“On some positions, cowardice asks the question, is it expedient? And then expedience comes along and asks the question, is it politic? Vanity asks the question, is it popular? Conscience asks the question, is it right?
There comes a time when one must take the position that is neither safe nor politic nor popular, but he must do it because conscience tells him it is right.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.
The conversation lately bounces back and forth between truth and motive. Truly following Christ is not an easy thing to do and I am seeing this more clearly all the time. When He asks us to do something, often times, our first thought is "What will people think?" He is concerned with what people think, but it's not about whether they are in agreement with us or not. It's about where that thinking will take them. Will it eventually be for the good?
I have been in battle the last couple weeks as the Lord has asked me to do something, that I know (okay believe) will be taken the wrong way. The minute I open my mouth to speak about this fear with the Lord, He asks me, Are you worried about what men think or what I think?" Is it about pleasing man or pleasing God.
I feel like I have been in a battle for my life over the last two and half years. I am tired. I want peace. The only way I can even touch on peace is to stay in His will. This doesn't mean things will be easy, but there will be peace. Even when it hurts.
I have learned a lot about perspective in the last weeks. There is my truth, there is your truth and there is His truth. His truth seems to run deeper and affect more and in different ways.
Through all this, I have found that I am actually falling in love with Him. I told God, I fight doubt too much to be your messenger. He said, "You doubt yourself, but you don't doubt me." Wow. Isn't that the truth? I know that I know, He will always be with me. His way will always be the best and only way.
The other morning I woke from a strange dream. The dream was a can opener. That's it. All there was. Just a picture of a can opener. What does that mean God.? It has to be You, because I do not dream of can openers. My first thought? Are you having me open a can of worms or a can of whoop-ass? Then He explained. What do we usually open with a can opener? Cans of food. Provision. He said, "You know when you clip that can opener on that can that you will find food." He was assuring me that when he provides the can opener and He points out the can, no matter what is in it, worms or whoop-ass, He will provide. He provides all we need to do what He asks us to do.
The Lord has pointed out a very important man for me to watch. Jeremiah, the prophet. When I can't handle life another second, I watch the movie about Jeremiah for my entertainment. This poor guy, spoke truth, he warned the king and the people, and they laughed at him, put him in prison, tortured him and he still cried for them. As Jerusalem fell and the king was captured, I can only imagine what pain was in Jeremiah's heart. Just like when your kids are little and you warn them and they do it anyway and you watch them hurt. Your own heart bleeds almost more than theirs at times.
To watch somebody fall, to watch them implode, is excruciatingly painful. To watch a man drown while Jesus is holding out His hand to Him, but He is in too much of a panic to reach for it rips my heart apart. I believe I have a good idea of what Jeremiah went through that day. I think of the king and also Samson, when the Lord took His hand of protection off them and they were turned over to the enemy, the enemy took their sight. They could no longer see. The enemy had control. At that point you pray their ears for God become more sensitive.
Lord, please, don't ever hide your voice from me. Remind me often of the darkness I choked on alone in the night and how your light, led me out. Guard my heart from the arrogance that causes your presence to fade from me. Refresh me in the very palm of your hand and may that hand be the only platform I speak from, that I fight from. Tuck my small heart into Yours where lies cannot penetrate it and where truth causes it to beat in time with Yours. May it never become hard causing tears for others to dry up and my mouth to be sealed, never to speak your words of comfort to the hurting. May the pain of rejection always be fresh in my mind so I may have empathy for those who fear loneliness. May I always find comfort in Your voice, even when convicted. Lord, may the sound of Your voice always penetrate any walls I construct around my heart and draw me back to You. And may I never be ashamed of the tears that I cry for your children. May my fleshly needs never outweigh the need I have for You.
“You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you.”
― C.S. Lewis
No comments:
Post a Comment