Thursday, September 28, 2017
The Journey: Splintered Personalities?
The Journey: Splintered Personalities?: “Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is illusion.” ― Brennan Manning , Abba's C...
Tuesday, September 19, 2017
Brokenness Denial
“Who knows why God allows heartbreak, but the answer must be important enough because God allows His heart to break too.”
― Ann Voskamp, The Broken Way: A Daring Path into the Abundant Life
I have seen it more than once. People will admit they are imperfect. To say they are not would be arrogant. Of course we can admit that. Fewer people can use the word broken. And even fewer are able to tell you how they are broken. Oh, they are willing to share the stories of who broke them, but not HOW they are broken. And next to none, will tell you how they are going about healing.
Thousands of people all over the world claim to be Christians, while their behavior is undeniably from the world. They take advice from the world. They do what the world does and then quote scripture about Jesus hanging with prostitutes. Yes, yes He did, but He never paid them for sexual favors. There is a huge difference. Hang with them, but if you aren't doing it with the goal of introducing them to Christ then check your flesh. If you want to hang with the world, you are broken.
Comfort should come from the Comforter, but when it comes from porn, alcohol, drugs, sex, food, TV, sleep, exercise, etc. etc. you are broken. One of the most freeing things I have learned to do is check my motives. If I am doing it for any selfish gain, I can't do it. If I speak something to get someone to think how I want them to think, that's manipulation. When you have been raised in a manipulative, judgmental family those habits are hard to break, but it can be done. I don't catch it every time, but several times I day I would ask myself, "Why am I doing this?" If it's not to make a life better, don't do it. Soon you will find, you don't even have to check yourself as often. Selfish motives, come out of brokenness. Pure motives come from healing. I am going to leave you with a teaching by Dallas Willard. Love this man. He has taught me a lot about my behavior and who I am. Dare check it out!
“In many cases, our need to wonder about or be told what God wants in a certain situation is nothing short of a clear indication of how little we are engaged in His work.”
― Dallas Willard, Hearing God: Developing a Conversational Relationship with God
― Dallas Willard, Hearing God: Developing a Conversational Relationship with God
Thursday, September 14, 2017
Pinky Swear!
Jesus said, You do your ministry and I will do Mine. You change the world, and while you do that I will change you. - Don Nori Sr.
You ever have one of those nights when you are lying in bed thinking about your life and all you can say is "God!! DO SOMETHING!!" Nothing is how you planned it or how you want it. But it's not about you. You gave it to Him. You can't really take it back.
Well, this morning He started to do something. I have been listening to a series called The Prophetic Edge. There have been several "Aha" moments, but nothing like what He revealed today. It's one of those "I knew that, I just never had it spelled out in such a way" realizations. Otherwise known as "Duh" moments. My friend, Dave passed on the first of this month. No matter how hard we tried we would always end up arguing. I am very thankful the last time I saw him, we spent three hours, as real friends, laughing, talking, forgiving and praying. Today, God explained it to me. The reason I am so alone in this world, estranged from family, friends and ministries, has been made clear. I am okay with it. It is the reason, behind every relationship struggle or relationship gone bad in my life.
There is a leader in every system. Family leaders are most often chosen by order of birth. Ministry leaders are usually chosen by . . . well the guy who built it is usually in charge and it is often a pastor. Businesses are the same. Within businesses and ministries, when the next pastor or CEO is put in place there is a window of opportunity for a change in the way the system operates. This can happen in families too, but because of generational sin, training that begins at birth and other reasons, they often never change.
The operating systems are often built on fear. Fear of losing what they have or imagine they have or losing the chance to get what they want. Some of those fears are loss of title, loss of control, loss of reputation, etc. etc. For instance in my family, there is a fear of "loss of control" If you step outside of the lines of the required behavior/submission, you will be punished. The black sheep is usually the one who says "I am not living under this operating system." There are unspoken rules that are instated in families that some cannot live by - don't talk about it, don't tell, act like nothing happened, are seriously messed up rules, and they can also be as minor as don't move away, you must work for the family, etc. When you say you can't or won't live under these ridiculous, one person honoring, rules, leaders get scared and they get pissed off!. I believe exposure is the biggest reason for the fear. Exposure of who they really are threatens their existence.
In the church there are titles, there are goals and even beliefs that your behavior must fall under or you will not survive there. They will word those rules so they sound biblical often using the word "honor" but what they don't explain is that you are honoring fear and whatever destiny that fear dictates. Those system requirements can be as damaging as "you must control the Holy Spirit" or as silly as you must praise the leadership team, never suggesting any change, even if it's good and never questioning anything they say or do. He is talking about the Church systems, but it can be applied to any operating system, and I absolutely love this quote by Don Nori Sr. "The people you need to trust are the people who have been through the fire with you. The issue is . . . and this is a difficult thing to find, because as soon as you feel like you have something to lose, you're finished. Your influence is over, the minute you have something to lose. So as long as you have something to lose, you can't help me. As long as you have an ulterior motive, a personal agenda, there's nothing you can do for me. But whenever you have nothing to lose, when you realize everything I have I got by being obedient to God, everything I have I got by responding to the Holy Spirit. I didn't lie, I didn't cheat, I didn't deceive, I didn't coerce, I didn't intimidate, everything I got by being obedient to God, therefore I have nothing to lose."
There is freedom. The arguments between Dave and me, were not personal. Our personal friendship was fine as long as we did not talk about the Church. He wanted me to fit under his ministry in my own little box built from his destiny and fear and I refused. Mostly I refused because the Holy Spirit instructed me to. What God has for me does not fit inside the lines of Dave's ministry. When he couldn't control me, I became a threat. Not even because of anything I did, but because of the differences in our belief systems.
I refuse to fit into the operating system of my family. I believe children are not safe in that system built out of fear. Appearance is much more important than safety, honesty, unconditional love, healthy relationships, respect, freedom and many other things I believe in. What makes me angry is that I do not expect my kids to live under that system, but they tend to believe family is more important than these things I have listed. Seriously I regret not pulling them out of that system a long time ago. My mentor always asks me, "What does healthy look like?" I always laugh, because I have no clue most of the time. I have never seen it.
I think the biggest fear operating systems are built under is exposure. Leaders who are not confident in who they are in Christ and how they are loved by Him, tend to allow their insecurities to rule their world and if they are in charge, well then their insecurities are ruling you if you choose to be under them. I refuse to belong in any system that operates from any unhealthy fear. If it isn't the fear of the Lord, I won't be under it.
I am in no way trying to dishonor Dave or his ministry. Dave has done some great things. What I believe has happened though is a change in direction. I feel like the Lord is saying the Church has been headed into a direction it is not called to. It's being led by pride, rebellion and religion, which all fall under FEAR. Even the whole "Left behind" tribulation, hell on earth, belief system is about fear and Jesus does not roll that way. He is coming for us, but He is coming when we are united, not when the earth is so ugly He can't stand to look at it. The whole trib/rapture story was designed by the enemy. You may say that can't be true, because people came to the Lord through that fear, but I believe it scared more away than came and it opened the door to religion, rebellion and pride.
So where does the Lord want the Church? Authentic inner healing/transformation. And it's not about the Church defining what that is. We need to facilitate it. Then allow Jesus to do the transforming. A huge church has members who can sneak in and sneak out unnoticed and unhealed. I had a friend who was homeless in his last years and snuck in and out of the local "mega" church. They believed loving him was defined by allowing him to come in late and sneak out early, give him coffee and no condemnation for his ways. He hung himself. I don't hold them responsible, but I just wonder if there was more they could do. Get him a job? Find him a place to live? Get him delivered from the strongholds that kept him prisoner?
When Jesus walked with the disciples, He taught them to heal the sick, cast out demons, and raise the dead. Show me a church doing that. People don't know where to go for this kind of help. Why isn't the Church doing it? They are afraid of the Holy Spirit and they try to control Him. We are supposed to follow Him, not make Him fit into our operating system. You can't make God do anything. The insane (demon possessed) are walking the streets, and the Church does nothing. The other day I heard of a suicidal man being turned away from the local hospital because they were full. Are you kidding me? Where was the Church? How many local pastors or leaders would have volunteered to go get this guy, do a little deliverance and prayer and sit in his closet with him? Actually, it's not just the pastors and leaders who should do this, but they should have teams of people on call at all times. But the leadership I see is afraid. I had a pastor contact me about the demonic attacking him in the night. I shared what I knew and I offered to bring a team to his house, but he refused, because of what people would think. BTW he is dead now.
The Church is for the sick and it puts on a good show with "Come as you are" but the unwritten words that follow that statement are "stay as you are and honor us" They have their 12 step programs for addictions of all shapes and sizes, but what about deliverance. They pray for you when you are sick, but what about laying on hands and commanding that sickness to leave. They are dying and out of fear they don't go to those who know, who have been healing the sick and broken, but instead they have a huge prayer vigil that sounds more like a funeral than a healing.
I believe that Dave knows some things now that he couldn't see before and he supports anything I can share to open the eyes and ears of others. Many will not agree with me and many will get angry, but Dave made a choice and more than once the Lord showed me he would. I prayed against it, but fear won. So I have to ask, where was his faith? He looked good, appeared brave, knowing where he would go, but was his faith really in God? Did he believe the whole bible or just parts? He said he was a good candidate for healing, but did he really believe that or did he feel unworthy? I have to ask these questions, because he didn't go to the people he knew were having success in praying for cancer patients and getting them healed, but instead began to plan his own funeral. Literally! And with help from the pastors who are now in charge of the church, with their fears and insecurities.
But whoever dies first the other has to say good things. Pinky swear? - Dave
You ever have one of those nights when you are lying in bed thinking about your life and all you can say is "God!! DO SOMETHING!!" Nothing is how you planned it or how you want it. But it's not about you. You gave it to Him. You can't really take it back.
Well, this morning He started to do something. I have been listening to a series called The Prophetic Edge. There have been several "Aha" moments, but nothing like what He revealed today. It's one of those "I knew that, I just never had it spelled out in such a way" realizations. Otherwise known as "Duh" moments. My friend, Dave passed on the first of this month. No matter how hard we tried we would always end up arguing. I am very thankful the last time I saw him, we spent three hours, as real friends, laughing, talking, forgiving and praying. Today, God explained it to me. The reason I am so alone in this world, estranged from family, friends and ministries, has been made clear. I am okay with it. It is the reason, behind every relationship struggle or relationship gone bad in my life.
There is a leader in every system. Family leaders are most often chosen by order of birth. Ministry leaders are usually chosen by . . . well the guy who built it is usually in charge and it is often a pastor. Businesses are the same. Within businesses and ministries, when the next pastor or CEO is put in place there is a window of opportunity for a change in the way the system operates. This can happen in families too, but because of generational sin, training that begins at birth and other reasons, they often never change.
The operating systems are often built on fear. Fear of losing what they have or imagine they have or losing the chance to get what they want. Some of those fears are loss of title, loss of control, loss of reputation, etc. etc. For instance in my family, there is a fear of "loss of control" If you step outside of the lines of the required behavior/submission, you will be punished. The black sheep is usually the one who says "I am not living under this operating system." There are unspoken rules that are instated in families that some cannot live by - don't talk about it, don't tell, act like nothing happened, are seriously messed up rules, and they can also be as minor as don't move away, you must work for the family, etc. When you say you can't or won't live under these ridiculous, one person honoring, rules, leaders get scared and they get pissed off!. I believe exposure is the biggest reason for the fear. Exposure of who they really are threatens their existence.
In the church there are titles, there are goals and even beliefs that your behavior must fall under or you will not survive there. They will word those rules so they sound biblical often using the word "honor" but what they don't explain is that you are honoring fear and whatever destiny that fear dictates. Those system requirements can be as damaging as "you must control the Holy Spirit" or as silly as you must praise the leadership team, never suggesting any change, even if it's good and never questioning anything they say or do. He is talking about the Church systems, but it can be applied to any operating system, and I absolutely love this quote by Don Nori Sr. "The people you need to trust are the people who have been through the fire with you. The issue is . . . and this is a difficult thing to find, because as soon as you feel like you have something to lose, you're finished. Your influence is over, the minute you have something to lose. So as long as you have something to lose, you can't help me. As long as you have an ulterior motive, a personal agenda, there's nothing you can do for me. But whenever you have nothing to lose, when you realize everything I have I got by being obedient to God, everything I have I got by responding to the Holy Spirit. I didn't lie, I didn't cheat, I didn't deceive, I didn't coerce, I didn't intimidate, everything I got by being obedient to God, therefore I have nothing to lose."
There is freedom. The arguments between Dave and me, were not personal. Our personal friendship was fine as long as we did not talk about the Church. He wanted me to fit under his ministry in my own little box built from his destiny and fear and I refused. Mostly I refused because the Holy Spirit instructed me to. What God has for me does not fit inside the lines of Dave's ministry. When he couldn't control me, I became a threat. Not even because of anything I did, but because of the differences in our belief systems.
I refuse to fit into the operating system of my family. I believe children are not safe in that system built out of fear. Appearance is much more important than safety, honesty, unconditional love, healthy relationships, respect, freedom and many other things I believe in. What makes me angry is that I do not expect my kids to live under that system, but they tend to believe family is more important than these things I have listed. Seriously I regret not pulling them out of that system a long time ago. My mentor always asks me, "What does healthy look like?" I always laugh, because I have no clue most of the time. I have never seen it.
I think the biggest fear operating systems are built under is exposure. Leaders who are not confident in who they are in Christ and how they are loved by Him, tend to allow their insecurities to rule their world and if they are in charge, well then their insecurities are ruling you if you choose to be under them. I refuse to belong in any system that operates from any unhealthy fear. If it isn't the fear of the Lord, I won't be under it.
I am in no way trying to dishonor Dave or his ministry. Dave has done some great things. What I believe has happened though is a change in direction. I feel like the Lord is saying the Church has been headed into a direction it is not called to. It's being led by pride, rebellion and religion, which all fall under FEAR. Even the whole "Left behind" tribulation, hell on earth, belief system is about fear and Jesus does not roll that way. He is coming for us, but He is coming when we are united, not when the earth is so ugly He can't stand to look at it. The whole trib/rapture story was designed by the enemy. You may say that can't be true, because people came to the Lord through that fear, but I believe it scared more away than came and it opened the door to religion, rebellion and pride.
So where does the Lord want the Church? Authentic inner healing/transformation. And it's not about the Church defining what that is. We need to facilitate it. Then allow Jesus to do the transforming. A huge church has members who can sneak in and sneak out unnoticed and unhealed. I had a friend who was homeless in his last years and snuck in and out of the local "mega" church. They believed loving him was defined by allowing him to come in late and sneak out early, give him coffee and no condemnation for his ways. He hung himself. I don't hold them responsible, but I just wonder if there was more they could do. Get him a job? Find him a place to live? Get him delivered from the strongholds that kept him prisoner?
When Jesus walked with the disciples, He taught them to heal the sick, cast out demons, and raise the dead. Show me a church doing that. People don't know where to go for this kind of help. Why isn't the Church doing it? They are afraid of the Holy Spirit and they try to control Him. We are supposed to follow Him, not make Him fit into our operating system. You can't make God do anything. The insane (demon possessed) are walking the streets, and the Church does nothing. The other day I heard of a suicidal man being turned away from the local hospital because they were full. Are you kidding me? Where was the Church? How many local pastors or leaders would have volunteered to go get this guy, do a little deliverance and prayer and sit in his closet with him? Actually, it's not just the pastors and leaders who should do this, but they should have teams of people on call at all times. But the leadership I see is afraid. I had a pastor contact me about the demonic attacking him in the night. I shared what I knew and I offered to bring a team to his house, but he refused, because of what people would think. BTW he is dead now.
The Church is for the sick and it puts on a good show with "Come as you are" but the unwritten words that follow that statement are "stay as you are and honor us" They have their 12 step programs for addictions of all shapes and sizes, but what about deliverance. They pray for you when you are sick, but what about laying on hands and commanding that sickness to leave. They are dying and out of fear they don't go to those who know, who have been healing the sick and broken, but instead they have a huge prayer vigil that sounds more like a funeral than a healing.
I believe that Dave knows some things now that he couldn't see before and he supports anything I can share to open the eyes and ears of others. Many will not agree with me and many will get angry, but Dave made a choice and more than once the Lord showed me he would. I prayed against it, but fear won. So I have to ask, where was his faith? He looked good, appeared brave, knowing where he would go, but was his faith really in God? Did he believe the whole bible or just parts? He said he was a good candidate for healing, but did he really believe that or did he feel unworthy? I have to ask these questions, because he didn't go to the people he knew were having success in praying for cancer patients and getting them healed, but instead began to plan his own funeral. Literally! And with help from the pastors who are now in charge of the church, with their fears and insecurities.
But whoever dies first the other has to say good things. Pinky swear? - Dave
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