C. S. Lewis
Sex. Sex is one of the most powerful tools used by the enemy. Addiction and deception are also weapons. Put these three together and we have big problems. These are the ingredients of bombs made by Satan and strategically placed among us, yes, even believers, even pastors and elders and little old sweet ladies. The truth shall set you free. You are only as sick as your secrets. Sex is one of the biggest secrets in our society. Nobody wants to talk about it, though most everybody is doing it. We crack jokes and make off handed remarks, but only once have I heard a pastor speak about sex and only sex for one full hour while the old ladies squirmed in their seats, teenagers giggled, and old men tried desperately not to smile. The in-between middle aged, tried to appear as though they were seriously listening, totally comfortable with the subject. Ha.
Let's get some words out of the way. I am going to use words like penis, vagina, and breasts. Now if any or all of those words caused your shoulders to come together, you have issues. Everybody has at least one of these, the more blessed people have two. (Little joke there) When my son was about fourteen he liked to say the correct terms for our private body parts at the strangest times. We would be sitting around the dinner table laughing and teasing each other when suddenly he would calmly say "Penis". He was entertained by my reaction. Not only did my shoulders come together but strange noises came from my mouth that usually ended with something like "eeeeewwww, ick, why do you have to say that?" Eventually, I had no reaction but to shake my head and roll my eyes at him. He broke through my uncomfortableness of hearing those words out loud.
Over the last year I have learned that God turns our biggest problems into our biggest promises. He uses the damaged parts of our lives to heal others. Wouldn't it make sense then that the enemy would use our biggest gifts against us? For a light example if a person has the gift of business sense, doesn't the enemy use that at times to turn them into crooks. The gift of leadership meant to lead people in the Word could be used to lead people in the wrong direction. One of the first gifts God gave to people, Adam and Eve, was sex. A way that two married people can become close and enjoy each other. But Satan uses it against us.
One of the strategically placed bombs that Satan places is in childhood. When a child is sexually abused it affects their body image, their self-esteem, their ability to speak out and their whole concept about sex and what it is. That's just a small part of the consequences, but it also is passed from generation to generation spreading out like a plague. Affairs, rape degradation of woman and men for that matter, prostitution, and addiction are only some of the ways the enemy uses the gift of sex against us. We let him, by keeping these things a secret.
We tend to think that an addiction to sex is somehow worse than an addiction to alcohol and the addiction to alcohol is somehow worse than lying and lying worse than gossip, but aren't they all equally damaging? Doesn't one lead to another? I think this would be a good time for scripture.
Proverbs 6:16-19 New International Version (NIV)
16 There are six things the Lord hates,
seven that are detestable to him:
17 haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that shed innocent blood,
18 a heart that devises wicked schemes,
feet that are quick to rush into evil,
19 a false witness who pours out lies
and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.
I find it interesting that addict is not listed here, though each item on the list could be used to describe the person who is talking about them. Gossip and judgement seem to be the only way sexual issues are being discussed. If we were open and honest about sex with our teenagers, would teen pregnancy go away? If we communicated about sex more openly with our spouse would more marriages be saved? I can say with 100% certainty that if we all started speaking up and speaking out about child sexual abuse a lot of these issues would be eliminated. Wounded people abuse others sexually. Wounded people have affairs and only communication can heal wounds. Communication with God first, then maybe a counselor or our spouse or our children, whomever is affected.
Let's get some words out of the way. I am going to use words like penis, vagina, and breasts. Now if any or all of those words caused your shoulders to come together, you have issues. Everybody has at least one of these, the more blessed people have two. (Little joke there) When my son was about fourteen he liked to say the correct terms for our private body parts at the strangest times. We would be sitting around the dinner table laughing and teasing each other when suddenly he would calmly say "Penis". He was entertained by my reaction. Not only did my shoulders come together but strange noises came from my mouth that usually ended with something like "eeeeewwww, ick, why do you have to say that?" Eventually, I had no reaction but to shake my head and roll my eyes at him. He broke through my uncomfortableness of hearing those words out loud.
Over the last year I have learned that God turns our biggest problems into our biggest promises. He uses the damaged parts of our lives to heal others. Wouldn't it make sense then that the enemy would use our biggest gifts against us? For a light example if a person has the gift of business sense, doesn't the enemy use that at times to turn them into crooks. The gift of leadership meant to lead people in the Word could be used to lead people in the wrong direction. One of the first gifts God gave to people, Adam and Eve, was sex. A way that two married people can become close and enjoy each other. But Satan uses it against us.
One of the strategically placed bombs that Satan places is in childhood. When a child is sexually abused it affects their body image, their self-esteem, their ability to speak out and their whole concept about sex and what it is. That's just a small part of the consequences, but it also is passed from generation to generation spreading out like a plague. Affairs, rape degradation of woman and men for that matter, prostitution, and addiction are only some of the ways the enemy uses the gift of sex against us. We let him, by keeping these things a secret.
We tend to think that an addiction to sex is somehow worse than an addiction to alcohol and the addiction to alcohol is somehow worse than lying and lying worse than gossip, but aren't they all equally damaging? Doesn't one lead to another? I think this would be a good time for scripture.
Proverbs 6:16-19 New International Version (NIV)
16 There are six things the Lord hates,
seven that are detestable to him:
17 haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that shed innocent blood,
18 a heart that devises wicked schemes,
feet that are quick to rush into evil,
19 a false witness who pours out lies
and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.
I find it interesting that addict is not listed here, though each item on the list could be used to describe the person who is talking about them. Gossip and judgement seem to be the only way sexual issues are being discussed. If we were open and honest about sex with our teenagers, would teen pregnancy go away? If we communicated about sex more openly with our spouse would more marriages be saved? I can say with 100% certainty that if we all started speaking up and speaking out about child sexual abuse a lot of these issues would be eliminated. Wounded people abuse others sexually. Wounded people have affairs and only communication can heal wounds. Communication with God first, then maybe a counselor or our spouse or our children, whomever is affected.
Sin is usually kept secret, but sexual sin is even kept secret by those who are victims of it. A woman who is cheated on is ashamed to tell. The man who cheated is ashamed to speak out. The abused child is full of shame and Oh God what would happen if a person screamed out for help when they felt the urge to touch a child? What would you do if somebody came to you and said, I have this sexual urge, addiction or perversion? What would Jesus do? That's what we should do. Not whisper about seeing a woman walk into a sexual addiction meeting or whisper "There's that girl who was raped." No. It's those whispers of judgement that keep sexual sin hidden underground where it just keeps growing and spreading like a disease. Satan is laughing at our fear of exposure.
My mentors, those that I try to learn from are the ones who are speaking out about their sexual sin. They are the only ones who are reaching out to those injured by the same sins. No matter the role a person plays in sexual sin, everyone is a victim. Where is the problem? It's in all of us. Those who commit sexual sins have been injured and now are injuring others. Those very few people who have never in any way shape or form had their life affected by sexual sin, but are judging others are doing more damage than anyone, because they are scaring people into silence.
I've heard many times that churches are hospitals for the sick. I see a big cross on top of the building, with red only in places where the stakes were driven through his body. I see an emergency room for those who can't find the will to live. I see a cardiac unit for those with a broken heart. There are units for the abandoned and neglected, for the beaten down, for the prideful, for the liars, for the alcoholics, drug addicts and sex addicts, the gossips, and the judgmental, for all who want to get well. But the most awesome thing I see is there is no shame in walking into the unit you need to heal your own personal wounds. And the units are all in one big room and their is only one doctor, but several nurses. This is how it should be. Oh yeah and I didn't even use any of those uncomfortable words.
Mehmet Oz
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