E.G.O.

"We do not stand in any experience which we have had, we do not stand in any progress which we have made, we do not stand in our success in the battle against sin. We stand in the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which he has justified us.”
― Peter Jensen

     Years ago, there was a young girl around 12 or 13 years old.  She was having a friend spend the night with her at her home.  They had been in her room most of the night with the door closed, giggling and whispering like normal girls her age.  Her older sister was in the kitchen when she smelled marijuana.  Without thinking she spoke it out, "Something smells like pot over here."  Her parents sprung into action.  Within minutes all hell had broken loose and the friend was taken home.  Discipline was administered and what was supposed to be a fun night was destroyed.  Now, alone in her room, was she feeling remorse?  Was it for getting caught?  Or was it for the actual act of smoking a little weed.  Did she really think she could get high in her room and not have the smell travel into every corner of the house through the air ducts?  Silly little girl. 
     The first sign of possible bad behavior was the closed door.  But even with the door closed the odor of the sin filled the house.  We do this with God.  Before we commit a sin we reach over and swing closed the door between us and God.  We get this false belief that with the door closed somehow He doesn't see what we are doing.  A lot of times a parent can tell something is about to go down before it even happens.  Maybe it's silence, sneaky behavior, endless chatter, or simply a closed door.  We know our kids and we sense when something is up. Even as toddlers there is often a change in behavior before the actual naughtiness takes place.  When our kids are little we even laugh about their belief that they are fooling us. 
     God knows what is going to happen behind that closed door before we close the door, or even before the thought crosses our mind to commit the sin.  He doesn't depend on the odor of our sin to permeate through the heating system.  Sometimes when we sense our kids are up to something we sneak around watching them or repeatedly check in with them to see if we can get a sense of what they are up to.  What does Jesus do? 
     I've noticed there are times when He steps back and waits quietly for me to realize what I am doing and that He is there no matter how many doors I try to close between us.  Sometimes He floods me with love when He knows what is going through my mind, when I think about doing something I shouldn't do.  In the past I have learned to picture Him next to me, not neatly tucked away behind a closed door.  I soon find myself confessing to Him my thoughts and the desire to gossip, drink, scream at somebody, or whatever the sin is, goes away.
     One of the things we do as parents is to stay with our kids.  If we stay with them constantly they may give up on whatever idea is swimming in their head.  We say "I love you" to heap guilt on them.  What happens?  They can't get away from us fast enough.  Why does it work for Jesus to follow us around speaking "love" words, but it doesn't work for us?  I believe it is because His "I love you" is not filled to the brim with condition and guilt.  His "I love you" is unconditional.  He might as well be saying, "Whether you go through with this sin or not, I am waiting outside this door you closed and My love for you will not decrease while you are running from Me."
     The distance between us and God is determined by us alone.  He never walks away.  He never moves away from the door we closed, because when we open it again, He is right there, waiting with just as much love for us as He had before we slammed the door in His face.  (OK, maybe you are one of those who gently closes it when you think He is not looking.)  I, myself, am a door slammer.
     We sit and shake our heads and stress out when our kids put distance between us and close doors, but Jesus does not.  He waits patiently, though He may weep.  There are similarities between a parent shut out by a door and Jesus when we shut him out, but worry and stress are not part of it for Him.  Yes, sometimes when we open the door there is discipline, but there is always, always, always Love. 

E.G.O. = Edging God Out.