Lazy Boy?

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
― C.S. Lewis


     You know those days when you have worked very hard and your brain hurts?  You finish dinner, your belly is full, you slip into your jammie pants and climb into your Lazy Boy to watch some mindless program on TV.  Ah, The Amazing Race.  You get to sit comfortably and watch the contestants scramble and strain for awhile.  God is good, isn't He?  You decide all the worries can wait until tomorrow, because you have worked hard and you deserve this rest and relaxation.
    You watch one kid struggle with homework, your spouse tinker with their hobby and the family pet sits at your feet.  Do we pay enough attention to these times?  Or do we pay too much attention to these times?  While you're sitting there relaxing and thanking God for all you have, remember a church bus blew up in Iraq today.  A Vietnamese pastor was beaten for spreading the word of Jesus Christ to small villages in that country.  Children are being sold this very minute to have sex with grown men.  Black members were denied a wedding at their church because white members "pitched a fit".  Mother of 7 suffers complications after forced sterilization in China. 
     So, you say to yourself, "I deserve this rest."  Didn't you sit in that same Lazy Boy last night and eat chips?  Here's the deal. 

Matthew 19:23-25  New International Version (NIV)

²³ Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. ²⁴ Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”


     You say, "I'm not rich.  I barely made my car payment this month.  We have had to cut back on dining out.  My child had to change schools to save money.  We live paycheck to paycheck."  There are 6.7 billion people on the planet today and the average income is $7000.00  Think about this.  If you have access to a computer to read this, you probably make well over $7000.00 annually.  You just may be that rich man the Lord was talking about.  It makes sense, doesn't it?  As you sit in your Lazy Boy night after night while people scrounge for meals and risk their lives for God. 

     What can I do?   There is plenty you can do.  First pray about it.  God will lead you.  This is what He wants.

Matthew 19:16-30  New International Version (NIV)

The Rich and the Kingdom of God

¹⁶ Just then a man came up to Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life ?”
¹⁷ “Why do you ask me about what is good?” Jesus replied. “There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments.”
¹⁸ “Which ones?” he inquired.
Jesus replied, “‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, ¹⁹ honor your father and mother,’^[a] and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’^[b]”
²⁰ “All these I have kept,” the young man said. “What do I still lack?”
²¹ Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
²² When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.
²³ Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. ²⁴ Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”
²⁵ When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, “Who then can be saved?”
²⁶ Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
²⁷ Peter answered him, “We have left everything to follow you! What then will there be for us?”
²⁸ Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. ²⁹ And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife^[c] or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. ³⁰ But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.

Here are a few organizations that do great things.  Look them up and read about them

International Justice Mission

The Voice of the Martyrs - USA
Hope4Justice

Your local church has programs for people in need.  Feed the poor and the widows.  Do a favor for a single parent.  God can take what you have with a snap of His finger.  It doesn't belong to you anyway, it belongs to Him.  As a bonus, you will feel better about yourself.  Your faith will grow and so will your love for God.  We're a family.  Would you let your own family suffer?

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

The Story

“We all pretend for a while or for a lifetime. But pretending is not living...I believe that God meant for life to take our breath away, sometimes because of the sheer joy of it all and sometimes because of the severe pain. To choose living over pretending means that we will know both.” 
― Angela Thomas


     I didn't fall asleep until after 11 and I was awake at 2am.  I have always had periods of time when I just can't sleep and for a long time I believed it was demons.  They kept me weak, by keeping me tired.  Lately, I think it's God.  When I'm tired I have less resistance to hearing Him.  I know there is something I am supposed to be hearing from Him lately that is not clear.  
     Because I am tired, I can speak on a subject I don't like to talk about.  Relationships.  I heard a woman talking this morning about a book she had written.  I had no interest until something she said, but I don't remember what that was.  I purchased the audio book and went to work at 3:30.  When I began to listen, I became frustrated because it was not for me.  It was about the deep desire all women supposedly have to be adored by somebody.  I finished the book anyway, because it turned out to be more about the relationship we want with God.  
     I went on to listen to a book by Francis Chan, called Crazy Love.  It too was about our relationship with Christ and he told a story that made me laugh out loud.  The story was about an extra on a movie set.  This person was one of many in a crowd and you only saw the back of their head for a few seconds.  This person was so thrilled to be in this movie, they rented a theater and filled it with friends, family and even acquaintance's so they could all see the split second shot of the back of the head.  By the way this person acted, you would think the movie was all about them.  The author went on to say how we all see our lives this way.  As big as the universe is and as long as eternity lasts, our life is but a second in this whole movie.  Who is the real star?  This story is really about God. One of the most gripping scenes is about God sacrificing His only son.  We play such a small part in this magnificent story.  We are playing a supporting role and our goal is to make the star shine brighter.
     He also mentioned the questions we ask God.  Why are small children starving?  Why can't I meet the right person to be my spouse?  What if God turns those questions around on us?  Why are there children starving on this planet when we have access to all He has to offer?  Why aren't we feeding them?  The spouse thing?  Are you waiting for the one He has for you or jumping from one relationship to another looking, searching, frustrated?  I loved this guy's book until he began talking about whether or not lukewarm Christians are really saved.  I then got sick to my stomach and shut it off.
     I thought it was interesting that I would first listen to a book about how God adores us.  How special each of us is to Him.  How no one can love us the way He does.  No one can fill that hole in our heart, but Him.  Then I went on to read abut how small our part is in the whole story.  Knowing how small I am, actually made His love for me bigger.


     I would recommend the book "Do You Think I'm Beautiful" by Angela Thomas to every believing woman, especially if your relationship with your father was anything less than perfect.  I actually go a lot out of it.  Enough to start another book by the same author "Do you know who I am - and other brave questions women ask?"  
     We all want to be completely known and loved anyway.  I think this goes for both men and women.  It's scary to let one person know all your little secrets you've been carrying around your whole life.  Not just what was done to you, but what you have done to others and mostly, the feelings associated with the secrets.  When you do something you know was wrong, but still get a smile on your face when you think about it, because you got even.  When you have convinced yourself you were never scared, but the fear still chokes you when you tell the story.  I find it most difficult to say, "That hurt."  This is what God wants to look at in my life.  I have gone through the motions of working on all this stuff, like God, Dave and I were working on a project.  We were just making a plan and executing it.  When I finally felt like I had been through the worst of it, God says, "How did that feel?"  I want to shut off the power and go home.  Maybe pull a little Carole Burnett, "I'm glad we've had this time together, just to have a laugh and sing a song, but if you want to talk about my feelings, well, your time with me won't last that long.  Goodnight everybody.  God bless you!"

“Do you really love me? means, Will you accept me in process? Will you embrace what is different about me and applaud my efforts to become? Can I just be human---strong an vibrant some days, weak and frail on others?...Will you love me even when I disappoint you?...” 
― Angela Thomas, Do You Think I'm Beautiful? the Question Every Woman Asks

Hearing God Through a Dream

“Few people arise in the morning as hungry for God as they are for cornflakes or toast and eggs.” 
― Dallas Willard, Hearing God: Developing a Conversational Relationship with God

     Dave has been speaking on the many ways we hear from God.  Through his teaching I realized there are ways I hear from God that I have not been giving full credit to God, but believing I have some sort of sense about people.  One way I like to hear from God is through dreams, but it can be confusing.  I think part of the reason I enjoy this means of communication is that there is a little puzzle solving on my part.  There have been several times I have asked Him to speak to me in my dreams and I wake thinking, "That was a weird dream, but why didn't God talk to me."  The more I think about it, the more I realize He has.

     I have been feeling disconnected, like I am missing something lately.  I want to walk away some days and just be a Sunday morning Christian, because this life can be difficult and draining at times.  But last night God kept giving me words. Just words.  The first thing He said was "prophetic word".  I had picked up my book and sat down to read.  My first thought was that I had read those words on the cover of my book, but I couldn't find them any where.  I knew God had said them.  Soon He gave me the word "lion".  Immediately I thought of the enemy moving about as a lion. As the night went on I asked for more and got more, but at the same time demons were confusing me.  I could sense the difference and finally asked God to make it clear in my dreams.  I also asked Him to keep any demonic influence from interrupting my sleep and my dreams.

     This morning I woke, believing I had had a strange dream and God had not talked to me, but then I realized He had and it was very interesting.  In my dream I lived in the house I grew up in, but it was mine.  There was a man there to repair the phones and he said to me, "Do you hear all that interference?  There is something interfering with the signal."  I walked into the kitchen and found something like a surge protector box near the stove.  There was a cord with 220 and a cord with 110 running from the box.  Neither cord was completely plugged in.  There were sparks flying every where.  My first thought was to somehow plug them in all the way, but then my thought was to flip the switch on the box and completely shut off the power.  This was for my safety.

     Throughout the day with guidance from God, I have discovered the meaning.  The 220 line represents the power, teaching, wisdom, etc that I get from God.  The 110 represents the teaching and guidance I get from Dave.  I haven't been completely plugged in to either relationship the last few days.  I have wanted to shut off the box for my safety and run away.  I believe the fact that I lived in the house I grew up in represents that the issue affecting my ability to be plugged in has been around for a long time, most of my life.  Communication with God and with Dave has not been good the last few days.  There has been interference in both relationships.  I like to blame them.  It's easier to believe they have somehow walked away from me.

     I finally asked God to tell me what it is.  What is keeping me from being completely plugged in?  Through things I have read and sermons I listened to today, I realized it is trust.  Every time I take a step forward and move to a deeper level in relationship, I tend to follow it with a huge step back.  Fear and lack of trust.  Some days I want to close the door on God and Dave and I want to go some where far away.  

     God has also asked me what I want.  Do I want to have a deeper relationship with Him?  It's like planning a road trip.  Yes, I have decided I want to go from where I am at, to the deepest relationship I can have with Him.  Trust is a huge part of that road trip.  First, He plans the route and second, He drives.  There shouldn't be that much to sitting in the passenger seat and holding on.  But then I find God has me climbing into the back seat to dig up "crappage" from the past that He wants to examine (taking His eyes off the road).  He tends to take corners faster than I am comfortable with.  When I want Him to drive fast over the bridges, because of my fear, He slows to a crawl pointing out the distance from us to the raging water below.  Riding with God is no Sunday afternoon cruise through the park.  I have been tempted to throw open the door and tuck and roll.  There are perma-prints in the dash where I have held on for dear life.  My knuckles are perma-white.  Trust?  I have never been a very good passenger.

     Then there is Dave who is laughing as he points out the "Oh crap" handles above the door and reminds me that I don't need a seat belt when God is driving.  I'm supposed to trust these two?  Some days I just climb in the backseat and pull a blanket over my head.  Napping is out of the question though as my head slams against the door.  I'm trying to work on serious issues right now while the music is blaring and the wheels are coming off the ground.  They who say being a Christian is boring have never gotten in the car with God behind the wheel.  But if you want to go from here to there you can't tuck and roll out of the car.  Trust.

“Our failure to hear His voice when we want to is due to the fact that we do not in general want to hear it, that we want it only when we think we need it.” 
― Dallas Willard, Hearing God: Developing a Conversational Relationship with God

Judgment

Luke 6:36-38

New International Version (NIV)

³⁶ Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

Judging Others

³⁷ “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. ³⁸ Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

     In the book I am reading now, Graham Cooke states, "In our thinking we must focus on mercy and grace or we will be mentally judging others."  I think one of the most important points in loving others is seeing them through the eyes of Jesus.  It's easier to do with those who are close to us and those we care for, but even then it is too easy to judge.  The enemy points out the shortcomings and character defects of others to affect our ability to love them.  I have noticed when I get around certain people I fall right into the gossip and judging and walk away angry at myself every time.  I genuinely love people because I see us all in our own battle, and I don't know for sure why it is so easy for me to fall into judgement.  I have decided to stay away from people who habitually judge until I can break that habit.  I have seen a lot of improvement since I realized something about those judgemental people.  They generally don't love others.  They also love conditionally.  Now it sounds like I am judging again, but what I am trying to do is look into a mirror to reveal my own shortcomings so I can change me.  I don't want to be judged by others.  In fact many times when I hear what somebody has said about me, which happens more often than I like, my first first thoughts are usually something like, "If they only knew why I ...."  If you don't know all the circumstances in a persons life you can't hardly understand their decision making.  It's better not to judge at all.  Love only.
     One judgement that drives me absolutely crazy, is when I hear somebody say, "They need to get over it."  Most of the time the person talking has never been through the situation the other is dealing with or if they have, they have never truly dealt with their feelings and/or healed.  
     Jesus said "You without sin cast the first stone."  We should be humble.  We should not constantly beat ourselves up for being sinners, but we need to realize that we all sin.  Pride is a big issue in growing in Christ.  I have had God tell me to do things and I have had to stop immediately and pray about pride.  Am I doing this because I want the recognition?  Am I doing this because I want people to know God talks to me?  Or am I doing this because it is God's will and I want to please Him?  The closer I get to Him, the less I find myself questioning His will.  I do confirm it is Him I am hearing.
     As much as I have made wrong choices in my life and as many mistakes as   I have had to ask forgiveness for, I find it easier all the time to surrender complete control over my life.  I used to say that I wanted somebody to come in every morning and tell me what to wear, do my hair and tell me where I was going.  I had made such a mess it would be easier to be led around by the nose and not have to make any decisions.  Maybe this is why it is easier than I thought it would be to let God run my life.  I have no idea where He is taking me or if my whole life is going to be totally changed tomorrow, but I don't care either.  He knows what He is doing and I do not.
     Not only is every person going through their own battle, but every person is always being taught.  God is constantly teaching us to draw us closer to Him.  It is up to us how willing we are to hear Him and to learn and grow.  I've always said it seems like God waits until I say, "I can't stand this another minute" then He leaves me in it for another minute or two before He responds to my prayer request.  It's the battles, the pain and the suffering we learn through.  If God were to respond to our prayers immediately every time we prayed for deliverance, what kind of faith would we have?  We would be like spoiled children expecting to be bailed out.  We would probably find ourselves behaving worse all the time, because God would bail us out.  He doesn't do this.  It's those moments between, when we think we can't go on another second and his answers to our prayer that we learn the most, we develop  a deeper faith and we move closer to Him.
     You may judge a person who smokes or tells little white lies or is full of pride, but you don't know what battle they are fighting with the enemy or what lesson they are learning from God.  Be a relief.  Show love.  Your kindness may give them the strength they need to complete the battle or the teaching.  You may need the strength through kindness one day.


I have shared a link to a video representing the battle
     
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle" - John Watson (Pen name, Ian Maclaren)

Pain

“Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”
― C.S. Lewis


     There is so much pain in this world. Some days I find it hard to get out of bed when I think about all the people who are hurting every day. From broken hearts to broken bones, From the severe blow to the chronic pain. Migraines, break ups, injuries to the body, heart and soul, pain is every where and everyone has felt it. Once a person has become a parent they realize the willingness to suffer for another like never before. But what is more difficult, to be in pain or to see someone you love in pain. We ask God over and over throughout our lives, why? Why does He allow the pain? We seldom think about the fact that He suffers with us. He feels our pain. If you are a parent you should understand this. We allow our children, or we should allow our children to suffer through pain at times to learn and to grow.

1 Peter 4:12-13
New International Version (NIV)

Suffering for Being a Christian
12 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.
     

     He doesn't always tell us why. There are painful times of suffering that will not be explained to us until we are with Him in Heaven. Think about what you do as a parent when you see your child suffer. You may cry with them. You may comfort them, unless they need to feel the whole pain. But you always hurt with them. Your heart always feels for them, even if it is a lesson they must learn. If it is a lesson, you watch them to see how they react. Is the lesson being learned or is bitterness taking root?

Judges 6:13
New International Version (NIV)
13 “Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our ancestors told us about when they said, ‘Did not the Lord bring us up out of Egypt?’ But now the Lord has abandoned us and given us into the hand of Midian.”

Job 3:24-26
New International Version (NIV)
24 For sighing has become my daily food;
my groans pour out like water.
25 What I feared has come upon me;
what I dreaded has happened to me.
26 I have no peace, no quietness;
I have no rest, but only turmoil.”

     We hang on to hope. Trust that He loves us. Have faith there is a purpose.


Matthew 26:38-41
New International Version (NIV)
38 Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”
39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”
40 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping.“Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. 41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

     All pain has purpose or He wouldn't allow us to go through it. It is for His glory. Our growth, maturity and wisdom, our good times and bad all have purpose. He chose what we would face and it is much easier to feel abandoned and unloved than to think He would allow pain for a good reason, but Jesus suffered through pain like none of us will. He did it willingly, He did it publicly, He did it without crying out or accusations. He suffered through it for us. Will we do it for Him? Jesus is proof that the greater the pain, the greater the purpose. He kept His eyes on the Father and did it for the future. The greater the pain, the greater the compliment. God trusts you with that pain.  

“As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways in which I could respond to my situation -- either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.

Wolf or Sheep?

A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history.
Mohandas Gandhi quotes

    Small town USA hired a new police chief. Paul walked into the station to find all the officers on duty drinking coffee, eating doughnuts and playing cards. After introducing himself to the officers he asked, "Who's out patrolling the streets?"
      John spoke up, "We don't patrol anymore."
     "You mean for the day?"
     "No. I mean we don't patrol at all."
     "You just wait for calls?"
     "Not exactly. We gave up our radios and had the phones turned off."
     "You are kidding me, right?"
     "No. Have you seen how dangerous it is out there?"
     "Yes I have. That's why you need to be out there. You are the police force."
     "I really don't like the idea of putting my life on the line for a bunch of strangers."
     Paul looked around at the out of shape group as a few of them nodded in agreement and a couple of them had nodded off to sleep. "Who decided this was how this place was going to operate?"
     "The chief."
     "The man I am replacing?"
     "Yes. He was a good guy. He got us all raises, better insurance and a couple more vacation days. I'm not sure why they got rid of him. They really messed up."
     Paul stood for a few minutes trying to absorb what he was seeing and hearing. He decided to call the mayor, "Where's my office?"
     John jumped up, "I'll show you." He led Paul to a large room in the back of the station. He pushed open the door, "This is your office, where the real fun happens."
     Paul saw the room was extremely large with a pool table and questionable pictures on the wall. "Are you kidding me?"
     "No. Great huh?"
     "No. This is not great. This is not what being a police officer is all about. We are supposed to be protecting people, saving lives, and making this town a better place, not focusing on our own wants all the time. We are supposed to be out there on the streets." Paul walked into the office and slammed the door behind him preventing John from following him inside. He paced, he shook his head, he called his wife. She always knew how to calm him. He then called the mayor. The mayor agreed to come down and called in every officer on the force to meet him at the station.
     When they had all gathered Paul spoke, "You are law enforcement for this town and you will uphold the law. You are the good guy. You will be out there on the street spreading goodness and protection. Police officers take risks and suffer inconveniences to protect the lives, defend civil liberties, secure the safety of fellow citizens, and they endure such risks and tolerate such inconveniences on behalf of strangers. Consequently, police work is one of the more noble and selfless occupations in society. Making a difference in the quality of life is an opportunity that policing provides, and few other professions can offer." He handed out a copy of the law enforcement oath of honor. "You will each take this oath today."
       After reading through his copy John asked, "What if we don't agree with this whole idea?"
      "Then you have to ask yourself if you are truly a police officer. You have been given the tools, training, and uniform. Do you want the job? Will you make the sacrifices police officers make?"
     John wouldn't look up at him, so Paul turned to the mayor, "I think it's time you tell them why the police chief was fired."
     "Embezzlement. He was a criminal in a police officers uniform. A wolf in sheep's clothing."
     Paul said, "Before you take this oath, I want to go over a few definitions.

Honor means that one's word is given as a guarantee.
Betray is defined as breaking faith with the public trust.
Badge is the symbol of your office.
Integrity is being the same person in both private and public life.
Character means the qualities that distinguish an individual.
Public trust is a charge of duty imposed in faith toward those you serve.
Courage is having the strength to withstand unethical pressure, fear or danger.
Accountability means that you are answerable and responsible to your oath of office.
Community is the jurisdiction and citizens served.

The oath of an officer

On my honor,
I will never betray my badge,
my integrity, my character,
or the public trust.
I will always have
the courage to hold myself
and others accountable for our actions.
I will always uphold the constitution
my community and the agency I serve.


     By now you probably get it. The police force represents the church. Each officer represents a believer. The police chief - the pastor. I think the most dangerous attack is from within. When our own bodies turn against us with age, pain and/or disease we find it more difficult to find strength and keep the faith. Within the church, it is obvious we must keep our eyes open for outside attacks, but when we find a counterfeit christian in our own church body the hurt runs much deeper. This is one of the many reasons we must stay close to Christ. The closer we are to Him, the less room available for the enemy to get between us. A wolf in sheep's or Shepherd's clothing.


Acts 20:28-31

28 Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers.Be shepherds of the church of God,[a] which he bought with his own blood.[b] 29 I know that after I leave, savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. 30 Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them. 31 So be on your guard! Remember that for three years I never stopped warning each of you night and day with tears.

Obeying

"The natural life knows that if the spiritual life gets hold of it, all its self-centeredness and self-will are going to be killed and it is ready to fight tooth and nail to avoid that." - (Clive Staples) C.S. Lewis

     It started with a simple little coffee cup.  I had tea on the deck and left my cup sitting beside my chair as I loaded my arms with other things and struggled to open the door to come inside.  I decided I would pick it up next time and even wondered how long it would sit there.  That's when I heard Him.  "Pick up the cup."  I ignored Him as I sometimes do and walked inside, letting the door slam behind me.  He said it again, "Pick up the cup."  Okay.  It was obviously important to God that I pick up the cup so I did.  
     I have read so many books these last few months, I'm not really sure which one it was that spoke about obeying.  The author talked about God wanting us to obey the little things so He can trust us with the bigger things.  If I can't pick up a coffee cup, how can He trust me to do anything else He might ask.  As with any child, if they throw their bike on the ground, do you give them a car?  He has been testing me lately with small things, like where not to eat.  It was a test to see if I would obey Him.  In the book I was reading the author also talked about the meaning in His requests.  We don't always see the bigger picture.  If He tells you to clean a closet, it may mean it's time to throw out the past.  Maybe He is telling you to keep your house clean, so He can trust you with that new one you keep asking for.
     Today was a day full of obeying.  I sent a few emails and realized I don't always tell people the nice things I am thinking because of a fear that it won't matter coming from me, but when God says to do it, there is a reason.  Looking back over the day I realize how good it felt to obey God.  Good things came out of it.  He started out small.  Send an email telling her you smile when you think of her, send another email and tell her how much I love her.  At the end of the day, before I sat down to write this, I wrote a letter to a man I have known for over 30 years.  We hurt each other a few times over those years and I always felt most the blame was on him.  With all that I have worked on this last year, I realized why God asked me to write the letter.  I not only owed this man a few "Thank you"s, but I owed him an apology.  We were both kids who made a mistake and we were both responsible and we were both scared and hurt.  
     I will pray over it and maybe end up making changes if God tells me to, but I will send it and I'm not sure what will come of it, but I trust God after all I learned today.  I will be picking up my coffee cups and not leave them on the deck by my chair anymore, because one of these days God may tell me to do something that saves a life and I don't want be arguing with Him and miss it.


To anyone who reads this, God told me to tell you He loves you.

"We ought not to be weary of doing little things for the love of God, who regards not the greatness of the work, but the love with which it is performed"
Brother Lawrence

"The man that believes will obey; failure to obey is convincing proof that there is no true faith present.  To attempt the impossible God must give faith or there will be none, and He gives faith to the obedient heart only." - A.W. Tozer

It's free

“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.”
― C.S. Lewis
     

     A year ago whenever I heard the word "supernatural", I thought of ghosts and demons, but now I realize everything about God is supernatural. I used to fear getting close to him because I believed I would have to pay for sins I probably didn't even remember. I was actually afraid of the unknown. I would much rather depend on my own mind than on someone I couldn't see, no matter how wonderful I believed He was. Mostly because I believed He was only wonderful to other people. Depending n my own mind now, makes me laugh. My own mind cannot resist a cookie without supernatural help. My own mind has gotten me in all kinds of trouble.

Romans 12:2
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

     It was becoming more and more clear to me that renewing my mind was something I had to do, but how. I had very little control over my mind. I was an addict. I flew off the handle all the time. I couldn't even control my mouth. If you can't pass up a piece of cheesecake, how could you ever heal yourself with your mind? I realized finally, that all healing, including healing of my mind was going to take supernatural help from God.
     For many years I tried to keep my mind busy with anything and everything, from mindless TV programs to silly computer games. Of course I was addicted. To sit in silence when I tried to pray was torture. My mind was always wandering off to something negative. I would find myself thinking about something I did or said, or something that was done or said to me. I understand why "time outs" and "solitary confinement" are considered punishment. Left alone the mind is dangerous thing. Maybe that's why they say idle hands are the devil's playground. An idle mind for me was the devil's control panel for the wrecking ball on my life.
     I tried everything I knew and completely failed over and over. God locked me away in my room for over a year, I had to come up with something. I gave up. I quit trying. I told God if He wanted my mind renewed He was going to have to do it Himself. Come to find out, that's what He was waiting for. All I had to do was follow His instructions. I read what He told me to read and watched what He told me to watch. I found out we renew our minds through spiritual practices. Feed it the Word and let the Holy Spirit do the rest. Seek God and He will renew you and your mind. My mind is still under construction and is still a hard hat area for some, more than others.
  The more I got to know God and what He wanted to do through me, the easier it was to worship Him. The easier it is to love Him. It's easier and more fulfilling to cheer on a team you are familiar with. It's easier to cheer on a person if you know their story. The more you know God the more fulfilling it is to worship Him. I heard a guy ask the question, "Isn't worshipping a God you don't know equal to worshipping an idol?"
     Studying the Word is like a diet. You have to follow it or may I say exercise it, to see that it works. It's fear that stops us from moving forward and keeps us from our future. Fear is the quicksand that keeps us stuck in our past. It's a tool the enemy uses very well. I had a fear of knowing God, like any new relationship, what if He expects too much, what if He hurts me. Bigger yet, what if I let Him down? What if I fail Him like I have failed at so many other relationships? I was afraid of losing my salvation, but as it turns out, I have never been more sure that I belong to Him. When I pray He repeats two things to me often: 1. He loves me 2: He will never leave me. I know it's Him, because the Bible backs up these statements. I know it's not the enemy, because he wants me to believe the opposite.
     I have completely surrendered with absolutely no plan except for to do what He says. I talk to Him all day, everyday. It is so much easier to behave myself when I expect that He is with me every moment. I admit, sometimes, I still make Him wait in the car. Okay, in my mind I left Him in the car, but He shows up standing right behind me. Sometimes I have to turn my back to say a few choice words. But He reminds me "He heard that". The only time I have felt like He has really "gotten after me" is when I tried to throw Dave out of my life and said some not so nice things. I heard Him, "Dave is mine." It has helped my behavior toward Dave.
     There is so much more. I feel bad for those who don't hear Him. Many times I asked why He couldn't send an email. I like black and white. I'm all or nothing. But it's because of this that I not only gave my all, but I want it all.

     Imagine this: You have found yourself homeless. You live on the street and have nothing. You come across a booth advertising free bread and water. You hesitate. Free? Who gives food away for free? In the next booth is a man advertising sweets, alcohol, drugs, porn and even sex. He has a price list posted on the front of his booth.

Sweets - 1 small piece of your heart
Alcohol - 3 small pieces of your heart
Drugs - 3 small pieces of your heart
Porn - 4 small pieces of your heart
Sex - 1 big chunk of your heart and a little piece of your soul

People are flocking to his booth. They rip off pieces of their hearts and hand them over. You notice a look of desperation on all their faces.
     Only because you don't like long lines, you approach the booth with the free bread and water. You ask for a small piece of bread and a small glass of water. The man offers you all you can eat, but you fear there will be a price, so you only take what you figure you can scrounge enough money for in your pocket. He hands it to you with an outrageous smile and invites you back when you are hungry or anytime you just want to talk.
     You take a few steps back from the booth, expecting the police to come running around the corner to arrest you for stealing. You glance over at the other booth still swarming with people, hollering and reaching for more.
     Then an elderly gentleman approaches the free bread booth, "I want everything you have for me."
     "I have a five course meal being served hot right now"
     "I'll take it. I also brought you a gift."
     Oh yeah, you knew there was a price to pay. You know that if you want more you will have to bring gifts. Well, you won't be going back there again.
     Then the man in the booth asks, "Why did you bring me a gift?"
     "Only because I love you and I want to please you. I brought you a family of five to eat with me."
     What is this guy talking about? He brought more people to eat the free bread and water and calls it a gift? You sneak around back to watch them all laughing and eating. You realize you could have the five course meal and bring your family and it would make this man happy. It doesn't make sense. You walk away? Deciding only to come back for a little more bread and water if you are absolutely starving? Now that doesn't make sense.

“He died not for men, but for each man. If each man had been the only man made, He would have done no less.”
― C.S. Lewis

A Little Knowledge

Satan enjoys seeing Christians get a head knowledge of victory without a heart experience, because this lulls believers into a false security, and Satan finds them an easy prey. - Warren W. Wiersbe


     God loves us unconditionally.  Satan hates us unconditionally.  God does not have "off days" when He wonders what He was thinking when He created us.  He loves us ever day.  Satan hates us every day and does not have soft moments when he thinks we have had enough for one day.  God cannot tell a lie.  Satan is the king of lies.  We are not fighting for victory, but from victory.  It has been proven many times in history that to know your enemy, his strengths and his weakness, is beneficial to defeating him.  To ignore that your enemy exists is to become vulnerable.  
     Satan uses many of the same methods to speak to us that God uses.  He even uses scripture, but he twists our thinking and confuses us so we don't hear the truth in the Word.  Satan has many methods to distract, confuse and make us critical.  He arranges interruptions when we try to study God's word.  Very few people have a "run in" with Satan himself.  He is not like God, in that he cannot be everywhere so he must rely on demons to do his work.  
     Satan uses demons to attack our minds, because our mind is how God communicates with us, how He communicates His will.  This is why  we are to renew our minds.  I just finished the book, "The Strategy of Satan" by Warren Wiersbe and he says a lot in the following paragraph:


The Holy Spirit can work in your life when your body, mind and will are yielded to Him, but these are the very areas which Satan wants to attack.  He wants to attack your body with suffering to make you impatient with God's will.  He wants to attack your mind with lies to make you ignorant of God's will.  He wants to attack your will with pride to make you independent from God's will.  If you yield these three areas to the Holy Spirit daily, then the Spirit will empower you to defeat the devil.  As the Spirit of grace He will give grace to your body so that you will be able to endure suffering to the glory of God.  As the Spirit of wisdom He will teach you God's word and bring it to your mind when Satan attacks with his lies.  As the Spirit of power He will empower your will to say "No" to pride.  The Holy Spirit will work in you and through you to defeat the wicked one.  The only way to conquer Satan is to surrender... surrender to God.

     I have never been one to watch scary movies.  When I was very young somebody told me it was opening the door to the devil and I had seen enough evil that I was not about to open any door knowingly.  Because the devil has had a lot of control over my life anyway, I want to learn everything I can about defending myself from his ways.  In everything I have studied and put into practice the one thing that seems to work the best is to grow closer to Christ.  To think as He thinks leaves no room for the devils thinking.  To know the truth in your heart doesn't leave room for his lies.   It doesn't take long for the enemy to gain control when I look away from God for one moment.  Even what I would call a minor sin, unconfessed can grow until it covers the face of God and I can no longer see Him.  Once you know the enemy's tactics and strategies it takes much of his power just in the fact that the fear is no longer overwhelming.  I didn't want to learn about him for fear of opening a door.  Through learning, I have actually closed a few doors.  
     I know many people who are afraid of learning about demons, because they are afraid of opening doors.  But learning about them is like watching somebody who hates you come at you with a knife and then realizing you have a gun in your hand.  
     One thing Satan likes to do is destroy relationships and churches.  This is breaking down the body of Christ.  Sometimes he will plant a lie in a good relationship that tears it apart.  The lie can be planted by using expectations, fear, or temptation.  There are different levels of wickedness in demons and they will work together to destroy.  A little knowledge can go a long way in this area.  Not everything bad is from Satan, but he will use anything he can.




“Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done.” ― C.S. Lewis, Letters to Malcolm: Chiefly on Prayer

There is No Purgatory Party

The most prominent place in hell is reserved for those who are neutral on the great issues of life. - Billy Graham


     We tend to focus on how things affect us instead of the whole picture.  I was thinking recently about Jerry Sandusky, who I believe to be a very sick man and I wonder what Satan did to him to make him this way.  Because he is a living soul, I hope he figures it out before it is too late.  I see beyond his sickness and even his victims, and lately, I think about his family, his friends and the people who proudly puffed out their chests and said "I know Jerry Sandusky."  Of course this was before his sickness was revealed.  This was before they realized when they dropped his name believing people would "awe" at the fact they called him friend, that he was more than just a great assistant coach.  A lot more.  He is a sexual sociopath.  He is a tool used by Satan to destroy many many lives.  He has damaged people far beyond those he put his hands on.  How many people are back peddling now, "I never really liked him" or "I really didn't know him that well" or even "I always knew there was something evil about that man". 
     The people who knew and ignored what he was doing to children, even if it was only a suspicion, they need to be charged.  We have a duty as adults to protect children, every child, no matter who their parent's are.  I get angry when I hear the stories about people who keep their mouth shut, for fear of...?  Fear of losing.  That's exactly what it is.  If you do not expose the truth it is selfish.  You are afraid of what you will have to suffer through or lose.  So let a child's life be destroyed, because you may lose your job?  You may lose your friends?  You may lose trust?  Things may be a little uncomfortable?  I wonder who would speak up if they saw something and when they turned to run away, ran smack into Jesus?  I believe this is why we don't walk with Him every minute of every day, because we don't want Him to see the decisions we make minute by minute.  News flash - He sees it, whether you acknowledge His presence or not.

     I see my life up to this moment as an obstacle course.  I had always seen Jesus off to the side with the more important people, talking, laughing, and teaching, totally unaware that I was fighting for life through what I saw as a very difficult course.  Now, I see it differently.  I see Him running along side me, cheering me on like a real coach.  He wants to see me succeed.  He wants to see me happy, but there are times, when it is best to suffer.  Not only did He step out onto the course and kick certain obstacles completely from my view, but the ones He chose to leave for me to conquer or merely survive, He coached me through, every step.
     Years ago, I decided I had too many fears and I wanted to beat one of them.  I drove to Deception Pass Bridge on a typical Washington misty rain day.  I drove across the bridge with my heart in my throat and parked on the other side.  I have a fear of bridges, water, and heights.  It took a long time, but I slowly made my way across the bridge on foot.  Toward the middle, my legs became like jello and I could barely pull air into my lungs.  I was sweating, but the misty rain kept me just cool enough that I made it.  I'm not somebody who jumps up and down with excitement, but I couldn't stop smiling.  Well, until I realized, my vehicle was on the other side now and I would have to conquer my fears twice in the same day.
     God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.  Anything that produces fear is of the enemy.  As I kept moving forward on my obstacle course, Jesus ran in front of me, "You can do this, keep moving."  Many times the enemy was off to the other side screaming discouragement and sometimes I gave up, I laid on the ground curled in the fetal position totally afraid to go on.  At these times Jesus stood over me, "Get up.  Get up.  You can do this.  You are my child and all things are possible through Me.  Get up."  Other times, He wrapped Himself around me and we wept.  When I couldn't see the finish line, He waited until I was calm and then whispered in my ear how awesome it will be.  He described it in a feeling better than anyone else could even imagine.  Jesus knows what the finish line is like.  Eventually, I always got up.  Through the course and still to this day, I have been screaming, "This is not fair!!"  My anger has helped me keep going.  "This world sucks.  This is not fair."  As God not only trains my body for the race and the future, He is training my mind and my mouth, but one thing He has given me that a lot of people don't like, is the anger and desire to speak up.  I will be speaking up for the oppressed until He takes me home.  If you don't want to hear it, don't listen.  But I will scream louder.  He is training me when to scream and when to be quiet.  As long as He is telling me to speak, I will speak as loud as I need to.
     I get this picture of the Jews in the camps fresh off the trains, all walking together quietly, without fighting, toward the crematoriums.  They are carrying their children and holding the hands of loved ones.  They have suspicions of what's ahead, but their minds try to convince them, it won't be that bad.  It can't be that bad.  This is how I see the population walking toward the gates of hell.  There were a few prisoners who risked their own lives to tell the group what was about to happen, what to say to be pulled from the line of death.  I choose to be one of them.
     I choose to hit people between the eyes with truth.  I pray I only hit the ones who need it.  But today we compromise too much.  We like to sit in the gray area where it's safe.  It's not safe.  

Revelation 3:16 (NKJV)

So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth.

 

     There are things that are black and white, whether we like it or not.  At the end of our lives there is either Heaven or hell.  There is no purgatory party where we get to hang out with those like us and take our time in deciding what we believe and want for eternity.  We are to have made that decision, because there is a moment when it will be too late.  We can't write hell out of existence.  The Bible doesn't say, even if you don't believe as long as your family wants you there, you're in.  There is a lot of gray area, but there are black and whites.  Though we are a spoiled nation, no matter who we choose to be president, he will not have the power to demand God form a purgatory or lower His standards for admission into heaven.  He will not be able to buy his way, or our way as Americans, in through the side door.  We are on our own.  This is our decision and our decision alone. 

     I heard a pastor tell a story once about a skit he saw.  There was an old man sitting in a chair in the center of the stage.  Bouncing around him was a younger man full of excitement and anticipation.  "Can I go get them Dad?  Please, Can I go get them now?  I'm ready to go get them."
     Then the old man in the chair, God said, "Not yet Son.  I am waiting for one more."

     We worry about our wants, while that one more, may be walking right by us.

 

 

 

How far do you want God to go in getting your attention?  If God has to choose between your eternal safety and your earthly comfort, which do you hope He chooses?  What if He moved you to another land? (Abraham) What if He called you out of retirement? (Moses)  How about the voice of an angel or the bowel of a fish?  (Gideon and Jonah)  How about a promotion like Daniel's or a demotion like Samson's?  God does what it takes to get our attention.  Isn't that the message of the Bible?  The relentless pursuit of God.  God on the hunt.  God in the search.  Peeking under the bed for hiding kids, stirring the bushes for lost sheep.  Max Lucado (The Gentle Thunder)

Moral Courage

“The vague and tenuous hope that God is too kind to punish the ungodly
has become a deadly opiate for the consciences of millions.”
― A.W. Tozer

     I find myself often sitting back and watching people, disappointed.  I believe in my heart that we are not as bad as we are behaving, in this country especially.  Our acts of kindness are so often selfish, as we look for the approval of others.  We need an audience to our servant hood, though that makes the good - bad.  This is not a point system.  I see people do things like spend all day cooking meals for a family with a sick loved one and then tell all their friends what they have done.  They top it off with parking in the handicap spot while they run in to grab one more item for their gift basket.

     I carry emotions that are not mine.  I just do that.  Somebody needs to be sad for this country.  It is embarrassing how we treat each other.  We betray each other, ridicule, lie to, accuse, spit upon and tempt each other so we can get what we want.  We treat each other like Jesus was treated, yet we claim we would never treat Him that way.  We do every day when we treat each other with disrespect.  Aren't we supposed to become more like Him?  Not treat others as He was treated?

     I think we have heard the story of the Crucifixion so many times that we have actually become a little callous to it.  Maybe because it's hard for us to believe in this day and age that anyone, even Jesus would do that for us.  Let's turn it around.  Let's say that you were given a choice.  You take the beating that Jesus took or your kids will.  If you don't have kids, imagine it is the person you love most.  We would like to think that we would take that beating.  I would like to think if someone were going to drive a spike through my wrist I would take it, knowing that if I didn't my kids would have to. Think about the emotion.  Jesus was in a human body.  He felt all of the pain.  Do you wonder if He was hoping that we would all realize He did it because He loves us.  I would want my kids to know that is how much I love them.  I would hope that as the skin was being torn from my body, I would not be tempted to call it quits and let my kids take the suffering.  Jesus could have stopped it and we could all be damned to hell.

     We walk around every day yelling "Crucify Him."  Maybe we don't mean Jesus when we say it, but we want people to pay for what we think their crime is.  If we think they are thieves, we want them to pay.  What if we are wrong, like they were wrong about Jesus.  Aren't we punishing Him again when we hate on each other?

     I will never forget the day Jesus showed me that my scars had purpose.  All scars have purpose as Jesus' scars did.  Scars are meant to save souls.  We all need a little courage to stand up for Jesus.  I love it when I see somebody with moral courage doing what's right instead of falling to the pressure of their peers.  We should only be pressured by one Peer.  We need to call each other out and find somebody to be accountable to.  I've always told my kids when they want to be good at something, find somebody they respect in that area and ask them what they do.  If you want a good marriage, talk to someone who has been happily married for many years.  Somebody who has been through struggles.

     To be in His image, means to suffer for God's plan.  To carry out your part in God's plan.  Yet we are busy praying for ease and comfort.  I don't like this and I don't want that.  What if God gave us each a book on who was affected by our lives?  If on the first pages it listed who was saved because of us.  Maybe then it was listed who started attending church because of something we said.  Maybe then it could list relationships that were healed from knowing us.  Would this give us a little more drive to follow our calling?  Maybe?  But it would also take our need for faith.  Wouldn't we then be following God's plan for the "pat on the back" every time a number grew in a our little book of accomplishments.  There is a reason we don't have all the answers.  Wouldn't we become driven out of love for ourselves rather than our love for Christ?  We would change if we knew all the reasons.  Our attitude toward suffering might change.   

     We drop names of people we think are influential in our society out of insecurity instead of being secure enough to drop the name of Jesus.  Instead of trying to reach the top, we should be drowning ourselves in the Living Water until our feet touch bottom and rest firmly on the Rock.

“Yet if we would know God and for other's sake tell what we know we must try to speak of his love. All Christians have tried but none has ever done it very well. I can no more do justice to that awesome and wonder-filled theme than a child can grasp a star. Still by reaching toward the star the child may call attention to it and even indicate the direction one must look to see it. So as I stretch my heart toward the high shining love of God someone who has not before known about it may be encouraged to look up and have hope.”
― A.W. Tozer, The Knowledge of the Holy

    

    

Heathens!!

“A man by his sin may waste himself, which is to waste that which on earth is most like God. This is man's greatest tragedy and God's heaviest grief.”
― A.W. Tozer

     Picture this movie scene, it's used often; A person is in a car driving by someone standing on the sidewalk and the scene changes to slow motion.  The car is barely moving, the two people lock eyes and much is said without words.  I had this happen last night on the way home from work.  I was driving by a bar and there were a few people on the sidewalk, but one woman, for some unknown reason, caught my attention.  We locked eyes and it felt like I was in slow motion.  She was a very thin woman, who appeared very tired and worn out by life.  There was something in her eyes.  At first I couldn't figure out what it was about her, but then I realized it was sadness mixed with hopelessness.  She looked at me like I may have the key to the chains that held her.  Her eyes haunted me all night.  When I thought back to her standing there not only did I see a group of people standing a few feet away, but I could feel and see demons mingling with all of them.  They were whispering in their ears and pulling them back inside for one more round.  They weren't about to let a "Jesus freak" walk into the place to mess up their party.  The thing that bothered me the most is how do they find out there is hope?  Which one of us will go to those places where the demons are in control and pull these souls out of their clutches? 

     I was a partier for most of my life, always looking for something to fill that void, maybe this man will do it, another drink, or maybe this crowd, but nothing did it.  I couldn't go back to that life now.  Maybe the hole I've been trying to fill is still there, but it's smaller.

     As I kept thinking about that woman, I wondered what her life was like before that moment that our eyes met.  Did she dance as a child, unaware of the world around her?  Did she sing at the top of her lungs, just a little off key?  Who put the first chain on her for Satan?  Was it somebody making fun of her with their words?  Did she lose someone very important to her and nobody comforted her through it?  Where was the first chain placed?  Around her ankles to stop her dancing?  Was a muzzle placed over her mouth to stop her from singing?  What was it that chained her arms to her sides so she no longer raised her hands in class?  Did Satan issue a special blinder through abuse that she no longer could see any of the beauty in the morning air? 

     How old was she when she no longer had to have the chains put in place by others, but the enemy had her trained to put them on herself?  Does she walk slower from the weight?  Can she no longer hold her head up high, from the chain of shame? 

     People pass by all the time and see those people on the street.  It's easy to picture the demons doing their dirty work and those people don't do anything to dig themselves out of that deep dark pit.  Haven't you heard the judgement?  A car passes by in slow motion with a nice little God-loving family and they stare.  You can almost hear them saying, "There are too many bars in this town."  They've said it many times, "What kind of person enjoys that life style?  Heathens, that's what they are, heathens."  Look really close - can you see it?  Right between Mom and Dad Believer sits a demon with his arm around each of them and a smirk on his face.

‎"When Jesus comes back, it won't be to rescue the church from the world, it will be to rescue the world from us!" - Graham Cooke

    

D-Day for Demons

When you are in any contest you should work as if there were - to the very last minute - a chance to lose it. - Dwight Eisenhower


     I asked God today why is it always one thing after another?  Why won't the enemy give me a break?  His answer, "Because you are equal to a marine in my military."  After a lengthy conversation about a life time of attacks and the fact it was truly training for my future, I decided to take Eisenhower's D-Day speech and change it up a bit. 


Survivors of abuse, trauma and tragedy:  You are to embark upon the Great Crusade toward which we have striven your whole lives.  The eyes of the world are upon you.  The hopes and prayers of God-fearing and God-loving people everywhere march with you.  In company with our brave Allies and brothers-in-arms on other fronts, you will bring about the beginning of the destruction of Satan's power, the elimination of strongholds over oppressed peoples of this world and security for ourselves in Heaven.

Your task will not be an easy one.  Your enemy is well trained, well equipped and battle hardened.  He will fight savagely.

But this is the year 2012!  Though the enemy has won battles, our great God has inflicted upon the enemy great defeats through us, in open battle, spirit to spirit.  God has blessed us with an overwhelming superiority in weapons and munitions of war, and placed at our disposal great reserves of trained fighting men.  The tide has turned.  The free men and women of God's Kingdom are marching together in victory!

I have full confidence in your courage, devotion to duty and skill in battle.  You have fought your whole life in the mud and blood of spiritual warfare.  You have learned to take a hit and get back on your feet.  You've seen what the enemy can do and survived it.  We have already been given full victory.

Luck has nothing to do with it.  And let us beseech the blessing of Almighty God upon this great and noble undertaking.


“God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons that we could learn in no other way.”
― C.S. Lewis

Pity Pot or Love Tank?

“It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are finished.”
― Debbie Macomber, Mrs. Miracle

    
     Many years ago, the man in my life suggested I may be suffering from PMS.  He even kept a chart on me, measuring my mood and noting my cycle.  It took him 6 months to get me to look at it honestly.  I felt PMS was a woman's excuse to be what I needed no excuse to be.  PMS also stands for Pity My Self.  It's real, but I have learned how to care for myself to avoid the real ugly stuff.  Okay, when I do decide to take care of myself.  To not eat sweets when your body is screaming for them is a little difficult for me, but it really helps.

     This same man asked me a question during a serious conversation on the subject, at the right time, I may add.  He asked what I needed when I was flipping out.  I thought about it for a long time and decided I needed a hug.  His eyebrows went up so high they disappeared and his mouth fell open.  "Is there something else I can do?"  When I couldn't think of anything, he said he didn't think I would be receptive to a hug once I crossed the line he called time to Practice My Shooting.

     With the aid of hormones, PMS is the biggest pity party a person can have.  I can say this because I am a true PMSer.  I have yet to find anyone who is brave enough to hug me during one of the small windows of time allowed by my hormones, somewhere between loading the gun and breaking down in tears.  But, I truly believe that is what I want.  If the wrong person were to try to hug me, or the right person at the wrong time, there could be jail time involved and the pity would shift.

     A friend of mine wrote recently that she has been spending time on her "pity pot" and I informed her I was in the next stall.  As I thought about it, I realized the thought of climbing up in the arms of Jesus and telling Him my woes sounded pretty good, but then after reading a few quotes on pity I realized, the arms I am in when I am feeling sorry for myself do not belong to Jesus.  The enemy is right there, hugging me and agreeing with me on just how bad everything is and how I have every right to feel sorry for myself.  After he has been whispering the comforting words for a while and I'm to the point of nodding my head in agreement, he whispers, "And poor you, your God won't even help you.  He's just not big enough."

“Satan exploits pain by making it the central focus of the man’s (or woman’s) thoughts and attitudes.”
― Erwin W. Lutzer, When You've Been Wronged: Moving From Bitterness to Forgiveness

     Oops, how did that happen?  I lower my head and shuffle back to God's side.  It's like when you are dating someone and you realize he is your last three boyfriends with a different name and face.  Satan does that.  Changes his face, his tone, and approach, but he's the same guy.  He only has so many lies in his bag of tricks.  He keeps using them over and over because they work. 
     The way I see it, when we are born we are given a bucket of love.  Children love with no inhibition.  The enemy wants to empty that bucket, because the greatest commandments are to love the Lord and to love your neighbor as yourself.  The enemy knows you and he knows your ability to do God's will and this determines the amount of trouble he will throw at you to empty your bucket.
     In our childhood and even beyond he comes against us, using abuse, abandonment, tragedy, trauma and anything he can use to drain that bucket.  Whatever we didn't get in those years is what we want.  If we didn't get affection our flesh screams for it.  If we didn't get praise or flesh screams for approval.  If we didn't get acknowledgement of our pain, we grow up wanting it.  That little kid stills lives in us constantly wanting. 
     We learn to survive, we learn to fight the big battles.  We survive with blocking, addiction anger, or whatever it takes.  Then when we are emotionally drained, tired and at our weakest, he tempts us with what our flesh has always wanted.  Our bucket is empty and we have nothing left to fight the temptation.  We give in, then he hits us with shame.  He tells us God doesn't care.  We notice the big things in front of us as attacks.  We have fought against his obvious attacks for years, but then he sneaks in with temptation.
     Sexual addiction is used to fight loneliness, alcohol is used to comfort our hurt, self pity is the hug we have always wanted from someone else, but these are false comforts brought to you by the enemy.  Our bucket is still empty. 
     Pain is a warning that your body needs attention.  It tells us something is wrong.  Remove your hand from the fire, feed the stomach, or get some rest are responses to pain.  Pain of the heart is a sign of an empty bucket.  Some friends can fill our buckets, but some of us have a hard time allowing them to do this.  Sometimes they drain what little bit we have left.  There is only one who can truly fill it to overflow.  Forget what ever is happening, it's a distraction from the enemy.  The bills, the kids, the job, whatever it is the enemy is using it to distract you from getting your bucket filled. 

The enemy only has three weapons to use against us.

1. Lust of the flesh
2. Lust of the eye
3. Pride of life
    

     He only changes the lies that tempt us.  After Jesus was tempted by Satan, the angels came to fill His bucket.  Forget the issues, because they are nothing to God that a snap of His finger won't cure.  Just sit before Him and let Him fill your bucket.  Let Him love you.  When your bucket is full, there is no fire that can't be put out.  I don't know if it's right to thank the enemy, but when he causes pain, fear, or temptation, think of it as a warning light and stop to fill your love tank.

“The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.”
― Søren Kierkegaard