Freedom

“Freedom is not something that anybody can be given. Freedom is something people take, and people are as free as they want to be”
― James Baldwin


     As I continue to examine this rage and why it has returned, I hear the Lord ask if my anger is righteous.  I believe it is.  The enemy has a plan and that plan is being enabled without any desire for truth.  I was talking with a friend the other night and she agreed, my anger is righteous anger.  The way I handled it is not. 
     We hear all the time about the love and grace and mercy of Christ, but what about the death.  What about the beating, the crown of thorns, the spit in His face?  What about the flesh hanging from His back?  Did He go through all that so I could rage at others?  No!  Because He went through that the very very least I can do is fight for the answers to finding freedom.  What is the stronghold. 
     I met a man a week ago who has an anointing to pray against the darkness of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder )  I have been diagnosed with and treated for PTSD most of my life.  I asked him to pray for me.  I believed this could be part of the problem, but when he prayed and I felt a burden lift from me, I was pretty sure this was bigger than I had thought.  He asked the Lord to fill me with peace, joy and His love.  I immediately had a hot flash and I don't believe it had anything to do with getting older.  I felt changed. 
     Later he explained to me that the spirit of PTSD will throw the others under the bus.  I have prayed against anger, fear, etc. etc., but PTSD has all these things covered.  He has prayed for many vets with PTSD and God has changed their lives.  I feel like I am back in alignment. 
     Too many people get stuck half way.  They are unwilling to stay the course.  Jesus didn't quit.  Neither should we.  There is so much more out there He has for us.  Stopping before we reach full freedom is like crossing a bridge only halfway, partially climbing a mountain and missing out on the view at the top, or stopping in the birth canal.  It can actually be dangerous.  To not pursue complete freedom is to be lukewarm.  Finding enough light to be comfortable can leave us in the darkness.  The only thing worse is knowing Him intimately and turning away. 
     The real change was recognized on the drive home.  I suddenly was overwhelmed with the desire to pray for the salvation of every person who had abused me.  I have forgiven and I have prayed blessings, but now I wanted complete freedom for each of them.  I listed them by name and prayed for their salvation and complete freedom with an urgency in my heart I had never felt before.  This is what Jesus wants for each of us and we don't want it for the people who have hurt us the deepest, then we still have work to do.  There is something in the way and it is our responsibility to figure out what that is and deal with it.  It's easy to do, just as Jesus to show you.  The hard part is being willing to hear Him.
     Never be satisfied enough to stay where you are.  There is a depth to Christ that we will never reach on earth, but to stop striving for it could be costly. 

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”
― Ernest Hemingway