“As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways in which I could respond to my situation -- either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.
As I set out to find the reason for slipping back into the pit I have to face that my two strongest strongholds are fear and anger. I have beat a lot of fear in the last two years, but have barely put a dent in my anger issues. On a daily basis I am more calm than I have ever been, but when the anger comes it can still feel like trying to control an erupting volcano.
The last few days I have been listening to a man speak mostly about healing through forgiveness of our sins, forgiving those who have sinned against us and forgiving our ancestors who may have, through their sins, placed a generational curse on our families. This has been very interesting.
He really caught my attention today when he said there are 3 main heart wounds that cause fear and anger and can possibly harden the victims heart. The three are 1) Betrayal 2) Abandonment and 3) Rejection. Makes sense to me. These three wounds are a powerful force in controlling our will. In Neil T Anderson's book "The Bondage Breaker" he states that three things Adam and Eve enjoyed before they were deceived were 1) Significance - Humanity had a divine purpose 2) Safety and Security - God provided for all of humanity's needs 3) Belonging - Humanity had a sense of identity and belonging to God and to each other. These were lost when the teeth hit the apple. Do you see what I see? The enemy has been after the same thing since the very beginning. Nothing new here.
There are people who can see into the supernatural world. Some see the demonic, some see God's angels, and some see other things that I don't yet understand. But I think I am starting to understand that demons leave their prints on us. Even if the demon is cast off of us, if he has been with us for a long time, there are prints left behind. I get a picture of God working the clay to get the enemy's thumbprints out of it. Pretty painful. We grow accustomed to reacting a certain way to a given situation and if that print is still there it affects us. I also believe that when we have a demon spirit attached to us, we can recognize that spirit on someone else. I think this why abused children and adults who have been abused as children have a special bond and seem to be drawn to each other. I think this also has something to do with the people who anger us. They say when you don't like something about someone it's because you are alike in that area. Say if you have a controlling spirit or deal with promiscuity or a manipulative spirit, you get frustrated with people battling the same demon because you hated it in yourself. Make sense?
Today I heard that when shown a spirit of rejection on a person it appears as an arrow in the heart that creates a shunt and it acts like a magnet and draws predators. Abandonment is like a poisonous dart. The enemy wants to label an abandoned person as a victim. Betrayal - a butcher's knife in the back. I don't get this, but I do have trusted friends that see this kind of supernatural... stuff. I don't know if it comes to them in a picture, like God sometimes gives me or if they actually see it on the person. This all makes sense. You have to heal the heart wounds, through forgiveness. I thought I did that when I went through The Bondage Breaker course, but I'm wondering if it's time to go through it again at a deeper level. I forgave ancestors, but I wonder if I missed something.
You can forgive the rapist for the rape, but then you realize you have to forgive him for your fear of the dark, then for how it has affected your parenting and so on and so on. I also think there is something to forgiving his parent's. It's a place to start. I keep listening and reading and studying. One day God will say, "That's it. You got it".
“...abused women... convert their rage and self contempt into a passionate commitment to never be hurt again.” Nancy Groom
No comments:
Post a Comment