Baptized

     My true journey began a year ago on Mother's Day when I was baptized.  I was saved in my early teens, but only talked to God when I was having an emergency, which was often, but it was more like a 911 call than a relationship.  The day I was baptized I sank into a darkness like I had never seen before.  I didn't realize at the time it was Satan.  He was not happy with my decision to change my life and I was under attack.  I spent one month contemplating suicide.  Even though I had thoughts before during my life, this was different, because now I believed even God couldn't help me.  I finally contacted a pastor I had heard speak about his story.  He was free to talk about his mistakes, knowing God forgave him and loved him.  I wanted what he had. 
     The last year has been the most difficult year of my life, yet it has been the most rewarding.  I have experienced God like I never thought possible, but I have also experienced demons like I never thought possible.  Because I am easily distracted, especially by addictions, I took off running down my path to Jesus.  I have to admit though, sometimes I found myself running the wrong way.  I thank God I had a friend who turned me back around and sometimes had to give me a good shove to get me going again.  Most of the time he walked ahead of me and held out a hand for the times I needed it.  Maybe he will be courageous and post here one day.