“Jesus, Willard says, “does not call us to do what he did, but to be as he was, permeated with love. Then the doing of what he did and said becomes the natural expression of who we are in him.”
― Dallas Willard, The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life In God  


     Well, here I sit finding another way to avoid doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing.  I am a procrastinator for one thing and for another, I struggle to believe I am doing the right thing.  I am the queen of doubt.  I can hear instruction from the Lord and within 5 minutes have myself completely talked out of it.  Well, that can't be God, because it doesn't make sense.  That can't be God, because God knows I am not capable of that.  That can't be God because the cow across the street is not purple.  Yeah, I know it gets pretty ridiculous.
     All I have heard from God for months is "write".  Get your story written so I can move you on to other things.  Well, here's the deal - What if "other things" is scary?  What if it is over my head?  God seems to have a bit more confidence in me than what I have.  And the enemy seems to be using a megaphone, while Christ is whispering only one word of instruction, "write, write, write."  But, but, but what if it's not Him? 
     As I sit here and contemplate whether God is talking to me or not, He sends me little messages through others, about how important our testimony is to others.  He reminds me of all the amazing things He has done for me and through me.  I truly feel like what He is telling me to do is write my story and attend a writer's conference the first week of June.  I have paid for the conference, but not working for 6 months, I am running low on funds.  So here is the deal - If you read this silly little blog of mine where I pour out my life lessons and the steps I go to process those lessons and you have come back more than one time, because you got something out of this, then let's prove a point here as a team.  I am asking for prayer. 

1.  I need to focus to get my book done
2. I need to really hear God in what to take out of the story and what to leave in
3. If I am supposed to go to the conference, I need funds to do it.
4. I need income, like a job or the sale of a book. 
5. I think a miracle to share on this blog would be amazing, so I'm asking for that too.

     Also, when I divide my story into chapters, I would like to include a scripture at the beginning of each chapter.  I am asking for any scripture or quote that has really helped you in your growth.  My calling, my purpose, I believe is to expose the enemy and speak to the broken.  Sharing in this blog has really helped me, because I have had some really good feedback to how it has helped you.  I would like to include those scriptures and quotes from you in my book.  Whether this book goes anywhere or not, I have learned and healed a lot from writing it and I am only days from finishing it and then I will start editing. 
     So, if you will all pray for me, I will be sure to blog about the answers to those prayers.  I want to be in the Father's will more than anything else.  I am praying for you to find His will for your lives too.  Let's change this world.