Is that a Mirror?

“Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.”
― C.S. Lewis



      Lesson 444 in growing with God.  This one was a little HUGE.  I've been under attack a lot lately.  The Lord said there are people praying for me, but they are praying out of God's will for me.  They don't mean to harm me, but they are opening doors for the enemy.  I have been breaking off these curses and doing spiritual warfare daily.  He told me specifically someone is praying against my writing.  That's okay, because He is my strength.  But then came the big lesson.
     I was having a little pity party on my couch.  Just me and God.  I was telling Him how unfair life is.  It started out with a lot of, "Why did you even put this person in my life?  Why can't they see the truth?  I asked you to prove you care about me and you give me this person?"  Then I asked Him straight out, "How can someone be so angry they could be so mean?"  Then three little words, He said back to me, "You're asking me?"  Wham!!  Who better to know how anger can affect behavior.  I have been angry and therefore mean, most of my life.  Oh yeah, I have cut some people with my words.  I have made people cry.  It's just like He reaches over, grabs a mirror off the table and holds it up in front of my face.  Ouch!  I began the defense.  What do you expect to come out of me?  I have been abused by half a dozen men in my life and now this one, of course I am pissed off and I have every right to be.  Plus, my anger has gotten so much better.  I have forgiven so much stuff.  I can't change over night.  I have come a long way.  Then I heard, "You have healed a lot of your wounds, but he hasn't."  Ouch. 
     How many times have I done this in my life?  I expect people to understand my behavior is a result of my life, but I don't give others the same.  This person does have old wounds that were never healed.  While I am yelling repentance, responsibility and admission of wrong doing, the Lord is asking me to pray for his healing.  How can I not?  When you look in the mirror and see how your wounds have affected your life and you ask God to heal you, how can you not have compassion for people with the same reaction to their wounds.  I get it!
     Then He wanted to take it one step further, because He is like that.  How did your behavior penetrate his wounds?  Those old wounds that we ignore and think we have healed can be so easily reopened by the right person.  I was beginning to see how my actions have felt like betrayal, even if I did not mean it that way.  Emotions tied to old wounds are not always in correct alignment.  Our emotions tied to an old wound have only matured as much as the wound has healed. 
     So many times all we see is an other's behavior, but we don't stop to look at how we instigated that behavior.  Sometimes intentional, but most times unintentional.  When we find out we have stuck our sharp little finger in an old wound we didn't even realize was there, we can better understand the reaction.  No matter if it's intentional or not, an apology could cause some healing.  So many times we speak from broken, immature emotions and usually it's those times that people look at us as though we have lost our mind, but it's impossible to act and react in a healthy way when we have an unhealed wound.  We all have them.
     After all this deep talk and mirror looking with the King, I have come to the conclusion that healing is the priority.  I have several friends who have a heart for the unbeliever and I do to, but I don't feel called to them.  My calling is more toward the person who has been sitting in church for years and they haven't changed one bit.  They have not experienced the full love and freedom of a relationship with Christ.  I especially feel for those who can't figure out why, after they have followed all the rules. 
     We have to stop hiding behind His grace and mercy and dismissing our unhappiness to a "I'm never going to get this right" mentality.  We have to open up our heart and let Him shine His light in on the darkness, the brokenness and heal it.  Healing has to happen before we can fully accept His love, forgiveness, freedom, grace and mercy. 
     I think too many of us live with that childhood fear that grabs our throat after hearing, "Wait until your father gets home."  We expect the Lord to shoot out a bolt of lightning and catch us in the back side.  But trust this, His discipline is gentle, shoot often times for me it's just the holding up of a mirror.  He wants more than anything to shine His light in the dark places of our heart so we can fully accept everything He is.  Seriously, when He shows us where we are lacking and we can fix that part of us, it gives us even more understanding of others and even more than that, a deeper understanding of His love for us.  He held up the mirror and hit me with the truth - not the other way around.  Ha.

“A carefully cultivated heart will, assisted by the grace of God, foresee, forestall, or transform most of the painful situations before which others stand like helpless children saying “Why?”
― Dallas Willard, Renovation of the Heart: Putting On the Character of Christ 

  

Grace and Forgiveness

Romans 6:15-18 (NIV)

Slaves to Righteousness

15 What then? Shall we sin because we are not under the law but under grace? By no means! 16 Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? 17 But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you have come to obey from your heart the pattern of teaching that has now claimed your allegiance. 18 You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.
 
     I have talked to so many people who think that to forgive someone is to allow them to continue in their behavior. This faulty belief system has stopped so many from forgiving.  It's really sad.  To forgive does not mean you can't walk away. 
     An abusive husband, parent, a friend who continually lies, a thief, no matter how you have been wronged and how many times you forgive you do not have to allow the person to stay in your life.  Grace, mercy and forgiveness are not a license to keep on sinning.  One verse really caught my attention.

Psalm 84:11

 

¹¹ For Jehovah God is our Light and our Protector. He gives us grace and glory. No good thing will he withhold from those who walk along his paths.

 

     He who walks along the Lord's path, not his own.  The Lord wants us to forgive and give grace and mercy, but he does not want us to be abused.  We are to forgive 7 times 70 but as C.S. Lewis says, we don't put the child molester back in the classroom. 

     God sometimes will have us speak into another's life, and continue in a friendship to speak that truth, but I believe He does not ask us to tolerate abuse and lies.  If your husband is cheating and has promised to change 100 times and failed, God says you can go.  If your friend lies to you regularly, God doesn't expect you to believe them, just because He asked you to forgive them.  Go!

     A person who is truly pursuing God, truly trying to walk the narrow path can be set free from addiction and bad behavior, but if they say, "Don't judge me.  Give me grace."  Do it and walk away.  A person who cannot see that they are doing wrong and hurting others will demand grace, but grace is a free gift given, so if a person is demanding it from you, then it's not really a gift anymore is it?  Give it to them anyway and walk away.  Go!

    

“...here also forgiving does not mean excusing. Many people seem to think it does. They think that if you ask them to forgive someone who has cheated or bullied them you are trying to make out that there was really no cheating or bullying. But if that were so, there would be nothing to forgive. (This doesn't mean that you must necessarily believe his next promise. It does mean that you must make every effort to kill every taste of resentment in your own heart - every wish to humiliate or hurt him or to pay him out.)”
― C.S. Lewis, Fern Seed And Elephants

 

 

His Hand.

“Good and evil both increase at compound interest. That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance. The smallest good act today is the capture of a strategic point from which, a few months later, you may be able to go on to victories you never dreamed of. An apparently trivial indulgence in lust or anger today is the loss of a ridge or railway line or bridgehead from which the enemy may launch an attack otherwise impossible.”
― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity  


     Most of us have a friend with a spoiled child.  You know that one you don't want to be seen in public with, because it's embarrassing.  The kid runs wild and free wanting more and more and it's all laid out in front of them.  You wait patiently or the day when Daddy's hand meets their backside and you almost feel guilty for wanting to see it happen.  This kid has no respect for anything or anyone and runs wild doing whatever enters their mind. 
     Most of the time these kids will finally run into a bully who sets them straight when they get older.  All of a sudden they realize that they can't have their way just because they want it.  They take what is not theirs, they go where they should not go, they get into other's business and Daddy just stands their seemingly doing nothing. 
     Then one day, just as you predicted, the bully beats the soup out of them and they run to Daddy crying.  At least we hope that's what they do.  The other option that some take is to run in agreement with the bully.  Sounds like our country doesn't it?
     Daddy's just about had enough and I believe He has turned us loose to be beat up by the bully's of this world.  Don't we deserve it?  We need a good spanking.  The Lord is that Daddy who knew what was going to happen if we did not listen.  We can try blaming it on Him, but really? 
     A lot of people live in their cozy little homes and have no idea what is going on next door.  Close the blinds and pretend everything is okay.  What we don't see does not exist?  I can see the day coming when the hand comes down and we all stand here with our hands behind our backs, covering our backsides with a pasted on face that reads, "I'm so sorry, Daddy.  Will you save me now."  But the consequences are most likely going to take place, no matter what we do with our eyelashes. 
     Too many people live with the false idea that everything will be okay as long as we are sorry.  I don't think so.  Sorry is not enough if we go right back out there and behave the same way.  It's scary to think about how many people believe they are God fearing, heaven bound, believers that have a big surprise coming.  Like that spoiled child they think they can do whatever they want as long as they have a little confession time with the Father.  But I believe Dad is saying, "That's it.  It is time for you to grow up, listen to me and change your ways."  I believe the hand bringing the pain to our rears is in motion, 
     You know that spoiled kid who just keeps doing the same thing over and over and you wonder if they will ever learn?  They use their Daddy's grace to continue in that life of misbehaving.  He is a good Dad.  He loves us right?  The greatest commandment is to love God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.  When you do this, you want to behave.  The desire to do those things that used to make you happy, goes away.  We all falsely sit on our couches watching things we shouldn't watch, drinking more than we should drink and saying things we shouldn't say.  But think about that spoiled kid.  If that child could just understand, truly understand how much his Daddy loves him, wouldn't he want to behave?  Wouldn't he want to please Dad?  He wouldn't want to do those things he used to do.
     We see those kids from healthy homes, where they know they are loved.  They do something good and look for Daddy's approval.  They expect Daddy's approval because they know they are going to receive it.  They know if they do nothing right, Daddy still loves them.  But they want to do right, because they love Him.  I think the most important thing for someone to do who struggles with sin, who does what they know they should not be doing, instead of making excuses, should totally focus on and study how much God loves them.  It sounds a little self absorbed for us who are dysfunctional, but He wants us to know.  I believe He wants that more than just about anything.  What a country, what a world this would be if each one of us knew how truly saturated in God's love we are.  If we knew it, then that's all that would flow out of us. 
     Remember the teacher who drilled holes in the paddle so what?  We would feel eternal pain?  The Father allowed the holes to be drilled through His Son's hand so we would feel eternal love.

John 3:14-18

King James Version (KJV)

¹⁴ And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of man be lifted up:
¹⁵ That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life.
¹⁶ For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
¹⁷ For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
¹⁸ He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

    

Addiction

“Jesus beckons me to follow him to that place of weakness where I risk the vulnerability of a child so that I might know how strong my Father is and how much he loves me. But truth be told, I would rather be an adult. I'd rather be in a place where I can still pull things together if God doesn't show up, where I risk no ultimate humiliation, where I don't have to take the shallow breaths of desperation. And as a result, my experience of my heavenly Father is simply impoverished.”
― Gary Haugen International Justice Mission


     Addiction is a powerful tool of the enemy.  Some time in a child's life a wound is inflicted.  Maybe it comes from a word or an action, but the wound is on the soul.  As the child grows the enemy whispers in their ear, constantly, "You are no good.  It is your fault.  You should be ashamed of yourself."  The shame grows deep in the soul and the torment gets more and more intense.  Then one day the enemy whispers, "This will make you feel better."  Maybe it's alcohol, a drug, porn, or eating, but it becomes a crutch.  It becomes the only freedom from the torment.  You try to stop, but when you do the pain from the unhealed wound becomes intense again.  It may be from such an early age that you don't even remember what the wound is. 
     You try not to fail again, but the need to escape the shame and pain is too intense, so you pick up the pipe, bottle, fork and the cycle goes around again.  You find that relief but it doesn't last as long as it used to and you are back to the torment, but the shame is even greater.  You have failed.  Just as the enemy told you that you would, you have failed again.  More drugs, more drink, more food, more, more, more and each little escape becomes shorter in duration. 
     You reach out for help, but nobody see the enemy in your ear.  It touches your family, your friends, your ability to work and have fun.  Like a plague it slowly takes over your world.  He has you right where he wants you.  Driving down the road, even on a good day, you suddenly hear him, "One little turn of the wheel and this pain will all be gone."  It's a temptation hard to ignore.  Then you hear him again, "You won't hurt any more, your family won't hurt anymore, the pain of your shame and guilt will all be over and peace will be every where."  This is a lie from the enemy.  First if you have not given your heart to Jesus, if you have not totally surrendered your life to him, you will spend eternity in hell.  Second, your family and friends will experience a new pain, a pain with no hope of you finding peace. 
     I have experienced this, on my way to church, looking forward to being with God, family and friends.  Things have been going well and then he whispers.  Why is it such a temptation?  The pain is a secret.  Sometimes it's even a secret from us.  We don't know or understand where it is coming from and why it is so deep.  Our lives may look good, like all is going well, but we can't escape that gnawing pain that has been there as long as we can remember.  We can't seem to find that one thing that we know we need, but we don't know what it is. 
     This is spiritual warfare.  This is what all addicts have to know to find peace.  The enemy has had you in his grip for so long, it is what you know.  We have to be taught how to fight the enemy, how to shut him up when he whispers in our ears.  "You will feel better with one little drink.  A good porn will take away this anxiety.  A box of chocolates will ease the hurt."  These are all lies the enemy uses to keep us running in circles. 
      I believe our treatment for addiction needs to be looked at differently.  We need to first, pray off any demonic strongholds, any presence that is whispering in our ears and keeping us captive.  Then we have to learn how to replace the lies of the enemy with the Truth of Christ and realize who we really are.  This is taking every thought captive, even those that are not ours and discern the lies of the enemy.  Then dig down, find that wound, talk about it, face it, and heal it.  Forgiveness closes the door on the enemy.  Forgiveness of others and ourselves.  We are not responsible for what the enemy does but we can learn how to be responsible for how we react.  We have to be taught who we are in Christ.  We have to be taught how to shut up the lies satan has been drilling into our heads.  We can't do it alone.  Society has to change it's belief that we choose this life, this addiction.  The enemy wants us to isolate, to believe we are alone.  The enemy is a LIAR!
     The Lord wants us to be free of addiction more than anyone else does.  He wants us to replace the enemy's lies with His Truth to truly set us free.  No more shame, no more guilt, no more secrets.  If you expose what the enemy is doing it takes away his power.  Please, pray that every addict will find freedom, Freedom in Christ. 

My heart is so heavy. I was sitting down this morning to catch up on FB, post Birthday blessing for my daughter....and I read one of my mom's from my mom's group-Crystal....just lost her 22 year old son this morning to a heroin OD after being 96 days clean. She is devastated. She wants to "go be with him". Oh please...this is not a choice.... These people are sick and we need a cure and compassion and to quit saying it is a choice! They are dropping right and left. No one chooses to be dead...this was not suicide, but many people do think suicide is their only way out....one mom RIGHT now is with her son in the hospital because he purposefully ran his car into a semi, another family is making the arrangements for a funeral because their son hung himself. These are people who have desperately fought their addiction in shame and with little compassion by the community for their disease. Many going to multiple treatment centers. Many struggling with co-disorders that precipitated the addiction. My son is one of those. Something has to change.

Monica Weidert

    

The Body, The Family

Genesis 3:14-15 (TLB)

14 So the Lord God said to the serpent, “This is your punishment: You are singled out from among all the domestic and wild animals of the whole earth—to be cursed. You shall grovel in the dust as long as you live, crawling along on your belly. 15 From now on you and the woman will be enemies, as will your offspring and hers. You will strike his heel, but he will crush your head.”


     I believe I have seen the enemy's plan. The Lord has exposed him through dreams and visions.  There are probably many people who are aware of this already, but it's becoming more and more clear to me.  We have to pray against this.  The enemy is an imitator of Christ.  He is not clever enough to come up with his own plans so he imitates the One who is all knowing.  God told the enemy his head would be crushed by man, so the enemy is attempting to crush man's head.   
     How do you kill or paralyze a living being?  You separate its body from it's head.  Way back in the beginning the Lord threatened the head of the enemy and now the enemy is using that same strategy.  Jesus is the head and we are the body.  The enemy can't take out Jesus, but he is trying to separate the body from the head.  He can do that by destroying communication.  He can do this by paralysis through injury to the connection between the head and the body.  I think we have all known for years this is the enemy's intent, but what if he is doing this on a smaller level, working his way up.
     What the Lord has been showing me is that even though the enemy cannot destroy the head of the Church (Jesus) he can separate us from Him.  He can also destroy the individual church by attacking the head (pastor or elders).  What's even better is to destroy the body through the head.  He is doing this in the church, the government and the family.  He has been working on this for some time.  First, if we look at the head of the family.  The man, husband, father role in America does not look the same as it did years ago.  Men are abandoning and abusing their families.  They are putting their own interests first through affairs, addictions (even to working), hobbies, etc.  In some families the man is being emasculated and the woman is wearing the pants.  The enemy is destroying the family through the head of the family, but it's taking out the whole body of the family.  He has all but destroyed the family structure in America. 
     Lately the Lord has been showing me how the enemy is destroying individual churches through the pastor.  I am not talking about any one specific church.  I believe the dreams the Lord has shown me represent many individual churches.  If the enemy can take down the pastor or leadership through his insecurities or weaknesses, eventually, if the body of the church doesn't see it, if the sheep don't wake up, the church will be destroyed.  I believe he is using the same tactics on the church families as on individual families.  Lust, greed, power, anger, etc. are all open doors for the enemy to get in.  These are all results of open wounds.  Open wounds are open doors.  It is so important that anyone in leadership constantly and consistently allow God to shine His light into their hearts and expose any darkness.  it is important that they be willing to allow this so they can address the wounds revealed and heal them. 
     I also believe this is happening in our government.  It is through the head of the government that the enemy is attacking this country.  As citizens of this country, all countries, all churches and all families, we as individuals can turn this all around with prayer.  Instead of criticizing, belittling, judging, etc, our leaders and people in authority, we have to recognize they are targets for the enemy and pray for them.  Not our will be done, but the Father's will be done in their lives. 
     If some one is under attack by the enemy, it does no good for us to condemn them.  In fact when we do this, we are cursing them.  We become part of the problem.  We also give the enemy authority to step into their lives and destroy.  We can't possibly know what they need or what they are facing, but we can pray, God's will in their lives and the daily bread to face it.  The biggest tool we have alongside prayer is forgiveness.  We have all these leaders of families, churches and this country, reacting from old wounds and the Lord has shown me the biggest destruction is coming through guilt and shame.  Forgiveness is the antidote for the poison of guilt and shame.  We need to be forgiving fathers, husbands, pastors, elders, presidents and all leadership.  We need to be putting men back where they belong in leadership.  This country is full of spoiled people with no respect for authority.  What if it is that lack of respect that has caused them to act disrespectful? 
     One last thing the Lord has shown me: in dreams the neck usually represents pride.  What is between the body and the head?  We all need to humble ourselves and respect authority.  Whether we are submitting to it or placed in the position of it.  We are all given some authority and should not abuse that privilege.  The system was created from the beginning of time, because of our sin.  Now it our sin that is destroying it.  


Acts 7:51
“You stiff-necked heathen! Must you forever resist the Holy Spirit? But your fathers did, and so do you!

What if...?

“Jesus has prepared the way and has made following our destiny possible, whereas we are helpless by ourselves. We can find and fulfill our purpose by responding to the clear, simple call of Jesus Christ: "Follow Me." He is the doorway to fulfilling our destiny, where our divine design and God-ordained purpose live in perfect harmony.”
― Charles R. Swindoll


     I woke earlier than usual because the room was extremely cold.  It took a few minutes to wipe the sleep from my eyes as I wondered why the heating system was not keeping up with the cold.  When I sat up in bed, I immediately saw the problem.  The back wall of the house was missing.  It was gone.  I ran downstairs to see it was missing there too.  The whole back wall of the house had vanished.  It hadn't fallen to lay across the backyard, no, it was completely gone.  How does this happen?
     My first thought was to call the landlord, but the dial pad on my phone was gone.  Was this a dream?  There was a button that said keypad, but when pressed, nothing happened.  I would have to drive to the landlord's house.  As I threw on my clothes, I rehearsed in my mind how I was going to explain that I had lost the back wall of the house.  I grabbed my keys and ran out the back door, chuckling when I realized I had locked it.  Why?  The back wall was open, the door was of no use.
     As I stepped out into the carport, I immediately noticed another problem.  The top of my car was gone.  All the windows and the roof.  There was no windshield to stop the wind, bugs, or rain.  It wasn't laying off to the side or even inside the car.  It was just gone.  I got into the car and started it.  I waited for the engine to warm, and blasted the heat on my feet.  This was going to be a cold ride. 
     As I drove down my street, I noticed a few of my neighbors were having the same issue.  A car sat on the ground with no tires, another's hood was up exposing a missing engine, while in one driveway a set of wheels lay as though the car was lifted right off them and they were allowed to fall where they were.  Some houses were missing windows, garages, and roofs.  But there were those that were whole, completely untouched by this strange thief who had hit our neighborhood while we all slept peacefully in our homes until the cold came in through missing pieces.  As I drove, I met few cars.  When I did meet a car, the driver and I would stare at each others unique vehicle with it's strange missing parts.  I guess I was one of the lucky ones, because at least mine was drivable. 
     As I pulled into the landlord's driveway I was totally surprised to see their whole house was gone.  Trees, house, sheds, cars, all gone.  It was an open field as if nothing had ever been there.  In the middle of the property stood the couple I rented my house from.  She was crying and he was on his knees in shock.  I decided it was not the time to tell them I was only missing a wall.  They didn't even notice me as I backed out of the driveway and headed toward town.  I would by tarps and cover the back of the house until I figured out what to do. 
     As I approached the counter with three large tarps, I thought would cover my house, I pulled out my wallet.  The cashier did not say a word to me, in fact the few people in the store were not talking.  We were all walking around in shock.  I pulled out my cash, but soon realized there was another problem.  Parts of every bill were missing.  I had a ten dollar bill with a corner gone, a twenty that was ripped right in half and another twenty with the presidents face missing.  The cashier did not seem to be surprised, didn't even seem to notice.  When she opened the cash register drawer all the bills were in the same state.  I picked up my tarps and headed for the door.
     When I arrived home and spread the tarps out in the back yard, I noticed there were holes in all of them.  These were not going to work.  How was I going to keep the cold out.  How was I going to survive?  What was happening on this planet?  Dear God help me.
     Just then, out of no where an angel appeared.  He stood in front of me with a gentle smile.  I looked up at him as I knelt over my partial tarps in the backyard.  He finally spoke.  "God has offered you all of Him.  He has even sacrificed His only begotten Son.  Yet you only give Him a piece of your heart.  You only partially submit your life to Him.  You obey only when His will lines up with yours." 
     "What do I need to do?"
     He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  To love is to submit and obey.  He has given you a taste of what it would be like if He only gave you as much as you give Him.  Do not hold back even the tiniest part of your heart."
     Over the next days as I spent time in worship and prayer, the missing pieces began to reappear.  The message was clear.  I wanted all of Jesus, but I only wanted to give parts of myself.  I held on to a few habits, a few grudges and even a few wounds.  Then I went out into the neighborhood and shared my testimony.  Some received the missing pieces back to them and some continued to live with the missing pieces, adjusting their lives to accommodate. 
     This is just a little fun fiction, but what if?  What if He only returned as much as we gave? 


Matthew 6:14  King James Version (KJV)

14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you