― John Piper, Think: The Life of the Mind and the Love of God
Weird few days I have had. I was receiving puzzle pieces without realizing they were actual pieces that belonged to a much larger picture. I began to realize it two nights ago when I was broadsided by a buck. Over the last several weeks I have had a variety of animals run across the road in front of my car, but most didn't require any action, I just noted them. There was a deer standing in the ditch, a black squirrel crossed in front of me, an almost black deer and the same dog twice. Now the dog was a little different, because it was in my lane running toward me and I did have to brake for that. I took note of all of it, mentioned it to a friend and tucked it away.
Driving home night before last, the Lord struck up a conversation with me. He reminded me of a curse He says I have placed on my relationships. I have always said, they only last two years. I have been saying this for almost 30 years and it is true. The Lord pointed out that most of my closest friends, I met two years ago and it's time to break the curse. Being me, I argued. I explained to God that the curse only applied to "boyfriends" and "husbands" and some of them lasted longer. I also explained the curse did not apply to my friendships. He immediately pointed out a friendship with a male that had exploded after two years and no matter how we tried, we could not get it back. I told Him, I didn't care about that one and was fine with it ending. By this time of course I am in tears and don't want to talk about it. Sometimes He gets very persistent. I guess if He ever yelled, it seemed He was doing so by this time. He was insisting, "Break the curse!" and that was all He would say, over and over as I said, "I am not ready." over and over.
As the intensity increased, He said, "You are limiting what I can do for you." My response, "I don't care. I don't want the friendship and I am not ready to break the curse." Out of no where I saw the head of a buck with a full set of antlers and I realized he was about to hit me. I cringed as he plowed into the side of my car with a loud bang. I never slowed down, I never looked back, I just kept driving, me and God in silence. After a mile or so, I noticed my driver door mirror was completely gone. The Lord said, "Are you done looking back at the way things were? Break the curse." I did. I whispered the words He needed to release me from the curse I placed on my life. I turned around and drove back to where I thought it had happened and there was no trace of the deer or the mirror. Okay God, do what you will.
That night when I finally got home, I listened to two different sermons on my laptop. Then my laptop broke. I held the piece in my hand where I would actually plug in the cord to charge it. Nice. Thank you Jesus. It was only 8:30 when I shut it down and went to sleep. The Lord spoke to me about avoiding conversation with Him. He said I used my laptop to avoid Him. He didn't want me listening to a sermon if I could be talking to Him. I really didn't feel like it. As I told Him, I have given everything I own away for You God and all I have is a car and a laptop and this is not a good day. He said, "I can take those too." Some people would say, God doesn't talk to people like that, but to say that is limiting Him as much as having a curse on your life. To say that you know how God talks to each person, how He operates, is to say you don't need Him, because you already know everything.. I got that from one of the sermons I listened to instead of talking to God.
That night I had three dreams. One I don't remember. One was about me talking to a friend about repairing my laptop. That could either show i am obsessed with it, or what I believe it was confirming what God had said, because in my dream, my friend kept saying, "How am I supposed to work on it when you are on it all the time?" Yes, God, I hear You. The third dream was so strange, I put it away, believing it possibly was not from God or if it was, He would let me know what it meant when He was ready.
Yesterday was uneventful, though I had several conversations, wondering what the whole message was with the broadsiding buck. Today was a day of revelation. I dreamt last night I was in a room full of people all claiming to be prophets. I told them I was not concerned with a title, I only wanted to hear the Lord and obey. Then one of the men went into a lengthy explanation about how important it is, and what an honor it is when the Lord appoints you to a position. I was humbled in that dream. In the next I was holding a gun and trying to figure out where to aim it to shoot. It had to be where no one would be hurt, and where it would be the most effective. Weird.
I was babysitting today when I began to watch a sermon and the preacher said, "What if they weren't sent to do good in your life, but to grow you through adversity?" Suddenly,the deer made sense. We think of a deer as a beautiful, peaceful creature. Most times it would be pleasant to see one. But this buck brought a lesson. Then the Lord said, about the friend I was okay with losing, "What if a friendship was not the purpose as much as the growth you have received from losing the friendship? Yeah, I was like huh?
He explained it like this. A religious leader, the high priest, trying to follow God's rules, you would think would be happy to meet Jesus. In my pea brain, that made sense. But Jesus knew what the high priest was going to do - have Him crucified. Jesus had to be crucified to fulfill His purpose on earth. Jesus knew what the outcome of my friendship was going to be. Did He want to see the hurt and pain? No, but He knew I had to have those parts of my flesh crucified to fulfill my purpose. All scars have purpose. Jesus' scars saved God's people and our scars are meant to save people too. We could not fulfill our purpose without being crucified. Well, at least to our flesh.
How did all that come from the broadsiding buck? He was my friend. A good creature who was probably running for his life. For a deer to run into the side of a car, he had to be running from something. Trust me, as hard as he hit, denting up not easily dented places on the door and all the hair I found even around the key hole, he was moving. Did he mean to run into my car? i doubt that very much. The timing was just right, there had to be a lesson in it. So, he hit so hard, it changed the way I see the things around me, especially behind me.
So we dissect the dreams. What is a modern day prophet's responsibility? If you know, then you don't need God. To say that prophet's no longer warn people of things to come, or behavior changes that need to be made, is to say you know God's plan and so you don't need Him. I got that from the sermon. If we know what worship is, praise is, grace, how healing is to take place, etc then you don't need God. If He did everything the same every time, we would worship the process, instead of Him. It's just like these healing oils people are using, if you have the right combination to heal everything, then you don't need God. If it works the same way every time, you end up worshiping the oils not the true healer.
The dream about the gun was the power held in our hand when we hold the word of God. We have to use care and revelation to know where to aim it and where not to aim it. The third dream, that was really weird to me was about planning a murder. You can see why I didn't really want to share that. I didn't know who the man was or why we were planning this, but in the end God explained "Slander is murder" and in the end of the dream, we decided not to do it. He looked too happy! It was weird, but I got the point. Authority comes with power, but just because a person has power does not mean they have authority.
I guess if I had to simplify the lesson, I would say God does not want us to limit Him. He wants full submission. We limit Him through curses, beliefs, unforgiveness and basically siding with the enemy. If we are not giving God the authority in an area of our life, then guess who gets it? Yep, and with my help he has destroyed a lot of relationships in my life.
― E.M. Bounds, Power Through Prayer
No comments:
Post a Comment