Journaling

God is the perfect poet. ~Robert Browning
         
     Until I was an adult, History was not my favorite subject.  Then I took a renaissance history class at the community college and I was amazed by my interest.  It was actually studying Martin Luther that caught my attention.  I couldn't get enough.  Since then I realize, I love history.  There is so much to learn from it.  The Bible is the greatest history lesson of all.  There is a reason every story was told there.  There is so much to learn.
     I have had several people suggest journaling to me.  How boring.  Writing down the days events?  What did I even eat for dinner?  Are you serious?  But I see this differently now.  In the attempt to write my story, I have gone back through thousands of emails sent back and forth between me and Dave.  It's amazing what I have learned by going back.  They say hindsight is 20/20. 
     When I go back and read the emails I see me on a merry-go-round asking repeatedly, "Why am I not getting anywhere?"  Well, get off the merry-go-round.  I continually went in circles looking for a place to get off, but afraid to make the step into change.  Maybe a "right" turn instead of that continual left?  It's almost comical for me, probably not so much for Dave.
     There were times of demonic attack that I thought I was losing my mind and it's difficult to go back and read those emails.  Shoot, some of them don't even make sense.  But also what I see are patterns.  These patterns consist of attacks before blessings.  The size of the attack seems to be in line with the size of the bigger blessing.  There were many times also that the blessings came before the attacks and probably were the biggest reason I survived it. 
     Writing the story of your life is also a huge history lesson.  I have seen many times that the hand of God had to be on me.  It's the only way I could survive.  I see patterns of behavior with the same outcome every time, followed by the same questions, "Why?  Why God are you doing this to me?"  It's embarrassingly comical. 
     Recently I felt like God was telling me something, but because people didn't agree that the message was valid, I decided I was wrong.  It must be the enemy.  When I gave up and decided I had made a major mistake, God took me back to two dreams He had given me over a year ago and explained them to me.  I was right.  He was saying what I thought He was saying.  I went back and dug up the emails for the details and it was amazing the accuracy of how the dream lined up with what I was hearing now. 
     In the last days we will have visions and dreams.  These are ways that God can talk to us.  I have asked specifically for dreams and He has shown up.  Often times He gives us visions and dreams long before the actual event happens.  This is one of the reasons journaling is beneficial.  I can go back through these emails and see how he was confirming back then what was going to happen today.  History is a good predictor of the future ... unless you change it.