Nothing really matters!

Joshua 5:13-15  New International Version (NIV)

The Fall of Jericho

13 Now when Joshua was near Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with a drawn sword in his hand. Joshua went up to him and asked, “Are you for us or for our enemies?”
14 “Neither,” he replied, “but as commander of the army of theLord I have now come.” Then Joshua fell facedown to the ground in reverence, and asked him, “What message does my Lord[a] have for his servant?”
15 The commander of the Lord’s army replied, “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy.” And Joshua did so.


     When we are born life is simple. We get hungry, we cry, we are fed. We want to be held and comforted, we cry, we are held and comforted. We want to sleep, we sleep. Then the world steps in. There are lessons that must be learned once we become mobile. Fire is hot, dress according to the weather, use a spoon for soup and a knife and fork for meat. Don't lift your cup too high or you will dump your drink all over yourself. We don't think about these things though, they are as easy as breathing.
     What we spend too much time thinking about is the other stuff the world teaches us. If you wear your pants too short you will be laughed at. Not all people will like you. Love can hurt. Some people think they know more than they do. None of this really matters. Start with the simple. So what if people laugh at you? If they want to be that shallow it's most likely because they were hurt. Nothing really matters.
     Recently in another country two women age 20 and 22 were kidnapped, raped, tortured, and told to renounce Christ and convert to Islam. While the whole community was praying for their safe return, I could only pray for God's will to be done. His plan is beyond my thinking. Of course my thinking processes have been altered by abuse, neglect, and survival. This is how I see it: to go through what those girls went through and on top of it knowing that their pastor watched the video of their torture made by the kidnappers, I would have rather died. To die without giving in to their captors demands would be to die with honor. To leave this world and and walk with Jesus would be the preferred outcome. You may think I am warped and if it was my daughter I wouldn't feel this way, but I would. Recovering from such an extreme ordeal to me, is more difficult than the actual torture. You may think I don't know because it was not me in their shoes, but I can tell you the battle ahead of these girls could be long and difficult. Obviously God has a plan and I respect that. But don't we usually want the outcome that makes us feel better?
     When I was pregnant with my second child I watched a movie about the kidnapping and murder of Adam Walsh. There was a scene in that movie where the parents were in a hotel room and found out that Adam had been beheaded. The father tore apart the bed. I remember him shoving the mattress to the floor and I recognized that kind of pain. I sat on the couch and cried with him. That's when I also realized how much that boy would not have to go through. He was in heaven. He would not have to suffer through nightmares, fear, anger, and maybe eventually addictions, divorce and other such situations that a lot of people recovering from such abuse go through. I understand the parent's pain. I don't know if I could survive something like that happening to my child or grandchild, but I see all that he escaped by Jesus taking him home.
     It's a bigger picture. We focus on what we think is best. We focus on and let others control our behavior. Sometimes it's only what we imagine others are thinking that controls how we behave. Over the years I have heard a lot of gossip. One statement I'm sure a lot of us have heard whispered, "Did you know she had a baby when she was just a teenager and gave it up for adoption?" This one makes me sick. A teen in an adult situation, loving another human being enough to put their needs before her own is someone I hold a huge amount of respect for. Somebody who can think beyond the moment, the "I want", and see into the future of her baby and herself and make such a mature decision deserves our respect, not our whispers. It doesn't matter what "they" think. They should learn a lesson in love. It only matters what God thinks.
     I understand there are feelings involved in all these situations, pain, fear, anger, I get it. I understand screaming up at God, "Which side are you on? Are you for me or against me?" I've done it.  What an honor for God to allow the ransom to be paid and those two girls to be set free. A great honor. He trusts them with their pain and with their wounds. He has a plan for their pain. He will provide what they need for his plan to be played out. Nothing else matters.  Another defeat for the enemy. So as he sits in his corner more angry and more full of hate planning his next move and we are down here on earth screaming at God, "Which side are you on?" God is answering us with a question, "Which side are you on?"

“I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer. Before your face questions die away. What other answer would suffice?”
― C.S. Lewis