Broken pieces

“God uses broken things. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume. It is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever.”
― Vance Havner


     A lot of us feel like we don't love God enough.  We feel like we let Him down all the time.  I get this.  Matthew 22:37 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  When I read this I have to ask, how.  How can I do this when my heart is so broken, my soul is splintered and my mind is just not well?  It is the greatest commandment. 
      I survive by believing that love is an action.  There are warm fuzzys that come with it, but if it's an action I am capable.  I fail all the time and God never wants to talk about it.  When I ask Him why I keep messing up, He says it is because I am broken, but the good news is He wants to heal me and will at the pace I allow.  Follow.  That's all I have to do is listen to His instruction and follow.  Sometimes when I am in deep prayer I will get a severe pain in my heart.  I finally asked God if I need to see a doctor.  Why do I have these deep pains when I am conversing with Him?  He said, Because I am healing your heart.  Healing hurts.
     The other day, I asked Him how I was to love Him with all my heart when so many parts of my heart are broken and incapable of love.  His reply?  Love me with the pieces that work and give the rest to me.  As I heal those parts and return them to you, you won't be able to do anything with them, but love me. 
     It's true.  I think of all the healing I have been through already and how much more I love Him today than yesterday.  As my mind and soul heal they too chase after Him in a new way.  So, love Him as much as you are capable and turn the rest over to Him, always asking for more, because we can do all things through Him who gives us the strength.

It is possible to survive nightmare's of the heart; upon awakening a new life will be found." - Patti Snodgrass