“We received it by asking. This means that even very gifted people are not necessarily mature Christians. They may not even have good character. Therefore, the gifts of the Spirit do not validate our walk with God.”
― Kris Vallotton, Basic Training for the Prophetic Ministry
About five years ago I went through an intense time of learning. I was learning to hear the Lord and learning about my whole life, the why's, the how's and the where was Jesus answers. The Lord used the pastor in my life to teach me to hear Him. He would speak to me and the pastor would confirm with scripture or facts about him or sometimes say, "That doesn't sound like Jesus." I learned to hear His voice, what to share, what not to share, when to speak about it and when to pray about it.
I will never forget one lesson that took me by surprise. I asked a question, nothing too personal, just a question about the pastor. After all the Lord had used him many times to teach me, but this time He said "No". In fact I asked the question and His answer was quite clear, "That is none of your business." Instantly I knew it was true, it was none of my business. This was more learning. Many times since then, I have been in conversation with the Lord and had Him say, it's not your business. In fact, there have been times He has told me to pray for someone, but gives me no info on how to pray. Thank Him for tongues!!
I have gotten some words lately from people and they have been wrong. I have asked the Lord repeatedly, "Am I just not looking at myself or my situation clearly?" Finally, I asked, "What am I missing here?" One of these people is usually right on and not quick to speak, yet this time I felt she was wrong. I have asked several times for Him to show me truth. Well it came in one sentence. People who ask God about others private information are usually gossips. I started looking at the people around me. The Lord showed me one HUGE clue. When you are going through something, there will be people who ask, "How can I pray for you?" This comes from a place of love. This gives me a chance to request specific prayer, without sharing more than I want to share. Please pray I hear confirmation, I wait on the Lord, I have courage to do as He asks, etc. without details.
Then there are those who tell you about their conversation with God about you and what He is doing in your life. Really? You're wrong. That is not at all what He is showing me or the two people I have asked to pray through this with me. I learned a while back, that many things are not my business and that's okay. The deeper I go with Him the more I pray in tongues for people and keep my own dysfunctional words out of it.
There is the person who runs with what they think God told them and turn everything to align with that lie, but my question is: If God is against gossip and we repeatedly ask Him about other people's business and His response is not what we want to hear, Nunya business, then who are we hearing? If we are not open to hear the Lord say "No" then all we will hear is "Yes" and if the Lord isn't saying "Yes" who is? Many times in my life, I have asked the Lord what I thought was a yes or no question and He answers with something totally different and even sometimes a question of His own. If I am not open to whatever He wants to say, then I am only open to what I want to hear.
Since the stroke, 4 1/2 months ago, I have dealt with a lot of this kind of communication. I think it's called going off half cocked. It makes me angry, it hurts my feelings and it isolates me. The issues of the stroke I deal with the most are fatigue, my stomach does not tell me when I am hungry, my bladder does not tell me when it is full, my right arm feels like it is in a bucket of ice at all times, muscle aches, my night vision is much worse, my hearing has changed as sometimes everything blends together and equally frustrating as the fatigue is my inability to retain information I read. If you tell me I will remember but if I read it, it goes into a black hole somewhere. I used to read a lot and I started a book the beginning of the year that should have taken me two days, but all this time later, I am half way and can't tell you what the story is about. So with all these lovely changes to my life, the more tired I am, the worse these things are. I choke on my own spit, the right side of my face goes numb, I can't speak well, my muscles ache constantly and I am trying desperately to build up my stamina. I have had two people, say things to me lately about not getting enough physical activity. Really? One was a doctor who was focused on one particular issue, unaware of the stroke. The other was a friend who I haven't really spent much time with at all. Unaware of what I do daily, yet speaking about what I should do is just like getting a word from the enemy about what God is doing in my life.
Ann Lamott says “You can safely assume you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.” When God agrees with us on what somebody needs to do, there is a good chance it is not God at all. We build formulas for healing, for ministering, for teaching, but with formulas, there is no need for Jesus. We get these ideas in our heads that we know what somebody needs, but how can we? We don't know it all. We have to be listening to Jesus at all times and be willing to hear what He wants to say, not what we want to hear.
The other morning, after talking about this for a few days with the Lord, I woke up grabbed a pen and started writing the words He was giving me to speak to others:
I could tell you the whole story, every little detail, but you can't possibly know the whole story. Why? Because there are actually times in history that affect the story, affect who the characters are, but if I don't realize those times are part of the story, then I won't tell them as part of the story and you can't possibly know the whole story. This applies to every story, no matter who owns the story. The only one who knows the whole entire story is Jesus and He holds on to moments that affect the story and keeps them close to Him. Mysteries? To know those moments may be to know Him, because there is really only one story... His story and we may only have a paragraph in a very big story. Maybe only a verse? Some may only be a word in His story. Is this why it is so difficult to believe that we are important and loved by Him, because in His huge story, we are but a word.
Scripture clearly says not to claim your words are His words. Only His words, should be called His words. With all the people who speak without first hearing, the people who finish sentences incorrectly, the people who hear others words, but then say "That's not what they really meant", it's hard to say who is truly listening to the Lord and only repeating, saying what he wants said. Yes, we all get it wrong at times, but we must spend twice as much time listening than we do talking. Would you want to be misquoted??
“Pastors and leaders must recognize, and then relinquish, any methods of control and manipulation they exercise. They must cease to gossip against fellow pastors and other believers, to talk disrespectfully about other ministries, or to reveal personal tidbits shared in confidence with them. Pastors who have privileged information, are sometimes the worst offenders of gossip. They must refrain from talebearing, before the wineskin tears.”
― John Paul Jackson, Unmasking the Jezebel Spirit
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