Decisions

“I was only able to get over my past when I decided I was going to! As I’ve discovered, that’s how everything starts. I decided to get out of bed this morning. I decided to get ready for work (D’oh! Another early morning). Everything I did today was because I made a decision. Although we can’t set ourselves free, getting up and making a decision to move on from our past is a step in the right direction. We can’t do God’s part, and He won’t do our part. He can’t make that decision for you, because only you can. But once you have made that decision, He can help you with the rest.”
― Corallie Buchanan, Watch Out! Godly Women on the Loose

We have all had to make tough decisions. Sometimes we have friends who know what we are supposed to do, or at least think they do. You have five friends convinced you need to turn left and five friends convinced you are supposed to turn right. They may have even heard it from God. Now what? At this point in my life it's not about easy or difficult, it's not even about want. All I want to do is God's will and most of the time lately that hasn't been too difficult to figure out, but what about the times when He is silent and/or wants to talk about other things? 

I have two major decisions tied together actually, that I cannot hear God on. I am torn right down the middle and ready to follow what ever God wants me to do, but He is not telling me what He wants me to do. Decisions suck. First things first, I am trying to push all feelings aside and only focus on His will. Whatever that is. Usually when I tap in to His will I find a peace that I can't even explain. When I go against His will, I know it. It's still like being that kids that took one more cookie wen nobody was looking.

Maybe I am suppose to wait. Maybe I am just supposed to be still at this time and not make a decision, but I am one of those people who like to know where my ducks are. They don't even have to be in a row, I just want to know where they are. This following Him in faith has been extremely rewarding and getting easier lately. (Even when it's difficult) With this decision it's like following Him in a very thick fog and my eyes are playing tricks on me. Safest thing to do in thick fog is sit still. That's what I am going to do. Nothing!!

Or I've also heard, God can't direct you if you're not moving. You can sit in the car and turn the wheel all day but if you are not moving forward, you're not going the right way or the wrong way. Ha. I'm turning away from both things. That's what I am going to do. If God wants me to turn around, I believe He will make this a dead end road.

I'm willing to get out of the boat. I'm more concerned about even being in the right boat.