give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow
Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may
glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
― Anonymous, Holy Bible: King James Version
I found myself in a very strange situation. It wasn't the first time, in fact it is becoming a regular occurrence. I was standing amongst a group of women and we were praying for each other. Our focus would move from one to the next as God led us. Each personality contributed in a different way. The Holy Spirit's presence not only filled each one of us, but the whole house we were in. We had gathered that day to hear a confession of sorts and as each truth was told, truths spilled out of everyone present.
As I looked around the room I knew each personality had been hand picked by God Himself to be placed with perfect timing in my life. Each teaching me different things and exposing different truths to me about myself. We came together as sisters in Christ wanting more out of our individual walks and finding it by walking together.
As we were praying over one of the ladies, a friends young daughter joined us. I believe she is about nine years old. This little girl has such an innocence about here and she laid her hand on each woman and prayed with a boldness I so wished I had myself, let alone my children. Every time I would hear her sweet voice praying to God something happened inside me, the Lord would flash pictures in front of me of myself at about the same age. The pictures were faded and I could barely make out it was me. I would immediately feel a lump form in my throat and have to fight back tears. Finally, I couldn't fight it any longer. I moved to the side and sat down, still fighting tears. Two women began to pray over me and looking back I see it was planned by God as He knows me, better than I know myself.
One woman was telling me how much God loves me, which made it impossible to stop the tears. While the other woman, Connie put her hands on my back. There was something about her hands. There was something about this woman. There was a comfort that drew me to her. A part of me, that little girl, wanted so badly to turn around and just fall into her arms, but there was the part of me who has been in charge for most my life who listens to the enemy, who said, "You will freak her out." She was just praying over me, that's all. I had been drawn to her from the moment we met, but who said I was anyone to her? The enemy worked me over. "Knock it off. You are stealing the attention and it does not belong to you. You are being selfish. This is not about you." Then they both began to sing. I didn't know the song, but I felt it in my heart. I wanted them to sing forever. Music is a way God soothes me and I knew it was from Him.
Dave has told me for the last year that one day he hopes I could let somebody hold me while I let it all out. This is so foreign to me that I would laugh when he said it, but now here was this part of me wanting something I didn't know how to take. I eventually pulled myself together the best I could and tried to paint on an "I'm fine" face. But I knew if my eyes met Connie's I would not last. I fought it and avoided eye contact until I had it shoved down to a place where I thought I could act normal until I left. I even felt in control enough that I would be able to hug her "goodbye", but she had gone before I had a chance.
I went to pick up my grandson and several times over the next hour or so struggled to fight back the tears. What was happening to me? I don't even know who I am anymore. I knew God was up to something. When I got home I had to send her a message, telling her she was special to me. I told her about the little girls voice and the pictures God was showing me. Her response blew me away. I had to read it a couple times. She had realized I was avoiding eye contact and felt she had done something wrong and/or freaked me out. The enemy had turned it around and made somebody who is special to me beyond explanation feel the total opposite. I was instantly angry at the enemy for using me to hurt someone I care about. The only thing that could possibly take me out of that angry place was her next words. "I wanted to hug you & hold you like you were a little girl, but was afraid. I look at you & just stinking LOVE you." No more holding back tears for me. I was a mess.
God has been showing me amazing blessings for all when we obey. Many times He has told me to say things to people and my fear is that they we will think I am weird. I have realized how many times the enemy wins when we don't tell people how we feel. I told God, "There's something about Connie God and You know it. She is special to me." and God told me, "Tell her." Thank Him I did. The enemy could have destroyed a friendship that day with the lies he was whispering to both of us, but God didn't let that happen.
Who knows what God has planned for this friendship. We have some bonds others can't possibly understand. But I find security in knowing we exposed the enemy's lies. More importantly, we were handpicked and planted by God in the same garden, His garden to grow.
I think it would be a good thing to share! Go for it...you can use my name too, I have absolutely no problem with it. In fact I wish you would...slap the truth out there! - My friend, Connie
As I looked around the room I knew each personality had been hand picked by God Himself to be placed with perfect timing in my life. Each teaching me different things and exposing different truths to me about myself. We came together as sisters in Christ wanting more out of our individual walks and finding it by walking together.
As we were praying over one of the ladies, a friends young daughter joined us. I believe she is about nine years old. This little girl has such an innocence about here and she laid her hand on each woman and prayed with a boldness I so wished I had myself, let alone my children. Every time I would hear her sweet voice praying to God something happened inside me, the Lord would flash pictures in front of me of myself at about the same age. The pictures were faded and I could barely make out it was me. I would immediately feel a lump form in my throat and have to fight back tears. Finally, I couldn't fight it any longer. I moved to the side and sat down, still fighting tears. Two women began to pray over me and looking back I see it was planned by God as He knows me, better than I know myself.
One woman was telling me how much God loves me, which made it impossible to stop the tears. While the other woman, Connie put her hands on my back. There was something about her hands. There was something about this woman. There was a comfort that drew me to her. A part of me, that little girl, wanted so badly to turn around and just fall into her arms, but there was the part of me who has been in charge for most my life who listens to the enemy, who said, "You will freak her out." She was just praying over me, that's all. I had been drawn to her from the moment we met, but who said I was anyone to her? The enemy worked me over. "Knock it off. You are stealing the attention and it does not belong to you. You are being selfish. This is not about you." Then they both began to sing. I didn't know the song, but I felt it in my heart. I wanted them to sing forever. Music is a way God soothes me and I knew it was from Him.
Dave has told me for the last year that one day he hopes I could let somebody hold me while I let it all out. This is so foreign to me that I would laugh when he said it, but now here was this part of me wanting something I didn't know how to take. I eventually pulled myself together the best I could and tried to paint on an "I'm fine" face. But I knew if my eyes met Connie's I would not last. I fought it and avoided eye contact until I had it shoved down to a place where I thought I could act normal until I left. I even felt in control enough that I would be able to hug her "goodbye", but she had gone before I had a chance.
I went to pick up my grandson and several times over the next hour or so struggled to fight back the tears. What was happening to me? I don't even know who I am anymore. I knew God was up to something. When I got home I had to send her a message, telling her she was special to me. I told her about the little girls voice and the pictures God was showing me. Her response blew me away. I had to read it a couple times. She had realized I was avoiding eye contact and felt she had done something wrong and/or freaked me out. The enemy had turned it around and made somebody who is special to me beyond explanation feel the total opposite. I was instantly angry at the enemy for using me to hurt someone I care about. The only thing that could possibly take me out of that angry place was her next words. "I wanted to hug you & hold you like you were a little girl, but was afraid. I look at you & just stinking LOVE you." No more holding back tears for me. I was a mess.
God has been showing me amazing blessings for all when we obey. Many times He has told me to say things to people and my fear is that they we will think I am weird. I have realized how many times the enemy wins when we don't tell people how we feel. I told God, "There's something about Connie God and You know it. She is special to me." and God told me, "Tell her." Thank Him I did. The enemy could have destroyed a friendship that day with the lies he was whispering to both of us, but God didn't let that happen.
Who knows what God has planned for this friendship. We have some bonds others can't possibly understand. But I find security in knowing we exposed the enemy's lies. More importantly, we were handpicked and planted by God in the same garden, His garden to grow.
I think it would be a good thing to share! Go for it...you can use my name too, I have absolutely no problem with it. In fact I wish you would...slap the truth out there! - My friend, Connie
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