Broadsided

“The ultimate difference between God's wisdom and man's wisdom is how they relate to the glory of God's grace in Christ crucified. God's wisdom makes the glory of God's grace our supreme treasure. But man's wisdom delights in seeing himself as resourceful, self-sufficient, self determining, and not utterly dependent on God's free grace.”
― John Piper, Think: The Life of the Mind and the Love of God

     Weird few days I have had.  I was receiving puzzle pieces without realizing they were actual pieces that belonged to a much larger picture.  I began to realize it two nights ago when I was broadsided by a buck.  Over the last several weeks I have had a variety of animals run across the road in front of my car, but most didn't require any action, I just noted them.  There was a deer standing in the ditch, a black squirrel crossed in front of me, an almost black deer and the same dog twice.  Now the dog was a little different, because it was in my lane running toward me and I did have to brake for that.  I took note of all of it, mentioned it to a friend and tucked it away.

     Driving home night before last, the Lord struck up a conversation with me.  He reminded me of a curse He says I have placed on my relationships.  I have always said, they only last two years.  I have been saying this for almost 30 years and it is true.  The Lord pointed out that most of my closest friends, I met two years ago and it's time to break the curse.  Being me, I argued.  I explained to God that the curse only applied to "boyfriends" and "husbands" and some of them lasted longer.  I also explained the curse did not apply to my friendships.  He immediately pointed out a friendship with a male that had exploded after two years and no matter how we tried, we could not get it back.  I told Him, I didn't care about that one and was fine with it ending.  By this time of course I am in tears and don't want to talk about it.  Sometimes He gets very persistent.  I guess if He ever yelled, it seemed He was doing so by this time.  He was insisting, "Break the curse!" and that was all He would say, over and over as I said, "I am not ready." over and over.  

     As the intensity increased, He said, "You are limiting what I can do for you."  My response, "I don't care.  I don't want the friendship and I am not ready to break the curse."  Out of no where I saw the head of a buck with a full set of antlers and I realized he was about to hit me.  I cringed as he plowed into the side of my car with a loud bang.  I never slowed down, I never looked back, I just kept driving, me and God in silence.  After a mile or so, I noticed my driver door mirror was completely gone.  The Lord said, "Are you done looking back at the way things were?  Break the curse."  I did.  I whispered the words He needed to release me from the curse I placed on my life.  I turned around and drove back to where I thought it had happened and there was no trace of the deer or the mirror.  Okay God, do what you will.  

     That night when I finally got home, I listened to two different sermons on my laptop.  Then my laptop broke.  I held the piece in my hand where I would actually plug in the cord to charge it.  Nice.  Thank you Jesus.  It was only 8:30 when I shut it down and went to sleep.  The Lord spoke to me about avoiding conversation with Him.  He said I used my laptop to avoid Him.  He didn't want me listening to a sermon if I could be talking to Him.  I really didn't feel like it.  As I told Him, I have given everything I own away for You God and all I have is a car and a laptop and this is not a good day.  He said, "I can take those too."  Some people would say, God doesn't talk to people like that, but to say that is limiting Him as much as having a curse on your life.  To say that you know how God talks to each person, how He operates, is to say you don't need Him, because you already know everything..  I got that from one of the sermons I listened to instead of talking to God.

     That night I had three dreams.  One I don't remember.  One was about me talking to a friend about repairing my laptop.  That could either show i am obsessed with it, or what I believe it was confirming what God had said, because in my dream, my friend kept saying, "How am I supposed to work on it when you are on it all the time?"  Yes, God, I hear You.  The third dream was so strange, I put it away, believing it possibly was not from God or if it was, He would let me know what it meant when He was ready.  

      Yesterday was uneventful, though I had several conversations, wondering what the whole message was with the broadsiding buck. Today was a day of revelation.  I dreamt last night I was in a room full of people all claiming to be prophets.  I told them I was not concerned with a title, I only wanted to hear the Lord and obey.  Then one of the men went into a lengthy explanation about how important it is, and what an honor it is when the Lord appoints you to a position.  I was humbled in that dream.  In the next I was holding a gun and trying to figure out where to aim it to shoot.  It had to be where no one would be hurt, and where it would be the most effective.  Weird.  

     I was babysitting today when I began to watch a sermon and the preacher said, "What if they weren't sent to do good in your life, but to grow you through adversity?"  Suddenly,the deer made sense.  We think of a deer as a beautiful, peaceful creature.  Most times it would be pleasant to see one.  But this buck brought a lesson.  Then the Lord said, about the friend I was okay with losing, "What if a friendship was not the purpose as much as the growth you have received from losing the friendship?  Yeah, I was like huh?

     He explained it like this.  A religious leader, the high priest, trying to follow God's rules, you would think would be happy to meet Jesus.  In my pea brain, that made sense.  But Jesus knew what the high priest was going to do - have Him crucified.  Jesus had to be crucified to fulfill His purpose on earth.  Jesus knew what the outcome of my friendship was going to be.  Did He want to see the hurt and pain?  No, but He knew I had to have those parts of my flesh crucified to fulfill my purpose.  All scars have purpose.  Jesus' scars saved God's people and our scars are meant to save people too.  We could not fulfill our purpose without being crucified.  Well, at least to our flesh.

     How did all that come from the broadsiding buck?  He was my friend.  A good creature who was probably running for his life.  For a deer to run into the side of a car, he had to be running from something.  Trust me, as hard as he hit,  denting up not easily dented places on the door and all the hair I found even around the key hole, he was moving.  Did he mean to run into my car?  i doubt that very much.  The timing was just right, there had to be a lesson in it.  So, he hit so hard, it changed the way I see the things around me, especially behind me.   

     So we dissect the dreams.  What is a modern day prophet's responsibility?  If you know, then you don't need God.  To say that prophet's no longer warn people of things to come, or behavior changes that need to be made, is to say you know God's plan and so you don't need Him.  I got that from the sermon.  If we know what worship is, praise is, grace, how healing is to take place, etc then you don't need God.  If He did everything the same every time, we would worship the process, instead of Him.  It's just like these healing oils people are using, if you have the right combination to heal everything, then you don't need God.  If it works the same way every time, you end up worshiping the oils not the true healer.

     The dream about the gun was the power held in our hand when we hold the word of God.  We have to use care and revelation to know where to aim it and where not to aim it.  The third dream, that was really weird to me was about planning a murder.  You can see why I didn't really want to share that.  I didn't know who the man was or why we were planning this, but in the end God explained "Slander is murder"  and in the end of the dream, we decided not to do it.  He looked too happy!  It was weird, but I got the point.  Authority comes with power, but just because a person has power does not mean they have authority.   

     I guess if I had to simplify the lesson, I would say God does not want us to limit Him.  He wants full submission.  We limit Him through curses, beliefs, unforgiveness and basically siding with the enemy.  If we are not giving God the authority in an area of our life, then guess who gets it?  Yep, and with my help he has destroyed a lot of relationships in my life.

“God’s revelation does not need the light of human genius, the polish and strength of human culture, the brilliancy of human thought, the force of human brains to adorn or enforce it; but it does demand the simplicity, the docility, humility, and faith of a child’s heart.”
― E.M. Bounds, Power Through Prayer

Watchman

“If I look at the mass I will never act.”
― Mother Teresa
     
     Some days I wake in the morning in tears for someone.  I did today and a friend text me encouragement, because the Lord spoke to her.  "I get it." is still a powerful statement in my world.  I pray one person hears "I get it" when they read my ramblings.
     Some days I feel like I am watching a line of Holocaust victims unknowingly walking toward their death.  I can scream at them to run, they are going to die anyway.  Why not take a chance on life, on God.  But they look at me and they see a Nazi uniform, because that is the way they see Christians.  We judge, we condemn, we think we are better than.  That's what they see.  That's what they believe.  Religion with all it's rules and judgments.  I am not one of them.  I don't want to be one of them.  I want to be the believer that Jesus asks us to be.  I want them to see Him, not a religious uniform.  God help me.
 
 
     We come to You and ask for forgiveness of our sins and You exchange it for Your grace and mercy, You smash our sins with the cross, but Lord I am here today to say I am sorry for the lost sheep I walked past, in too much of a hurry to hear Your voice.  I am sorry for every mouth that is dying for food that I have not fed.  Forgive me for all the prayers I sent to You for my comfort when so many of Yours are in deep pain.  Lord forgive me.  Forgive me for not hearing You when You speak of blessing others but I am stuck in my own circumstances.  Forgive me for thinking of speaking to millions when all You ask is that I reach that one, just that one broken heart that You weep for.  Lord forgive me for the nights I was too tired to say a prayer of protection over Your child, the mornings You woke me before dawn and I grumbled and went back to sleep when You just wanted to talk with me.  Lord forgive me, forgive me for not healing the sick, casting out the demons and weeping with those who weep and grieving for the souls of Your babies who are wandering in the darkness.  Forgive me for glorifying my works, for glorifying my name instead of Yours.  Forgive me for ever tear I cried over needless things while Your children cry for just one hand, one hand to reach out and take theirs.  Forgive me for holding onto bitterness against Your child who has done nothing compared to the wretched things I have done, for holding others in contempt for committing the very sin You forgave me for.  Forgive me for throwing the word grace around until it has no meaning left in it, for holding back mercy, forgiveness, and love.  Forgive me for judging those who live in the same pits I live in, under the same cloud of doubt that follows me and who choose the darkness I retreat to at times.  I am nothing, I am weak, I hurt, for those I have harmed, for those You weep for.  Lord show me, show me who You want me to be, no matter how it hurts.  Show me those You would send me to and stretch me until I see this world through Your eyes.  I ask that the blessings I receive are not because I asked for them, the mercy You grant me is not because I beg for it, and the grace You give never loses it's meaning in my eyes.  Lord never allow me to grow numb to Your heart.  Never allow me to quench the fire that burns in my belly, to shallow Your word, or be free of the pain that drives me to my knees.  Lord forgive me.  Your babies are dying and I don't want to stand here and watch them walk by.  Give me your words, Your wisdom, revelation to accomplish everything You have designed me to do.  Don't allow me to waste a minute of this life You gave me for Your purpose.  Never, never Lord, allow me to take the credit for that which You do through me.  Blessed is Your name, perfect is Your plan, stop me Lord if I ever get in Your way. 

 

Acts 5:20
“Go, stand and speak to the people in the temple the whole message of this Life.”

Ministry Rules?

“My job as a Christian is not to get people to heaven when they die, it's to get heaven to people while they're alive”
― D.R. Silva

     Too many times we measure our ministry by the applause we receive from some clever quip we recite. But if you think back to the times a speaker busted a chain loose that had held your heart in bondage for a life time, there was no applause. There was a moment, probably unexpected when a raw word was spoken and immediately out of no where a lump took form in your throat and your eyes became wet with tears as the chain fell. It was followed by a sigh and a starry eyed, gaze of freedom. 
     Putting any rules to ministry is putting limits on the Holy Spirit.  Sometimes we are called to step out of the man made safety guardrails and step out onto a road of risky ministry.  There is a rule I have always believed in that the Lord is telling me is not His rule.  Men minister to men and women minister to women.  This is not always the case.  What about Jesus and the woman at the well.  He was not supposed to be talking to her, according to man made rules, but He did and He spoke truth and He set her free.  Now you could argue that it was Jesus and he did not sin, so obviously there was no threat of lust, but He was in a man's body.  No excuses.  Aren't we supposed to behave like Him.   
     In Matthew 8 Jesus tells the adulterous woman to go and sin no more.  He didn't use the word "unless" in any of his statements.  He didn't say, Go and sin no more unless you are a man who has a problem with lust, because Hey you're a guy and guys can't help it.  He did not tell the woman "unless" you meet the right man, then go ahead and sleep with him before you wed.  He didn't say, Go and sin no more, unless you are a gossip and you are requesting prayer so you can tell so and so what what's her name did.  He said, "Go and sin no more."  He would not tell us to do something that is impossible.  He didn't ask to hear her excuses. 
     As in any ministry, I believe we go when we are called.  We may be able or familiar with an issue a person is having trouble with, but we may not be the one He has called to deal with it.  I have seen most times the minister receives as much as the one being ministered to and I would hate to take someone's lesson or blessing.  I also believe there are precautions.  You may want to check for confirmation from God if you think He is telling you to go get a drunk out of the bar and your last relapse was yesterday.  But who knows, he might, cause He is wiser than me.  He probably won't call you to minister to the opposite sex if you are having a problem yet with porn, lust or perversion, but who knows?  God doesn't always make sense by our earthly wisdom.
     When I reached out for Christ, He sent a man.  I questioned many times why.  But He limited our conversation to email, mostly.  We rarely saw each other in person, except for at church.  He was the pastor so it didn't leave a lot of time for failure.  Because the pastor had an affair years earlier and I had made the same mistake, it did not make sense that God would send him to help me out of the pit, but He did.  There were many who said it should not be, but we both knew it was God.
     One morning the Lord told me to email him.  We emailed almost every day, so I had to ask what He wanted me to say.  When I sat down at the computer the Lord told me to apologize.  For what?  For my affairs.  For destroying married men's lives.  Then He had me apologize for hurting their wives.  I was crying my eyes out the whole time I was writing the email.  When the pastor read the email, he did the same.  The woman he had been with years ago, never took responsibility for her part or apologized to him or his wife, for what she had done.  I have to say here that he had apologized to her and her husband.  There was tremendous healing for both of us that day and there were many other times that we ministered to each other in ways that could not have happened between people of the same gender.
     Many times our deepest wounds are from the opposite sex and we need the opposite sex to set us free.  If we hold bitterness for what someone did to us, we often times will find ourselves repeating the sin toward someone else.  For instance, bitterness held for his mistress not taking responsibility for her part, can cause him to refuse to take responsibility for hurt he has caused without realizing it.  What ever demons torment us from the outside can move inside if we don't forgive.  What ever was done to us, we can end up doing to others if we don't heal the wound.  Abused kids, often grow up to abuse.  Children of alcoholics become alcoholics.  You are forgiven and set free as much as you forgive and release others. 
     There is high value in having friends of the same gender and it can be freeing, but sometimes a wound caused by man needs to be healed through a man and a wound caused by a woman, needs to be healed through a woman, no matter what gender we are.
 

“No life is messier than one in ministry”
― Jerry B. Jenkins

Pitching another Fit?

“Remember He is the artist and you are only the picture. You can't see it. So quietly submit to be painted---i.e., keep fulfilling all the obvious duties of your station (you really know quite well enough what they are!), asking forgiveness for each failure and then leaving it alone.You are in the right way. Walk---don't keep on looking at it.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Collected Letters of C. S. Lewis, Volume lll: Narnia, Cambridge, and Joy 1950-1963
 
      I really need for the Church to be different than the world, if I am ever going to learn to trust.  It is so easy for me to see that the enemy is working against me.  God has put me on a project - getting my story done.  That's why I am writing here, because I can't write there.  The enemy is beating me up for telling my story in the first place.  I can't count how many times I wanted it back.
     The attacks from telling my story didn't even come from the direction I expected.  I was ducking behind a huge rock that stood between me and those who I assumed would attack, but no shots were fired... from that direction anyway.  The most damaging shot hit me in the back, one right through the heart and then an other to the back of the head.  There were other cuts and bruises, but nothing major. 
     My past was used against me when a woman in the church assumed I introduced her husband to a friend of mine.  Apparently when I told my story, she left the building before I got to the part where I changed.  I didn't fix them up and I didn't support their affair.  My heart was for this woman's children.  Who told me this?  The pastor and he said I needed to fix it.  ME?  I don't even know this woman.  How did this become my responsibility?  So, my head is healed, but the scar is still there to remind me what can happen when you allow people into your business. 
     The wound to the heart is beyond explanation.  I have never been so honest with anyone and yet this man chooses to believe I am a liar.  Three years are totally erased.  They meant nothing, because now I see he only wanted to conquer my obstacle course to be the hero, the number one, the pat myself on the back for a job well done guy.  Though because I would not agree with him on every little thing, I am listening to the devil.  Hmm.  I find it humorous that the one person who stands behind me in exposing those who abused me, is the one who wants to approve of what I say about him in my story.  I guess we both need to trust God. 
     Every time I try to work on it, all these memories come flooding back to me and I want to move away from here.  As I argue with God, I bring up my kids.  What will they go through, because really, they are all that matters.  My kids and grandkids are really the only ones I can't live without.  Then God said, "What if I ask you to give them up for me?"  Really?  Well, of course, because out of your will is not where I ever want to be.  The Lord told me my kids salvation should come second to Him.  WHAT? 
     I know God has my kids, but when you have treated them badly for their whole lives and you finally start building a healthy and meaningful relationship and then God says, "Take 'em to the hill and sacrifice" it's a little unsettling to say the least.  Some days I come to God like a small child... pitching a huge fit.  Why do I have to obey, sacrifice, walk away, forgive, etc. etc. and others get to lie, steal and hurt people?  Especially those who claim to be Christians, pastors, friends of Christ.  My dad always made us pick up the toys at our friends house even if none of the other kids were made to help.  AND do it without grumbling.  Argh!
     I can see the positive in finishing my story and sharing it, but I know there will be some haters.  I now realize those haters might be people I call friend at this time in my life.  Nothing matters but Jesus.  Nothing matters, but Jesus.  Absolutely nothing matters to me, but being in His will and obeying Him... even if it hurts like hell.


“But God doesn't call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through.”
― Francis Chan, Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God

The Obstacle Course

“To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.”
― George MacDonald



      I saw a little girl passing out trust like it was candy.  Why shouldn't she?  We are supposed to trust certain people and we should be able to trust everyone.  So as she danced around in her little dress, knowing that she is beautiful, it happened, one of the first trusts she handed out was shattered and spit back in her face like a lemon drop bullet shot straight from the puckered face of someone she thought she knew.  It happened again and again.  After that, it wasn't as easy to pass out candied trust without flinching.  What do you do?
     You build a big round fence, you disguise the gate and most importantly, you lock it.  You position yourself in the center, furthest from the reach of those who  approach your fence and ask to come in, to get closer, to actually know you.  You immediately go to work building an obstacle course that will have to be conquered before they can even stand near you.  And you make that obstacle course nearly impossible to conquer because... you will not be fooled again.  I am a professional and I can help you!
     No two obstacle courses are exactly the same.  The course is designed uniquely for the person running it.  First, the course is unique to the abused who is designing it.  The difficulty depends on the abuse, the amount of healing, the willingness and a knowledge of God.  Second, the course is designed according to the person who will be running it, like how we met, your position in the world (though titles mean nothing), what history I know of you and possibly, positive words from a mutual friend, though they don't count as much as most would think.  Even gender, age and what you drive can play a role.  Third, discernment has a lot to do with the initial decision to even design a course and give a person the opportunity to run through it and stays "tuned in" through out the course.  Fourth, the complexity of the course can be largely affected by the last person to run it.  (Don't point out this is not fair, because none of it is fair)
     Many will think they want to run the course until they get a look at it.  It is difficult enough, but when they hear the time it takes to run the course cannot be too long or to short, they may be asked to repeat the same act over and over again until we are sure it was actually accomplished perfectly or they could be kicked out at any time, no matter how much time they dedicated, they may decide to run away.  Did you smile when you should frown, cry when you should have laughed or did you actually sigh deeply some time during the course that gave the impression you were not pleased to be running it?  All reasons to rerun or be booted.
     Through healing, the wall of shame may be lowered, as well as the hurdles of loyalty, peace, and truth.  Through healing the rope swinging over the mud pit of lies, could decrease in diameter enough that a person could actually wrap their hands around it. 
     It all sounds ridiculous.  But we have to.  We have to know the truth of who you are.  What's the reward?  I have met several abused people who have no healing and can be vicious, but most of that is show.  I believe, by what I have seen in these people, at the end of that course, (which you may be called back periodically to run portions of ) there is the most loyal, loving, honest, person who would absolutely without thinking lay down their life for anyone who would actually spend the blood, sweat and tears on their course.   
     What happens when a person gets to the end of the obstacle course?  There is a celebration, but not what you would expect.  There is always the fear something was missed, though the runner does get the loyalty, the love, the devotion and honesty they have earned by running such a difficult course. We say little, because we don't want a runner to get a big head and think we can't live with out them.  We have proven time and time again we can live without anyone.
     I have a few runners, running their individual courses.  I have a couple who are so close to crossing the finish line that I hardly keep an eye on them.  But what happens when one, the first one, way out in front of everyone else, gets to the end and drives a spear right through your heart?  Shock.  I have to wonder why they even ran the course.  There can only be one thing that would drive a person to run such a difficult course and turn on you in the end.  Selfish gain.  Who would spend that much time and effort only to look you in the eye and say "You are not worth it."  Somebody who is broken?  Someone who can't handle loyalty, love, or even truth. 
     When you invest time and effort building a course, judging the progress and healing, letting down walls, lowering hurdles and changing out ropes, just to be crushed when the runner crosses the finish line and walks away, like conquering your course was the only goal, one thing happens: everyone is ushered out of your fenced area, EVERYONE.  It's like a bomb threat or a fire, "Everybody get out of my fence and get out now!!"
     Inside your fence looks like an abandoned carnival.  Wrappers blowing across the ground, hurdles left knocked over and heavy frayed ropes barely moving in the breeze.  Most of the people don't even stick around the fence, they wander off to see what's going on elsewhere.  The few who were almost finished with their courses wait outside the gate, knowing this has happened before and maybe, like last time the gate will swing open again. 
     You look around and you think about what it would take to increase the height of the walls, build bigger hurdles and change out the ropes, but then you slump down on an old bench and ask yourself, "Is it worth it?"  The scream from the pain is still drowning out most of your thoughts, even though you never let it escape your mouth.  The shock of realizing somebody got by your discernment convinces you to buy a stronger lock for the gate.  You refuse to look up at those who still linger outside of that gate.
     Something catches your attention.  Outside the gate, first in line to come back in and start over if He is allowed, is a man in a bright white robe and He is weeping.  No matter how you want to, you don't jump up and run to open the gate.   You just sit there.  You wonder how exactly He got shuffled out with the rest.  It doesn't seem fair to ask Him to run the course, but He is the most willing.  He will run it a thousand times, while smiling. 
     Suddenly you are standing at the starting line of your own obstacle course and He stands next to you.  He apologizes for the hurt your brother caused.  Then He not only walks through the course in his perfect timing, but He carries you.  He busts down the wall of shame as much as you will allow Him.  He steps over hurdles and walks on top of the mud pit of lies, carrying you every step of the way.  Jesus smiles as He speaks in a familiar, soft, and gentle voice...

    
“Forgiveness is not about forgetting. It is about letting go of another person's throat......Forgiveness does not create a relationship. Unless people speak the truth about what they have done and change their mind and behavior, a relationship of trust is not possible. When you forgive someone you certainly release them from judgment, but without true change, no real relationship can be established.........Forgiveness in no way requires that you trust the one you forgive. But should they finally confess and repent, you will discover a miracle in your own heart that allows you to reach out and begin to build between you a bridge of reconciliation.........Forgiveness does not excuse anything.........You may have to declare your forgiveness a hundred times the first day and the second day, but the third day will be less and each day after, until one day you will realize that you have forgiven completely. And then one day you will pray for his wholeness......”
― Wm. Paul Young, The Shack: Where Tragedy Confronts Eternity     

Really? Babies? Yes!

“Every source of blessing is a point of attack.”
― David McGee

   Some may say, "Now that's going too far."  Is the spirit of Jezebel sacrificing unborn babies?  How many abortions were already performed today?  But could a spirit really attack the unborn babies of Christians?  I would guess it is more difficult for the enemy to get to a believer's unborn, but if there is demonic influence in a church it increases his chances. 
     Are we praying for and blessing pregnancies or are we assuming they are protected because we are believers?  A baby is born a sinner, right?  Babies are often attacked at conception and/or in the womb.  Especially if there is a chance a child will be born into and raised by believers, there is a much larger target on them. 
     A church under the spirit of Jezebel or control has many open doors for the enemy.  The enemy may see a Christian pregnancy as a threat.  What if that baby is the next Billy Graham?  What if a prophet is being formed?  There are a couple stories in the bible of many children being killed and one was in hopes of taking out Jesus the Messiah.  Moses escaped another.  Why wouldn't the same enemy today attack those in a church?
     Jezebel worshipped Baal.

Jeremiah 19:4-6New American Standard Bible (NASB)
⁴ Because they have forsaken Me and have made this an alien place and have burned ^[a]sacrifices in it to other gods, that neither they nor their forefathers nor the kings of Judah had ever known, and because they have filled this place with the blood of the innocent ⁵ and have built the high places of Baal to burn their sons in the fire as burnt offerings to Baal, a thing which I never commanded or spoke of, nor did it ever enter My ^[b]mind; ⁶ therefore, behold, days are coming,” declares the Lord, “when this place will no longer be called Topheth or the valley of Ben-hinnom, but rather the valley of Slaughter.

 
     We should focus on God and not what the enemy is doing, but if we have the authority to kick a spirit such as Jezebel out of the Church, that is exactly what we have been given authority to do.  If the Lord did not want us to address the schemes of the enemy He would not have given us the authority to do so.  Now, I must say if you suspect a spirit of Jezebel in a church, I have heard only the pastor has authority to remove it.  I do not know this for sure, but I do believe it is true.  If the pastor has the spirit on him/her and/or refuses to see or address the spirit, then my only advice is to pack up your Bible and get out of there. 
     We have to ask God where He wants us going to church.  We have to ask Him occasionally if He still wants us where we are.  Being a believer is not always comfortable, in fact comfortable can be a sign we are in the wrong place.  Following Jesus requires much and it stretches us.  He wants us growing, not stuck in infancy.  Also remember, Jezebel does not only attack human babies or children, but spiritual babies are a huge target. 


“Christians have no business playing around with ideas of the devil as a fun-loving, beer-swigging guy who just wants you to have a good time.”
― Pedro Okoro, Crushing the Devil: Your Guide to Spiritual Warfare and Victory in Christ 

What if?

“Our failure to hear His voice when we want to is due to the fact that we do not in general want to hear it, that we want it only when we think we need it.”
― Dallas Willard, Hearing God


      I am in awe of how far God will go to communicate with us.  He has the whole world at His disposal and is willing to use it to speak to us.  We need only to pay attention and be willing to hear the answer.
     Yesterday, I had a friend call and ask if I wanted to give my day to Jesus with her.  I did.  I needed it.  I went to her house and we talked awhile, catching up and sharing what God is doing in our lives and then we set out to follow Jesus.  He first led us to a coffee shop and asked us to speak to a man who was having high anxiety, and his life was about to change.  We gave him the words God had given us for him and prayed with him.  One thing that stood out to me was that we went there only to talk to him.  We didn't even get a coffee.  He had to have seen this and known that Jesus sent us there just for him.  We didn't just pick someone out of the crowd, the Lord took us to him. 
     Next we were led to speak to a young man walking.  My friend was overwhelmed with the love Jesus had for this guy and he welled up with tears when she told him.  His heart was broken.  His significant other had left him and taken their daughter.  He was so open to our prayers for him.  It was amazing to see God use us as we were willing. 
     We sat in the car talking and praying about where Jesus wanted us to go next when we became engaged in a conversation about how many people are against women teaching or ministering to men.  We both struggle with this old religious rule.  Then we realized, when we both submitted and followed Jesus that day the first two people He took us to were men.  We had a good laugh.  He had answered our question before we asked Him.  He will answer if we are willing to pay attention and hear.
     I had a friend recently meet me for a late night snack.  We were leaving from the same place and meeting at a restaurant.  Even though we took different routes I was surprised by how long she was delayed.  She told me she had sat through three cycles of lights at the intersection and her left hand turn light never went green.  She was asking the Lord what He wanted.  She prayed for people around her, she moved her car forward and back to trigger the light, but nothing worked.  Finally after the third cycle it turned green and she went on her way.  Later in the conversation she asked me if I had heard a new song about Him waiting on us.  I couldn't help it.  I had to laugh.  I asked her if God had asked her to do something lately she was putting off and she confessed she was to write a letter but she was struggling.  I could clearly see the Lord was talking.  I have your journey stopped until you do what I have asked.  We won't even get into the left hand turn.  She realized the Lord was trying to get her attention. 
     I can see where some people who like to box up God can't imagine that He would talk to us in these ways.  Of course if it's not in scripture??    Maybe she should have waited at the light for a burning bush or for God to push her out of her car and strike her with blindness.  Maybe a donkey talking or an angel appearing would have been easier to believe. 
     I drove home one night asking God how to do something I felt He was asking me to do.  I saw two huge male deer standing in the opposite lane unshaken by the fact a car was driving by.  They both had a huge set of antlers and I found it odd just the two of them were standing there in the night watching me drive by.  Then I heard the Lord say He was sending someone to walk through it with me.  I saw by the appearance of the deer we have the same strengths and weaknesses.  Maybe it would have been clearer with donkeys?  Scripture, scripture.  It's funny how closely some want to follow scripture when they don't believe something and how loose they can be with it to twist it to what they want to convince us of.
     It is much easier to see when it's someone else at times, like my friend stopped at the light.  Sometimes it's by choice.  People choose not to see.  So what if there was a pastor who the Lord wanted to speak to and was not listening?  Let's just say he listened in the areas he wanted answers, but was not open to anything outside of that.  What if the enemy was totally influencing his ministry, but he refused to listen to the messages sent by God.  What if people who don't usually see the demonic, were wondering what they saw in his church.  What if the Lord placed a frog in his church and it croaked through every service?  Would he even recognize the message?  Then let's say when he paid no attention to the frog, the Lord sent a rat to torment him at home?    And when he was in a country the Lord said he was not to be in, on two separate days he was attacked by a bird.  Seriously, walking outside, a bird physically attacked his head and it hurt?  If this all happened within a couple months, how many people would notice a message being sent?  If the Lord lifted His hand off of this man and demons began tormenting him in his sleep, would he pay attention?
     What if many of us don't see what the enemy is doing, because we think the signs are ridiculous?  God knocked Paul of his horse and struck him blind to get his attention.  In todays world I could see many blaming God instead of asking what He wants them to see.  Especially in this country there is such an arrogance about our churches, that we are not open to them being under attack. 

Ezekiel 3:27New American Standard Bible (NASB)

27 But when I speak to you, I will open your mouth and you will say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord [a]God.’ He who hears, let him hear; and he who refuses, let him refuse; for they are a rebellious house.
.     I am not saying that every bad thing that happens is a sign that we are doing something wrong, but how many times do we ask God and believe He is not answering, when if we opened our minds to His communication, He is shouting loudly?  The Bible warns that in the last days there will be false teachers and prophets.  How will we recognize them?  By their fruit, but we need to open our hearing so God can speak to us, too.
     If we are not open to God speaking to us and warning us in unusual ways, then we are most likely blinding ourselves to what the enemy is doing also.  We are naïve to think the Church is not under attack.  The enemy will use any door we leave open.  To think our pastors and leaders have it all under control and are doing battle on our behalf is not being responsible.  We should be protecting them through prayer.  They can't be everywhere, they can't see everything, we aren't to spend our lives drinking milk.  This is a spiritual battle.  Many churches are being ruled by blind leaders who are too full of pride to admit there may be a problem.  The spirit of religion is flowing all over, the spirit of fear and perversion and even the spirit of control, Jezebel.  How many babies have to be miscarried in a church before somebody asks, "Is Jezebel sacrificing our children?" 


Numbers 22:30New American Standard Bible (NASB)

30 The donkey said to Balaam, “Am I not your donkey on which you have ridden all your life to this day? Have I ever been accustomed to do so to you?” And he said, “No.”

No thanks on the Broccoli?

“Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man... It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition is gone, pride is gone.”
― C.S. Lewis,Mere Christianity


   We have to be open to hearing truth.  Last night I was praying and worshipping with a group when the Lord showed me that there are people who have been doing Christianity for so long, they have fallen asleep.  They know the bible inside and out, and they know all the right answers, but the fire has gone out.  He showed me a picture of a cartoon from when I was a child.  Then He showed me one that looked more real.  Then He reminded me of a cartoon I had watched with the grandkids recently where I was impressed by how real the water appeared.  He said, "It's still fake."   Have you ever learned a job from someone who has been doing it for years and it's second nature.  They forget to tell you why they did what they did or how it affects the future moves you will have to make.  I learn by watching and it can take several times of walking through a process if the explanation is not clear.  How many people are living in an automatic and animated bible story instead of truly being in an on fire relationship with Jesus? 
     I heard a person say recently that they have followed Jesus for so long and they know His heart so well that they don't need to check with Him on every little thing they do.  I was reminded today how dangerous this thinking is.  I have a friend who is going to another friend for some healing ministry.  We all prayed and we all heard that I wasn't called to be a part of this.  We each got a different reason, but they were all good.  In fact we were in awe of God's plan.  I know God well enough to know He wants healing for this person and I could have just stepped in, but we listened to God's plan, because it is better by far.  We can never assume we know what God wants.  We should always proceed with our ears open to hearing Him say "No".  Even if it seems obvious that we are on the right track, it may not be going in the right direction.  
     I have been asking God about pride.  Expose any area of my life where pride may be ruling.  He did.  He told me I was wrong about someone.  I asked Him for confirmation.  I assumed I had thought negatively about someone when I shouldn't, but He gave me a zebra and told me to read about them.  The first thing He highlighted was that they used to think zebras were white with black stripes, but they now believe they are black with white stripes.  This spoke loudly to me.  I was believing for something good, when the Lord had told me it was not good and was about to fall.  My pride thinking I knew better on how to pray was actually getting in the way of God's plan.  My heart may have been right, but I was not open to hear truth.
     Another thing the Lord talked to me about last night, was how to determine a counterfeit.  He has told me before through a friend the best way to spot a counterfeit is to get to know the real thing so well that you recognize a fake immediately.  Then He said, pray for exposure of Truth instead of exposure of the lies.  Lies give the enemy glory, but Truth is about Jesus and who He is.      
     The other night when the Lord spoke to me about the zebra in my life, he brought me back to the story of David and Saul. This time he focused on Saul and pride.  In the beginning he appeared to be a humble man, reminding Samuel that he was the least of the least in the tribe of Benjamin.  Maybe it was the opposition and rejection he felt from the Israelites that planted the seed of insecurity that grew into pride.  Saul was a reminder of the sin and wickedness (according to Samuel) the Israelites had committed by demanding a king.  Did he believe he had to prove himself?  Was it being rocketed from a nobody to a king and his inability to handle the power that caused the insecurity that caused the pride?  The man had a temper, he randomly threw spears.  Something that stood out to me was that he threw a spear at David while he was singing, the exact thing David was called in to do for Saul when he was tormented by a spirit, so he could sleep.  Worshipping is the highest form of warfare. 
     Another thing that stood out to me was in 1 Samuel 15:30  Samuel had informed Saul that God was taking the kingdom from him for his disobedience.  Disobedience is a sign of pride in my book, because it means I have a better idea.  Ha.  We read the stories so many times, we sleep through it.  We should always pray for the Holy Spirit to read it with us, because there is too much in there for one life time of learning and we don't want to miss a thing.  Saul had disobeyed God.  God.  The Creator of the universe.  Samuel had told Saul that it upset the Creator enough to take his kingship from him.  He regretted appointing Saul king.  Samuel went through the whole thing about rebellion being witchcraft and stubbornness being as idolatry and what was Saul's response? 

1 Samuel 15:30 (NASB)

30 Then he said, “I have sinned; but please honor me now before the elders of my people and before Israel, and go back with me, that I may worship the Lord your God.”


   First of all the word "but" makes every word before it null and void. I have sinned BUT... honor me? Before the elders? Before Israel? I have let down, disobeyed, disregarded the will of my creator BUT honor me so I look good before man.  I guess it shouldn't surprise us a few chapters later when he murders priests.  Putting man's opinion of us before God's is pride. 
     Pride is choking the Church.  The Lord has shown me through fear, the enemy is using pride against God's people.  Pride separates us from each other.  Pride causes division in the Church.  I believe people sit on the fence because of pride.  Because of what man thinks.  Pastor's compromise and tickle the ears, please the congregation instead of God.   God is about to wipeout the fence.  It is time to choose.  Scripture says He will spew out of His mouth the lukewarm.  Scripture also says to confront your brother in Christ if he has fallen into sin.  I believe there are too many pastor's afraid to do this, because they want to be liked.  Discipline, calling out is part of love, but in this country of spoiled young, we don't see it that way.  You can't pick and choose which scripture to follow while  ignoring those you are uncomfortable with.  This is another form of lukewarm fence sitting.  It is all or nothing.  You are a scripture based Christ follower or you are not. 

     Years ago I went out to lunch with a group of people.  One of my friends mom was with us and she told me I had broccoli in my teeth.  I bit my fingernails so I could not get it out.  She finally leaned over and plucked it from my teeth.  Why this story now?  Because the way I see it; pride is like having broccoli in your teeth.  Everybody can see it, but you.  The only way to hide it is to keep your mouth shut or you can ask a friend to help you pluck it out.

Jesus loves you.


“Pride must die in you, or nothing of heaven can live in you.”
― Andrew Murray, Humility