Family Box?

"Life in a box is better than no life at all ... I expect." - Tom Stoppard

The girl woke up feeling the painful cramping in her legs from having them pulled up under her all night.  The box she lived in with her family seemed to be getting smaller, or was she growing out of it?  She watched her mother struggle to get around her baby brother to prepare their breakfast.

"Tell me a gain, mother, why do we stay in this box?"

"I have told you a thousand times and I'll say it again, it's dangerous out there."

"What's out there that is so dangerous?"

"A beast."

"Have you ever seen it?"

"No, because I stay in here where it's safe."

The girl noticed her little brother's eyes and could see he was afraid.  He didn't like to talk about the beast.  The girl knew that her mother was contributing to her brother's fear. 

The little boy looked up at his mother, "What is the name of the beast?"

Mother raised her arms like a scary animal and in a deep voice said, "The Unknown."

Her little brother trembled and she felt sorry for him.

"Mother, you're scaring him."

"He needs to be scared so he will stay in here where it's safe."

"Tell me again why we have to keep these buckets with us?"

"Again, because they hold our secrets and our life goal, our job is to keep our secrets in our buckets so nobody else can see them."

"I looked in your bucket mother."

"You did what?  Girl, go to your corner."

"But mother, we have many of the same things in our buckets.  I saw fear, anger, and lots of other things in your bucket that I have in mine."

"Shhhh.  Never speak of bucket contents again and go to your corner."

The girl curled up in her corner with her bucket.  Through a crack in the flap on the roof of their box, she noticed sunshine.  As she stared up at it, she said, "Mother, I can't grow in here.  I think being cramped up with all of you in this box is stunting my growth."

"There is no reason to grow.  Your heart is beating and that's all that matters."

"I want to grow."

"You are becoming a pain.  The more you talk the more full my bucket gets of useless secret anger and I am about to have it all spill out, so you quiet yourself."

The girl thought about her mothers warnings and decided she would rather face the beast outside than the beasts inside her family box.  She threw open the flap and steped out into the sunshine.  There were people every where.  They were smiling and talking and people were free to see in each other's buckets, but the odd thing was, nobody seemed to care what was in there.

Mother poked her out, "Get back in here young lady! Do you want everyone to see your secrets?"

"But mother ..."

"Get in here."

"Mother, all our secrets are written on the outside of our box."

"What?  What are you talking about?  What does it say?"

"Anger, abuse, unforgiveness, denial... denial is written all over the box, in several places."

"Did you do that?"

"No ma'am.  It was on there when I got out here."

"Get back in here now."

"No.  I'm going to take my bucket and look around."

The mother hollered after her but she walked away swinging her bucket and looking wide eyed at the world around her.

 

Comfort zones are plush lined coffins.  When you stay in your plush lined coffins, you die. - Stan Dale
 

Hours passed and the girl returned to her family box.  When she reached for the flap her mother poked her head out.  "Where have you been?"

"The House of God."

"What is that?"

"It's a store.  You can get anything you want there.  I traded some of my secrets."

"You did what?"

"I traded some of my secrets.  I gave my past for a new life.  I gave a lot of my anger for some of this forgiveness to share with my family, Mother."

"I don't want it."

"I got lots.  The Man there was giving mercy and grace away for free, you just have to take it."

"I cannot believe you.  You went against me and made a fool of yourself.  Now our secrets are out there never to be taken back."

"I didn't really want them anyway."

"It's not about want.  It's about what is."

"Mother, please try it.  Come out of the box."

"I am not about to risk running into the beast."

"I saw the beast, mother.  It was at the playground with the little children.  Actually mother there are several Unknowns and they mostly hang around the children, but they are friendly.  I petted a couple of them."

"You did what?"

"They are friendly creatures, not beasts.  I have to admit I was a little scared at first, but then one came up and licked my hand and I wasn't scared anymore."

"You, young lady are no longer welcome in this box."  With that she disappeared inside the box and slammed the flap behind her.

The girl stood for awhile looking at her family box as the word judgment appeared on the side of it.  She looked down at her bucket full of new and exciting things.  She was a little sad for a moment, but then she picked up her bucket and skipped off to the park to pet more of The Unknowns.

Change hurts.  It makes people insecure, confused and angry.  People want things to be the same as they have always been, because that makes life easier.  But if you are a leader, you can't let your people hang on to the past.

Richard Marcinko