― A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God
I hear so many people crying out for unity, but only one of those made sense to me. A mother wanting unity in her family, a pastor demanding unity in the Church and a ministry school leader also wanting unity in the family of God. The School leader was the only one who made sense and gave me hope, because what he was basically saying is if we are all looking up we will all be one unit following God, even when we don't agree.
The problem with the other two is that they want others to agree with them. They want to play God. Why can't you see it my way? If you disagree with me, shut up about it. There are very few respectable authority figures in this day. I am blessed to have two in my life who I can trust after years of being betrayed by authority figures. Why do I trust these two? Because they do not depend on themselves, they truly depend on God for all the answers and they hear Him. They are humble and admit when they have made a mistake or even when they thought they heard from the Lord and realized it wasn't Him. They don't have Him in a little box with "Open in case of emergency" stamped on the side. He lives in them and they live for Him.
Lately I have seen a lot of unity for really ugly things. Such as riots and some of the crazy laws this country is putting in place. People with only half of the information, believing lies and moving forward without thinking about the future are destroying lives. It's a NOW generation. Immaturity has taken over and "I want it now" is the new theme. God's timing is not popular. I look at the difference between the two leaders I trust and the mother and pastor who want to play God. The ones I trust have been waiting a long time for their dreams, the promises God made them and they keep pressing in and keep believing, great examples for those under them. The other two have both recently pushed through with a decision that I don't believe was God's will and people will be hurt.
Some people want everything to be good so badly they refuse to look at anything that does not line up with their false beliefs. After generations of abuse in a family, those who say let's change it are labeled as controlling troublemakers. People who feel like they have been controlled all their lives will often make poor choices just to be in control or feel like they are in control. The unity needs to be in following Jesus and healing the brokenness.
Yesterday my mother and sister supported my niece in having custody of her two year old baby. My niece has done nothing to change her behavior. They believe because she has been clean of all drugs, except pot, for two months she is a suitable parent. They aren't even considering all the physical abuse and neglect that has already taken place and been admitted. All they are concerned about is that my daughter and I who have been caring for the child for 10 months, do not have control. Was I surprised? No. I saw it coming. They were both abusive and are reacting from their own wounds. They don't have the courage to admit there is a serious problem or the courage to change things. My mother stayed friends with one of my abusers, even placing his picture on her fridge. When I asked how she could do that and expect me to visit with that picture hanging there, she replied, "It's just too uncomfortable to end the friendship." Oh she took the picture down, but the damage has been done. She never even thought about what she was doing. She has exposed us to our abusers repeatedly and when confronted about her behavior her response is "I'm tired of you blaming me."
So yesterday while I was not surprised by her behavior, my daughter was crushed. This baby was returned without any conversation about her likes and dislikes, or having anything familiar around her. She is waking up in a strange place, with strange people, except for her mother who she hadn't seen in 2 months. She has none of her toys, her comforts, her blankets, nothing. Another abandonment, rejected child, but that is what we raise in our family. If I say anything to them, all they do is point out my mistakes instead of uniting to fix the family. All the progress made in 10 months is thrown out the window.
My daughters comment last night said it all. When they cut the trees down in my mother's backyard after years of them standing tall, she cried for days. She hates change. Yet she has no feelings for what a two year old baby is going through being jerked from everything she knows and thrown into a dangerous situation. She is believing the lies of the enemy. Why can't we all just get along and pretend everything is okay? I;m tired of living in the lie. My kids are shocked to find out who their grandmother really is. I have mostly accepted it.
When we demand things go our way, instead of what is right in the Father's eyes, things go wrong and people get hurt. Then in our brokenness, we blame God when we weren't listening to Him and waiting on His timing. We wanted my niece to have her baby back too, but only after getting help for the abuse and neglect. Now, our family is permanently divided. I have forgiven my mother and my sister, but I will never unite with anyone who allows abuse. The behavior hasn't changed in over 40 years. God wants us to put others before ourselves. I have to answer to God. If you care more about some stupid old trees than your own great grandchild's safety, you are broken. Unite with God and you will be healed. Too many people choose to stay in their brokenness, because it is familiar and familiarity is a false comfort sent by the enemy to keep us stuck. Nothing changes until you change something. Truth hurts before it heals.
Exodus 34:6-7New American Standard Bible (NASB)
6 Then the Lord passed by in front of him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord God,compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness and [a]truth;7 who keeps lovingkindness for thousands, who forgives iniquity, transgression and sin; yet He will by no means leave the guilty unpunished, visiting the iniquity of fathers on the children and on the grandchildren to the third and fourth generations.”
Yesterday my mother and sister supported my niece in having custody of her two year old baby. My niece has done nothing to change her behavior. They believe because she has been clean of all drugs, except pot, for two months she is a suitable parent. They aren't even considering all the physical abuse and neglect that has already taken place and been admitted. All they are concerned about is that my daughter and I who have been caring for the child for 10 months, do not have control. Was I surprised? No. I saw it coming. They were both abusive and are reacting from their own wounds. They don't have the courage to admit there is a serious problem or the courage to change things. My mother stayed friends with one of my abusers, even placing his picture on her fridge. When I asked how she could do that and expect me to visit with that picture hanging there, she replied, "It's just too uncomfortable to end the friendship." Oh she took the picture down, but the damage has been done. She never even thought about what she was doing. She has exposed us to our abusers repeatedly and when confronted about her behavior her response is "I'm tired of you blaming me."
So yesterday while I was not surprised by her behavior, my daughter was crushed. This baby was returned without any conversation about her likes and dislikes, or having anything familiar around her. She is waking up in a strange place, with strange people, except for her mother who she hadn't seen in 2 months. She has none of her toys, her comforts, her blankets, nothing. Another abandonment, rejected child, but that is what we raise in our family. If I say anything to them, all they do is point out my mistakes instead of uniting to fix the family. All the progress made in 10 months is thrown out the window.
My daughters comment last night said it all. When they cut the trees down in my mother's backyard after years of them standing tall, she cried for days. She hates change. Yet she has no feelings for what a two year old baby is going through being jerked from everything she knows and thrown into a dangerous situation. She is believing the lies of the enemy. Why can't we all just get along and pretend everything is okay? I;m tired of living in the lie. My kids are shocked to find out who their grandmother really is. I have mostly accepted it.
When we demand things go our way, instead of what is right in the Father's eyes, things go wrong and people get hurt. Then in our brokenness, we blame God when we weren't listening to Him and waiting on His timing. We wanted my niece to have her baby back too, but only after getting help for the abuse and neglect. Now, our family is permanently divided. I have forgiven my mother and my sister, but I will never unite with anyone who allows abuse. The behavior hasn't changed in over 40 years. God wants us to put others before ourselves. I have to answer to God. If you care more about some stupid old trees than your own great grandchild's safety, you are broken. Unite with God and you will be healed. Too many people choose to stay in their brokenness, because it is familiar and familiarity is a false comfort sent by the enemy to keep us stuck. Nothing changes until you change something. Truth hurts before it heals.
Exodus 34:6-7New American Standard Bible (NASB)
6 Then the Lord passed by in front of him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord God,compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness and [a]truth;7 who keeps lovingkindness for thousands, who forgives iniquity, transgression and sin; yet He will by no means leave the guilty unpunished, visiting the iniquity of fathers on the children and on the grandchildren to the third and fourth generations.”
