“I've been burdened with blame trapped in the past for too long, I'm moving on”
― Rascal Flatts
I don't think I have ever watched the movie Groundhog Day. Why would I subject myself to that? What a nightmare. I was talking with a friend today and we seem to be on parallel paths dealing with similar issues at the same time. Our stories and the people involved are totally different, but the base of it is the same. It is really helping us to look at each other's situation to see ours more clearly. Here is the funny part - I've been here before. Yep, and I didn't even see that I was coming back here. You know when you trust someone else to get you somewhere and you're just relaxed staring out the passenger window and suddenly you realize "We've been here before." I'm good with directions so it only happens to me when I let someone else have control of the wheel. Ha. "We just went in a big circle" is a very irritating statement.
What I have realized though is when you feel like you are waking up to another groundhog day, it's time to get it right. God will take you in a complete circle and give you another chance to listen to Him. Lately, I have made statements like, "How did I get back here?" and "Why does God always make me deal with this?" and even, "What a dumb ass, how did I fall for that again?" I have been here before.
My dad taught me when I rode horse up in the mountains to look back every once in awhile. That way you will recognize the path from the opposite direction. On certain paths this makes sense and if you are going back the way you came. Another thing he always said is to take note of things like oddly growing trees, fallen trees, and things that stand out. I do this when driving to this day. That way, I can find my way back and more importantly, I don't find myself going in circles or at least I catch myself.
Recently, God told me He has been giving me dreams with meaning all my life. Immediately two of them came back to me. The first was one I had more than once as a very young girl. I was walking into my house, feeling happy to be home, when all of a sudden there were pirates every where. I ran back outside and looked at the house. It sure looked like our house, but it was set on a ship and there was a pirate flag. So, I went to find my house and make sure it was the one without the flag. When I found it and went in, guess who was back? Sure enough, I would go outside and there was what looked like our house but on a ship, with that darn flag again. The Lord told me that the dream represents the enemy trying to take my life. The pirates represented the demonic and they were imitating my house to make me comfortable. He does like to imitate God. The other dream I won't get into it, but it was symbolic of exactly the situation I am in right now. I feel this was God's way of saying, I'm talking to you and have always been. He has always been with me.
So what some might call "Ground hog's Day" I am calling a "Return to the Pirate Ship" Here I am. This is a little different though as God allows it. He sends us back around the mountain until we get it right. The way I see it, I was so busy making sure there was no flag, that I missed all the other signs, like the hull of the ship. We try so hard not to end up back in the same situation that we fall right into a little different version. It's like the person who tries very hard to make sure the cook doesn't put tomatoes on his burger, but has ketchup dripping from his chin from the French fries. Ahh, but I didn't eat the tomatoes. Really? The feelings are all the same when the allergic reaction hits!
As soon as you find yourself saying "How did I get back here?" you have to realize you missed something in the first lesson. Then you ask God what you were supposed to learn from it and He will walk you through it again. And again. And again, until you get it right. The funny thing is, whether the person in the mess with you realizes it's his Ground hog's Day again, too. I'm sure glad God spices it up a bit and changes the names and the faces to protect my innocence. Ha.
Another thing He is showing me through this is when you go through the same thing over and over, it is an area He wants you to be strong in, because He is going to use you. My friend for instance, is continually put in positions where she has to confront. Her plan has always been to run, but God says "No, not this time." Where ever the enemy keeps attacking is where God wants to grow you so He can use you. Yep, it's usually your strongest weakness. If you truly ask God into your heart and make a commitment to follow Him, He isn't going to let you skate through this life. He is going to call you on it. You can either run around the mountain again, wake up to Ground hog's Day, or climb aboard the same pirate ship, or you can say, "Enough. I'm going to face this head on and learn my lesson, so God can use me to teach others." Don't get comfortable with your pirates, because they will cut you.
“Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger”
― Sara Evans
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