― Mother Teresa
Some days I wake in the morning in tears for someone. I did today and a friend text me encouragement, because the Lord spoke to her. "I get it." is still a powerful statement in my world. I pray one person hears "I get it" when they read my ramblings.
Some days I feel like I am watching a line of Holocaust victims unknowingly walking toward their death. I can scream at them to run, they are going to die anyway. Why not take a chance on life, on God. But they look at me and they see a Nazi uniform, because that is the way they see Christians. We judge, we condemn, we think we are better than. That's what they see. That's what they believe. Religion with all it's rules and judgments. I am not one of them. I don't want to be one of them. I want to be the believer that Jesus asks us to be. I want them to see Him, not a religious uniform. God help me.
We come to You and ask for forgiveness of our sins and You exchange it for Your grace and mercy, You smash our sins with the cross, but Lord I am here today to say I am sorry for the lost sheep I walked past, in too much of a hurry to hear Your voice. I am sorry for every mouth that is dying for food that I have not fed. Forgive me for all the prayers I sent to You for my comfort when so many of Yours are in deep pain. Lord forgive me. Forgive me for not hearing You when You speak of blessing others but I am stuck in my own circumstances. Forgive me for thinking of speaking to millions when all You ask is that I reach that one, just that one broken heart that You weep for. Lord forgive me for the nights I was too tired to say a prayer of protection over Your child, the mornings You woke me before dawn and I grumbled and went back to sleep when You just wanted to talk with me. Lord forgive me, forgive me for not healing the sick, casting out the demons and weeping with those who weep and grieving for the souls of Your babies who are wandering in the darkness. Forgive me for glorifying my works, for glorifying my name instead of Yours. Forgive me for ever tear I cried over needless things while Your children cry for just one hand, one hand to reach out and take theirs. Forgive me for holding onto bitterness against Your child who has done nothing compared to the wretched things I have done, for holding others in contempt for committing the very sin You forgave me for. Forgive me for throwing the word grace around until it has no meaning left in it, for holding back mercy, forgiveness, and love. Forgive me for judging those who live in the same pits I live in, under the same cloud of doubt that follows me and who choose the darkness I retreat to at times. I am nothing, I am weak, I hurt, for those I have harmed, for those You weep for. Lord show me, show me who You want me to be, no matter how it hurts. Show me those You would send me to and stretch me until I see this world through Your eyes. I ask that the blessings I receive are not because I asked for them, the mercy You grant me is not because I beg for it, and the grace You give never loses it's meaning in my eyes. Lord never allow me to grow numb to Your heart. Never allow me to quench the fire that burns in my belly, to shallow Your word, or be free of the pain that drives me to my knees. Lord forgive me. Your babies are dying and I don't want to stand here and watch them walk by. Give me your words, Your wisdom, revelation to accomplish everything You have designed me to do. Don't allow me to waste a minute of this life You gave me for Your purpose. Never, never Lord, allow me to take the credit for that which You do through me. Blessed is Your name, perfect is Your plan, stop me Lord if I ever get in Your way.
“Go, stand and speak to the people in the temple the whole message of this Life.”
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