“We must cease striving and trust God to provide what He thinks is best and in whatever time He chooses to make it available. But this kind of trusting doesn't come naturally. It's a spiritual crisis of the will in which we must choose to exercise faith.”
― Charles R. Swindoll
For weeks, okay for months, I have been overwhelmed by the deception of others. Why do people lie? You are probably tired of hearing about it. I understand that people sin and have their own personal battles. I sin and have my own personal battles. But lying knocks me over. Why? I have been asking God over and over why He is showing me this. Why is He allowing me to see the deception by people who claim to love and follow Christ?
This morning, I finally got what He is showing me. It is a huge lack of trust in Him. It is a lack of knowing our true identity in Him. We have to step out in faith, but people who lie on a regular basis have no faith. They depend on their own manipulation to get the job done and often times they believe the job is for Him. But they don't trust Him to come through. They don't dare step out in faith. Why is this lesson coming at this time? Because I am editing my story, my book about my life. Transparency, and trusting the Lord with that transparency is crucial for touching the lives of the unbeliever. When I look at people who have been following Christ for over 30 years and who still operate daily on deception, my first thought is "God, what did you do?" Why hasn't He won them over after all this time?
I understand we all deal with doubt and unbelief at times. It is hard to trust, especially if trust has always been an issue in your life. But when a new believer walks through the door and sees a person who is supposedly following Christ but they are lying to get approval or whatever they want, it can turn a newby right around and send them back out the door. Over the last few days, the Lord has been showing me just how damaging lying is to His Kingdom and how angry He is about it. It's not the lack of trust that He despises so much as the lie spawned from that lack of trust.
Transparency in the believer is what draws the unbeliever. Our testimony is so important and if that testimony does not include trust in God, what good is it? I can show you who I really am and trust God to protect me. How many times have we heard another's story and identified with part of it and found freedom in that? If what we are projecting is false belief, how are we to win hearts?
So in editing my story, I have been tempted to delete parts that could set a captive free. Those parts that only another abused person would understand. Why? Not that I want to lie about it, but that I don't want to be embarrassed or judged because this is personal. I don't want to embarrass my kids and I do have to take that in to consideration. But as long as it is truth and it is God's will, I have to believe I am under His protection.
The enemy has tried desperately to keep me from being open. Fear of what man thinks. But it is that fear of what man thinks that has kept too many abused people, abusers, sinners, etc. etc. from speaking truth and from getting help. There is a difference between outright lying and deciding not to expose a part of your life, but if God says to expose it and you don't, isn't that disobedience? Isn't that a sin? We are as sick as our secrets.
The enemy is the father of lies. If we can't trust the Father of Truth, we are on the wrong side of this war. Every time we tell a lie, the enemy places another chain around us, around our heart. We stand before Jesus wrapped in our own deception and expect He does not see it? He knows what Truth is because He is Truth and He has the key to unlock those chains and set us free. All we have to do is muster up one seed of faith and trust Him. Set an example. As many as we can help, we can hurt. But if we turn it around, then as many as we can hurt, we can help.
“Faith don't come in a bushel basket, Missy. It come one step at a time. Decide to trust Him for one little thing today, and before you know it, you find out He's so trustworthy you be putting your whole life in His hands.”
― Lynn Austin, Candle in the Darkness
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Friday, January 17, 2014
Love
“We’d avoid a lot of insecurity, if we fully, wholly believed in God’s wild affection for us.”
― Mary E. DeMuth, The Wall Around Your Heart: How Jesus Heals You When Others Hurt You
Truth should not scare us, because it sets us free. It's the lies we have been told all our lives by the enemy that kill, steal and destroy. I have talked to several friends in the last few days who say there are certain people who intimidate them. Some of these people are so secure in who they are to Jesus and in the Kingdom until a certain person or type of person, walks in the room.
As I have been going back and editing my story, getting it ready for publishing, I keep seeing patterns in my history. I tend to choose to get my security from narcissists. People who want to control and who have no interest in my needs, but want to feel good about themselves. They want to control me and my life with no regard for my needs. So, as the Lord is showing me where my insecurity is causing this, every time I choose this type of person, my insecurity grows. The devil has had a plan from day one. I have to break this cycle.
In the last days the Lord has been showing me how important it is to get our identity from Him and Him alone and how that identity needs to be with us at all times, no matter who is in the room and what lies the enemy is spouting. He has shown me in scripture how the last days will be full of false teachers, prophets and such. I tend to see these people as evil. I may be wrong here. They may be rebellious, but what if the rebellion stems from fear. Maybe started in fear, but turned into an intentional rebellion.
So a pastor who is insecure in his identity massages the ears of his congregation so they do not reject him. A prophet gives you a word you want to hear and not from the Lord, so you don't reject them. Maybe what God is saying is believe in me, believe in my love for you or you will become intent on pleasing others with false words. Once you have let that insecurity get a firm hold on your heart, it will grow and truth will escape you.
The greatest commandment is to love the Lord with all you have. And love your neighbor. To love the Lord and be in obedience will grow your trust in Him and extinguish insecurity. To focus on loving Him and allowing Him to love you brings truth - He is truth. We can't speak anything but truth and be in God's will. I think about Samson, lying to Delilah about the secret to his strength. I don't think it was okay with God that he lied about this. I think Samson should have told the truth. That truth should have been NO - I am not going to tell you. Just say no. But instead he lied. A lie is a lie no matter what the purpose. To sugar coat a word from the Lord or make one up, to twist the words of scripture to please your congregation comes from insecurity and a need to control an opinion of you. Truth is so important. Christ is truth - any less than truth and it's a lie and the devil is a liar.
If a person is insecure at all, I suggest they study the love of God. The bible is full of stories and verses on His love for us. The most important thing for us to do is love Him and the cool thing about it, is He fills us with the very love we give back to Him. When you truly know who you are in Him, obedience and loving others comes without effort. What a powerful kingdom it would be if we all knew, really knew how much we are loved.
“If [you] are [a Christian] … you should feel secure and honored that God loves you so much! That knowledge is a joy and a privilege. No one can ever take that from you because no one can ever take you from God!”
― Van Harden, Life in the Purple Wedge!
― Mary E. DeMuth, The Wall Around Your Heart: How Jesus Heals You When Others Hurt You
Truth should not scare us, because it sets us free. It's the lies we have been told all our lives by the enemy that kill, steal and destroy. I have talked to several friends in the last few days who say there are certain people who intimidate them. Some of these people are so secure in who they are to Jesus and in the Kingdom until a certain person or type of person, walks in the room.
As I have been going back and editing my story, getting it ready for publishing, I keep seeing patterns in my history. I tend to choose to get my security from narcissists. People who want to control and who have no interest in my needs, but want to feel good about themselves. They want to control me and my life with no regard for my needs. So, as the Lord is showing me where my insecurity is causing this, every time I choose this type of person, my insecurity grows. The devil has had a plan from day one. I have to break this cycle.
In the last days the Lord has been showing me how important it is to get our identity from Him and Him alone and how that identity needs to be with us at all times, no matter who is in the room and what lies the enemy is spouting. He has shown me in scripture how the last days will be full of false teachers, prophets and such. I tend to see these people as evil. I may be wrong here. They may be rebellious, but what if the rebellion stems from fear. Maybe started in fear, but turned into an intentional rebellion.
So a pastor who is insecure in his identity massages the ears of his congregation so they do not reject him. A prophet gives you a word you want to hear and not from the Lord, so you don't reject them. Maybe what God is saying is believe in me, believe in my love for you or you will become intent on pleasing others with false words. Once you have let that insecurity get a firm hold on your heart, it will grow and truth will escape you.
The greatest commandment is to love the Lord with all you have. And love your neighbor. To love the Lord and be in obedience will grow your trust in Him and extinguish insecurity. To focus on loving Him and allowing Him to love you brings truth - He is truth. We can't speak anything but truth and be in God's will. I think about Samson, lying to Delilah about the secret to his strength. I don't think it was okay with God that he lied about this. I think Samson should have told the truth. That truth should have been NO - I am not going to tell you. Just say no. But instead he lied. A lie is a lie no matter what the purpose. To sugar coat a word from the Lord or make one up, to twist the words of scripture to please your congregation comes from insecurity and a need to control an opinion of you. Truth is so important. Christ is truth - any less than truth and it's a lie and the devil is a liar.
If a person is insecure at all, I suggest they study the love of God. The bible is full of stories and verses on His love for us. The most important thing for us to do is love Him and the cool thing about it, is He fills us with the very love we give back to Him. When you truly know who you are in Him, obedience and loving others comes without effort. What a powerful kingdom it would be if we all knew, really knew how much we are loved.
“If [you] are [a Christian] … you should feel secure and honored that God loves you so much! That knowledge is a joy and a privilege. No one can ever take that from you because no one can ever take you from God!”
― Van Harden, Life in the Purple Wedge!
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Man or God?
“On some positions, cowardice asks the question, is it expedient? And then expedience comes along and asks the question, is it politic? Vanity asks the question, is it popular? Conscience asks the question, is it right?
There comes a time when one must take the position that is neither safe nor politic nor popular, but he must do it because conscience tells him it is right.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.
The conversation lately bounces back and forth between truth and motive. Truly following Christ is not an easy thing to do and I am seeing this more clearly all the time. When He asks us to do something, often times, our first thought is "What will people think?" He is concerned with what people think, but it's not about whether they are in agreement with us or not. It's about where that thinking will take them. Will it eventually be for the good?
I have been in battle the last couple weeks as the Lord has asked me to do something, that I know (okay believe) will be taken the wrong way. The minute I open my mouth to speak about this fear with the Lord, He asks me, Are you worried about what men think or what I think?" Is it about pleasing man or pleasing God.
I feel like I have been in a battle for my life over the last two and half years. I am tired. I want peace. The only way I can even touch on peace is to stay in His will. This doesn't mean things will be easy, but there will be peace. Even when it hurts.
I have learned a lot about perspective in the last weeks. There is my truth, there is your truth and there is His truth. His truth seems to run deeper and affect more and in different ways.
Through all this, I have found that I am actually falling in love with Him. I told God, I fight doubt too much to be your messenger. He said, "You doubt yourself, but you don't doubt me." Wow. Isn't that the truth? I know that I know, He will always be with me. His way will always be the best and only way.
The other morning I woke from a strange dream. The dream was a can opener. That's it. All there was. Just a picture of a can opener. What does that mean God.? It has to be You, because I do not dream of can openers. My first thought? Are you having me open a can of worms or a can of whoop-ass? Then He explained. What do we usually open with a can opener? Cans of food. Provision. He said, "You know when you clip that can opener on that can that you will find food." He was assuring me that when he provides the can opener and He points out the can, no matter what is in it, worms or whoop-ass, He will provide. He provides all we need to do what He asks us to do.
The Lord has pointed out a very important man for me to watch. Jeremiah, the prophet. When I can't handle life another second, I watch the movie about Jeremiah for my entertainment. This poor guy, spoke truth, he warned the king and the people, and they laughed at him, put him in prison, tortured him and he still cried for them. As Jerusalem fell and the king was captured, I can only imagine what pain was in Jeremiah's heart. Just like when your kids are little and you warn them and they do it anyway and you watch them hurt. Your own heart bleeds almost more than theirs at times.
To watch somebody fall, to watch them implode, is excruciatingly painful. To watch a man drown while Jesus is holding out His hand to Him, but He is in too much of a panic to reach for it rips my heart apart. I believe I have a good idea of what Jeremiah went through that day. I think of the king and also Samson, when the Lord took His hand of protection off them and they were turned over to the enemy, the enemy took their sight. They could no longer see. The enemy had control. At that point you pray their ears for God become more sensitive.
Lord, please, don't ever hide your voice from me. Remind me often of the darkness I choked on alone in the night and how your light, led me out. Guard my heart from the arrogance that causes your presence to fade from me. Refresh me in the very palm of your hand and may that hand be the only platform I speak from, that I fight from. Tuck my small heart into Yours where lies cannot penetrate it and where truth causes it to beat in time with Yours. May it never become hard causing tears for others to dry up and my mouth to be sealed, never to speak your words of comfort to the hurting. May the pain of rejection always be fresh in my mind so I may have empathy for those who fear loneliness. May I always find comfort in Your voice, even when convicted. Lord, may the sound of Your voice always penetrate any walls I construct around my heart and draw me back to You. And may I never be ashamed of the tears that I cry for your children. May my fleshly needs never outweigh the need I have for You.
“You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you.”
― C.S. Lewis
There comes a time when one must take the position that is neither safe nor politic nor popular, but he must do it because conscience tells him it is right.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.
The conversation lately bounces back and forth between truth and motive. Truly following Christ is not an easy thing to do and I am seeing this more clearly all the time. When He asks us to do something, often times, our first thought is "What will people think?" He is concerned with what people think, but it's not about whether they are in agreement with us or not. It's about where that thinking will take them. Will it eventually be for the good?
I have been in battle the last couple weeks as the Lord has asked me to do something, that I know (okay believe) will be taken the wrong way. The minute I open my mouth to speak about this fear with the Lord, He asks me, Are you worried about what men think or what I think?" Is it about pleasing man or pleasing God.
I feel like I have been in a battle for my life over the last two and half years. I am tired. I want peace. The only way I can even touch on peace is to stay in His will. This doesn't mean things will be easy, but there will be peace. Even when it hurts.
I have learned a lot about perspective in the last weeks. There is my truth, there is your truth and there is His truth. His truth seems to run deeper and affect more and in different ways.
Through all this, I have found that I am actually falling in love with Him. I told God, I fight doubt too much to be your messenger. He said, "You doubt yourself, but you don't doubt me." Wow. Isn't that the truth? I know that I know, He will always be with me. His way will always be the best and only way.
The other morning I woke from a strange dream. The dream was a can opener. That's it. All there was. Just a picture of a can opener. What does that mean God.? It has to be You, because I do not dream of can openers. My first thought? Are you having me open a can of worms or a can of whoop-ass? Then He explained. What do we usually open with a can opener? Cans of food. Provision. He said, "You know when you clip that can opener on that can that you will find food." He was assuring me that when he provides the can opener and He points out the can, no matter what is in it, worms or whoop-ass, He will provide. He provides all we need to do what He asks us to do.
The Lord has pointed out a very important man for me to watch. Jeremiah, the prophet. When I can't handle life another second, I watch the movie about Jeremiah for my entertainment. This poor guy, spoke truth, he warned the king and the people, and they laughed at him, put him in prison, tortured him and he still cried for them. As Jerusalem fell and the king was captured, I can only imagine what pain was in Jeremiah's heart. Just like when your kids are little and you warn them and they do it anyway and you watch them hurt. Your own heart bleeds almost more than theirs at times.
To watch somebody fall, to watch them implode, is excruciatingly painful. To watch a man drown while Jesus is holding out His hand to Him, but He is in too much of a panic to reach for it rips my heart apart. I believe I have a good idea of what Jeremiah went through that day. I think of the king and also Samson, when the Lord took His hand of protection off them and they were turned over to the enemy, the enemy took their sight. They could no longer see. The enemy had control. At that point you pray their ears for God become more sensitive.
Lord, please, don't ever hide your voice from me. Remind me often of the darkness I choked on alone in the night and how your light, led me out. Guard my heart from the arrogance that causes your presence to fade from me. Refresh me in the very palm of your hand and may that hand be the only platform I speak from, that I fight from. Tuck my small heart into Yours where lies cannot penetrate it and where truth causes it to beat in time with Yours. May it never become hard causing tears for others to dry up and my mouth to be sealed, never to speak your words of comfort to the hurting. May the pain of rejection always be fresh in my mind so I may have empathy for those who fear loneliness. May I always find comfort in Your voice, even when convicted. Lord, may the sound of Your voice always penetrate any walls I construct around my heart and draw me back to You. And may I never be ashamed of the tears that I cry for your children. May my fleshly needs never outweigh the need I have for You.
“You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you.”
― C.S. Lewis
Thursday, January 2, 2014
How much Truth?
"The most perfidious way of harming a cause consists of defending it deliberately with faulty arguments.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
How much truth does it take to please God? Over the last months it seems God is highlighting in a neon yellow every white lie being told around me. I would guess this is a lesson for me. I have been accused of being too honest at times. Can a person be too honest? If you don't want to know if your butt looks big, don't ask me.
The most difficult lie to call BS on is one of motive. We don't know what is in another's heart. How can we even question motives? Some lie out of being misled by others. Some lie out of interpretation of what they heard or saw and that is not really a lie. It is their truth. Maybe one's truth is not truth to another. Possibly, it's a bad memory that causes a lie.
But what to do when you know it is a lie, a deliberate untruth? When do we call it out and when do we let it go? If I hear a person lie more than once, I struggle to believe anything they say. If they give me a word from God, I don't believe it. Because the only reason to lie is to manipulate another's thinking. Usually it is to please man so they don't see who we truly are. Or it is to get what we want. Lying is selfish and manipulating.
We have to ask God if He is showing us these things for us to call it out, to check ourselves, or to see the brokenness in a person and to pray healing. My issue with it, is that my life, the life of an abused person is usually full of lies and secrets and I get a really bad taste in my mouth. Do I think it is possible for us to be 100% truthful all the time? Not really. But is it intentional or is it as simple as saying "I am fine" when we are not? That seems to be an acceptable lie.
I believe there are two kinds of intentional liars. The one who wants to have control of a situation or people and the one who only has the intention of controlling the other's perception of who they are. Both of these are caused by insecurity. The need to control is out off fear, whether it's controlling a situation or controlling a perception.
Maybe this is why lies hurt. If you lie to me it is because you don't trust me to care about you if I know the truth. And obviously you don't trust God. To not trust God, I believe, is caused by not knowing your identity in Him. What has He spoken to me when I hear somebody has told a lie about me? You worry about your integrity and let Him worry about your reputation. This is really difficult at times. The Lord has repeatedly told me not to defend myself. That is a hard habit to break. To me this is the ultimate test of my trust in Him. Especially when He tells me, to follow Him, I will be hated. I have gotten a good taste of that.
So, how do you handle a person who lies? Exactly how God tells you to handle that person. It may be different than the last one. He may have you confront and He may have you be quiet. They know they are lying so to point it out seems pointless. What is the real problem with being in a relationship with a liar? You don't really know who they are. God does. We are to trust Him. He does not lie. Ever.
“I am afraid to show you who I really am, because if I show you who I really am, you might not like it--and that's all I got.”
― Sabrina Ward Harrison
― Friedrich Nietzsche
How much truth does it take to please God? Over the last months it seems God is highlighting in a neon yellow every white lie being told around me. I would guess this is a lesson for me. I have been accused of being too honest at times. Can a person be too honest? If you don't want to know if your butt looks big, don't ask me.
The most difficult lie to call BS on is one of motive. We don't know what is in another's heart. How can we even question motives? Some lie out of being misled by others. Some lie out of interpretation of what they heard or saw and that is not really a lie. It is their truth. Maybe one's truth is not truth to another. Possibly, it's a bad memory that causes a lie.
But what to do when you know it is a lie, a deliberate untruth? When do we call it out and when do we let it go? If I hear a person lie more than once, I struggle to believe anything they say. If they give me a word from God, I don't believe it. Because the only reason to lie is to manipulate another's thinking. Usually it is to please man so they don't see who we truly are. Or it is to get what we want. Lying is selfish and manipulating.
We have to ask God if He is showing us these things for us to call it out, to check ourselves, or to see the brokenness in a person and to pray healing. My issue with it, is that my life, the life of an abused person is usually full of lies and secrets and I get a really bad taste in my mouth. Do I think it is possible for us to be 100% truthful all the time? Not really. But is it intentional or is it as simple as saying "I am fine" when we are not? That seems to be an acceptable lie.
I believe there are two kinds of intentional liars. The one who wants to have control of a situation or people and the one who only has the intention of controlling the other's perception of who they are. Both of these are caused by insecurity. The need to control is out off fear, whether it's controlling a situation or controlling a perception.
Maybe this is why lies hurt. If you lie to me it is because you don't trust me to care about you if I know the truth. And obviously you don't trust God. To not trust God, I believe, is caused by not knowing your identity in Him. What has He spoken to me when I hear somebody has told a lie about me? You worry about your integrity and let Him worry about your reputation. This is really difficult at times. The Lord has repeatedly told me not to defend myself. That is a hard habit to break. To me this is the ultimate test of my trust in Him. Especially when He tells me, to follow Him, I will be hated. I have gotten a good taste of that.
So, how do you handle a person who lies? Exactly how God tells you to handle that person. It may be different than the last one. He may have you confront and He may have you be quiet. They know they are lying so to point it out seems pointless. What is the real problem with being in a relationship with a liar? You don't really know who they are. God does. We are to trust Him. He does not lie. Ever.
“I am afraid to show you who I really am, because if I show you who I really am, you might not like it--and that's all I got.”
― Sabrina Ward Harrison
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