Deceiving? Me?

While we are indifferent to our good qualities, we keep on deceiving ourselves in regard to our faults, until we come to look on them as virtues.” Heinrich Heine

I love to learn. That's a lie. I love to learn about things I am interested in. There are several things I have no interest in learning, like taxes and mortgages. No interest. But when I find something I am interested in, I want to learn everything I can about it. One of those things I love to learn about most is people. I think people are very interesting. I like to observe how people interact, how they problem solve, and how they deal with life's tragedies and triumphs. It isn't always easy to learn about people because of the false images they put out for the world to see. It's even hard to learn about myself because of the lies I have told me for so long.

God has been talking to me about deception and I even posted the other day, I had stopped lying years ago. God, with His beautiful sense of humor, tested me and honestly, I failed 100%. He tested me by sending a vacuum cleaner salesman of all people to my door. Sweet girl. She wanted to come into my home and show me how it worked, cleaning the carpets in one room for free. I liked her right off the bat. I need my carpets cleaned. I was in the middle of a few things and truly, I didn't want to be bothered. I didn't realize it until I closed the door and turned around to walk away, but I lied my face off right straight to her face. I didn't even think about it. Boom! I have company coming is what I told her. She offered to clean an "out of the way" room. The truth was, I wasn't interest, I didn't want to be bothered, and I don't like strangers in the safe place I call home. Why couldn't I just say that?  I had a pretty good laugh there in the kitchen with God.

I guess I have more to learn. I started looking at the ways we deceive ourselves and others. When I looked at it from the angle of trying to portray a false image, it was a lot easier to see. (Plus, Dave gave me some eye-opening literature) Of course I haven't told Dave I lied yet. Years ago I found a lot of relief when I learned that a few things that weren't acceptable to give as an answer, truly are acceptable. "I don't know" for instance, is a legitimate answer IF you don't know. "I'm not interested", is acceptable IF you're not interested. "I don't want to" is okay.  Even, "I don't care", IF you truly don't care. I think they were unacceptable, because the people I was answering, wanted a different answer.

Hinting. Hinting is wrong. It's the fear of coming out with a request. You can't be upset when you don't get the result you wanted if you didn't even ask the question. One form of deception I use often and only realized how deceptive it is recently is humor. When I say something I want to say and then laugh about it, it's really giving a false image. It's saying I'm not serious about my statement. It's keeping me safe until I get a feel for what the person thinks. Here's a little humor for you, right now, I'm hiding from the vacuum cleaner people. They are back, knocking on my door and I am deceiving them into thinking I'm not here. Whew, they're gone. Do you think God will keep sending them back until I face them with the truth? I think it's a possibility. Learning isn't fun right now, even though I am laughing.

One thing that caught my eye in reading the stuff Dave gave me, is name dropping. I'm sorry, but I find this humorous. When people drop names, my first thought is always, what does that person have to do with who you are. This whole false image thing is huge.  What about wearing clothes that make you appear thinner, or taller?  WHat about wearing a hat to cover a balding head?  What does God think of this type of "false image"?  I used to say I was a chameleon, able to go from one type of people group to another and fit in. It was like changing masks, okay, the whole costume. I did this so well, busy being whoever I was required to be to keep people happy, that I lost me and only now am I beginning to figure out who I am.

I've been asking God for the last few days, why we are talking about deceit. What is the deeper message? I just realized what it is in the last few minutes. It's our identity. He wants us to find our true identity in Him. Quit hiding behind false images. If you start reading at Ephesians 6:10 and go from there, you will learn what we are to put on and I don't see anything about a mask in there. Of course there is nothing about hiding in your room from the vacuum cleaner salesman either.  I'm up here looking for my belt of truth. Really. I am.

To be honest, I stole this quote from Dave, so now you know I am a liar and a thief.

There is nothing more winsome or attractive than a person who is secure enough in being loved by God that he or she lives with a spirit of openness and transparency and without guile - John Ortberg