― C.S. Lewis
A year ago whenever I heard the word "supernatural", I thought of ghosts and demons, but now I realize everything about God is supernatural. I used to fear getting close to him because I believed I would have to pay for sins I probably didn't even remember. I was actually afraid of the unknown. I would much rather depend on my own mind than on someone I couldn't see, no matter how wonderful I believed He was. Mostly because I believed He was only wonderful to other people. Depending n my own mind now, makes me laugh. My own mind cannot resist a cookie without supernatural help. My own mind has gotten me in all kinds of trouble.
Romans 12:2
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
It was becoming more and more clear to me that renewing my mind was something I had to do, but how. I had very little control over my mind. I was an addict. I flew off the handle all the time. I couldn't even control my mouth. If you can't pass up a piece of cheesecake, how could you ever heal yourself with your mind? I realized finally, that all healing, including healing of my mind was going to take supernatural help from God.
For many years I tried to keep my mind busy with anything and everything, from mindless TV programs to silly computer games. Of course I was addicted. To sit in silence when I tried to pray was torture. My mind was always wandering off to something negative. I would find myself thinking about something I did or said, or something that was done or said to me. I understand why "time outs" and "solitary confinement" are considered punishment. Left alone the mind is dangerous thing. Maybe that's why they say idle hands are the devil's playground. An idle mind for me was the devil's control panel for the wrecking ball on my life.
I tried everything I knew and completely failed over and over. God locked me away in my room for over a year, I had to come up with something. I gave up. I quit trying. I told God if He wanted my mind renewed He was going to have to do it Himself. Come to find out, that's what He was waiting for. All I had to do was follow His instructions. I read what He told me to read and watched what He told me to watch. I found out we renew our minds through spiritual practices. Feed it the Word and let the Holy Spirit do the rest. Seek God and He will renew you and your mind. My mind is still under construction and is still a hard hat area for some, more than others.
The more I got to know God and what He wanted to do through me, the easier it was to worship Him. The easier it is to love Him. It's easier and more fulfilling to cheer on a team you are familiar with. It's easier to cheer on a person if you know their story. The more you know God the more fulfilling it is to worship Him. I heard a guy ask the question, "Isn't worshipping a God you don't know equal to worshipping an idol?"
Studying the Word is like a diet. You have to follow it or may I say exercise it, to see that it works. It's fear that stops us from moving forward and keeps us from our future. Fear is the quicksand that keeps us stuck in our past. It's a tool the enemy uses very well. I had a fear of knowing God, like any new relationship, what if He expects too much, what if He hurts me. Bigger yet, what if I let Him down? What if I fail Him like I have failed at so many other relationships? I was afraid of losing my salvation, but as it turns out, I have never been more sure that I belong to Him. When I pray He repeats two things to me often: 1. He loves me 2: He will never leave me. I know it's Him, because the Bible backs up these statements. I know it's not the enemy, because he wants me to believe the opposite.
I have completely surrendered with absolutely no plan except for to do what He says. I talk to Him all day, everyday. It is so much easier to behave myself when I expect that He is with me every moment. I admit, sometimes, I still make Him wait in the car. Okay, in my mind I left Him in the car, but He shows up standing right behind me. Sometimes I have to turn my back to say a few choice words. But He reminds me "He heard that". The only time I have felt like He has really "gotten after me" is when I tried to throw Dave out of my life and said some not so nice things. I heard Him, "Dave is mine." It has helped my behavior toward Dave.
There is so much more. I feel bad for those who don't hear Him. Many times I asked why He couldn't send an email. I like black and white. I'm all or nothing. But it's because of this that I not only gave my all, but I want it all.
Romans 12:2
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
It was becoming more and more clear to me that renewing my mind was something I had to do, but how. I had very little control over my mind. I was an addict. I flew off the handle all the time. I couldn't even control my mouth. If you can't pass up a piece of cheesecake, how could you ever heal yourself with your mind? I realized finally, that all healing, including healing of my mind was going to take supernatural help from God.
For many years I tried to keep my mind busy with anything and everything, from mindless TV programs to silly computer games. Of course I was addicted. To sit in silence when I tried to pray was torture. My mind was always wandering off to something negative. I would find myself thinking about something I did or said, or something that was done or said to me. I understand why "time outs" and "solitary confinement" are considered punishment. Left alone the mind is dangerous thing. Maybe that's why they say idle hands are the devil's playground. An idle mind for me was the devil's control panel for the wrecking ball on my life.
I tried everything I knew and completely failed over and over. God locked me away in my room for over a year, I had to come up with something. I gave up. I quit trying. I told God if He wanted my mind renewed He was going to have to do it Himself. Come to find out, that's what He was waiting for. All I had to do was follow His instructions. I read what He told me to read and watched what He told me to watch. I found out we renew our minds through spiritual practices. Feed it the Word and let the Holy Spirit do the rest. Seek God and He will renew you and your mind. My mind is still under construction and is still a hard hat area for some, more than others.
The more I got to know God and what He wanted to do through me, the easier it was to worship Him. The easier it is to love Him. It's easier and more fulfilling to cheer on a team you are familiar with. It's easier to cheer on a person if you know their story. The more you know God the more fulfilling it is to worship Him. I heard a guy ask the question, "Isn't worshipping a God you don't know equal to worshipping an idol?"
Studying the Word is like a diet. You have to follow it or may I say exercise it, to see that it works. It's fear that stops us from moving forward and keeps us from our future. Fear is the quicksand that keeps us stuck in our past. It's a tool the enemy uses very well. I had a fear of knowing God, like any new relationship, what if He expects too much, what if He hurts me. Bigger yet, what if I let Him down? What if I fail Him like I have failed at so many other relationships? I was afraid of losing my salvation, but as it turns out, I have never been more sure that I belong to Him. When I pray He repeats two things to me often: 1. He loves me 2: He will never leave me. I know it's Him, because the Bible backs up these statements. I know it's not the enemy, because he wants me to believe the opposite.
I have completely surrendered with absolutely no plan except for to do what He says. I talk to Him all day, everyday. It is so much easier to behave myself when I expect that He is with me every moment. I admit, sometimes, I still make Him wait in the car. Okay, in my mind I left Him in the car, but He shows up standing right behind me. Sometimes I have to turn my back to say a few choice words. But He reminds me "He heard that". The only time I have felt like He has really "gotten after me" is when I tried to throw Dave out of my life and said some not so nice things. I heard Him, "Dave is mine." It has helped my behavior toward Dave.
There is so much more. I feel bad for those who don't hear Him. Many times I asked why He couldn't send an email. I like black and white. I'm all or nothing. But it's because of this that I not only gave my all, but I want it all.
Imagine this: You have found yourself homeless. You live on the street and have nothing. You come across a booth advertising free bread and water. You hesitate. Free? Who gives food away for free? In the next booth is a man advertising sweets, alcohol, drugs, porn and even sex. He has a price list posted on the front of his booth.
Sweets - 1 small piece of your heart
Alcohol - 3 small pieces of your heart
Drugs - 3 small pieces of your heart
Porn - 4 small pieces of your heart
Sex - 1 big chunk of your heart and a little piece of your soul
People are flocking to his booth. They rip off pieces of their hearts and hand them over. You notice a look of desperation on all their faces.
Only because you don't like long lines, you approach the booth with the free bread and water. You ask for a small piece of bread and a small glass of water. The man offers you all you can eat, but you fear there will be a price, so you only take what you figure you can scrounge enough money for in your pocket. He hands it to you with an outrageous smile and invites you back when you are hungry or anytime you just want to talk.
You take a few steps back from the booth, expecting the police to come running around the corner to arrest you for stealing. You glance over at the other booth still swarming with people, hollering and reaching for more.
Then an elderly gentleman approaches the free bread booth, "I want everything you have for me."
"I have a five course meal being served hot right now"
"I'll take it. I also brought you a gift."
Oh yeah, you knew there was a price to pay. You know that if you want more you will have to bring gifts. Well, you won't be going back there again.
Then the man in the booth asks, "Why did you bring me a gift?"
"Only because I love you and I want to please you. I brought you a family of five to eat with me."
What is this guy talking about? He brought more people to eat the free bread and water and calls it a gift? You sneak around back to watch them all laughing and eating. You realize you could have the five course meal and bring your family and it would make this man happy. It doesn't make sense. You walk away? Deciding only to come back for a little more bread and water if you are absolutely starving? Now that doesn't make sense.
“He died not for men, but for each man. If each man had been the only man made, He would have done no less.”
― C.S. Lewis
Sweets - 1 small piece of your heart
Alcohol - 3 small pieces of your heart
Drugs - 3 small pieces of your heart
Porn - 4 small pieces of your heart
Sex - 1 big chunk of your heart and a little piece of your soul
People are flocking to his booth. They rip off pieces of their hearts and hand them over. You notice a look of desperation on all their faces.
Only because you don't like long lines, you approach the booth with the free bread and water. You ask for a small piece of bread and a small glass of water. The man offers you all you can eat, but you fear there will be a price, so you only take what you figure you can scrounge enough money for in your pocket. He hands it to you with an outrageous smile and invites you back when you are hungry or anytime you just want to talk.
You take a few steps back from the booth, expecting the police to come running around the corner to arrest you for stealing. You glance over at the other booth still swarming with people, hollering and reaching for more.
Then an elderly gentleman approaches the free bread booth, "I want everything you have for me."
"I have a five course meal being served hot right now"
"I'll take it. I also brought you a gift."
Oh yeah, you knew there was a price to pay. You know that if you want more you will have to bring gifts. Well, you won't be going back there again.
Then the man in the booth asks, "Why did you bring me a gift?"
"Only because I love you and I want to please you. I brought you a family of five to eat with me."
What is this guy talking about? He brought more people to eat the free bread and water and calls it a gift? You sneak around back to watch them all laughing and eating. You realize you could have the five course meal and bring your family and it would make this man happy. It doesn't make sense. You walk away? Deciding only to come back for a little more bread and water if you are absolutely starving? Now that doesn't make sense.
“He died not for men, but for each man. If each man had been the only man made, He would have done no less.”
― C.S. Lewis
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