“The world is full of men who want to be right, when actually the secret of a man's strength and his pathway to true honor is his ability to admit fault when he has failed. God wants to fill the church with men who can say they are wrong when THEY ARE WRONG. A man who is willing to humble himself before God and his family and say:"I was wrong." will find that his family has all the confidence in the world in him and will much more readily follow him. If he stubbornly refuses to repent or admit he was wrong, their confidence in him and in his leadership erodes.”
― Jim Anderson, Unmasked: Exposing the Cultural Sexual Assault
It was very early in the morning, not much traffic on the road, when the Lord whispered to me in that still small voice. Months ago a friend and I spent a lot of time discussing God's tone. We had heard a speaker say, "What if it was not a big booming voice that said I AM, but what if He whispered it?" This changes everything. What if He did not explode in a demanding tone, "BE HOLY AS I AM HOLY." Some versions of the Bible have these words in CAPS. What if He whispered these words. Honestly, they are stronger to me when whispered, because they are an invitation to be like Him. He gives us free will and draws us in. He uses the example of a shepherd who leads the sheep instead of driving cattle. So on this foggy cold morning, when many hadn't even been to bed yet, I was getting up and driving to a friends where five us were about to set out on a road trip. This was a trip to a church 12 hours away where we knew God had selected the five of us to go, because He had an experience for us. In that darkness as I was driving He whispered, "Repent." I knew what He was saying immediately.
The enemy wants us to see Him as this big demanding, judgmental "I see everything you do and I'm waiting to send you to hell" God. What if He is asking us, "Repent, please change your mind, your attitude on this particular subject." If our child was standing on the edge of a pit of fire and about to fall in, fear would most likely take over and we would most likely yell "GET BACK!" and honestly we could scare them so badly they could fall in. But God is not scared. He knows and sees all. I believe He is saying, "Step away from the danger and change your course.
When I was talking to a friend about this, he reminded me of Elijah hiding in the cave in 1 King 19 and God asks, What are you doing here?" He knows Elijah is hiding. He knows fear is controlling Elijah's actions. He doesn't show up in the wind or the earthquake or the fire, no God speaks to him in that still small voice and basically says, Put fear aside, change your direction and go. Change your attitude, your belief, change your direction, instead of deeper in the cave go forth to do My will and don't sit in the regret of what has happened, just go. Repent? We have made this into an ugly scary HUGE thing, when really as I see it He just wants us to see truth. So if we believe the lie that we are worthless, because the enemy has been pounding it into our heads since conception, will God yelling, "YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS." convince us we have value? I don't think so. To change our beliefs about this lie and come to believe our life has value, a whisper would be more convincing to me. Then comes the sorrow for believing the lie and acting on it.
I am not saying that God does not get angry or discipline. He has spoken firmly and clearly to me and I knew it was a time when I needed to listen and not argue. Some people don't believe this can be God. I knew it was. In a recent post I told of a curse He told me to break and I argued. The next thing I had a full size Buck slam into the side of my car. My mirror, for looking back, was completely busted off the car. I repented. Why? Because I knew how serious He was. He did not want me lining up with the lie. I was sorry, not as much for not wanting to break the curse, but what really broke me was that He had better for me and I was refusing it, I was limiting Him, I had Him in a box. I broke the curse, asked forgiveness and then had a very valuable conversation with the Holy Spirit. I changed my heart and my mind and became willing to align with God's will in this area. God wants more for us, He wants us to have all He has for us, but so many of us get stuck. I had a pastor yell at me to repent. I knew enough about him, that his words were offensive, YOU are telling ME to repent? Don't we lead by example? That night driving in the fog, God reminded me of that moment how little impact his words had on me because of who I saw when I looked at him. BUT, God also reminded me of the many times through healing where people I trust said to me in a normal voice, "You will have to repent for that." then they exposed the lie I was believing, the damage it had done to my life and walked me through changing my belief and attitude. Repentance was not a scary thing, it was freeing, it was empowering, and humbling all at the same time.
I believe when we see our error and admit to it and we are transparent about it, we have more success in leading others to repentance. Those who have led me through it, I have seen do it freely and openly in front of others. Power is in our testimony. God's greatest commandment is to love Him, our neighbor and ourselves. Forgiveness, repentance, and obeying are all apart of that. This is another example of the enemy trying to hide the Truth from us.
“But the man who is not afraid to admit everything that he sees to be wrong with himself, and yet recognizes that he may be the object of God's love precisely because of his shortcomings, can begin to be sincere. His sincerity is based on confidence, not in his own illusions about himself, but in the endless, unfailing mercy of God.”
― Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Monday, January 19, 2015
repent vs GRACE. What is at hand?
“If you are renewed by grace, and were to meet your old self, I am sure you would be very anxious to get out of his company.”
― Charles H. Spurgeon
Yesterday I sat alone watching the championship game. This game would decide one of the two Superbowl teams. Though I was alone, every time a touchdown was scored, in my mind, I could hear rooms full of people cheering, yelling, making manly grunting noises. It made me sad. Fans of the Seattle team even have their own name, the 12th man. I hear all this talk about unity in the church and how we are to achieve it and then church lets out and unity is achieved in thousands of homes in front of a TV screen as they cheer for their team. There is unity in sports. People wear the team colors, even painting their nails and hair. Why can't we have this in the church. We all gather by the thousands causing blackouts and water issues at halftime cause we are all running to the bathroom at the same time. They even measure the "Fakequake" the fans cause with their cheering when there is a touchdown, but when a soul is saved and announced in church, we often resort to the "golf clap"
This is what I call a false unity. It will be over when the season ends. Even 9/11 caused a unity in this country, but I believe it was a false unity because it died off rather quickly. I come as a fairly new believer and there are things I just don't understand. In order for something to grow, it needs roots. Where are the roots of Christianity in this country? Where are the elders? Who do we go to with our questions? Aren't we supposed to have teachers? Also, aren't the teachers supposed to learn from their students. Instead I see teachers turning on their students, because they do not agree with their teachers, and actually question their teaching. Where is that in the Bible? All we get is a shoulder shrug. I hear these churches trying to draw in unbelievers. Where is that in the bible? Isn't the Church supposed to go out and meet them where they are at? I hear it being preached that Jesus meets us where we are at. Well, I am at the grocery store, at my job, walking down the street, etc. etc. I don't see you followers of Jesus.
I talked to God about this the other day. I believe the picture I saw was from Him. Men were calling out to people, "Come over here" and there were flashing lights and other things to draw customers in. When I asked God what He was showing me I heard the word carnival. Games, food and rides. They all represent the Church. There are the rides that are a thrill and then they are over. There is the food that is not nutritious, only good for our taste buds and there are the games that only take our money. The people at each station are yelling out for us to come to them, for the most fun. If you want to win, come to my booth, we believe the Sabbath is on Saturday. No, no, come over here, we only teach grace, cause that is all that matters. We have the booths, rides, food trailers, each representing the different focuses in the church buildings We teach through the King James, we don't believe in hell, we speak in tongues, we don't. Everybody is trying to draw in the unbeliever, yet do they even talk to them to see why they don't go to church? Maybe they don't like carnivals? Maybe they have been lied to all their lives and don't want to play anymore. Maybe they have PTSD and hate crowds. Maybe they hate hearing about grace and then getting yelled at to repent when they tell the truth. Maybe they are waiting for someone to care enough to find them where they are at. Maybe they want the truth that is written in the Holy Bible even if it hurts.
Where does the bible speak of being comfortable? Where does it talk about Jesus gathering up comfortable couches and serving cold drinks, before speaking to a crowd? Where does it say, Jesus ordered them to build a huge building and draw people in? Where does it say, we don't discipline our brothers and sisters, we just give grace and continue allowing them to influence the people? Jesus spoke Truth. He walked around the country from town to town and people who had heard of Him came to hear. Where did they hear about Him? On the street? Or did they meander into a big building and ask what was going on?
Last night I looked up four words in the Concordance and was surprised how many times those words were spoken by Jesus. He only says what the Father says. Love, loves, loved, etc was spoken 70 times by Jesus in the Bible. Forgive in all it's forms was spoken by Him 37 times and repent was 27. The first word I looked up that surprised me the most was the word "Grace" It was spoken one time. My grace is sufficient. If this is any kind of scale as to how we should be teaching we are in big trouble.
Maybe there are things I don't see or understand but these are the things the Lord is speaking to me and as a somewhat new believer this is my most honest truth about what I see. I do know people and hear stories of them speaking to people in the marketplace. Those people don't brag about how many chairs they filled last Sunday, but they do brag about how awesome their God is. It's embarrassing to see the individual churches look more like a billboard than a safe place. We offer classes, coffee and comfort. Really? How about Truth, which booth do I have to go to in order to find Truth. Even if it hurts, I want it. Teach me to hear God and then I will tell you if He wants me sprinkled or dunked. Stop giving me the "Do as I say, not as I do" crap I got growing up. People in the world who have never entered a church can read "Fake" a lot easier than most of the people who have been sitting there for years. If the pastor disappeared, would they know how to feed themselves.
Maybe there are so many denominations and beliefs because God never intended the Church to be a building and so He won't give one church all the truth. Maybe the one with the truth is the one pounding the pavement for the Lord. So as we argue about beliefs and then go home to drink a beer and watch the game, I have to ask, what is with all this disagreement and why is it so huge? Because as long as we are focused on this little stuff, we are not united. We are not focusing on the real battle. How many unbelievers died blocks from us while we were cheering on our team? Would we have left the game to talk with them or scheduled an appointment for after the game or even better yet, for Monday.
Another thing the Lord and I have been talking about is the state of the nation. We all sit around talking about how the enemy is taking over this country, this world and how the times are getting so bad. The state the world is in is the responsibility of the Church. We are talking about our own failure. If you want to meet for a weekend service, how often do we take the time to pray for this nation, for the leaders, for the world? We have authority to bind the enemies hands. We focus on each person, each unbeliever, each play in the game, when this is a much bigger deal. This is war.
The other day as I was wrestling with doubt, the Lord reminded me of dreams He gave me over three years ago. I had a dream that a megachurch pastor was being run over by a blue Ford pickup. It was over two years that He explained the details of the dream. The pastor represented the Church and he was being run over by a demon driving a blue pickup. The blue was the color of the high priest. So, the church is under attack by it's own leaders. When I doubted that dream I asked for another with the same meaning. I had forgotten about that dream until the other day when doubt was attacking again. The second dream was the cast from Happy Days. They were laughing and dancing while in the woods behind them, I saw dark shadows moving about. The part of the dream that I never understood until just now was the mom from Happy Days was leaning against a big rock. Mom's in my dreams usually represent the pastor. She was leaning on the rock, not standing on it. She was glaring at me and she was not happy. Why? Because I am telling people that the enemy has infiltrated the church. Even when a bad church collapses those wounded people and their hurt and their demons are spread to many other churches. Who walks them through healing? Instead we cheer them on while they build new churches that are rooted in their wounds.
We are focusing on the symptoms and not the real issues. The pastor is too busy focusing on addiction and divorce and things the enemy has done instead of showing us how to bind him. Is this because it is what he is dealing with in private? We would not allow a drunk (on alcohol) pastor to preach, would we? Would we cover it up? Drunkenness is noticeable, but what if he is lusting, judging, or hating while he preaches? Teaching us how to hear, heal, and cast out demons would sound more like teaching us to be like Jesus than focusing on grace when we mess up. Aren't we supposed to be renewed by grace? Grace doesn't mean to stay in your crap and know you are still saved. Not only are you healed and forgiven, but pick up your mat, clean up your mess and get out there. People are dying and yes, they are going to hell. What are we supposed to do Pastor when our friends die and we know they do not believe? How do we comfort their families? Do we tell them the truth? Who told us the truth? I even heard it said at a funeral a while back that God was probably standing there waiting for this man with a beer for him. Really? The man loved his beer, dedicated more of his life to beer than Jesus and they really believe God is standing there with a beer for him? Where did they hear their truth?
The Church in America is so focused on keeping their rose colored glasses clean that they don't hear the cries of those who are dying and being packed off by demons. We just medicate the sick and dying so we don't have to hear their screams instead of healing them through our hands and through the name of Jesus. If the Church was teaching us our identity in Christ, our TRUE identity those sins, addictions, etc. would fall away. I am angry. It is a righteous anger. In the dream that I had when the pickup ran over the Church, I was standing amongst a group of people on their cell phones texting and talking. The Lord told me, He is sending the message, but nobody is listening. The demonic was driving the high priest, the lead pastor running over the Church and the people God was telling were saying things like, "It'll be okay" and "It will die anyway."
Matthew 11:20 (NASB)
20 Then He began to denounce the cities in which most of His [a]miracles were done, because they did not repent.
Call me a troublemaker, upsetter of the peace, whatever you will, but know this, if I don't speak out, the death, the sin is on my head and not the sinner. The game is not a game at all. It's a war. While so many people are coloring their hair and nails crazy colors, the jerseys in this war are replaced by robes and the colors are black or white.
“Repentance must dig the foundations, but holiness shall erect the structure, and bring forth the top-stone. Repentance is the clearing away of the rubbish of the past temple of sin; holiness builds the new temple which the Lord our God shall inherit. Repentance and desires after holiness never can be separated.”
― Charles H. Spurgeon
― Charles H. Spurgeon
Yesterday I sat alone watching the championship game. This game would decide one of the two Superbowl teams. Though I was alone, every time a touchdown was scored, in my mind, I could hear rooms full of people cheering, yelling, making manly grunting noises. It made me sad. Fans of the Seattle team even have their own name, the 12th man. I hear all this talk about unity in the church and how we are to achieve it and then church lets out and unity is achieved in thousands of homes in front of a TV screen as they cheer for their team. There is unity in sports. People wear the team colors, even painting their nails and hair. Why can't we have this in the church. We all gather by the thousands causing blackouts and water issues at halftime cause we are all running to the bathroom at the same time. They even measure the "Fakequake" the fans cause with their cheering when there is a touchdown, but when a soul is saved and announced in church, we often resort to the "golf clap"
This is what I call a false unity. It will be over when the season ends. Even 9/11 caused a unity in this country, but I believe it was a false unity because it died off rather quickly. I come as a fairly new believer and there are things I just don't understand. In order for something to grow, it needs roots. Where are the roots of Christianity in this country? Where are the elders? Who do we go to with our questions? Aren't we supposed to have teachers? Also, aren't the teachers supposed to learn from their students. Instead I see teachers turning on their students, because they do not agree with their teachers, and actually question their teaching. Where is that in the Bible? All we get is a shoulder shrug. I hear these churches trying to draw in unbelievers. Where is that in the bible? Isn't the Church supposed to go out and meet them where they are at? I hear it being preached that Jesus meets us where we are at. Well, I am at the grocery store, at my job, walking down the street, etc. etc. I don't see you followers of Jesus.
I talked to God about this the other day. I believe the picture I saw was from Him. Men were calling out to people, "Come over here" and there were flashing lights and other things to draw customers in. When I asked God what He was showing me I heard the word carnival. Games, food and rides. They all represent the Church. There are the rides that are a thrill and then they are over. There is the food that is not nutritious, only good for our taste buds and there are the games that only take our money. The people at each station are yelling out for us to come to them, for the most fun. If you want to win, come to my booth, we believe the Sabbath is on Saturday. No, no, come over here, we only teach grace, cause that is all that matters. We have the booths, rides, food trailers, each representing the different focuses in the church buildings We teach through the King James, we don't believe in hell, we speak in tongues, we don't. Everybody is trying to draw in the unbeliever, yet do they even talk to them to see why they don't go to church? Maybe they don't like carnivals? Maybe they have been lied to all their lives and don't want to play anymore. Maybe they have PTSD and hate crowds. Maybe they hate hearing about grace and then getting yelled at to repent when they tell the truth. Maybe they are waiting for someone to care enough to find them where they are at. Maybe they want the truth that is written in the Holy Bible even if it hurts.
Where does the bible speak of being comfortable? Where does it talk about Jesus gathering up comfortable couches and serving cold drinks, before speaking to a crowd? Where does it say, Jesus ordered them to build a huge building and draw people in? Where does it say, we don't discipline our brothers and sisters, we just give grace and continue allowing them to influence the people? Jesus spoke Truth. He walked around the country from town to town and people who had heard of Him came to hear. Where did they hear about Him? On the street? Or did they meander into a big building and ask what was going on?
Last night I looked up four words in the Concordance and was surprised how many times those words were spoken by Jesus. He only says what the Father says. Love, loves, loved, etc was spoken 70 times by Jesus in the Bible. Forgive in all it's forms was spoken by Him 37 times and repent was 27. The first word I looked up that surprised me the most was the word "Grace" It was spoken one time. My grace is sufficient. If this is any kind of scale as to how we should be teaching we are in big trouble.
Maybe there are things I don't see or understand but these are the things the Lord is speaking to me and as a somewhat new believer this is my most honest truth about what I see. I do know people and hear stories of them speaking to people in the marketplace. Those people don't brag about how many chairs they filled last Sunday, but they do brag about how awesome their God is. It's embarrassing to see the individual churches look more like a billboard than a safe place. We offer classes, coffee and comfort. Really? How about Truth, which booth do I have to go to in order to find Truth. Even if it hurts, I want it. Teach me to hear God and then I will tell you if He wants me sprinkled or dunked. Stop giving me the "Do as I say, not as I do" crap I got growing up. People in the world who have never entered a church can read "Fake" a lot easier than most of the people who have been sitting there for years. If the pastor disappeared, would they know how to feed themselves.
Maybe there are so many denominations and beliefs because God never intended the Church to be a building and so He won't give one church all the truth. Maybe the one with the truth is the one pounding the pavement for the Lord. So as we argue about beliefs and then go home to drink a beer and watch the game, I have to ask, what is with all this disagreement and why is it so huge? Because as long as we are focused on this little stuff, we are not united. We are not focusing on the real battle. How many unbelievers died blocks from us while we were cheering on our team? Would we have left the game to talk with them or scheduled an appointment for after the game or even better yet, for Monday.
Another thing the Lord and I have been talking about is the state of the nation. We all sit around talking about how the enemy is taking over this country, this world and how the times are getting so bad. The state the world is in is the responsibility of the Church. We are talking about our own failure. If you want to meet for a weekend service, how often do we take the time to pray for this nation, for the leaders, for the world? We have authority to bind the enemies hands. We focus on each person, each unbeliever, each play in the game, when this is a much bigger deal. This is war.
The other day as I was wrestling with doubt, the Lord reminded me of dreams He gave me over three years ago. I had a dream that a megachurch pastor was being run over by a blue Ford pickup. It was over two years that He explained the details of the dream. The pastor represented the Church and he was being run over by a demon driving a blue pickup. The blue was the color of the high priest. So, the church is under attack by it's own leaders. When I doubted that dream I asked for another with the same meaning. I had forgotten about that dream until the other day when doubt was attacking again. The second dream was the cast from Happy Days. They were laughing and dancing while in the woods behind them, I saw dark shadows moving about. The part of the dream that I never understood until just now was the mom from Happy Days was leaning against a big rock. Mom's in my dreams usually represent the pastor. She was leaning on the rock, not standing on it. She was glaring at me and she was not happy. Why? Because I am telling people that the enemy has infiltrated the church. Even when a bad church collapses those wounded people and their hurt and their demons are spread to many other churches. Who walks them through healing? Instead we cheer them on while they build new churches that are rooted in their wounds.
We are focusing on the symptoms and not the real issues. The pastor is too busy focusing on addiction and divorce and things the enemy has done instead of showing us how to bind him. Is this because it is what he is dealing with in private? We would not allow a drunk (on alcohol) pastor to preach, would we? Would we cover it up? Drunkenness is noticeable, but what if he is lusting, judging, or hating while he preaches? Teaching us how to hear, heal, and cast out demons would sound more like teaching us to be like Jesus than focusing on grace when we mess up. Aren't we supposed to be renewed by grace? Grace doesn't mean to stay in your crap and know you are still saved. Not only are you healed and forgiven, but pick up your mat, clean up your mess and get out there. People are dying and yes, they are going to hell. What are we supposed to do Pastor when our friends die and we know they do not believe? How do we comfort their families? Do we tell them the truth? Who told us the truth? I even heard it said at a funeral a while back that God was probably standing there waiting for this man with a beer for him. Really? The man loved his beer, dedicated more of his life to beer than Jesus and they really believe God is standing there with a beer for him? Where did they hear their truth?
The Church in America is so focused on keeping their rose colored glasses clean that they don't hear the cries of those who are dying and being packed off by demons. We just medicate the sick and dying so we don't have to hear their screams instead of healing them through our hands and through the name of Jesus. If the Church was teaching us our identity in Christ, our TRUE identity those sins, addictions, etc. would fall away. I am angry. It is a righteous anger. In the dream that I had when the pickup ran over the Church, I was standing amongst a group of people on their cell phones texting and talking. The Lord told me, He is sending the message, but nobody is listening. The demonic was driving the high priest, the lead pastor running over the Church and the people God was telling were saying things like, "It'll be okay" and "It will die anyway."
Matthew 11:20 (NASB)
20 Then He began to denounce the cities in which most of His [a]miracles were done, because they did not repent.
Call me a troublemaker, upsetter of the peace, whatever you will, but know this, if I don't speak out, the death, the sin is on my head and not the sinner. The game is not a game at all. It's a war. While so many people are coloring their hair and nails crazy colors, the jerseys in this war are replaced by robes and the colors are black or white.
“Repentance must dig the foundations, but holiness shall erect the structure, and bring forth the top-stone. Repentance is the clearing away of the rubbish of the past temple of sin; holiness builds the new temple which the Lord our God shall inherit. Repentance and desires after holiness never can be separated.”
― Charles H. Spurgeon
Friday, January 9, 2015
The F word? Forgive
“In the shadow of my hurt, forgiveness feel like a decision to reward my enemy. But in the shadow of the cross, forgiveness is merely a gift from one undeserving soul to another.”
― Andy Stanley, It Came from Within!: The Shocking Truth of What Lurks in the Heart
That last post brought me into a few deep conversations that helped me to see this more clearly. When God reminded me of the verse Daniel 9:24 that begins with the Seventy weeks have been decreed, determined, etc. it didn't even register with me at the time that seventy weeks is 70 times 7. It is about rebuilding. Forgiveness is the root to rebuilding cities, nations and people.
After realizing this and some discussion, I wanted to learn more about what Jesus means when He says to follow Him. Take up your cross and follow? In our human minds we get a picture of one entity walking behind another, but when I looked up the word follow in Greek from the verse Luke 9:23 and many other verses that talk about following the words "as a particle of union" hit me hard. I immediately see drops of water falling into a river. This is how closely He wants us to follow, that we become one with Him, if He flows to the east, we flow with Him, around ever turn. God's arms form the river bed as we all move together and once the drops (His people) fall into the river and become one with Him, can they ever again be separated? No, but they can pool off into stagnant water and stop moving.
I see the first step in forgiveness is to speak the words. There is life and death in the tongue. When I first spoke the words, "I forgive them", I did not feel it. I did not want to forgive, but I wanted to obey and I wanted to be free. Once those words were out there, I had to flow with Jesus and allow Him to instruct my next steps and as we have walked together through forgiving I am now at a point where I want that total freedom for those who hurt me. I want that freedom for every person, but what I see is forgiveness seems to be the fence so many believers are sitting on. Some choose to stay on the side of not forgiving. Some seem to say the words, but not want to step into a deeper forgiveness on the side of the Lord, of growth, of freedom. Giving forgiveness and even receiving the forgiveness on the deeper level Christ wants for us seems to be the place we get stuck.
To say the words is the first step, but it is a surface step. It's a lot easier to forgive over and over on a surface level of just speaking it, than to forgive on a deeper level, layer and find that freedom promised to us.
In the story of Naaman he is told to go wash in the Jordan seven times and he would be healed of the leprosy. Naaman wanted a quicker fix, "Can't I just..." How many times do we say these words to God when He is asking us to do something? I used to try to bargain with Him more often than I do now. Naaman washing seven times in dirty water is an excellent picture of the Lord asking us to forgive. What looks like getting your hands dirty is actually going to clean you of the disease of unforgiveness. Joshua is instructed to walk around the walls of Jericho 7 times. With both Naaman and Joshua's stories I can see it takes faith to continue. Just as in forgiveness, with each layer it gets a little harder to have the faith that one day you can be completely free. We can come up with every excuse not to forgive, not to follow Jesus, not to obey on the deepest level.
I saw this video yesterday.
I also see where people, including myself find it much easier to accept forgiveness for our transgressions ( Outward sin ) like adultery, stealing, lying than to accept complete forgiveness and complete healing for our iniquities, (Inward motivation that drives us toward sin) lust, hate, attitude. We say things like, "That's just the way I am built" or "It's the thorn in my flesh". But Isaiah 53:5 says "5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed."
I heard a pastor point out his wounds were outward and His bruises were inward. We can be completely free. We can and must if we are truly following Jesus, a particle of union, set others free.
John 20:23 (NASB)
23 If you forgive the sins of any, their sins [a]have been forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they have been retained.”
― Andy Stanley, It Came from Within!: The Shocking Truth of What Lurks in the Heart
That last post brought me into a few deep conversations that helped me to see this more clearly. When God reminded me of the verse Daniel 9:24 that begins with the Seventy weeks have been decreed, determined, etc. it didn't even register with me at the time that seventy weeks is 70 times 7. It is about rebuilding. Forgiveness is the root to rebuilding cities, nations and people.
After realizing this and some discussion, I wanted to learn more about what Jesus means when He says to follow Him. Take up your cross and follow? In our human minds we get a picture of one entity walking behind another, but when I looked up the word follow in Greek from the verse Luke 9:23 and many other verses that talk about following the words "as a particle of union" hit me hard. I immediately see drops of water falling into a river. This is how closely He wants us to follow, that we become one with Him, if He flows to the east, we flow with Him, around ever turn. God's arms form the river bed as we all move together and once the drops (His people) fall into the river and become one with Him, can they ever again be separated? No, but they can pool off into stagnant water and stop moving.
I see the first step in forgiveness is to speak the words. There is life and death in the tongue. When I first spoke the words, "I forgive them", I did not feel it. I did not want to forgive, but I wanted to obey and I wanted to be free. Once those words were out there, I had to flow with Jesus and allow Him to instruct my next steps and as we have walked together through forgiving I am now at a point where I want that total freedom for those who hurt me. I want that freedom for every person, but what I see is forgiveness seems to be the fence so many believers are sitting on. Some choose to stay on the side of not forgiving. Some seem to say the words, but not want to step into a deeper forgiveness on the side of the Lord, of growth, of freedom. Giving forgiveness and even receiving the forgiveness on the deeper level Christ wants for us seems to be the place we get stuck.
To say the words is the first step, but it is a surface step. It's a lot easier to forgive over and over on a surface level of just speaking it, than to forgive on a deeper level, layer and find that freedom promised to us.
In the story of Naaman he is told to go wash in the Jordan seven times and he would be healed of the leprosy. Naaman wanted a quicker fix, "Can't I just..." How many times do we say these words to God when He is asking us to do something? I used to try to bargain with Him more often than I do now. Naaman washing seven times in dirty water is an excellent picture of the Lord asking us to forgive. What looks like getting your hands dirty is actually going to clean you of the disease of unforgiveness. Joshua is instructed to walk around the walls of Jericho 7 times. With both Naaman and Joshua's stories I can see it takes faith to continue. Just as in forgiveness, with each layer it gets a little harder to have the faith that one day you can be completely free. We can come up with every excuse not to forgive, not to follow Jesus, not to obey on the deepest level.
I saw this video yesterday.
I also see where people, including myself find it much easier to accept forgiveness for our transgressions ( Outward sin ) like adultery, stealing, lying than to accept complete forgiveness and complete healing for our iniquities, (Inward motivation that drives us toward sin) lust, hate, attitude. We say things like, "That's just the way I am built" or "It's the thorn in my flesh". But Isaiah 53:5 says "5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed."
I heard a pastor point out his wounds were outward and His bruises were inward. We can be completely free. We can and must if we are truly following Jesus, a particle of union, set others free.
John 20:23 (NASB)
23 If you forgive the sins of any, their sins [a]have been forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they have been retained.”
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Forgive once, Deeply!
“Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.
My world has gone crazy. I have had so much going on I can barely sort my thoughts. While the storm is raging around my boat and I am trying to hold on for dear life, Jesus shows up and says, "Hey, Get out of the boat." Are you crazy? This is not a time to test my water walking skills.
A friend asked me to dinner and while she was away from the table I heard the Lord speak, "I want you to write your dad a heart felt letter. Let him know you love him and that he is completely forgiven." That's easy. I can do that. I confidently said, "We can talk about this in more detail later." Then my friend sat down with a "Get out of the boat" expression. "Hey, I just had a vision of you writing a letter and I could see the words "I forgive you"." Well if that wasn't confirmation enough, but instantly I was hit with a knowing that Dad was only the beginning. I would be writing letters to each of those who abused me. Several thoughts flooded my mind for the next day or so. Some of them were mine and some were from the Lord.
One thing He showed me was what I had received from my true friends for Christmas was shoes and contacts. Some may think I am making something out of nothing here, but what the Lord showed me was that He has surrounded me with the relationships I need to walk me through this journey (shoes) and help me see clearly (contacts). It was a relief to me.
I have forgiven. I feel no anger toward these people. Why now do I contact them? I thought it was finished. Okay God, You are going to have to teach me about forgiveness. I open my heart and my mind for whatever You want to show me. Wow. The last few days have been an intimate ride down a path I never expected. Earlier in the day my friend and I had been talking and out of the blue I heard the Lord say something about the 7 spirits of God and we forgive 70 times 7. I said it out loud and forgot about it, until I got home that night and was thinking about writing the letters. A few of my friends were sharing a writing on the 7 spirits of God and so I asked for a copy, but when I started to read it, the Lord said "No. I don't want you to focus on this, I want you to have a clear mind and hear me." This wasn't the first time He said "No" to me when my friends were studying something and I began to join in, so I stopped reading and put it away.
Forgive 70 times 7. Several times in the Bible when the Lord wants to give an infinite number He uses grains of sand, hairs on our head, stars in the sky, things that are too numerous to count. He didn't do that here. We can actually multiply this number and come up with an answer. Why? I have heard many times that this means infinite, but I wasn't feeling that.
I got out the Concordance and began to look up the words describing the seven spirits of God and though I felt Jesus was telling me not to go too deep in this area, there was a definite feeling of God's completeness. There were also words that stood out to me. In Hebrew one of the words used to describe the spirit of the Lord were eternal. Forgiveness should be eternal and our forgiveness is. The spirit of Counsel brought out the words purpose and resolve. The spirit of Might brought me to the words victory and mastery. We can have victory in forgiveness. Though I did not focus too much in this area, the one thing I got was forgiveness should be complete. What if 70 times 7 is the dimensions or quality of forgiveness and not the quantity.
If we were made in the image of Christ then we should have or be able to attain the 7 spirits of God. I don't totally understand this 7 spirits thing, but I strongly feel it is about completeness. We were made in His image, we are to strive to be like Jesus. God did not send His son every time we sinned. He died once for every sin committed and every sin that would be committed. We forgive the person, not the sin. The sin belongs to the enemy. We are not to be offended. We are to forgive that person so completely that we can never be offended by them or what they did again?
So if 7 represents the completeness and the layers or depth of forgiveness, what does 70 mean? I looked up every instance where the bible uses the number seventy. Seventy elders, seventy sons, army of seventy thousand, I'm wasn't seeing anything until BAM. Daniel 9:24, I had been given this verse a couple years ago when God said He was lifting His hand off a particular church.
Daniel 9:24 (NASB)
24 “Seventy weeks have been decreed for your people and your holy city, to finish the transgression, to make an end of sin, to make atonement for iniquity, to bring in everlasting righteousness, to seal up vision and prophecy and to anoint the most holy place.
Instructions on how to finish the transgression? The way I read this there are 7 things to do in 70 weeks. Mariam, Moses sister was struck with leprosy and when Moses asked God to forgive her, God sent her out of the camp for 7 weeks, Nebuchadnezzar was eating with the beasts for 7 years. I'm wondering if 70 is a time allotment? Not that we have a certain amount of time to forgive, but that we keep at it until it's done. We don't throw it on the back burner because it needs to be started immediately and as long as we are striving toward complete forgiveness He will show us the way or ways, layers, parts to complete forgiveness. It's a process. It's His timing.
I had to look at Jesus on the cross. That was all about forgiveness. The whole crucifixion was about forgiveness and love. When Jesus was crucified, He did not have to ask for forgiveness because He had not sinned, but He asked the Father to forgive them for they know not what they do and I think He was talking about all of us. We ask for forgiveness for ourselves, but what about asking for forgiveness for others. If we want to be like Jesus, I'm seeing this as a must. The Lord commands us to forgive, it's not a request and Jesus as our example asks the Father to forgive others. God sacrificed his Son and Jesus suffered, though He had done nothing wrong and He suffered for us who had sinned against Him. Who are we not to suffer for those who have sinned against us, hurt us, even if we have done nothing wrong?
One other thing the Lord has been talking to me about is communion. We must first examine ourselves. I can't count how many times I took communion before I heard this explained. I wonder how many people are sitting in church buildings examining themselves and finding nothing to forgive or be forgiven? Making excuses in their own minds why they don't have to. Do they understand the importance of examining ourselves? Is this why so many in the Church are asleep?
1 Corinthians 11:27-32 (NASB)
27 Therefore whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner, shall be guilty of the body and the blood of the Lord. 28 But a man must examine himself, and in so doing he is to eat of the bread and drink of the cup. 29 For he who eats and drinks, eats and drinks judgment to himself if he does not judge the body rightly. 30 For this reason many among you are weak and sick, and a number [a]sleep. 31 But if we judged ourselves rightly, we would not be judged. 32 But when we are judged, we are disciplined by the Lord so that we will not be condemned along with the world.
God wants to forgive us enough that He sent His only begotten Son to suffer through a horrendous death so we can be reconciled to Him. Why are we so afraid to allow him to shine His light into our dark places and heal, forgive and love us? I want freedom so badly, I don't care how bad it hurts to get there. I'm not stopping. I believe we are to leave the door open, take it off it's hinges, for God to shine a light into our hearts and show us what we need to heal. He took the first step in Jesus crucifixion, now it is our turn. The forgiveness is there and has been presented to us, all we have to do is ask for it. We also need to be willing to give it - For - Give.
I had told the Lord weeks ago that I want to be a person with no offense. I want to be that person you can do or say anything to and I don't react. I don't get offended. I don't want to have anything to ask forgiveness for. I am a long way from being this person I want to be, but when the Lord addressed my request we began the conversation on forgiveness. I believe what He showed me is that we forgive the person, not the sin. We forgive the person on such a deep Godly level that nothing they have done to us is remembered and future sins are already forgiven. Isn't that how He loves us?
I think we need to get all of our wounds, garbage, baggage, whatever you want to call it, out of the way, cleaned up, dealt with, so when we are asking God for forgiveness, it is always for others. Moses still made mistakes, but how many times did He ask God to forgive those who followed him? Stephen was stoned to death and his last request was forgiveness of those who stoned him. How many of us on our death bed would be thinking of forgiving others? God told Job to pray for his friends after all He had allowed the enemy to do to Job. Was he asking God to forgive them? Probably. David was a man after God's own heart who had opportunity to kill Saul, but he loved him and saw him as God's child and left him for God to deal with. Vengeance is not ours, but forgiveness is ours to freely take and/or give.
The first part of forgiveness no matter if we are asking God to forgive us or another person, whether we are giving forgiveness, or forgiving ourselves is to take responsibility. No matter what anyone else is doing, saying or believing, I can do something about this situation. Jesus was sinless as he stood in the gap. God is looking for people to intercede, to stand in the gap and I believe it is our responsibility to be like Jesus mostly in love and forgiveness.
So I write my letters when and to whom God tells me. After focusing on forgiveness in such deep and intimate time with God, I have such a deep desire for others, for all abusers to have freedom, to be forgiven, to forgive themselves and to reach a place in their relationship with Jesus that they can't wait to set others free. As I was forgiven before I committed sin, those who abused and hurt me were forgiven by God before they committed any sin against me. We will never know how much it cost to see our sins upon that cross.
Jeremiah 29:10-13 (NASB)
10 “For thus says the Lord, ‘When seventy years have been completed for Babylon, I will visit you and fulfill My good word to you, to bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans that I [a]have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.
― Martin Luther King Jr.
My world has gone crazy. I have had so much going on I can barely sort my thoughts. While the storm is raging around my boat and I am trying to hold on for dear life, Jesus shows up and says, "Hey, Get out of the boat." Are you crazy? This is not a time to test my water walking skills.
A friend asked me to dinner and while she was away from the table I heard the Lord speak, "I want you to write your dad a heart felt letter. Let him know you love him and that he is completely forgiven." That's easy. I can do that. I confidently said, "We can talk about this in more detail later." Then my friend sat down with a "Get out of the boat" expression. "Hey, I just had a vision of you writing a letter and I could see the words "I forgive you"." Well if that wasn't confirmation enough, but instantly I was hit with a knowing that Dad was only the beginning. I would be writing letters to each of those who abused me. Several thoughts flooded my mind for the next day or so. Some of them were mine and some were from the Lord.
One thing He showed me was what I had received from my true friends for Christmas was shoes and contacts. Some may think I am making something out of nothing here, but what the Lord showed me was that He has surrounded me with the relationships I need to walk me through this journey (shoes) and help me see clearly (contacts). It was a relief to me.
I have forgiven. I feel no anger toward these people. Why now do I contact them? I thought it was finished. Okay God, You are going to have to teach me about forgiveness. I open my heart and my mind for whatever You want to show me. Wow. The last few days have been an intimate ride down a path I never expected. Earlier in the day my friend and I had been talking and out of the blue I heard the Lord say something about the 7 spirits of God and we forgive 70 times 7. I said it out loud and forgot about it, until I got home that night and was thinking about writing the letters. A few of my friends were sharing a writing on the 7 spirits of God and so I asked for a copy, but when I started to read it, the Lord said "No. I don't want you to focus on this, I want you to have a clear mind and hear me." This wasn't the first time He said "No" to me when my friends were studying something and I began to join in, so I stopped reading and put it away.
Forgive 70 times 7. Several times in the Bible when the Lord wants to give an infinite number He uses grains of sand, hairs on our head, stars in the sky, things that are too numerous to count. He didn't do that here. We can actually multiply this number and come up with an answer. Why? I have heard many times that this means infinite, but I wasn't feeling that.
I got out the Concordance and began to look up the words describing the seven spirits of God and though I felt Jesus was telling me not to go too deep in this area, there was a definite feeling of God's completeness. There were also words that stood out to me. In Hebrew one of the words used to describe the spirit of the Lord were eternal. Forgiveness should be eternal and our forgiveness is. The spirit of Counsel brought out the words purpose and resolve. The spirit of Might brought me to the words victory and mastery. We can have victory in forgiveness. Though I did not focus too much in this area, the one thing I got was forgiveness should be complete. What if 70 times 7 is the dimensions or quality of forgiveness and not the quantity.
If we were made in the image of Christ then we should have or be able to attain the 7 spirits of God. I don't totally understand this 7 spirits thing, but I strongly feel it is about completeness. We were made in His image, we are to strive to be like Jesus. God did not send His son every time we sinned. He died once for every sin committed and every sin that would be committed. We forgive the person, not the sin. The sin belongs to the enemy. We are not to be offended. We are to forgive that person so completely that we can never be offended by them or what they did again?
So if 7 represents the completeness and the layers or depth of forgiveness, what does 70 mean? I looked up every instance where the bible uses the number seventy. Seventy elders, seventy sons, army of seventy thousand, I'm wasn't seeing anything until BAM. Daniel 9:24, I had been given this verse a couple years ago when God said He was lifting His hand off a particular church.
Daniel 9:24 (NASB)
24 “Seventy weeks have been decreed for your people and your holy city, to finish the transgression, to make an end of sin, to make atonement for iniquity, to bring in everlasting righteousness, to seal up vision and prophecy and to anoint the most holy place.
Instructions on how to finish the transgression? The way I read this there are 7 things to do in 70 weeks. Mariam, Moses sister was struck with leprosy and when Moses asked God to forgive her, God sent her out of the camp for 7 weeks, Nebuchadnezzar was eating with the beasts for 7 years. I'm wondering if 70 is a time allotment? Not that we have a certain amount of time to forgive, but that we keep at it until it's done. We don't throw it on the back burner because it needs to be started immediately and as long as we are striving toward complete forgiveness He will show us the way or ways, layers, parts to complete forgiveness. It's a process. It's His timing.
I had to look at Jesus on the cross. That was all about forgiveness. The whole crucifixion was about forgiveness and love. When Jesus was crucified, He did not have to ask for forgiveness because He had not sinned, but He asked the Father to forgive them for they know not what they do and I think He was talking about all of us. We ask for forgiveness for ourselves, but what about asking for forgiveness for others. If we want to be like Jesus, I'm seeing this as a must. The Lord commands us to forgive, it's not a request and Jesus as our example asks the Father to forgive others. God sacrificed his Son and Jesus suffered, though He had done nothing wrong and He suffered for us who had sinned against Him. Who are we not to suffer for those who have sinned against us, hurt us, even if we have done nothing wrong?
One other thing the Lord has been talking to me about is communion. We must first examine ourselves. I can't count how many times I took communion before I heard this explained. I wonder how many people are sitting in church buildings examining themselves and finding nothing to forgive or be forgiven? Making excuses in their own minds why they don't have to. Do they understand the importance of examining ourselves? Is this why so many in the Church are asleep?
1 Corinthians 11:27-32 (NASB)
27 Therefore whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner, shall be guilty of the body and the blood of the Lord. 28 But a man must examine himself, and in so doing he is to eat of the bread and drink of the cup. 29 For he who eats and drinks, eats and drinks judgment to himself if he does not judge the body rightly. 30 For this reason many among you are weak and sick, and a number [a]sleep. 31 But if we judged ourselves rightly, we would not be judged. 32 But when we are judged, we are disciplined by the Lord so that we will not be condemned along with the world.
God wants to forgive us enough that He sent His only begotten Son to suffer through a horrendous death so we can be reconciled to Him. Why are we so afraid to allow him to shine His light into our dark places and heal, forgive and love us? I want freedom so badly, I don't care how bad it hurts to get there. I'm not stopping. I believe we are to leave the door open, take it off it's hinges, for God to shine a light into our hearts and show us what we need to heal. He took the first step in Jesus crucifixion, now it is our turn. The forgiveness is there and has been presented to us, all we have to do is ask for it. We also need to be willing to give it - For - Give.
I had told the Lord weeks ago that I want to be a person with no offense. I want to be that person you can do or say anything to and I don't react. I don't get offended. I don't want to have anything to ask forgiveness for. I am a long way from being this person I want to be, but when the Lord addressed my request we began the conversation on forgiveness. I believe what He showed me is that we forgive the person, not the sin. We forgive the person on such a deep Godly level that nothing they have done to us is remembered and future sins are already forgiven. Isn't that how He loves us?
I think we need to get all of our wounds, garbage, baggage, whatever you want to call it, out of the way, cleaned up, dealt with, so when we are asking God for forgiveness, it is always for others. Moses still made mistakes, but how many times did He ask God to forgive those who followed him? Stephen was stoned to death and his last request was forgiveness of those who stoned him. How many of us on our death bed would be thinking of forgiving others? God told Job to pray for his friends after all He had allowed the enemy to do to Job. Was he asking God to forgive them? Probably. David was a man after God's own heart who had opportunity to kill Saul, but he loved him and saw him as God's child and left him for God to deal with. Vengeance is not ours, but forgiveness is ours to freely take and/or give.
The first part of forgiveness no matter if we are asking God to forgive us or another person, whether we are giving forgiveness, or forgiving ourselves is to take responsibility. No matter what anyone else is doing, saying or believing, I can do something about this situation. Jesus was sinless as he stood in the gap. God is looking for people to intercede, to stand in the gap and I believe it is our responsibility to be like Jesus mostly in love and forgiveness.
So I write my letters when and to whom God tells me. After focusing on forgiveness in such deep and intimate time with God, I have such a deep desire for others, for all abusers to have freedom, to be forgiven, to forgive themselves and to reach a place in their relationship with Jesus that they can't wait to set others free. As I was forgiven before I committed sin, those who abused and hurt me were forgiven by God before they committed any sin against me. We will never know how much it cost to see our sins upon that cross.
Jeremiah 29:10-13 (NASB)
10 “For thus says the Lord, ‘When seventy years have been completed for Babylon, I will visit you and fulfill My good word to you, to bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans that I [a]have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.
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