That didn't hurt.

 “I became what I am today at the age of twelve, on a frigid overcast day in the winter of 1975. I remember the precise moment, crouching behind a crumbling mud wall, peeking into the alley near the frozen creek. That was a long time ago, but it’s wrong what they say about the past, I’ve learned, about how you can bury it. Because the past claws its way out. Looking back now, I realize I have been peeking into that deserted alley for the last twenty-six years.”
― Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner      


     A couple weeks ago the Lord showed me a wound that is coming between us. It is affecting my trust in Him and my belief that I will make it to heaven. I kept getting this picture of Jesus coming back for us and looking at me, "Ha. Jokes on you. You thought I loved you, but I never planned on taking you." At first I thought it was the enemy, but as I prayed about it and talked about it with friends I realized it was Jesus, showing me a deep rooted fear. There is the rejection again.  Where is this coming from?  He showed me three men.  The first one was where the wound started, when my dad left.  Then the second was a man I had trusted for many years that turned on me and the same with the third and most recent.  Now what? 
     If there is one thing I could teach every person I meet or help every person improve on, it's hearing God.  If each person could hear Him clearly for themselves instead of depending on others, or even scripture, I would feel like I had accomplished something.  Sometimes we are alone in a situation without a bible and God is speaking direction He wants us to take, words He wants us to speak and yet, we aren't even listening.  Instead we are going back on what we know in our own heads and that can be dangerous.  Scripture in the heart is good, but even scripture in the head can be distorted.  Believe it or not, it can become a crutch.  When Jesus asks us to speak, it can be so far out there by world standards that unless we are so familiar with His voice, we don't believe it is Him.  He often gives us a word that shoots right through the heart like an arrow and speaks to the person in a way we do not understand.  He knows all, we don't.
     As I was driving home one night, I was talking out loud in the car to Jesus.  I am so tired of living the way He has me living right now.  Yes, I have all my needs met, but there are things I just want.  I was explaining to Him that I see the incredible things He does and if for instance He would heal my eyes it would be one less expense.  Why Jesus?  Why can't you just snap your fingers and heal my eyes?  No answer.  That night lying in bed in the dark staring up at a ceiling I could barely see in the darkness, Jesus appeared.  I couldn't see Him like I can see my hand right now, but I could see Him in the spirit.  Like a little kid He was lying on His stomach about 2 or 3 feet above me, His face above mine.  We stared at each other for quite  some time before He lowered His hands and laid them across my eyes and then blew very hard on the backs of His hands.  Suddenly, I could see the second of the three men.  He was 13 years old at the funeral of his mother.  He wore a suit and was wiping his eyes with his sleeve.  I could feel his pain.  It was so deep, I could not control my tears.  It hurt so badly, I could barely stand it.  Then it hit me.  This was a wound we never talked about.  This was a wound he never completely healed from and through this wound he hurt me.  It was easy to forgive him.  I had before and was no longer angry, but it went deeper knowing where his behavior came from.
     Then Jesus reached down with his hands and did it again.  I saw my dad, under a table or something around 5 or 6 years old.  He was covering his ears and he was scared.  The tears were falling as I could feel his hurt and fear.  This was where his actions came from.  This was something I don't totally understand, but I felt the feelings and I know this is where his behavior is rooted. 
     Jesus reached down for a third time, but I told him "No".  I knew who was next and I didn't want to see it.  My wounds are too raw from him and I don't want to go there.  We went back to staring at each other and may have even shared words I don't remember, but Jesus has a way of talking without words.  I finally gave in and He laid His hands across my eyes.  Only this time He barely blew on the backs of His hands.  I saw a blender on a counter.  It was full of green slushy stuff.  In a vision green means growth, prosperity, and conscience if it's positive or humanism and compromise on the negative side.  I'm not sure what they were trying to feed him.  Behind the blender I could see part of a kitchen with ugly yellow wall paper with flowers.  There he was, leaning against the counter.  He was somewhere between 12 and 15.  Anger, fear and pain were the feelings as his shoulders hunched forward and his head was down.  I looked only for a second, before I blinked it away and rolled onto my side to sleep.  I didn't want to see anymore.  Jesus whispered, "You said you wanted your eyes healed."
     I share this story and many before it, not to say, "Look at me!  Jesus and I are tight."  No, I share it to show those that don't hear, Jesus has so much more for us and communicates in so many ways.  English is not His only language.  Do we really think He is up there speaking in English with His angels?  Is He using words at all?  He has been my counselor, more than anyone.  Yes, people have helped me a lot, but the greatest counseling, healing, Truth, I get are in those moments with Him.  He talks to us in so many ways.  In my sharing I have had people realize He was talking to them.  There is no such thing as coincidence.  Somebody said once that coincidence is God's way of staying anonymous, but He doesn't want to stay anonymous, He wants conversation, He wants intimacy, He wants what all of us want in relationship, trust respect, time with each other, etc.
     I shared this story with two trusted friends and one asked, "Don't you want to be healed?"  What stopped me from wanting to see the rest of the picture, the feelings?  I don't know. 
     There is a place in the county where I have done more worshipping, giving praise and glory to God than any other place and that is a friend's driveway.  Over the years we have spent hours sitting in her car or mine or even others, processing the goodness, the awesomeness of what God is doing.  It usually happens after ministry.  We talk about all the things Jesus said and did that day.  He is so good.  As the two of us sat in the driveway a few days ago processing the mornings ministry and the awesome things Jesus did, the conversation came around to my healing in this area.  My friend began walking me through it.  When was the first time you felt this way?  Back into the past we went to dig out the roots.  It was hot in the car, because the Holy Spirit's presence can heat up a space.  Our windows were part way down as she walked me through the memories.  The wind was picking up and we heard a tree crack.  We continued and occasionally stopped to acknowledge the sound of the tree cracking.  I said at one point, "Trees represent leadership and all these men were authority.  I feel like this tree cracking is God talking."  We laughed, because we know, He does stuff like that.  As she walked me through forgiveness in specific areas we were stopped as a huge oak tree next door, fell over, roots pulled right out of the ground, the whole thing went over.  We kept going and the atmosphere changed.  By the time I left there I was a lot lighter and there were a few trees on the ground.  Was it God?  Most would say it was a wind storm, and it was, but I believe it was prophetic.  As we forgive it allows the Holy Spirit to do a work in those we forgive.  The Holy Spirit is moving through this area and the cracked, weak and dead in leadership will be taken out unless they are willing to go back to the roots of the hurt and heal it.
     We have to be able to go back and look at the roots of our pain.  We have to start by admitting there is pain.  I keep seeing that little boy wiping his tears on his sleeve.  We have all seen kids with tears streaming down their faces and an angry tone claiming, "That didn't hurt."  Or how about, "I don't care."  But we know it does hurt and we know they do care, by their words and their tears.  My friend told me she knew we had hit on it when I began to bite my nails.  Good catch.  Claiming it doesn't hurt or I don't care, it doesn't bother me while chewing away on my nails says a lot.  Many of us don't want it to hurt.  We don't want to admit that another person had or has that power over us.  Why are we still talking about it?  Because it hurts.  Why are the tears falling?  Because my heart is broken. 
     I woke up two days later with God speaking.  Unhealed childhood hurts, bring out childish behavior.  The age of the unhealed wound is the age of reaction to the same pain.  He says to come to Him like children.  It is in those places, those wounds, that we can be vulnerable with Him.  Yes, Jesus, it hurt when Dad left.  It broke my heart when he said it was over.  It still hurts, whenever he says things about me because it reminds me of the rejection I feel from him.  It screams "I hate you."  No matter what words others hear, I hear "You meant nothing to me."  I remember one time looking at a friend with anger dripping from my eyes, "I don't want to forgive him."  Another friend said, "That right there is honesty."  The first friend came over, pointed at his shoulder and said, "Let it go."  I cried like a baby on his shoulder for several minutes.  Forgiveness is huge, but we can't forgive an offense we don't admit is there.  Forgiveness should be so deep and wide that they can no longer offend us.  They can no longer hurt us, because we see that their actions are rooted in childhood wounds and until that is healed, their reactions will be as a child the age the wounding took place. 
     People can be mature in several areas of their lives, but have one unhealed area where their actions are of a teenager or even toddler.  If the time comes that God wants the wound healed and we don't go back to that place and heal it, God will allow the enemy to keep poking at that wound through people until we either go back or blow up our lives.  It's a choice.  When he reveals a gaping, seeping wound and we ignore it, it can get infected and take our life.  He will take us out of ministry if our wound is seeping on others whether they know it or not.  This country is a mess because of rejection.  We have people trying to get a long with people, but a huge wall of rejection stands between them.  It's in our government, it's in our teachers, leaders, people on the street.  Everybody is angry and self absorbed because of rejection and it's a me, me, what about me, society.  It can be turned around by changing our focus to you, you, you and forgiving. 
     Sitting in that driveway, I told my friend, when we are abused in some way, we grow up and run from that behavior or we find ourselves abusing others the same way."  She said, "And I think God has had enough."  Then the huge oak went down. 
    

“In a futile attempt to erase our past, we deprive the community of our healing gift. If we conceal our wounds out of fear and shame, our inner darkness can neither be illuminated nor become a light for others.”
― Brennan Manning, Abba's Child: The Cry of the Heart for Intimate Belonging      

"B" Jesus

“It is when we notice the dirt that God is most present in us; it is the very sign of His presence.”
― C.S. Lewis


     I went there to pray for others.  I was trying to worship in preparation for praying for healing over emotionally, spiritually and physically broken people, but it was hard to focus.  Less than two hours earlier I had received a text from my friend.  One of my oldest friendships.  I value those I have carried a friendship with over decades, because there are so few of them left.  Most of my close friends are dead.  At 3:33 I received the text; "Hi, I have cancer."  There were more words, but I didn't see them.  That was two days ago and as I maneuver my way through the days, every couple hours an invisible hand comes out of no where and grabs me by the throat and I can't breathe.  I have to go back to the chess board.  On my knees in worship shortly after "the text" I told Jesus, "I don't want to be here.  I don't know how to feel.  This hurts.  I'm scared.  He is not a believer.  What do I do right now in this minute?"  He showed me a huge chess board with people sitting in the squares waiting for their next move.  "No matter where the pieces move they are still in the picture."  I'm not sure what this means exactly.  All I know is he is my oldest male friendship that has lasted over the years.  Even when we get together and talk about friends, they are dead now.  I am too young for this.
     Priority is salvation.  He lost his best friend to cancer only months ago.  I prayed for him, but he wouldn't let us come to his bedside and probably died without Jesus.  My friend, I will call "B" and I talk about God.  He knows cancer doesn't come from God, so he believes and he knows God is good even when his friend is dying.  He asks for prayer support, so he believes in prayer.  Priority of salvation is moving forward.  There is even a church he goes to occasionally with his girlfriend and he likes the pastor.  Awesome.  But we never talk long before he remembers the ugly stuff.  "B" is an intelligent man and an artist.  He likes to laugh and he really cares about people.  I met him in the 12 step program so we have a lot in common when it comes to dealing with feelings as we are of those who choose numbing over dealing.  But because we have been friends so long, we know we are safe to share our feelings.  After all these years we can share with eye contact, no words necessary.  He doesn't like Christians and I don't blame him.  What he has seen is not love, it's stupid. 
     "B" went to a baby dedication at another church and the pastor was talking about stupid stuff, not God.  He was not winning "B" over by far, in fact, he was running him out.  He wanted to get up and leave.  It's hard to separate Christ and Christians to those who have not yet decided.  I can say amateur psychology does not belong in the church. 
     I wonder how we find unity when people don't want truth.  I have repeatedly told my friends, if I am not seeing a spirit on me, a habit or an unloving behavior on myself, please tell me.  I want to know.  Even if I get up and leave, I promise to look at it and I will be back.  I don't want to be stuck.  I want to grow.  Everybody has little things they are dealing with and we will always heal and continue to grow.  I love seeing this stuff, because I can pray, but it's the big gaping wounds that are seeping on others that make me crazy.  Like a street preacher who is screaming in judgment outside a church and my 5 year old grandson is scared.  Really?  Really?  You obviously have gifts of great knowledge of scripture and boldness, but you are scaring children, my children and grandchildren and that is not okay.  Especially when they are finally open to God and you scream them into the car and out of the parking lot.   They are traumatized 2 weeks later.  "B" don't look at them.  Don't look at anyone holding a sign with fire and hell on it.
     "B" don't look at that guy with the "I love my church" T-shirt who just screamed profanity.  "B" all believers don't drive like that.  Let's talk about Jesus.  "B" over here, stop looking at that short skirt on that children's ministry leader.  "B" the pastor may be having an off day.  Let's talk about Jesus.  It's really hard to focus on the unknown invisible God when His kids are so visibly not being Christ like. 
   I sat and watched people and I couldn't tell the difference.  "B" understands the baby believers, but in the 12 step program the old timers stand out.  They usually have wisdom and knowledge in every situation.  But in the Church very few old timers stand out from others, unless they are wearing a scowl of judgment.  Yep, I won't be taking "B" to any churches.  But I will be bringing friends, spiritual fully believing in the bigness of God, friends to him to introduce Jesus. 

“You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you.”
― C.S. Lewis

Son or slave? And to Whom?

1 Thessalonians 5:18-22   New American Standard Bible (NASB)

18 in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 19 Do not quench the Spirit; 20 do not despise prophetic [a]utterances. 21 But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; 22 abstain from every [b]form of evil.

     I'm looking for a copy of The Holy Bible part 2.  There must be a newer testament that tells us to be nice no matter what.  That's what I am hearing all around me, that Jesus is nothing but nice.  The last testament I read, the New One, is not all about being nice.  I won't mention Saul was struck blind to help him see Jesus or anything about Ananias, and his wife Sapphira falling down dead for lying, but what about the woman at the well?  Is it nice to say, "Go call your husband and come here", knowing she not only had no husband, but had been married 5 times and was now living with a man?  If I did that to someone, I would be labelled mean.  I can only imagine what shame she was feeling and maybe embarrassment.  Is that nice?  Scripture does not say there were other people around so maybe He was nice in approaching the subject in private, but whatever knowledge we have about how things were back then, we don't know that others were not listening in on their conversation.
     I have experienced times in my walk that I would not call Jesus "nice" and there are people who do not believe it was Jesus.  Why?  Because they have been programmed in niceness.  But when I tell my stories to some who have experienced similar things they break down, because they realize they are not crazy.  We have a bigger problem and it stems from this niceness.  People, leaders, those who have walked with Jesus longer are too quick to say, that's not Jesus.  I have friends, most of my friends who have not experienced Jesus the way I have, but, they know me, and they know my relationship with Him and the experiences I have.  I would say the most difficult, the most abandoned and betrayed I felt from the way Jesus was treating me was in my room a few years back.  Try to imagine, I was coming to terms with the truth that Jesus was not the cause of years of abuse.  I had felt betrayed by Him my whole life and was just beginning to understand this thing called "freewill".  As I was worshipping in my room, deep in worship and I could feel His presence before me, as I was on my face, suddenly He moved away and a demon appeared.  I could still feel Him to my right, but was completely confused as to why He would move away and allow this demon to sit in front of me.  I was angry, I was hurt, I was confused and if this thing wasn't blocking me I would have walked out.  Jesus said, "Make it go."  I yelled back at Him, "You make it go.   I can't believe you would turn me over to this thing after I was beginning to believe you."  He repeated, "Make it go."  I said, "You make it go, You're Jesus."  After several minutes of being consumed by my hurt, disguised in anger, I did make it go and He showed me the lesson.  I had learned my authority and He was with me.  It was the most difficult lesson, but one of the most freeing.  Was He nice?  NO!  Was it necessary?  It worked.  I will never forget it.
     As I grew in confidence and my fear faded, I began to share my experiences with others.  Then it happened to me.  The one person who had spent many hours trying to convince me Jesus loved me and that I did hear Him, suddenly changed his story when I told Him something he didn't want to hear.  Since then I fight doubt all the time.  When I finally asked Jesus why I could not surrender that last little piece of me I was hiding away from Him, as though He really couldn't see it, He brought this up.  In the gentle way He does things, He led me to a teaching.  It was one I was only half listening to as I was focused on other things, but one sentence caught my attention.  My spirit jumped and I had to get paper, pen and rewind the teaching.
     This man was speaking about people leaving the church in great numbers.  Many have had a spiritual experience they did not understand and because the church did not know how to answer their questions, they go looking elsewhere.  One example John told of was when he was having a conversation with the head witch from New England.  This guy had a spiritual experience and asked his pastor what was happening to him.  The pastor said, "God doesn't speak that way anymore.  That was the devil."  He told the pastor, "I have seen more power in this experience than I've ever seen in the church.  I'm going to find the devil."  He did.  As John was talking with him, the Lord revealed that the experience was a call to be a pastor.  The man had several gifts.  A gift to understand spiritual things, a gift to rally people together and a gift of bringing people into a new destination.  The witch knew it was true and his eyes filled with tears.  He said, "It is too late, now."  John didn't give up on him and they spent a lot of time together, but four months later he died of an over dose.  Somebody, probably led by satan, injected him with a lethal dose of drugs.  Why?  Because he was getting to know God.  I totally understood this.  Though I would never walk away from God, I have tried to give the Lord back my gifts.  I have shied away from ministry on several occasions.  Doubt.  Doubt is a killer and instead of saying someone is hearing the wrong spirit, we need to walk them through scripture that confirms or denies.  This is a bigger problem than we realize.
     At New Age fairs, many, many of the people once went to church and believed in God, but the spiritual power they felt, whether it was from God or the enemy,  compared to a passive church that does not know it's authority was to enticing.  They had to go find a spiritual being to submit to and it is not always God they find.  By looking at the sleeping church today, it often appears the enemy has more power.  The world has changed the meaning of the word spiritual.  All this New Age stuff is talking about being spiritual, but you are your own God or we are all part of a bigger god.  Some don't realize it's not the one and only King of Kings and other's don't care.  John Pail Jackson said, "The only time darkness wins is when we find darkness is more submitted to their god than we are to ours.  We are far too passive with the majesty of God.  This passivity which may even become apathy, to the majesty of God is what keeps authority from growing in us."
     This apathy, I believe, is also contributing to this "niceness" that is spreading like wildfire.  Can't we all just get along, hide our heads and pretend everything is okay?  NO!  Things are not okay.  Hebrews 5:7-8 says In the days of His flesh, He offered up both prayers and supplications with loud crying and tears to the One able to save Him from death, and He was heard because of His piety. (8) Although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered. Really?  Jesus learned obedience through the things He suffered?  Then why are we so afraid of pain?  Why are we so afraid we are going to hurt some one's feelings?  Why are we afraid to suffer?  Most people will tell you it was in the suffering they found Jesus.
      The elect may be fooled, because the enemy has been working out this plan for a long time.  The words from the teaching I was listening to, that stood out to me were "they will flatter you.  They will tell you things you will become"  As I went back and listened I realized, I had fallen for this.  Romans 16:18 For such men are slaves, not of our Lord Christ but of their own [i]appetites; and by their smooth and flattering speech they deceive the hearts of the unsuspecting.  False teachers and prophets use flattery.  I had one tell me I was going to do something great that changed this geographical area and though there were many more words, that was really all she said.  I fell for the flattery for a short time, but then I saw it.  The problem with too much niceness, is it sounds a lot like flattery.  Without sharp discernment, how will we know the difference?  Even the elect may be fooled. 
     Also in the teaching the thing that stood out to me is how God woos us back to Him if we wander off.  The father running out to meet the prodigal son on his return is often used, because it is a great example.  John compared it to the dark spirits when you wander away from them.  "They don't just say, sorry to see you go, they then threaten you, cajole you, roust you, come to you and with violence want to bring you back."  If you walk away from a relationship and this is the behavior you experience it's a good sign to keep walking.  It was more clear to me than ever what was going on.
     As our prophets become psychics and our evangelists and pastors become voices for the enemy, the church sleeps.  In fact, many in the church are listening to these false teachers who are teaching there is more than one way to God.  Marianne Williamson for example bases her teaching and writing on a set of books called A Course in Miracles, a self-study program of spiritual psychotherapy, based on universal spiritual themes.  According to Time magazine, "Yoga, the Cabala and Marianne Williamson have been taken up by those seeking a relationship with God that is not strictly tethered to Christianity.  Many churches offer her courses as she appears on Oprah Winfrey and they agree there is more than one way to God.  THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY and it is through Jesus. 
     People are looking for a spiritual guide and when we as the Church do not introduce them to the Holy Spirit, they will go looking elsewhere and there is one who is more than happy to fill that need.  The Church's fear of the supernatural is causing many to fall away in different ways.  Are you in the wrong church?  Have you asked God is this is where you're supposed to be?  I am blown away at what I am seeing the Church doing.    They won't allow speaking in tongues, yet they have grace for the guy who cusses like a sailor.  They will not allow dancing during worship, yet post pics of their monthly outing to dance at the local bar with a dance floor.  They won't use wine for communion, to protect the alcoholic, yet the pastor gives his sermon with the smell of beer on his breath.  There are witches, warlocks, and Satanists sitting in our churches, cursing church members and casting their spells, but the church is unaware, except for the Jezebel who sits in the back laughing and then shakes their hands as they leave.  "See you next week."
     Why have so many left the church?  Because they see into the spirit realm and know the truth, yet when they speak up they are called judgmental and told shut up or leave.  The enemy has control of many churches and people don't even realize it.  Most Church members have no idea of the authority they have.  That authority comes through a close walk with Jesus.  The closer you are the more authority He gives.  But the sleeping Church is putting too much faith in a human pastor.  A pastor who is afraid of the demonic.  Until we truly walk with Him, know who we are in Him and find our authority in Him, the world is not going to change.  Power is a gift and satan lost his authority when he fell, but he did not lose his power.  The only authority he has is what we give him and many in the church have handed authority over to him.  We all fear hearing the words from God, "I never knew you."  What does that mean?  Consider this, Adam knew Eve and she bore a son.  It's intimacy that produces a son, works produces a slave.
     We are too dependent on the natural.  We are too aligned with world thinking.  Wisdom from God is not from experience or education, but a form of revelation.  John Paul says "The problem with us humans is divine logic seems to be chaotic and illogical to our lower logic.  Divine logic flows from an uncreated, unlimited source.  It flows from deity."  When are we going to realize that we are not smarter than God?  We are following those smooth tongues who in reality are only submitted as far as they can understand or control.  When you try to control the Holy Spirit, you quench Him.  You put Him in a box.  Most of those controlling pastors set the box out behind the church building.  If we have Jesus in us, demons should shriek and run, but instead they are handing us the collection plate each Sunday as they say, "Good Morning".


There is a realm of the spirit we can walk in that the new age craves. The reason they are not in church is not because they don't crave God. It's because the Church is unresponsive to their experience. - John Paul Jackson

Dreams: God talk.

“Will we act, or will we sit on our hands? I don’t want to show up on that day only to hear God say, “This nation—where is My church? There’s still too much sin, too much covenant with Baal, too much pornography, too much perversion, too much materialism, greed, pride, and arrogance. They have missed their hour of grace; only judgment awaits.”
― James W. Goll, The Call of the Elijah Revolution 

 
      According to John Paul Jackson, one third of our day we sleep and one third of the bible speaks of dreams and visions and revelation, either directly or indirectly.  I find this correlation interesting.  I believe God is speaking a lot more than we are listening.  In taking a course on dream interpretation, I have been confirmed in many words I received from God.  For instance, in the months before I started this study, I wrote down the words the Lord spoke to me, "Past prophetic dreams may mean something different now - wider spread".  I also wrote these words He spoke to me, "Don't limit my words by putting them in a box - multiple meanings."  As the study began, one of the things that was said, was "A dream may have one meaning today and a broader or more specific meaning tomorrow and the greatest meaning years from now."  I knew I was right where He wanted me.
     There was a day I was feeling guilty about spending so much time trying to figure out the meaning of my dreams.  I asked God to forgive me and He replied with, "I love this about you."  I decided that had to be my flesh and put aside interpreting my dreams.  Then when this study came up and I jumped into it, I was pleasantly surprised when I heard, "God loves it when we study our dreams, because it's getting to know Him.  Our dreams tell us how He communicates and teaches us His nature.  Studying your dreams, remembering them, praying about them, is exactly the same as meditating on the word of God.  It is His word."
     I have to say at this point that as with any word you believe is from God, it has to pass the test.  Dreams can also come from the enemy and from our flesh.  Check them against scripture.  Though the Lord does allow some of dreams from the enemy, because he reveals his plan and we can pray against it. 
     Most dreams for most people are about themselves.  They are either showing something Jesus wants to change about you, giving direction, or they can be a warning.  If you read through scripture it is very interesting how many words from God came through visions and dreams.  I go through times, where I wonder if I hear from God at all and when that happens I ask for a dream.  He will always give me a dream I cannot deny was from Him, but I pray regularly that I only remember dreams allowed by Him for His purpose.  I have spent the last few days writing out all my dreams and their interpretations and putting them in a binder.  More than once the Holy Spirit has shown me even more about my dreams.  He is the interpreter and any interpretation we get is the true gift of prophetic dreaming.  I have been pleasantly surprised at how many interpretations I received even years ago that totally line up with the teaching.  The thing I have most valued from this study is confirmation that I hear Him. 
     The next most valued is my sanity.  I am not crazy.  We will hear as much as we are willing to hear.  Seer and people with a prophetic gift are trusted with His words.  The most amazing thing is realizing He is talking to me as I walk through each day.  I may not understand it all right away, but it is Him.  It was a Thursday and I was in line at a convenience store.  The woman in front of me was paying for her things and was short 42 cents.  She had to run out to her car, but I said I would pay it.  Off she went, I paid her 42 cents and paid for my own stuff and left.  The next day, my daughter called and told me a story about being at the counter to pay for her stuff and she was short 42 cents.  WHAT?  How does that happen.  I knew the Lord wanted to show me something.  I plugged 42 into the bible search program and Revelation 13:5  There was given to him a mouth speaking ^[a]arrogant words and blasphemies, and authority to act for forty-two months was given to him.
     I sat on that for a few days, unsure of what God was saying.  Was I being arrogant?  Was somebody else in my life?  I prayed, asked forgiveness if it was me and let it go.  Then I was listening to a teaching, but not really focused until I heard him say "42 and then the other 42"  WHAT?  I looked up the scripture.  Revelations 11:1-3  Then there was given me a ^[a]measuring rod like a staff; ^[b]and someone said, “Get up and measure the ^[c]temple of God and the altar, and those who worship in it. ^2 [d]Leave out the court which is outside the ^[e]temple and do not measure it, for it has been given to the nations; and they will tread under foot the holy city for forty-two months. ³ And I will grant authority to my two witnesses, and they will prophesy for twelve hundred and sixty days, clothed in sackcloth.”    1260 days is 42 months.  One right after the other?  I don't know why He is showing me this, but this is how He talks to me and would talk to anyone willing to pay attention and listen.  We have to know His voice, we have to know His heart, His ways, or we will be fooled in the last days. 
     The dreams He has given me are mostly asking me to pray for leadership.  If the enemy can fool a leader into following him, then most of the flock will follow too.  In fact the Lord spoke those words to me.  "Many will be deceived when the one they have followed for years is deceived.  When he falls off the path they will follow."  We have to have our own communication with Jesus.  We don't want Him saying, I never knew you.  Who we trust today may be the elect fooled tomorrow.  If something in your spirit says something isn't right, check it with scripture and ask God to show you truth.  Knowledge can change when more knowledge is attained, but Truth is Truth and it never changes. 


“Father, we know that dreams and their interpretations belong to You. With honor coupled with a deep hunger, we ask You to give us Your wisdom applications, in Jesus’ great name, Amen.”
― James W. Goll, Dream Language: The Prophetic Power of Dreams

We better stop!

“The only man who has the right to say that he is justified by grace alone is the man who has left all to follow Christ.”
― Dietrich Bonhoeffer

     There is nothing like waking up shortly after 5 am because the Holy Spirit wants to talk about perspective.  You know those movies, where the tough guy rolls a chair right under somebody he wants to interrogate, forcing the guy to sit down, sit now and sit hard.  Yeah, that's the feeling this morning.  It's not like He wants my side of the story, but He wants me to have His.  Even though God knows all and I believe has no need of processing His thoughts, this is one of those times where it feels like He is processing and bouncing it all off me hoping something sinks in.
    This is where He started, Grant's perspective on an addicts overdose is much different than most people.  Grant is a pastor of a church I went to in the beginning of my search for the meaning of life, my life in particular.  Grant has performed many, many, too many funerals for very young people.  He is good at it.  So, from his point, he sees the waste, the spiritual scoreboard and the way it affects so many people, family, friends, and community.  He may even see things, like the community growing numb to young death.  I don't know what he is seeing.  I can only guess.  Ahhhh, part of the processing.  When a parent loses a child, they might feel very alone, like no one understands ... I don't really know because I have never lost a child.  Some people in this sick world don't seem to care about losing their child and some are even taking the life of their own child.  I love processing early in the morning.  NOT.
     Tolerance?  We should always know that somebody else's perspective is going to be different than ours.  Siblings for instance, should know what it is like to be you, raised in the same home, by the same parents, etc. but they don't, cause the relationships are different.  What is the point of this conversation?  Everybody's right, nobody is wrong ... oh great now I have a song in my head... I should not write this early...

"For What It's Worth"

There's something happening here
But what it is ain't exactly clear
There's a man with a gun over there
Telling me I got to beware

I think it's time we stop
Children, what's that sound?
Everybody look - what's going down?

There's battle lines being drawn
Nobody's right if everybody's wrong
Young people speaking' their minds
Getting so much resistance from behind

It's time we stop
Hey, what's that sound?
Everybody look - what's going down?

What a field day for the heat
A thousand people in the street
Singing songs and carrying signs
Mostly saying, "hooray for our side"

It's time we stop
Hey, what's that sound?
Everybody look - what's going down?

Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you're always afraid
Step out of line, the men come and take you away

We better stop
Hey, what's that sound?
Everybody look - what's going down?

 

 

     Now that I have that somewhat out of my system.  But wasn't that so fitting to where we are in this country right now?  Oh yeah.  Years ago, I had a very serious conversation with man who is gay.  This is somebody I care very deeply for and will not give up because our beliefs are different.  I will never forget him saying to me with tears in his eyes, "Do you think I would choose this life if I had a choice?"  Do you know who else said the same thing to me?  Same tone, same tears.  Addicts.  Soul living.  Feeding the flesh.  I'm starting to get it this morning God and yet I still have no coffee.  BREAK - gotta get coffee.

     A little more awake now and what I am seeing is how much we have failed in this country.  We live from our souls, mind will and emotion.  We have no idea what self discipline is, because we have very little discipline at all.  To make disciples, discipline has got to be learned, but parents aren't doing it, because they haven't learned to discipline themselves, and the church isn't doing it, because they haven't learned to discipline themselves and even if God is doing it, we blame it on the enemy, because a God of love wouldn't do that.  BULL.  Somebody has to start speaking the truth, the cold hard truth and stop loving this country right into the institutions.  I truly believe there is a group who is not afraid to be hated, they are not afraid of death and they are going to be speaking some discipline into this country.  We can stomp our feet and cry to our mommy's but it won't do any good, because Daddy is speaking.  It's time to grow up and teach the kids, who they are.  Giving in is not giving love.  They will know there was a prophet among them.

 

We better stop
Hey, what's that sound?
Everybody look - what's going down? - Buffalo Springfield


 

 

 

 

 

You can't lie to teach TRUTH!!

“You will know as much of God, and only as much of God, as you are willing to put into practice.”
― Eric Liddell, The Disciplines Of The Christian Life 
    
     How did this country get so far from God?  By playing with the enemy's toys.  We all have a hole in us only Jesus can fill, but we try to fill it with all kinds of other things, even spiritual things, but if it's not the spirit of God, then you are putting another God/idol before Him.  One of the ways to experience a supernatural encounter that is safe and is a great first step is to read the bible out loud to the Holy Spirit.  It's that simple.  Invite the Holy Spirit, ask for protection from the enemy and choose a chapter.  The Holy Spirit loves it when we read scripture to Him.  Why?  Because it gives Him an opportunity to show up.  Read as though you are reading to a child.  Have fun with it.  He will enjoy it and suddenly you will see things in scripture you did not see before and you will understand things that didn't really make sense before.  This is also a great way to practice hearing His voice.  If you read and listen, He will speak to you.  It's a great way to start if you really want to interact with Him.  It will bring joy and peace. 
     As people are searching for that "spiritual guide" they are stepping onto the enemy's playground and the Holy Spirit, the true spirit does not play there.  One way is yoga, which is the worship of another god, and no matter how much Christian music you play the enemy is still laughing.  The stuff we bring in to our homes through television and books actually invites the demonic in.  Out of curiosity I read up on what exactly a luau is after I heard more than one believer say they will not attend one.  Quick explanation, the males and females ate separately, but the king in his lust and perversion changed that and now  not only do they eat together but there is sensual dancing.  A church actually had a luau in God's house, inviting lust and perversion in.  Most didn't recognize it, because it has lived there for a long time.  I heard a 14 year old say she had her first lap dance that night.  That's disgusting.  I was looking at the pictures of the faces these dancers were making and the demonic face in the smoke of a candle was enough to convince me.  When I asked the pastor what he saw in the smoke, he saw a seductive woman and my case was made.  He still thinks I am crazy, but that is exactly what the enemy wants him to think.  If we want to know if another religion is bad, we think nothing of reading their literature, but how many times do we believe something from one persons opinion of one single experience, and the enemy loves this.  The enemy will always twist the truth.  Counterfeit money does not look like monopoly money, instead it looks like the real thing.  Often a good counterfeiter takes the real thing and changes the number on it, which makes it look like it is worth more, but no matter what it is a counterfeit and truly worth nothing.  If you have a large church or churches, the enemy does not want to shut it down, he wants to lead it in the wrong direction.  Let's say the pastor is having an affair.  It is smarter for the enemy to keep it quiet and slowly lead the pastor into false teaching and have all those people follow too.  When the affair is exposed it is Jesus who exposes it and this is why scripture says to call out our brothers in sin if we are to be like Jesus.  If he has fallen to temptation and is now following the enemy, and we don't call him on it, he will lead his followers over the same cliff he is walking off.  I think they call that a soul train.  Ha.
     Our soul is our mind, will and emotions and is all about comforting us.  Our soul is where lust lies.  Our soul is where Satan goes to tempt us and when our  soul responds it's always about us, what we want, what we think, what we feel.  On the other hand, our spirit, wisdom, conscience, and communion is about edification and when we respond in the spirit it is about someone else's good or need.  When our soul is in charge, we look for comfort for ourselves and this makes it easy for the enemy to step in, but when our spirit is in charge we are more concerned with others and their needs than our own.  I tell people who can't get past there anger at someone to bless that person.  That has to come from the spirit and it's hard to stay angry at someone you are praying blessings for.  We are not called to kill our soul, but we are to make it submit to our spirit, though you will hear many teachers say our spirit should submit to our soul.  The enemy loves that lie.  In fact the confusion about the difference between soul and spirit is the enemy's doing and confuses scripture or twists it
    I hear people over and over lately talk of an angry world we are living in.  I don't see that.  We are living in a world full of fear.  Not fear of God, not healthy fear, but enemy generated fear.  Even the pastors, even the long time believers are scared.  Why?  Because the enemy has convinced us/them we are not good enough.  This is all about identity.  When a leader/teacher has to lie to teach you his lesson, that's exactly what it is, his lesson, not from God.  When a teacher has to slam other ministries, he is scared.  He is not afraid of the other ministries, but he is afraid he is not good enough. 
     There seems to be a shame factor here.  For instance, I heard about a girl who is saving herself for marriage and how she was getting beat up on line.  Why?  Because if someone is doing something good and we are not doing that same thing, does that make us bad?  I would have to ask, "How many of those slandering her did not save themselves for marriage?"  The enemy steps in and covers them in shame and then fear and anger and defensiveness.  When this happens to us, we tend to call good things bad things if we have not achieved them.  For instance many are afraid of speaking in tongue and speak out against it, like it is not important, but it was important enough to be mentioned in the Bible.  In fact, 1 Corinthians 14:39 & 40 says Therefore, my brethren, desire earnestly to prophesy, and do not forbid to speak in tongues. 40 But all things must be done properly and in an orderly manner.  The point is we are running from the good things of God, in fear that the enemy will sneak in, while at the same time in many areas we are playing on the enemy's playground and believing God will show up.  Anything not of God is anti-Christ,
     I feel like I am sitting with my mouth hanging open as I watch the world around me give in to fear.  Fear and faith are the same thing; a belief that something that hasn't happened will happen.  Whether it is fear or faith depends on who is your God.  Once you believe it's going to happen, you actually open a door for it to happen.  I got very angry the other night when I heard of this pastor/teacher lying to his class about me.  He didn't use my name, but many knew who he was speaking of.  If you have faith in what you are saying, why would you need to use deception to manipulate?  Because you are full of fear and insecurity.  Fear and insecurity are choking this world and causing many to lash out in anger because they feel inferior or believe that others believe they are inferior.  
     I have seen amazing healing.  I have seen legs grown out, hearing restored, backs made straight and cancer gone, but the healing I have seen the most and touches me the deepest is hearts healed.  Through forgiveness hearts are made whole.  I have watched people go back to the root of their wounds and forgive and it changes them.  In the process they come to know who they are in Christ.  It's so frustrating to watch healing happen several days of each week in believers and non believers and then watch Jezebel and Ahab spirits rule a group of people and turn them away from healing through fear.  It's especially difficult when the Lord says, "Let them go."  It's hard to let anyone go, when you believe they are going the wrong way, but His ways are greater, He knows all and I trust Him to go find the one.  I can only pray His will be done most days, because I don't even know what to ask for to change this world.  I don't believe we are called to sit back and say, well, it's prophesy.  Yeah, but how long could we put it off with prayer?  We can change God's mind.  For just one more?  I think it's worth it.  Very!
     I turned my anger over to God before I went to bed after hearing these lies and He gave me a dream.  I was riding in the back of this woman's car.  I was trying to drink a coffee like everything was okay, while she drove erratically trying to scare me.  She was passing on the right on a narrow country road and driving very fast.  In the dream I finally reached up and grabbed her by the hair and pulled her head back so she could see well enough to stop the car, but not well enough to continue driving like she was.  I told her to pull it over.  The next thing I knew I was over her with one hand on her throat and the other ready to punch her as she lay there grinning at me.  That's when I remembered, our fight is not against flesh.  This team is being controlled by the enemy.  He is trying to scare me and I just about fell for it. But instead I pray for exposure of lies and exposure of truth.  It seems to be the theme of intercessors lately and it's working, we see lies being exposed all over the place.  It is all over the news.  I believe it will get crazier in this country, but not like most of us think.  I believe a shaking is coming.  The wolves who are accusing others will be exposed in government and in the Church.  The Lord showed me that many of those who have been in the Church for many years and have always been tried trusted and true will fall away, they are falling away from the leading of the Holy Spirit, if they ever truly followed.  It is through these who have been trusted for many years that the enemy will lead many away.  The falling away will be so gradual that those who follow them won't see the change.  We can't stop checking.  We always have to be open to the Lord showing us the changes in people.  That one who has led you many years on a journey toward Christ and kept you from sliding off the road, just might be leading you right over a cliff.  Test the spirits.  The Lord will tell you if you are headed toward danger, but you have to be willing to hear Him.
     Our soul will be our downfall.  The soul, mind will and emotions, will tell us, "I really like this guy, his messages are great, he cries when he talks about Jesus."  The pastors and prophets will pay a high price for leading sheep astray.  I believe those with the gift of discernment or who claim to have it, will pay a high price also.  If Jezebel's position is threatened by anyone all she has to do is tell Ahab there is a demon on that person and Ahab, with the power of a king, in his kingdom, will have that person killed, even if it's by slander.  Ahab thinks Jezebel is protecting him, and in a sense she is, but more important to her, she is truly the one in control.  Ahab is a puppet with power. 
     Yeah, I am a Jesus freak and many are preaching that God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit is not weird.  Have they read the Bible?  He spun Ezekiel around in  the air before the elders.  Yes, the Holy One is weird, by world standards, thanks to Satan for setting those standards.  He has made the normal weird.  For some reason, we now think pounding a stick on a rock for water is weird, being naked in town even if you are a king or prophet is somehow weird now, walking around a wall and having it fall?  Who is your God?  Translating, speaking in tongues and riding off into the sky in your chariot is now too strange to be true?  How about running supernaturally fast?  We would assume drugs, wouldn't we?  When people walk around town naked now we lock them up.  If it is not the norm, we call it satanic, but was it not God who told Isaiah to parade around for three years in his birthday suit?  This is my question to the Church, How badly do you want to see others in heaven?  If God told you that He would save a city of millions if you would walk the streets naked for three years would you do it?  What if He asked you to walk across the country and the enemy's prisoners would be set free, would you do it?  What if He asked you to stop speaking, not one word for a year and 1000 people would be set free from the enemy's grasp, then what?  How many of us would convince ourselves that was not God.  He wouldn't ask something so weird.  Sometimes what He asks us to do is only about us and our faith and obedience.  We have normalized God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit right into a box.

If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

2 Corinthians 5:17

This isn’t talking about your body. If you were a man before you accepted Christ, you were still a man afterwards. Your body didn’t change. And your soul, which is what the Bible calls the mental-emotional part of you, didn’t automatically change either. It’s subject to change, but you have to renew your mind to experience change in your mind and emotions.
But in the spirit, you became a brand-new species of being. Your spirit is totally new. There isn’t an old sin nature left in you.
I know this comes as a complete shock to many of you who have been indoctrinated in the-old-nature-versus-the-new-nature theology. Most Christians have been taught to believe that after salvation, they are still the same at their core, and they live the rest of their lives trying to restrain this old nature. They believe they have two natures. That’s schizophrenic, and it produces Christians who are nothing like Christ. - Andrew Wommack

You Can't Hide Broken or Fake for very Long!

“A company of wolves, is better than a company of wolves in sheep's clothing.”
― Anthony Liccione


     Stubbornness is a counterfeit strength.  Ministering to a young lady awhile back the Lord showed this to me.  I needed to hear it, because I have always been told how stubborn I am and actually held some pride in it.  Then when I saw the harm it had done in this young woman's life I was almost embarrassed about my stubbornness and I also saw how those words had been spoken over me and cursed me my whole life.  The Lord has been showing me how easy it is for the enemy to get into our lives with counterfeits.
     Talking to a young man. he told me how difficult it was becoming to study his bible every day and how far away from Jesus he was feeling.  He was also feeling guilt.  Then he talked about how he would listen to worship music in the car and find himself totally submitted and close to the Lord.  Jesus showed him there was a spirit of religion tormenting him, convincing him that reading scripture daily was required, and though we do need to know the Word, it had become a religious exercise instead of a hunger to know the Lord.  Worship was where he could abandon all rituals and submit.  It was all about loving Jesus.
     The enemy can come as an angel of light and why wouldn't he?  Counterfeit's are an imitation of truth.  A counterfeit keeps you from the real thing.  Another area the Lord was showing me was in healing.  The Lord wants every single broken part of us healed.  So, if we broke a leg, would we hobble around on it and take pain medicine?  It would not heal correctly.  It might seem like it is healed, but we would probably never run on it again.  If you covered up the real problem of the broken leg with a numbing agent, painkiller, who knows what would happen.  What if the bone set with your foot facing the wrong direction?  Ha.  So instead of addressing the symptom, we cannot be whole until we address the real problem, the true brokenness.  Line up the bone and put a cast on it.  I am truly concerned about the "healing" oils people are using lately and I have seen a change in the people using them.  One woman I have ministered with the last few years always used to ask, "What is the root issue?"  Now she has an oil to cover the pain.  People aren't getting healed, they are getting numbed.  I am not saying not to use them, but I am saying, What about the root?  Migraine headaches are often brought on by guilt, cancer often has a bitterness root and asthma from fear and anxiety.  There is more to it than this and this isn't always the issue, but often times it is.   If we cover the root with an oil or numbing agent, the symptom may be gone, but the root wound or issue is still operating.   
     Many people are resorting to plastic surgery instead of healing wounds.  Instead of finding the truth about who they are in Christ, they get breast enhancement, reshape their noses, and even change their gender.  It is obvious these people don't know who they are or that God does not make mistakes and He does not make junk.  The sad part is that so many people cheer them on.  Even Christians, who say they believe in the all powerful King of Kings will not believe who the Word says they are and instead search for themselves in diets, titles, and false friendships.  Whenever something does not feel right on our outside, we need to look at our inside.  Are we looking for significance in the wrong places?  Are our friends turning their backs?  How did we treat them?  Why did we treat them that way?  What is the root wound?  Is the oozing wound in our heart that has not been dealt with, getting gunk all over our friends?  Whatever is in our heart, comes out our mouth.  We can't hide broken for very long. 
     Over the last several months, I have seen whole families find complete freedom from going back and finding the old hurts and healing the lies with TRUTH.  The Lord told us to heal the sick.  Healing comes from truth and anything else is a lie or a counterfeit.  I have even seen this in the church.  Why is one church losing people weekly, while another with the same beliefs is growing like crazy?  The growing church has a pastor who is chasing after Jesus. and willing to look at any darkness or old wound in his heart.  The Holy Spirit is running his church and his testimony is drawing in the lost.  They understand him and want what he has.  It's hard to follow a leader who is not moving.  The other church is under a counterfeit, focused on the stuff that does not matter to Jesus.  Numbers.  It strikes me funny that NUMB is such a large part of the word numbers.  Drawing people in.  A mentor told me once that we preach, we minister to an audience of one and if we start looking at more than that one, if we start needing numbers instead of His approval, we start losing. 
     I have heard a lot of teaching lately on how we put man first and it gets us sideways.  Even in communion when we have grape juice instead of wine, we have taken on the responsibility of keeping the drunkards sober, when that is between him and the Lord.  Another form of tickling the ears?  The world has told us that one drop of wine can reignite a hunger for alcohol and maybe it can, but God, the Almighty can interfere with the worlds truth.  World truth often times is a lie.  I heard a man sharing a vision with a younger man and he said, "I know flowers are girlish, but...."  That's a lie.  God didn't make flowers for girls.  In fact, weren't the flowers created before the female?  Just sayin'.  It's okay to love flowers, men.  It does nothing harmful to your masculinity. 
     There are many other ways the enemy gets us to look at the world and deception, when we are looking for Jesus and truth.  The enemy has us battling against flesh instead of the true enemy.  The enemy puts a job with a status or title we think we want in front of us, instead of waiting on the true calling the Lord has for us.  I just heard a speaker say that instead of looking for titles like apostle, pastor or prophet, we should be pursuing the title of bondservant or follower.  The highest position of leadership a man can have in the kingdom of God is Head of his household.  It's where he can do the most good and where he can do the most damage if he fails.  When prophecy says you have a great call on your life, instead of aiming up at that title, we should be looking down to servanthood or we will never be a great man/woman of God for the Kingdom.

 
“Doctoring her seemed to her as absurd as putting together the pieces of a broken vase. Her heart was broken. Why would they try to cure her with pills and powders?”
― Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina

Healing through His blood!

“The story goes that a public sinner was excommunicated and forbidden entry to the church. He took his woes to God. 'They won't let me in, Lord, because I am a sinner.'

'What are you complaining about?' said God. 'They won't let Me in either.”
― Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel: Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out

      While worshipping a while back the Lord gave me a vision.  I was standing at the parted sea and the promised land was on the other side.  As I stood there I realized how high those walls of water really were, how dark the passage at the bottom of the sea really was, and how fear and trust were the deciding factor - Can I do this?  Do I trust Him enough to hold back the walls or will He allow them to come crashing down on me and I will drown?  There in that moment, I heard Him say, "Don't ever forget this moment."  When you are in ministry, constantly called to be the Moses who has the faith to stretch out his hand in obedience to God, so that God will part the sea for those you are leading to the promised land, you can't forget the fear of that moment.  This is where our testimony comes into play.  I stood there at that sea, with my past racing up behind me, wanting me dead, with no clue to what was on the other side and more faith in the Moses God had sent to stretch out his hand than in the God who was actually the one to part the sea. 
     In the natural, at conception, our gender is decided, our eye color, hair color and the shape of our nose.  In the supernatural God has already decided these things, before our parents even met or the earth was even formed.  That day he called it into existence a war began.  The enemy plans to destroy us immediately through fear and through deception.  There is nothing so pure, beautiful and peaceful as a sleeping baby.  There is nothing so loved and so hated.  If we could only see what is really going on around that totally unaware child. 
     Do not fear.  The bible says it repeatedly and the baby does not fear, but as he grows and the enemy's plan starts to unfold around him, fear creeps in.  He uses abuse, divorce, bullying, trauma, etc. to scare the child from his identity in Christ.  The most important thing Christ has for us is our identity in Him and the last thing the enemy wants us to get a hold of, to truly know, is who we are in Christ and fear is his ultimate weapon.  Fear of abuse, abandonment, rejection, what man thinks, and on and on.  We are slaves to an identity that is not ours.  We become slaves, in bondage to the deception caused by circumstances brought into our lives by the enemy.  Then the day comes where we stand at the sea.
     Imagine it.  You are a believer standing at the opened sea.  Your past demons are racing up behind you threatening to return you to bondage for the rest of your life, you can feel the mist of the water on your face as you examine those tall walls being held back by a God you say you believe in, and you have been told His promise of freedom is on the other side.  You look up to the top of a huge rock where Moses stands with his hand stretched out.  Who do you trust?  Moses seems more in control right now than God, who you can't see.  What if Moses was screaming at you, "You don't deserve this.  You are a sinner!!  You better say your sorry for every thing you have done before you step into that pathway.  REPENT or BURN!!"   Wouldn't you start wondering if this so called path to freedom was really God at all?  If it is, do I want to trust Him to hold this open for me?  If He called this angry guy to stretch out his hand to hold the water back, who should I really be trusting here?  I have had the word repent screamed at me before and it was much more powerful and inviting when it was whispered to me.  To be led through the Red Sea to the freedom on the other side by Moses, began way back before they even saw the water. 
     Moses had spent time with his people showing them God's truth.  The locust, the darkness, the plague and death were all used so his people knew Moses was hearing God and this built trust.  When they stood at the sea, they already had reason to trust Moses and more importantly to trust God. 
     I was with a friend doing street ministry a few weeks ago.  On the street you don't have time to build years of trust, so you really have to listen to the Holy Spirit to accelerate enough trust to plant seeds.  We approached a young man who was high and about to get into a car with a complete stranger to get higher.  My friend took his hand in hers and aggressively spoke of Christ's pursuit of him.  She is usually very gentle and I was shocked at her insistence.  I began to pray protection as I felt darkness close in around us.  I wanted her to get back in the box.  This is not how we  usually do this.  But she kept at him and I kept praying.  He thanked us and began walking away.  I was a little relieved it was over, to be honest.  But then the Lord gave me a question to ask him and with some prodding, I finally did.  Holy Spirit nailed it.  We eventually found out that when my friend took his hand, his high left him.  The Holy Spirit gave us more words to share with him about his life and his trust in us grew, because there was no denying we were hearing God and He had sent us that Saturday morning to meet with this young man.  We have stayed in contact and this man has spent time with my friends family and is making his way through the sea.  The Lord showed us both that day who He saw when He looked at this young man and we saw a brother.  We told the enemy, "Let my people go" because we knew he was one of God's kids and he was broken and hurting and didn't know who to trust.  He is learning to trust Jesus.
     Fear keeps many believers at the edge of the sea.  They have set up camp there in the desert with the mist of the water keeping them just cool enough to stay in that lukewarm place.  Some are too fearful to take the steps through that passage to freedom and others have fooled themselves into thinking they have already passed through and are actually on the other side now.  One of the fears keeping believers in the lukewarm camp is a fear of the supernatural.  Obviously those walls of water are being held back by the supernatural power and authority of God. 
     To be humble is not about our behavior as much as it is about believing and knowing who He is and what He has done and what He can do.  The harder the heart, the bigger the fear of the supernatural.  To walk in the supernatural takes a humble heart.  The minute we fight pride, we fight belief in His ability to do all things.  Pride makes up the box the religious keep Him in.  Fear of the unknown keeps us from passing through the sea of cleansing and healing.  Yes, it is scary to walk through the sea and it gets darker and deeper as you go, but then there is a point where it gets lighter and we can see the other side and it is so worth it.
     Jesus told us to do many things and fear keeps us from them.  The enemy has been working on this all of our lives.  Fear keeps us from loving others, loving God and loving ourselves.  Fear keeps us from submitting to the Father and following Jesus in every area of our lives.  Fear keeps us from laying hands on the sick and healing them.  Fear keeps us from casting out demons, from raising the dead, from speaking in tongues, from weeping with those who weep, from humbling ourselves and forgiving.  Fear keeps us from  giving, from confessing our sins and all the other things He asks us to do.  Fear even keeps us from resisting temptation.  Pride keeps us from admitting we are full of fear.  We twist scripture to prove we are right.  We slander others to lift ourselves to a place of believing we know all about God and how we are to live.  This is all fear and it is fear of man and an unhealthy fear of God and who He really is.  Fear keeps us from worship and from praying and when this happens, we are in trouble. 
     We deny the gifts and the supernatural out of fear.  I was ministering to a man who was so hungry for God, but had fear that he wasn't doing things right.  The Lord told me to blow on his stomach.  Weird right?  Exactly what I was thinking, but obedience means everything so I told the man what I was going to do and he looked at me with the wide eyes of a little boy.  I had no choice but to trust and so I blew.  Immediately this man broke.  He cried and cried and raised his hands to the Lord shouting praises.  I don't know exactly what happened, and I don't have to know.  Yes, I probably looked like a weirdo by worldly standards, but the freedom this man found was worth every bit of being uncomfortable.  It increased my faith in God and how good He is.  Did something happen in the supernatural realm that I couldn't see?  Or was it a test of obedience that caused a breakthrough?  Doesn't matter to me.  If looking foolish by the worlds standards sets people free, I am your servant, Lord.  I don't care what I look like to others.  What I care about is getting people through to the other side of that sea. 
     Fear is a barrier to intimacy.  How can you be intimate with someone you fear? 
One of the ways the enemy uses fear is to keep people from their prayer language.  Does it sound foolish?  Only to those who fear it.  Have you ever shared a moment with someone and after that there is a word you can say that only the two of you know what it means?  You can be in a room full of people and you say that word or phrase and they know exactly what you mean (much more than what was spoken) but nobody else in the room knows.  That's an intimate moment.  That's what praying in your prayer language is like.  It's a conversation between you and Jesus that even the demonic does not know what is being said.  The enemy hates it and will try to convince people it is evil so they won't even attempt it.  He doesn't want intimacy and/or secrets between you and Christ.  He does not want you having a conversation that he cannot hear.  So he uses fear to keep us from it.
    Fear of man, fear of the gifts, all fear causes us to want to control.  Control is the opposite of submit.  We control by denying the gifts are for this time or controlling what people think about the gifts.  Doubt and unbelief grieve the Holy Spirit more than anything.  If you gave somebody a gift and they did not accept it or they wanted it in a different color or model wouldn't that be a slap in the face?  They are called gifts, because that's what they are.  We honor God by accepting these gifts as He has given them.  To say we believe in Him, but don't trust Him, to say we believe the Word of God, but only parts we are comfortable with, to trust man's word more than the Father's and to stand at the sea and not go through it, leaves us in the camp called lukewarm and you know what happens there.

The opposite of rejection is Jesus!!
 

“The irony is that while God doesn’t need us but still wants us, we desperately need God but don’t really want Him most of the time.”
― Francis Chan

The Smell of Lukewarm!!

1 Corinthians 3:1-3New American Standard Bible (NASB)

3 And I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual men, but as to men of flesh, as to infants in Christ. 2 I gave you milk to drink, not solid food; for you were not yet able to receive it. Indeed, even now you are not yet able, 3 for you are still fleshly. For since there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not fleshly, and are you not walking [a]like mere men?


      There is a finite number of unbelievers who have not been told about Jesus.  There is a number of people who have heard of Him, but have not been introduced.  They are out there living their lives every day, but nobody is introducing them to Jesus.  Why?  I believe it's because we are sitting back on our religious beliefs that they will come to us.  Churches have become businesses.  We run them like we are trying to lure in shoppers instead of going out to where the people are.  We offer hundreds of classes, comedy tours, food and drink.  Church isn't for the unbeliever, it is for fellowship of believers, building them up to go out and reach the unbelievers.  It's supposed to be a place where disciples are made, through training and discipline, but instead it has become a nursery. 
     I believe the church building is a place where we worship, but many don't even understand what worship is.  Worship is not singing a couple songs to Jesus.  Worship is not for us.  It's not to get us in a good mood or to help us feel closer to God, though when one truly worships Him these things can and do happen.  Worship is about honoring God.  Taking time to adore Him, to thank Him, to submit to Him.  In the concordance it compares to a dog licking it's masters hand.  Prostrate oneself in homage.  If people truly understood the meaning of worship, would they come late, because they hate the singing?  Would they ditch out early to miss the last song?  We don't have to sing, we don't have to stand, we don't have to lift our hands, it is a heart expression that causes us to want to do those things.  I struggled with worship for a long time until a friend gave me awesome advice.  He asks Jesus how He wants to be worshipped in that moment.  This works great for me.  Sometimes I raise a hand, sometimes I sit and other times I get down on my face.  It's all about Him.
     Many churches have turned worship into singing a few songs.  People walk around talking and even eating food provided by the church, while the true worshippers struggle to not be distracted.  It's sad.  It is very sad that such an opportunity is wasted because we are too selfish and focused on our wants to take some time out to adore, honor, and truly worship the King of Kings.  Have we forgotten who He is?  He has grown tired of the church (buildings) and is about to give it a shaking that many wont survive.

     I heard of a Christian man who is having an affair with a married woman.  He goes to church every Sunday with his wife and kids and plays the good man. Afterwards, he drinks in the bars and chases woman after woman.  I have been asking God how we are supposed to talk to unbelievers about Christ when Satan is making sure they see Christians cheating on their spouses, checking out the opposite sex, lying, raging, etc. etc.   The church or should I say nursery is full of babies who don't want to mature and have even reached a point where they are spitting up their milk.  When scripture speaks of spewing or spitting out it is something distasteful.  I'm believing the milk is no good. 
     Maybe if we fed the babes good milk, they would grow.  Maybe if we fed them nourishing milk they would want more, rather than the watered down stuff they are getting.  The Lord took me to several verses confirming that we are to judge our brothers. He is to judge the unbeliever's.  Has one person gone to this guy and said "What you are doing is wrong in the eyes of the Lord"  Discipline, repentance, forgiveness, and all that is deemed harsh has been removed from the teachings.  God has had enough.  This churches and this nation are about to pay the price for watered down gospel.  If the preachers don't start preaching the Truth, if the worshippers aren't truly worshipping the one true King, and if the prayer warriors don't start praying in His will instead of their own (witchcraft) God is going to shut down the churches and start giving out spankings.
     A couple weeks ago while I was in prayer the Lord gave me these words: The tents fell and what was once a gathering place for My people now appears like a ghost as they try to escape from under the weight of what they created without Me.
     Jesus gave us instructions.  It's very difficult to pray for the sick, cast out demons, raise the dead, weep with the weeping, worship, pray, use our gifts for the Kingdom, when we smell like rotten milk and people don't want to be near us.  The smell of the lukewarm?


Hebrews 6:1-4New American Standard Bible (NASB)

6 Therefore leaving the [a]elementary teaching about the [b]Christ, let us press on to [c]maturity, not laying again a foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God, 2 of instruction about washings and laying on of hands, and the resurrection of the dead and eternal judgment. 3 And this we will do, if God permits. 4 For in the case of those who have once been enlightened and have tasted of the heavenly gift and have been made partakers of the Holy Spirit,