Confrontation

“Nothing can be more cruel than the leniency which abandons others to their sin. Nothing can be more compassionate than the severe reprimand which calls another Christian in one’s community back from the path of sin.”
― Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together: The Classic Exploration of Faith in Community

     Confrontation.  Sometimes God calls us to confront someone.  Sometimes God calls their behavior to our attention for us to learn to keep our mouths closed.  Sometimes someone else's behavior is brought to our attention as a mirror to show us that we have the same behavior.  We should only confront when God instructs us to confront or the damage could be devastating.  I have found, which ever I do not want to do, confront or keep my mouth shut, is usually what He wants me to do. 

    I have a garden, known to most as my mind.  One day as I was sitting in my garden, Dave showed up.  "See these old fruit trees?  They need to be taken out and replaced with new."
     "No they don't."
     "Yes, they do.  I had to do the same in my garden years ago."
     "I like them.  They are tall and green."
     "Kayleen, they aren't producing fruit.  In fact they are sucking the life out of all the healthy plants around them.  Look, I even brought new seed and I'm willing to help you pull out the old and plant the new."
     I picked up a shovel and chased Dave out of my garden. He was dropping seeds as he left, but I picked up all I could find and threw them at him.  Apparently, God sent him out of town for his own protection.  I'm pretty sure, it would not have been a good time for him to be around me.  I sat on my bench at the corner of my garden and looked at the old fruit trees.  "Dave doesn't know anything.  He should be worried about his own stupid garden and stay out of mine.  Who does he think he is anyway?"
     I noticed movement in a corner of my garden so I wandered over to make sure Dave had not returned.  There was Jesus with a watering can and a hoe.  He was on his knees working the dirt.
     "What are you doing?"
     He smiled, "Go get a chainsaw."
     "What for?  I'm not taking those trees out."
     He didn't even look up.  He was pulling small weeds and laying His hands on the soil.  He whispered, "Go get the chainsaw."
     I stomped off.  "I will go get the chainsaw, but I'm not cutting down those trees and I am not telling Dave I even brought a chainsaw into my garden."  When I returned I set the chainsaw next to Jesus and asked again, "What are you doing?"
     He pulled back His hand to reveal a little green sprout pushing its way out of the dirt.  "It's one of the seeds that Dave dropped."  I couldn't look away.  There is something about new life that is exciting.  Jesus smiled, "One day this will be a tree and it will produce fruit.  The more time you spend with it the faster it will take root and grow.  Not too fast though, because you want the roots to reach deep into the ground for stability."
     I looked over at the old fruit trees.  Suddenly, they weren't as beautiful and strong as they had appeared earlier.
     "They have to come out.  Let's get started and maybe Dave will help when he gets back."
     "I don't want his help."
     "I do.  I sent him to plant this seed.  I chose him."
     "But Jesus, those trees have been growing there my whole life."
     "I know, but they are sick and they are not producing fruit."
     "Can't we leave them there and plant new ones?  Do we really have to cut them down?"
     "We are not going to cut them down.  We are going to dig them out until every root is gone."
     "That's a lot of work."
     "But you have me and Dave if you will let him back in your garden."
     Jesus and I got started, cutting and digging a little bit at a time.  When I got frustrated, we rested and ate bread and water He brought.  When I was strong again, we got back to work.  I was tugging on a stubborn root when I noticed Dave standing at the edge of the garden.  In one hand he carried a saw and in the other a shovel.  He waited patiently, careful not to step over the line that bordered my garden.
     "Hey, friend.  I will be right here if you decide you need my help.  You just let me know."
     He said nothing about my bad behavior, he only smiled.


     Confrontation is a difficult thing no matter if you are the confronter or the confrontee.  To confront someone is to take risk.  You may lose something.  But if God asks you to be the one and you follow His lead and speak His words, you more likely will be blessed in ways you didn't imagine.  If He instructs you to stay out of it and only observe and you follow His instruction you are sure to be blessed.  If He asks you to look in a mirror at your own behavior and you do, you will be blessed.  Obey.  To obey is to be blessed.  I don't know if anyone besides Dave could have broken through that wall and actually planted that seed, but I'm glad he did.  There are a lot of dead fruit trees that need to come out by the root and it will take a while, but there is no room to plant new until the old trees (thoughts, ideas and behaviors) are gone.

Joshua 5:6 For the people of Israel walked forty years in the wilderness, until all the nation, the men of war who came out of Egypt, perished, because they did not obey the voice of the LORD; the LORD swore to them that he would not let them see the land that the LORD had sworn to their fathers to give to us, a land flowing with milk and honey.