“I was only able to get over my past when I decided I was going to! As I’ve discovered, that’s how everything starts. I decided to get out of bed this morning. I decided to get ready for work (D’oh! Another early morning). Everything I did today was because I made a decision. Although we can’t set ourselves free, getting up and making a decision to move on from our past is a step in the right direction. We can’t do God’s part, and He won’t do our part. He can’t make that decision for you, because only you can. But once you have made that decision, He can help you with the rest.”
― Corallie Buchanan, Watch Out! Godly Women on the Loose
I am at a fork in the road. Actually I feel like every part of my life is forked right now. I have several decisions in front of me. What's really funny is that as I wrote that, I remembered a word of prophesy spoken over me a couple months ago. The man said, "You will be coming to a place where you will have to make many decisions." Then he proceeded to tell me the answer to my question was "Yes". He didn't know what that meant and asked me if I did. Not wanting to waste his time, I said I did. Well, I thought I would realize it later. I have an idea or two, but I'm still not sure what the question was. I figure out a lot of stuff when I'm writing, maybe it will come to me.
It's funny how God brings up a subject and we know immediately it is Him. I had that happen this morning when I read my daily email from David Jeremiah "Turning Point". The subject - lying. I knew this was something He wanted to talk about because I have recently had to deal with a friend who I have caught lying. This friend is someone I really trusted and to be honest, it's really broken me. I was a liar for many years and maybe that is why God is bringing this up to me now. I was married to a man who told the truth no matter how it made me feel. For instance, "You are attractive, but I have dated more attractive women." Yep, he said that days after I married him. I could have went a lifetime without hearing that. I mean duh, there is always someone more attractive, but do we want to hear about it? So, another fork. I have gone from being a liar in my past to being painfully honest. Is there a middle road? Is it okay to tell white lies for the sake of an other's feelings? I myself would rather hear the truth than have my feelings saved, even if it hurts.
David Jeremiah says, "We need to be sensitive to the fact that when someone claims to have all the answers, perhaps they are simply exalting themselves and misrepresenting there true motives, as the antichrist will do when he comes. Let's be as wise as serpents, asking God for wisdom to weigh the words of others. Don't believe everything you hear, and don't believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God. (1 John 4:1)"
I go from one extreme to the other. Maybe he forgot. Maybe he doesn't remember. Maybe he's not thinking clearly right now. Or maybe he is not who I thought he was. Maybe I should not have confided in him at all. Now he knows so much about me and what will he do with it. If someone will tell a white lie, will they tell a big one? Can liars keep secrets? Wow, that's another thing, he has secrets. It is totally by accident that I even know I have been lied to and secrets have been kept. Accident? Or is God trying to show me something? Is the enemy playing this up?
I know people exaggerate. I know people can see a situation differently than we do. But when you are consistently shown inconsistencies, I think it's time to make a decision. When we are lied to we ask ourselves a lot of questions, like how long? Has this been going on the whole time? How big? Why?
I think in these days we have to be very careful. We cannot trust someone because they have a title. We can't trust someone because others do. We can't trust somebody because they have a big following. Seriously, the antichrist will have a big following. There are a few people that I know in my heart God has told me to stay away from. I'm not saying these people are bad, but maybe they are misled and I will be swayed. Maybe I am not strong enough in my beliefs yet and God is protecting me from being sidetracked. We have to trust the Lord, in fact He is the only one we can truly, 100% trust.
I realize we are all trying to learn and grow... or are we. This is how I determine who I want in my life. I want people who want to grow, who want to learn more about the Lord, who hunger for more. People who say they have learning to do, but aren't reaching out to do it, scare me. We all have times of rest and seasons where He may not be teaching us great lessons, but we stay in the word and try to learn.
So at this point, I have decided to stick with the truth, no matter how painful. Don't ask me a question you don't want the answer to. The friendship, well... I think that's pretty much over, especially because he won't talk to me about it. - there's your sign. He does want to talk about my issues though - another sign. I think I will be writing this one off and in the future, I will be a lot more careful who I choose to trust. To say it was a little white lie is equal to an adulterer who says, "It was only oral."
“We all make choices, but in the end our choices make us.”
― Ken Levine
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