― David McGee
The enemy has attacked. He has attacked my writing. The one thing I have always done to quiet the wrestling in my spirit so that it could hear the truth is write. It's not to impress anyone or change lives it's just part of me that God put there for a reason. Trying not to write is usually like trying to hold back a sneeze, but the enemy has beaten me lately to a point where it's more of a challenge to write than not to write. Well with these hands that release my spirit clutter, I have a gesture for Satan. There is only one thing I have had a passion for since I was a very young child, only one dream nobody has ever taken from me and I've decided I'm not about to give it up to the enemy. I write for me and I write for God. That's all I have to say about that.
There have been many attacks these past few weeks. I have been in a battle that would be much easier to surrender than to keep fighting. At least that's what I thought. Then God showed up. I have listened to several CD's the last couple days that have really spoken to me. This morning I was listening to a man speak about how some of us meet Jesus in our heads and some with our hearts, but there needs to be a balance. I am a "Head Believer" I get what He wants from me and why, but to internalize it, to feel it, just goes against every survival tool I have sharpened with skill for many years. So I was told to meditate on His word. Meditate on the situation until God speaks. Well it was pretty quiet as I sat there waiting...waiting...waiting like waiting for grass to grow. I knew it would happen, but when God when?
Then I heard Him, "Get in the car. There is something I want to show you." As I threw on clothes and brushed my teeth I went through the usual questioning. "Is this really You God? Am I making this up in my head?" I mean really? Who has heard of Him saying something like "Get in the car"? Well. I had nothing else to do so I went. He first told me to put gas in the car and I argued, "I have a quarter tank", but then gave in and put gas in the car. Then He told me to take money out of the bank. He gave me the dollar amount and I did it. Then I drove and I waited.
I brought the whole CD series I was listening to, not just the one I was on, but for some reason I brought the whole series. I listened and I drove and I drove and I drove in circles, questioning. I knew God was going to have me give the money or buy something for someone and I constantly questioned Him. This person? That person? I was getting a great message from the CD as I drove but I continued to question Him. He did say that the person He was sending me to help would pray over me, specifically the issues I am dealing with lately. The only other things I clearly heard were "I will tell you" and "Be quiet and listen". I saw people along the road in broken down cars, but nothing. I asked about friends I knew could use the help, but still nothing. I continued to drive and listen to the CD and wait.
As I was headed back toward town after an hour of driving I saw approximately the 5th car broken down along the road with the driver looking stressed. As I drove by I asked God, "Is that her?" I very clearly heard "Starbucks" and it was just up the road so I drove there. The instant I entered the parking lot I knew it wasn't there. I drove back toward the lady along side the road and I told God to stop me if this is not right. I heard Him very clearly in my heart say, "Ask her if she knows Jesus." Oh no, don't make me do that. That's too much. I've never done that. I argued as I thought about driving by her without stopping. At the last minute I pulled off behind her car and totally surrendered my will. He told me to give her the money and my CD set and whatever else she needed.
I wasn't even out of the car when the woman stepped from her vehicle obviously relieved that someone had actually stopped. The first thing I noticed was the apron she wore and the "Starbucks" emblem on the front of it. I couldn't help but smile. Confirmation!! This was it. I was right where I was supposed to be. She confirmed she was having car trouble and then asked how far up the road I was going. It took me a minute to push out the words, but I asked, "Do you know Jesus?"
"Oh yes I do. He always shows up when I need Him."
"Well, He sent me to help you so you tell me what you need and I'll do it."
She was late for work. She takes care of an elderly gentleman and needed to get to him. So we loaded her stuff in my messy car and I handed her the CD's and the money. She started to refuse with tears in her eyes which totally choked me up but I explained, this is not from me, this is straight from God. It was a little bit of drive and I knew why God had me put gas in the car. Three different times the woman placed her hands on me and prayed. What blew me away is that she hit on every issue I have been battling lately. I told her the whole story from "Get in the car" to the Starbucks emblem on her apron. She didn't even work there. I was glad the the drive lasted as long as it did and actually could have talked with her longer.
When I drove away I was totally overwhelmed with the whole thing. God came to my house and said "Follow me". I did. He had me on the road preparing to help a woman who had not even broken down yet. I wondered what it was like for her to know that God loved her that much. He sent help before she even knew it was needed. I think about that apron she wore. I will never forget seeing that emblem, it was like Jesus saying to me, "Good job"
This was obviously God moving what I believed in my head down into my heart. Love is an action. I have to focus on that sometimes because I have learned to shut off feelings without even trying. I put love into action today but it definitely moved to my heart, because I instantly cared for this woman. This evening I heard a message on how fear stops us in so many ways. I see that in my fear of missing it. Not hearing God correctly. Driving by when I should be stopping. The joy that comes from being part of God's plan, of having Him use me to help someone in need is so huge, I would have given her my car if He told me to. Obedience walks hand in hand with the Wonder. Whatever God, whatever You want. I just don't want to miss a thing. I want every single thing You have to give me.
“To truly try means to accept God's love, his healing, to accept the world can be ugly, but your heart doesn't have to be. It takes courage, Finley the warrior. You haven't held on to your anger and bitterness in search of healing, but as a banner of your hurt. Because it's real and visible and strong, " she said. "But so is God's love and so are those arms he's holding out for you.”
― Jenny B. Jones, There You'll Find Me
As I was headed back toward town after an hour of driving I saw approximately the 5th car broken down along the road with the driver looking stressed. As I drove by I asked God, "Is that her?" I very clearly heard "Starbucks" and it was just up the road so I drove there. The instant I entered the parking lot I knew it wasn't there. I drove back toward the lady along side the road and I told God to stop me if this is not right. I heard Him very clearly in my heart say, "Ask her if she knows Jesus." Oh no, don't make me do that. That's too much. I've never done that. I argued as I thought about driving by her without stopping. At the last minute I pulled off behind her car and totally surrendered my will. He told me to give her the money and my CD set and whatever else she needed.
I wasn't even out of the car when the woman stepped from her vehicle obviously relieved that someone had actually stopped. The first thing I noticed was the apron she wore and the "Starbucks" emblem on the front of it. I couldn't help but smile. Confirmation!! This was it. I was right where I was supposed to be. She confirmed she was having car trouble and then asked how far up the road I was going. It took me a minute to push out the words, but I asked, "Do you know Jesus?"
"Oh yes I do. He always shows up when I need Him."
"Well, He sent me to help you so you tell me what you need and I'll do it."
She was late for work. She takes care of an elderly gentleman and needed to get to him. So we loaded her stuff in my messy car and I handed her the CD's and the money. She started to refuse with tears in her eyes which totally choked me up but I explained, this is not from me, this is straight from God. It was a little bit of drive and I knew why God had me put gas in the car. Three different times the woman placed her hands on me and prayed. What blew me away is that she hit on every issue I have been battling lately. I told her the whole story from "Get in the car" to the Starbucks emblem on her apron. She didn't even work there. I was glad the the drive lasted as long as it did and actually could have talked with her longer.
When I drove away I was totally overwhelmed with the whole thing. God came to my house and said "Follow me". I did. He had me on the road preparing to help a woman who had not even broken down yet. I wondered what it was like for her to know that God loved her that much. He sent help before she even knew it was needed. I think about that apron she wore. I will never forget seeing that emblem, it was like Jesus saying to me, "Good job"
This was obviously God moving what I believed in my head down into my heart. Love is an action. I have to focus on that sometimes because I have learned to shut off feelings without even trying. I put love into action today but it definitely moved to my heart, because I instantly cared for this woman. This evening I heard a message on how fear stops us in so many ways. I see that in my fear of missing it. Not hearing God correctly. Driving by when I should be stopping. The joy that comes from being part of God's plan, of having Him use me to help someone in need is so huge, I would have given her my car if He told me to. Obedience walks hand in hand with the Wonder. Whatever God, whatever You want. I just don't want to miss a thing. I want every single thing You have to give me.
“To truly try means to accept God's love, his healing, to accept the world can be ugly, but your heart doesn't have to be. It takes courage, Finley the warrior. You haven't held on to your anger and bitterness in search of healing, but as a banner of your hurt. Because it's real and visible and strong, " she said. "But so is God's love and so are those arms he's holding out for you.”
― Jenny B. Jones, There You'll Find Me
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