Ministry Rules?

“My job as a Christian is not to get people to heaven when they die, it's to get heaven to people while they're alive”
― D.R. Silva

     Too many times we measure our ministry by the applause we receive from some clever quip we recite. But if you think back to the times a speaker busted a chain loose that had held your heart in bondage for a life time, there was no applause. There was a moment, probably unexpected when a raw word was spoken and immediately out of no where a lump took form in your throat and your eyes became wet with tears as the chain fell. It was followed by a sigh and a starry eyed, gaze of freedom. 
     Putting any rules to ministry is putting limits on the Holy Spirit.  Sometimes we are called to step out of the man made safety guardrails and step out onto a road of risky ministry.  There is a rule I have always believed in that the Lord is telling me is not His rule.  Men minister to men and women minister to women.  This is not always the case.  What about Jesus and the woman at the well.  He was not supposed to be talking to her, according to man made rules, but He did and He spoke truth and He set her free.  Now you could argue that it was Jesus and he did not sin, so obviously there was no threat of lust, but He was in a man's body.  No excuses.  Aren't we supposed to behave like Him.   
     In Matthew 8 Jesus tells the adulterous woman to go and sin no more.  He didn't use the word "unless" in any of his statements.  He didn't say, Go and sin no more unless you are a man who has a problem with lust, because Hey you're a guy and guys can't help it.  He did not tell the woman "unless" you meet the right man, then go ahead and sleep with him before you wed.  He didn't say, Go and sin no more, unless you are a gossip and you are requesting prayer so you can tell so and so what what's her name did.  He said, "Go and sin no more."  He would not tell us to do something that is impossible.  He didn't ask to hear her excuses. 
     As in any ministry, I believe we go when we are called.  We may be able or familiar with an issue a person is having trouble with, but we may not be the one He has called to deal with it.  I have seen most times the minister receives as much as the one being ministered to and I would hate to take someone's lesson or blessing.  I also believe there are precautions.  You may want to check for confirmation from God if you think He is telling you to go get a drunk out of the bar and your last relapse was yesterday.  But who knows, he might, cause He is wiser than me.  He probably won't call you to minister to the opposite sex if you are having a problem yet with porn, lust or perversion, but who knows?  God doesn't always make sense by our earthly wisdom.
     When I reached out for Christ, He sent a man.  I questioned many times why.  But He limited our conversation to email, mostly.  We rarely saw each other in person, except for at church.  He was the pastor so it didn't leave a lot of time for failure.  Because the pastor had an affair years earlier and I had made the same mistake, it did not make sense that God would send him to help me out of the pit, but He did.  There were many who said it should not be, but we both knew it was God.
     One morning the Lord told me to email him.  We emailed almost every day, so I had to ask what He wanted me to say.  When I sat down at the computer the Lord told me to apologize.  For what?  For my affairs.  For destroying married men's lives.  Then He had me apologize for hurting their wives.  I was crying my eyes out the whole time I was writing the email.  When the pastor read the email, he did the same.  The woman he had been with years ago, never took responsibility for her part or apologized to him or his wife, for what she had done.  I have to say here that he had apologized to her and her husband.  There was tremendous healing for both of us that day and there were many other times that we ministered to each other in ways that could not have happened between people of the same gender.
     Many times our deepest wounds are from the opposite sex and we need the opposite sex to set us free.  If we hold bitterness for what someone did to us, we often times will find ourselves repeating the sin toward someone else.  For instance, bitterness held for his mistress not taking responsibility for her part, can cause him to refuse to take responsibility for hurt he has caused without realizing it.  What ever demons torment us from the outside can move inside if we don't forgive.  What ever was done to us, we can end up doing to others if we don't heal the wound.  Abused kids, often grow up to abuse.  Children of alcoholics become alcoholics.  You are forgiven and set free as much as you forgive and release others. 
     There is high value in having friends of the same gender and it can be freeing, but sometimes a wound caused by man needs to be healed through a man and a wound caused by a woman, needs to be healed through a woman, no matter what gender we are.
 

“No life is messier than one in ministry”
― Jerry B. Jenkins