Climbing the Cactus

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing" - Helen Keller


     "Jesus, I'm ready.  I'm going to grab the cactus.  If I go really fast, it will still hurt, but it will be over faster."
     "That's how you do it."
     "Great idea huh?"
     "Not!!  What I mean is that's how YOU always choose to do things.  You live life in 5th gear.  How much time do you have to process in 5th gear?  You eat fast, you talk fast, you move fast, you fall fast.  This is a process and you have to take it one step at a time with my instruction.  This is going to hurt no matter how you do it, but it doesn't have to hurt like you think.  You move slow and break off each spine as you go.  Some people have long sharp spines on their cactus and some have smaller spines.  But sometimes it's the smaller spines that hurt the most."
     "I'm not sure I understand."
     "This isn't a race.  The finish line is the goal, but not reached until Heaven.  The journey is where it's at.  That's where we build relationship.  That's where you learn to trust me and that's where you will see how much I love you.  One "sure footed" step at a time."
     "So where do I start?"
     "At the beginning.  Let's get rid of control.  The first thing you have to do is stop controlling and let me.  I want you to break off those first spines.  Right there, the first one, is control of your life, then controlling others and that big one there, that's your attempt at controlling Me.  No hurry, whenever you're ready go ahead and start busting them off."
     "What do I do with them?"
     "You can throw them completely out of reach or you could drop them into your pit so you can be poked by them if you decide to slide back in.  Your choice."
     So I find a comfortable position and begin to break off the cactus spines of control.  It's tough.  They don't want to break off and I find myself pricking my fingers and hands on other spines.  It hurts, but I diligently and slowly work at it.  "Jesus, I have been working at this a long time and I have barely touched the cactus."
     "I know, but I will be here through the whole process, sometimes directing you and sometimes I will be so silent you will think I have gone, but believe."
     As I continue to work at it, I become so frustrated, I finally say, "OK, I'm done fighting this, I give up.  Will you help me?"  It's then that I see the spines of control fall away.
     "Surrender is the answer for the need to control.  Now, you will need to break off those big spines of unforgiveness.  Then you will be able to reach the shorter ones around them."
     "What are the shorter ones?"
     "Your fuse."  Jesus began to chuckle.
     I found myself smiling with Him, but not understanding.  "What do you mean?"
     "Anger and rage."  He was still smiling.  "You have a short fuse."
     "Funny, really funny.  Nice play on words."
     "Yes, it was.  You will have to forgive to break the spines of unforgiveness and eventually the spines of anger will fall away.  You have to truly forgive and I will help you with that."
     I began again to work at the spines on the cactus, occasionally looking up to be overwhelmed by the length of the cactus and the abundance of spines I had to clear to climb out of my pit.  "Why a cactus?  Seriously, why did you choose a cactus knowing it would hurt?"
     "Dealing with these things is painful, but if you allow me to guide you through the pain is lessened.  My love for you is like a thick blanket thrown over the cactus to protect you from being pierced badly."
     "I'm going to trust You on that."
     "Did you know that a cactus stores water?"
     "I've heard that."
     "The spines are for protection."  Jesus smiled that contagious smile again.
     "I get that.  It's about survival."  I couldn't help but smile back.
     "The spines don't only defend against herbivores, spines help prevent water loss."
     "You lost me.  I don't understand what I am supposed to be understanding."
     That's when Jesus reached out and touched my hand.  "You are the cactus and the water inside is the Living Water.  You have grown these spines for survival, for protection, but Beloved, these spines are holding the water in."
 
“I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much.”
― Mother Teresa