― Dallas Willard, Hearing God: Developing a Conversational Relationship with God
Dave has been speaking on the many ways we hear
from God. Through his teaching I realized there are ways I hear from God
that I have not been giving full credit to God, but believing I have some sort
of sense about people. One way I like to hear from God is through dreams,
but it can be confusing. I think part of the reason I enjoy this means of
communication is that there is a little puzzle solving on my part. There
have been several times I have asked Him to speak to me in my dreams and I wake
thinking, "That was a weird dream, but why didn't God talk to me."
The more I think about it, the more I realize He has.
I have been feeling disconnected, like I am missing something
lately. I want to walk away some days and just be a Sunday morning Christian,
because this life can be difficult and draining at times. But last night God
kept giving me words. Just words. The first thing He said was
"prophetic word". I had picked up my book and sat down to read.
My first thought was that I had read those words on the cover of my book,
but I couldn't find them any where. I knew God had said them. Soon
He gave me the word "lion". Immediately I thought of the enemy
moving about as a lion. As the night went on I asked for more and got more, but
at the same time demons were confusing me. I could sense the difference
and finally asked God to make it clear in my dreams. I also asked Him to
keep any demonic influence from interrupting my sleep and my dreams.
This morning I woke, believing I had had a strange dream and God
had not talked to me, but then I realized He had and it was very interesting.
In my dream I lived in the house I grew up in, but it was mine.
There was a man there to repair the phones and he said to me, "Do
you hear all that interference? There is something interfering with the
signal." I walked into the kitchen and found something like a surge
protector box near the stove. There was a cord with 220 and a cord with
110 running from the box. Neither cord was completely plugged in.
There were sparks flying every where. My first thought was to
somehow plug them in all the way, but then my thought was to flip the switch on
the box and completely shut off the power. This was for my safety.
Throughout the day with guidance from God, I have discovered the
meaning. The 220 line represents the power, teaching, wisdom, etc that I
get from God. The 110 represents the teaching and guidance I get from
Dave. I haven't been completely plugged in to either relationship the
last few days. I have wanted to shut off the box for my safety and run away. I
believe the fact that I lived in the house I grew up in represents that the
issue affecting my ability to be plugged in has been around for a long time,
most of my life. Communication with God and with Dave has not been good
the last few days. There has been interference in both relationships. I like to blame them. It's easier to believe they have somehow walked away from me.
I finally asked God to tell me what it is. What is keeping
me from being completely plugged in? Through things I have read and
sermons I listened to today, I realized it is trust. Every time I take a
step forward and move to a deeper level in relationship, I tend to follow it
with a huge step back. Fear and lack of trust. Some days I want to
close the door on God and Dave and I want to go some where far away.
God has also asked me what I want. Do I want to have a
deeper relationship with Him? It's like planning a road trip. Yes,
I have decided I want to go from where I am at, to the deepest relationship I
can have with Him. Trust is a huge part of that road trip. First,
He plans the route and second, He drives. There shouldn't be that much to
sitting in the passenger seat and holding on. But then I find God has me
climbing into the back seat to dig up "crappage" from the past that
He wants to examine (taking His eyes off the road). He tends to take
corners faster than I am comfortable with. When I want Him to drive fast
over the bridges, because of my fear, He slows to a crawl pointing out the
distance from us to the raging water below. Riding with God is no Sunday
afternoon cruise through the park. I have been tempted to throw open the
door and tuck and roll. There are perma-prints in the dash where I have
held on for dear life. My knuckles are perma-white. Trust? I
have never been a very good passenger.
Then there is Dave who is laughing as he points out the "Oh
crap" handles above the door and reminds me that I don't need a seat belt
when God is driving. I'm supposed to trust these two? Some days I
just climb in the backseat and pull a blanket over my head. Napping is
out of the question though as my head slams against the door. I'm trying to work
on serious issues right now while the music is blaring and the wheels are
coming off the ground. They who say being a Christian is boring have
never gotten in the car with God behind the wheel. But if you want to go
from here to there you can't tuck and roll out of the car. Trust.
“Our failure to hear His voice when we want to is due to the fact that we do not in general want to hear it, that we want it only when we think we need it.”
― Dallas Willard, Hearing God: Developing a Conversational Relationship with God
No comments:
Post a Comment