies the enemy is spouting. He has shown me in scripture how the last days will be full of false teachers, prophets and such. I tend to see these people as evil. I may be wrong here. They may be rebellious, but what if the rebellion stems from fear. Maybe started in fear, but turned into an intentional rebellion.
So a pastor who is insecure in his identity massages the ears of his congregation so they do not reject him. A prophet gives you a word you want to hear and not from the Lord, so you don't reject them. Maybe what God is saying is believe in me, believe in my love for you or you will become intent on pleasing others with false words. Once you have let that insecurity get a firm hold on your heart, it will grow and truth will escape you.
The greatest commandment is to love the Lord with all you have. And love your neighbor. To love the Lord and be in obedience will grow your trust in Him and extinguish insecurity. To focus on loving Him and allowing Him to love you brings truth - He is truth. We can't speak anything but truth and be in God's will. I think about Samson, lying to Delilah about the secret to his strength. I don't think it was okay with God that he lied about this. I think Samson should have told the truth. That truth should have been NO - I am not going to tell you. Just say no. But instead he lied. A lie is a lie no matter what the purpose. To sugar coat a word from the Lord or make one up, to twist the words of scripture to please your congregation comes from insecurity and a need to control an opinion of you. Truth is so important. Christ is truth - any less than truth and it's a lie and the devil is a liar.
If a person is insecure at all, I suggest they study the love of God. The bible is full of stories and verses on His love for us. The most important thing for us to do is love Him and the cool thing about it, is He fills us with the very love we give back to Him. When you truly know who you are in Him, obedience and loving others comes without effort. What a powerful kingdom it would be if we all knew, really knew how much we are loved.
“If [you] are [a Christian] … you should feel secure and honored that God loves you so much! That knowledge is a joy and a privilege. No one can ever take that from you because no one can ever take you from God!”
― Van Harden, Life in the Purple Wedge!
― Mary E. DeMuth, The Wall Around Your Heart: How Jesus Heals You When Others Hurt You
Truth should not scare us, because it sets us free. It's the lies we have been told all our lives by the enemy that kill, steal and destroy. I have talked to several friends in the last few days who say there are certain people who intimidate them. Some of these people are so secure in who they are to Jesus and in the Kingdom until a certain person or type of person, walks in the room.
As I have been going back and editing my story, getting it ready for publishing, I keep seeing patterns in my history. I tend to choose to get my security from narcissists. People who want to control and who have no interest in my needs, but want to feel good about themselves. They want to control me and my life with no regard for my needs. So, as the Lord is showing me where my insecurity is causing this, every time I choose this type of person, my insecurity grows. The devil has had a plan from day one. I have to break this cycle.
In the last days the Lord has been showing me how important it is to get our identity from Him and Him alone and how that identity needs to be with us at all times, no matter who is in the room and what lies the enemy is spouting. He has shown me in scripture how the last days will be full of false teachers, prophets and such. I tend to see these people as evil. I may be wrong here. They may be rebellious, but what if the rebellion stems from fear. Maybe started in fear, but turned into an intentional rebellion.
So a pastor who is insecure in his identity massages the ears of his congregation so they do not reject him. A prophet gives you a word you want to hear and not from the Lord, so you don't reject them. Maybe what God is saying is believe in me, believe in my love for you or you will become intent on pleasing others with false words. Once you have let that insecurity get a firm hold on your heart, it will grow and truth will escape you.
The greatest commandment is to love the Lord with all you have. And love your neighbor. To love the Lord and be in obedience will grow your trust in Him and extinguish insecurity. To focus on loving Him and allowing Him to love you brings truth - He is truth. We can't speak anything but truth and be in God's will. I think about Samson, lying to Delilah about the secret to his strength. I don't think it was okay with God that he lied about this. I think Samson should have told the truth. That truth should have been NO - I am not going to tell you. Just say no. But instead he lied. A lie is a lie no matter what the purpose. To sugar coat a word from the Lord or make one up, to twist the words of scripture to please your congregation comes from insecurity and a need to control an opinion of you. Truth is so important. Christ is truth - any less than truth and it's a lie and the devil is a liar.
If a person is insecure at all, I suggest they study the love of God. The bible is full of stories and verses on His love for us. The most important thing for us to do is love Him and the cool thing about it, is He fills us with the very love we give back to Him. When you truly know who you are in Him, obedience and loving others comes without effort. What a powerful kingdom it would be if we all knew, really knew how much we are loved.
“If [you] are [a Christian] … you should feel secure and honored that God loves you so much! That knowledge is a joy and a privilege. No one can ever take that from you because no one can ever take you from God!”
― Van Harden, Life in the Purple Wedge!
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